Need Advice Getting 6 1/2 Mo on a Nap/sleeping Schedule

Here is a great schedule that my daughter was on at 6 months. I was working, so that is why my daughter wakes up at 6:15.
6:15 6 oz bottle
8:00 breakfast (oatmeal/fruits)
9:00-10:30 Nap
10:30 6oz bottle
1:00-3:00 Nap
3:00 6 oz. bottle
6:00 dinner 6 oz bottle &(fruits/veggie baby food)
7:30 bedtime

first... please put BabyWise where it belongs. IN THE TRASH!

I am not at all against letting kiddos cry it out, but BabyWise is EVIL (in my opinion!)

I read so many books with my first baby who never slept, who always fussed, who made me feel like a crazy person, etc! I finally found one that made a difference THAT day, and changed not my baby's behavior but MY awareness of her needs. I hate recommending books about baby care, but The Secret Of The Baby Whisperer saved my relationship with my kiddo, my husband, and myself.

I also found a baby sling (slinglings.com has my favorite) made a difference. It allows me to hold a baby and still have 2 free arms.

Best of luck!

A., I am a babywise lover! It maybe hard to get started now but once your baby learns to fall asleeep by her self and take good naps you will be amazed. Make sure that you are doing the feedings right too. Giving her an idea of what is coming next will help, eat play sleep, eat play sleep....ect... the sleeping part is going to be the toughest. Try laying her down when she is tired and not asleep. Try not to let her get to tired, just when she gets a little whiny or rubs her eyes. If she crys for a while, go in and pick her up, for a minute, then lay her down again. Taking her out at this point just tells her that if she cries and holds out then you will come get her. So next time she will do it again. Another thing that is helpful is a crib thing with music and lights and motion. I have one with monkeys on it and my baby likes to look at it and then hes always asleep before its over. Good luck, just remember the first few days are hard, but it is worth it. I speak from experince, my older child had to always be held and put to sleep and never took naps, now that I know what I do, I am mad noone told me!

It depends on when she wakes up as to when she will be ready for that first nap...they say two hours after waking in the morning then three hours after waking in the afternoon. So if she wakes up at 7am, then the first nap should be at about 9am, and then if she wakes up about 10:30, then the next one should be between 1:30 and 2:00. She sounds to me like she is over tired and fighting the sleep…which is what is happening with my three year old right now who napped beautifully however when she was a baby.

6 mo is a pretty young for jusp to seperation anxiety. She may also be adjusting to you working form home...

Sleep is such a challenge. It is both developmental and learned, which makes it especially challenging to figure out when your child is developmentally ready to learn. Because, as we know with everything else, there are normal age ranges, but all children develop at their own rate.

I am with those that say that BabyWise may work for some babies, but probably isn't the best idea for most. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child worked well for me. There is a lot in there. There will likely be some crying, but one of the points it makes is that if you put your baby down at the right time - when she is tired but not over-tired, there won't be much crying. I find that to be true... but it takes a LOT of focused attention to read you baby's cues that well, however the guideline of two hours from the last waking point in the morning is a pretty good one... sounds like you might be putting your daughter down to soon if she's waking at 8 AM.

The same book says that there are short nappers and long nappers and nothing will make a short napper a long napper. My older daughter took 3 45 minute naps until she was much older (around 10 months or so). My younger daughter, who is coincidentally 6 months old, took longer, hour and 1/2 naps starting around 4 to 5 months. Recently they became short - around 1/2 hour again, and I noticed today she is cutting a tooth. I now expect that's the culprit, and we'll soon have longer naps again - until the next tooth.

To be honest, in my experience, with the developmental changes to sleep, and the addition of teeth and the occasional cold, the only thing you can count on is that things will only be predictable for a few weeks at a time at most and then something will change.

I don't think I could have worked from home with my older daughter. Some ages are better than others certainly, but things are always changing, so it's hard to count on anything. If you really need to make it work, you'll need to get creative, because nap times alone aren't likely to work. I would suggest getting a sitter to come in for some time, and also a baby carrier - the ergo will let them hang out on your back and in front, and on your hip, so you can work and hold her. And toys, toys, toys - an activity center, maybe sitting her up in her boppy near you on the floor with toys.

Good Luck!
A.

