We are co-sleepers and are not open to changing that because at 10 months he is still primarily breastfed and nurses all night, which I am delighted with because I am choosing to let lactational amenorhhea space my children. Since our baby was about 3 months I have put him in his crib for his morning nap and at bedtime (7 pm) until I go to bed. This gives me a bit of time with my 3 yr old son, and then with my husband after big brother goes to sleep around 8. So he's always willing to go in his crib for his nap, but night is a struggle. For a while he seemed adjusted, but now he has been fighting it for the past month. Every night he'll cry up to 40 minutes before going down for the night. Same routine, I nurse him and rock him til he's sleepy and then lay him down. I tried a bit later in case he was just not tired enough, but that didn't help and I think he is tired since he rubs his eyes and gets cranky by 7. What can I do differently? I'm NOT ready for bed at 7, and if I leave him up he is miserable and my husband and I have no romance. But listening to him cry EVERY night is really bothering me. Ideas?
I can think of 2 things,
lay there til he falls asleep and then move him to the crib, OR put him in bed with his brother til he falls asleep and then move him to the crib.
M
Hi R.,
we are co sleeping parents also. I was never able to breastfeed so that part I have no experience with. My daughter was always okay with the crib until maybe one year of age. She would go down easy but in the middle of the night wake up and there I would rock her to sleep. So one day I did not rock and put her in bed for the first time with us. She never woke up again in the middle of night. Ever since she has been co sleeping with me and hubby. When it wasn't mommy's bedtime I would just lay with her and get up. Yeah people say to not do that but not me. It was comfortable for my child and it never and still does not bother me. My husband and I are very late sleepers so we always enjoy our nights together. Good Luck I can't tolerate the crying either.
We were co-sleepers too! Pretty rare breed. I always just would lay down in my bed with my girls and nurse them to sleep, and then would get up. Rarely would they ever wake up again before I returned to bed. The crib never worked for us except for a play area! Good luck, I am sure it will all work out.
I did a similar thing as you. I would use the crib for naps and bedtime and then when she woke up for her feeding I would bring her to bed. I think that you may be putting him down too late. If he is rubbing his eyes and cranky at 7 and that is when you start the bedtime routine, I would consider moving it back 15 - 30 minutes. For awhile, it sounds ridiculous, I was putting my daughter to bed at 6pm. And she was MUCH happier and fell asleep easier.
I would also at times allow her to fall asleep while nursing. And that did sometimes help the transition to the crib.
Good luck!
Is there a reason you rock and nurse him until he's sleepy instead of letting him just fall asleep? I always just nursed him until he was asleep and then let him dream feed until I knew he was good and knocked out. Then I could lay him down without worry that he'd wake. Then when he woke for his first feed, I'd just bring him back to bed and there he stayed until morning. I did a pack and play in my room instead of the crib. That way when he woke, he was close, but same concept. You also have to keep in mind (and I dont know why this age is the magic number...maybe teething, maybe because they are finally mobile or a combination of things) that 10 months seems to be the magic number for major changes in a baby's routines. He may just be fighuring out a new pattern for himself and needs a few days to adjust himself. I always found that once my baby began a new behavior, as soon as I was at my wit's end and seeking help, it all changed and everything worked out. No help was needed. So hang in there and try nursing until he's good and asleep, if you arent opposed to that. I know some Mom's really like to lay their babies down when they are groggy so the baby can learn to fall asleep and self-soothe on their own, but they are so small still and I dont have any qualms about my baby passing out at my breast. Its the easiest sleep drug in the world! Good Luck!
I know people have said this, but just bring him into your bed, lay him down and nurse. When hes asleep just leave him in your bed since you bring him into your bed anyways once your ready for sleep. I am amazed that your son will take naps in his crib, we only got our daughter to take naps in our arms!!! We still cosleep with our 29 month old and love it.
co-sleepers here too!! and full term nursing and 'alternative' medicine too! we do everything homeopathically and osteopathically. my son has never had tylenol, motrin, antibiotics, otc medicines, etc and he will be 4 years old in may! back to your question - i would nurse my son to sleep in our bed and then leave him. he wouldn't ever go in a crib - for naptime or anything else!! so i just nursed him to sleep and when he was happily snoozing i would leave the room. are you not wanting to leave him in your bed for those few hours? let me know specifically and perhaps i can offer some better advice. also - whenever it seemed that my son was tired - it was too late!! going to bed earlier actually always worked for us. his usual bedtime was about 6:30 at the latest - sometimes earlier! and he always slept better on the nights i put him to bed earlier.
It must be something about 10-month-olds! My daughter weaned herself at 2 years, but until she was about 18 months old, she nursed "all night" (3 times, usually, but up to 7!). Co-sleeping was the only option for us, and I loved it.
As others have pointed out, I would recommend trying to nurse lying down in your bed at his normal bedtime. I will also say, however, that my daughter would still fight for a good 30 minutes before she gave up. By "fight", I mean crawl around, climb on me, etc. We knew she was tired, but she really did NOT want to go to sleep. I would "fake" sleep, until she crawled to the edge of the bed, then I would gently lay her down beside me again. Over and over. Eventually she "got" that bedtime is bedtime - maybe 1 month later.
Your son may also be receptive to a Daddy-based nighttime routine at this time - he may still cry for many minutes, but maybe it would only be for a few days.
If you're looking for other options, I recommend the Dr. Sears Sleep Book. He lists about 30 ways to gently ease a baby into sleep.
Happy co-sleeping!
The same thing happened to me when my son was the same age. At first he was sleeping in his crib for naps and the pack and play bassinet at night right next to our bed. He would go down for naps pretty easily. He outgrew the pack and play quickly since he was a big baby so I would nurse him and then put him in his crib but when he woke up to nurse at night I would just keep him in bed with us. But at about 10 months (the more aware he got) he wouldn't go in his crib for anything. If I would try to get him to sleep first and then carry him in the crib he would always wake up and cry hysterically. I could not try the cry it out method so he sleeps in our bed for naps and every night. He's now 18 months. And every time like others said me or my husband have to lay down with him until he falls asleep and then we sneak out. We lay pillows on the sides so he doesn't roll out and we have a monitor on. I know a lot of people don't agree but it works for us.