Sleep is so contorversial so I will just say what we did, as a mother of twins. It was very important to have our children on a sleep schedule (ie trying to get them to slep at the same time). This happend at about 4-5 months. A book we went by is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy CHild by Marc Weissbluth. The idea is that children/babies need sleep and that it is natural. The part that some children have trouble with is the "faling asleep" part and that this is sort of learned..thats wehere the crying lies. We all know that a child is happier, smarter, more loving when they have seep and it is our jobs to show them how to sleep or let them learn. So that being said, there will be crying. The book explains alot, sometimes difficult to follow but read and re-read. The idea is that crying it out will get less time and less time and usually the baby will fall asleep with in 15 minutes (still seems so so long) in about 4-5 days of crying it out. If one goes in at 20 minutes...they may have fallen asleep at 22 minutes and us going in has deprived them of sleep. We now have 2 very good sleepers, of course growth spurts etc change it.
Also, make a decision to not go in, say for 45 minutes (some say its ok to check and give a pat on the back and promtly leave, but our girl was just get really riled up)and try to stick to it. Babies sleep cycle is 45 minutes, so they sleep for 45 minutes or 1 1/2 hyrs usually. Gotta run, kids have been down for 1 1/2 sleeping! Best to you, K.

I've actually been advised against Baby Wise. It is a very parent driven schedule. If your kid happens to match that schedule great...if not, particularly with nursing kids you can miss feedings and disrupt their changing schedule. The first thing is to accept their "natural" schedule/rhythms change over the next 1 1/2 years. I recommend Elizabeth Pantley, "No Cry Sleep Solution." It covers the differnt sleep needs at different ages and is accepting of different options. "Healthy Sleep Habit, healthy Child." (different author) is interesting to read for the average sleep habits of differnt age kids and is definetely of the Cry It Out school. It doesn't give good examples hoe to work with individual cases...more about what patterns he found in studies. All that said my daughter was very similar to yours. Naps were always a problems and she wanted to be with us for a nap. Find what works. Everyone will tell you what "will" work. Realize if any method was THE method this wouldn't be such a popular topic. At your kids age I belive most kids average 3 naps a day and the first one can sometimes be fairly soon after waking. Separtion anxiety, teething, learning new skills and colds often seem to throw a schedule off so be patient. Hand in ther and I really enjoyed Pantley's book for a broad perspective.

I didn't start my 9 month old on a nap schedule until about 6 months. And like you, I had problems at first. It's very hard to listen to her cry that long. I would not let her cry for longer than an hour. My advice is to put her down for a nap about 2 1/2 - 3 hours after she wakes up in the morning. Let her nap for no longer than 2 hours. Then do the same again for the afternoon nap. I also found that a 15 - 20 minute walk in addition to nursing or feeding her right before naptime helps. "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" is a good read too.
Good Luck!

Hi there! We did babywise with our little girl when she was three weeks old. It IS hard at first, but if you keep up and be consistent you'll be amazed with the results. To be able to drop your baby in the crib with her binky (if you use one), turn around and walk away, listen to her talk to herself for awhile and then fall asleep makes you feel pretty accomplished. We also swaddled our daughter until she was 7 months! That part might be a little late for you, though.
Something that may help ease your daughter into the sleep routine is to use aides in the beginning. I know Babywise discourages any aides, but I truly believe it's helpful. When we were getting her used to self soothing, we would give her the boob or the bottle right before, just enough to fill up the belly and make her sleepy. Don't worry, you're not getting her used to it, she'll get to a point where she won't need a little extra filler.
I found that music helped a lot. I put an ipod in her room with soft sounds, like Sade, Enigma, lite R&B. It drowned out household noises....your girl is at the age where she wants to be with the family, and hearing you in other parts of the house makes her want to be with you instead of in her boring old crib.
We also used a smelly...wear a shirt or a piece of cloth until it smells like you, and put it in her crib with her. Your smell should comfort her.
I read some of the responses advising you against Babywise, and certainly, to each their own. It depends on the type of relationship you want to have with your child. Some people choose to center their lives around their child, opting for complete attachment. They like to respond immediately to their childs cries and needs. There are books supporting this style of parenting, by William and Martha Sears. If this is you, you'll really like their books...the Baby Book, the Attachment Parenting book, etc.
I personally chose Babywise because we liked the idea of integrating our girl into our lives. We do respond quickly to her cries and needs, depending on what they sound like. We don't jump at her every whine, no. Just because we let her cry it out a little (we're talking days) in the beginning, doesn't mean we love her any less than the parent who bolts to the crib for every sound. People would remark on what a happy baby we had....how lucky we are she's so good...how lucky we are she sleeps so well...it isn't luck, it's training. Because of the training, our daughter knew what to expect every day when she woke up and was perfectly happy with a consistent routine.
I think, however, no matter which method you choose, as long as you love your little girl as you do, she'll grow up a perfectly secure individual.
That's all I got for you....just don't give up, she'll get there! :)

Wow!! Alot of negative reactions to Baby Wise!! I used it with my daughter from day one (she's now 13 mos). It worked wonderfully for us. She began sleeping through the night at 7 wks (12-13 hrs at a time), and has continued to do so, with the exception of a couple times when she was sick, and woke up to vomit or something.
I realize that the author has no professional title and the AAP has put out negative warnings about these "methods", but if Baby Wise will work for you baby, it is certainly not "evil", especially if you've never given it a chance to work. I also like to think that as mothers, we are smart enough to realize what is good for our children and not let things get carried away :) I DO NOT recommend following Ezzo's "methods" past the firrst Bay Wise book however. Most of the recommendations are just too extreme for my family!
I would recommend giving it about a week or so (most definitely do not expect results after just one day), and just be consistent. I agree that the length of time your baby cried is a bit extensive, though. I would suggest next time keeping her up a little longer before putting her down. I truly believe that the routine described here does regulate baby's digestive system, and thus allows her to be more accustomed to the routine you 2 develop. I also suggest adapting Baby Wise a little if you feel the need to, it's important to keep in mind that no baby will fit a book to the T :)
Best wishes to you!!
A.

I totally agree with the Babywise book!! I have 2 babywise children, one is 3 1/2 years old and the other is 7 months old. Trust me it takes a WHILE to train them like this book suggests but it is WONDERFUL and I highly recommend it! Keep trying I have all in the series, Toddler wise, etc.. great books.

-M.

The book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems is very similar to the Baby Wise book regarding the schedule, but I thought it was much more thorough because it addresses what to do if the baby isn't following the schedule. I think it is also a gentler approach. I LOVE this book as both my kids have been sleeping through the night since they were 3 months. I don't have the book near me, but the schedule is something like eat, play, sleep. I think the activity is supposed to tire them out so they do sleep, and then you have time for yourself when they are asleep. If I recall correctly, at 6 1/2 months the baby should be on a 4 hour feeding schedule which means napping at around 2 hours after waking for 2 hours. There might be a short nap in the late afternoon (like 4-5 or 5-6) if it is needed. This schedule worked great for my kids, and I hope it works for you, too.

I suppose it's worth a try, but I know that with my kids I could never have managed working from home with them there. Perhaps if I'd had another set of hands during the work hours. But even then I couldn't concentrate when they were fussing. Even when the kids had pretty predictable naps, they were never anything I could bank on. Good luck though, I hope it works for you!

I have not tried Baby Wise so I cannot comment directly on that. But I would not recommend anything that lets you leave your 6 month old crying by herself for that amount of time. I don't want to be mean but that is absurd. I believe that letting your baby feel abandoned and alone for that amount of time is detrimental. I read a book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. This book uses a gentle and slow moving process that I think is right for the child... maybe not the easy way out for the parent.

It is important to remember that children are different. Some babies nap very naturally for long periods of time and others cat nap for several months of their lives. My daughter cap napped for the first 9 months and then started a very regular nap schedule with longer naps.

I wish you and your daughter the best when it comes to sleep.

Hi A.-
I am another "Baby Whisperer" advocate. It has really helped us with sleep issues as well as feeds & understanding our son's cues. I highly recommend it. There is also a website with boards that you can go to for help. babywhisperer.com

But whatever you do- just remember that consistancy is absolutely key.

Good Luck!

Hi A.,
I too work from home. My kids are 5 and 3. My son is an excellent napper. My daughter was never a good napper. It is very challenging to work from home. Most of my work occurs at night after the kids are in bed or on the weekend when dad is home. My kids are both in preschool at the same time for six hours a week too during which I work like mad.

Some children are just not strong nappers. I spend many months trying to change her. What really worked was when I admitted she wasn't a napper and made life fit around that...

Good luck.

Hi A. ~ I too had a daughter like this - and I did use the baby wise system. It took a little bit for my daughter to get accustomed to it, but it did work. I remember the first time that I left her crying in there, and it was horrible! She also cried non-stop for at least and hour and a half. I think that our little ones are a little bit strong willed! LOL!, but each day got better - and after about a month -everything was great! My daughter is now 5 years old, and I am very glad that I stuck with it. Even though it was difficult in the beginning, everything has worked out wonderfully! Good Luck, I now that it is difficult!

The first thing to doing a schedule, is not allowing short naps. Keep her up. Really at 6 1/2 months, two good naps a day is what my girls took. I wouldnt let them go down until maybe 10:30 then when she woke, I would feed her, and then do an afternoon nap at maybe around 130 or 2pm.

Remember, you are a mom, not superwoman. These things take time and acclimation (is that a word?)anyhow. I worked from home also. What I would do it bring her into my office, and I swear my best friend was the excersaucer, the one with all the toys. I would put her in it, and talk to her as I worked. She really learned to be self entertaining, when I needed her to be, but I always made sure to give her attention. It is a transition for both of you, so be patient with her, but also yourself.

Good Luck!!!

J.

Hi A., Just keep trying to put her down making sure the room is dark and put on a little soft music at loe volume.

Hi A.,
I too work from home while taking care of my 2 1/2 yr old daughter. I HIGHLY recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. I used this book to get my daughter on her biological sleep rhythm/schedule. He is an amazing pediatrician with TONS of experience is sleep and sleep disorders. I don't know what your daughter's sleep schedule has been so far so I'll tell you what my daughter's was at that age. I used the biological sleep rhythms Dr. Weissbluth talks about in his book as a guide. Paige woke up at 6:30-7am, morning nap at 9am, afternoon nap around 1pm, bedtime at 6pm. Bedtime was adjustable depending on how well she napped that day. Per Dr. Weissbluth, a restorative nap needs to be at least 1 hour. He stress the need for an early bedtime. I was a little skeptical until my daughter went right to sleep and slept all night! He says "sleep begets sleep" and it is SO true! At your daughter's age, she may still need to eat once or twice at night until 9 months. It is important to establish a reasonable nap routine and be consistent as this cues her for sleep. Her bedtime routine can be longer, but at the end of the routine, put her in bed and leave. I used what Dr. Weissbluth call a gradual extinction method which means if she cried I would wait 5-10 mins before I responded. Then I would rub her back until she calmed down and then left. If she started crying again, I waited 10-15 mins before responding. I continued waiting longer and longer until she fell asleep. To be honest, I tried the CIO method once but couldn't take it after 45 mins. The most important thing is to be consistent. Make sure you don't talk to her or make eye contact if you need to feed her at night as it may stimulate her. If you daughter is overtired, you may need an extra early bedtime until she is better rested. You know you have hit the timing right if she falls asleep within 30 mins of putting her down. We make sure Paige's room is dark and have a white noise machine to drown out other noises. As to sleeping in the stroller or swing, Dr. Weissbluth says it is best to have motionless sleep. It is important to teach your daughter the ability to go to sleep on her own and to fall back asleep at night when she wakes. If you want more info, email me. I think it is VERY important for children to get quality sleep and L. helping parents achieve this.
Sincerely,
L.

PS The AAP has given Babywise an F and warn parents against using the man's book. He has no medical experience.

Babywise is one the worst ways to get your child on a schedule, talk about stressful for your baby and you. Babies just want to be around their mommies, and at 6 months still not too old that she is trying to be spoiled or is trying to get her way, she just wants her mommy, especially if you have been working away from home and now she gets you to herself:-)She is too young to go through separation anxiety, she just wants to be held. I recommend putting her down at the same time everyday with the same routine. With my son, I give him lunch, read him a story and then darken the room and tuck him in bed and give him a kiss on the forehead. Each time he goes down, whether it is for naptime or bedtime I read him a story, darken the room, tuck him in and give him a kiss. This way he knows that it is time to sleep. At first he kept waking up and I would go in, and not pick him up, but reassure him that I was there by placing my hand on him and talking softly. It took a few times, but once he realized that reading a story, darkening the room, tucking him in and a little kiss meant time to sleep it was great. He needed to be cued that is was time to sleep. If your daughters being put down at different times, doing different things before you put her down, she may be to stimulated or not sure what is going on except why isn't mommy holding me. Babies thrive on routine so help her find hers. Good luck and don't give up, she will get on a routine, just be consistent.

I found the book The Sleepeasy Solution to be very helpful. Not only does it give you tips on sleep training (if you want to try that), but also the timing of naps based on your child's age. They also have a few sample nap schedules on their website--sleepyplanet.com I've found that if I follow the nap schedule (only 2 to 2 1/2 hours of awake time between naps for my son), he sleeps so much better! I've also read (and experienced) that naps can take longer to establish than nighttime sleep. It may take a month or so for babies to stretch their 30 minute catnaps to an hour or more.
Good luck!

My advice is to keep trying with the Baby Wise. Especially if you start at a little bit older of an age, it may take a week or so for her to really get used to the new routine. But once you get her used to going down for naps twice a day, at the same time every day, and eating on a regular schedule, she will come to understand what's going to happen next, and she'll stop fussing when it's naptime. You may find that 9:30 is too early to put her down for her morning nap - maybe 10 or 10:30 would work better? Then she'd wake up around 12 and would be ready for lunch. She can stay awake and play until 2 or 2:30 and then you can put her down for her afternoon nap. If you have been nursing her to sleep, she's used to that, and moving away from the eat-sleep-play pattern to eat-play-sleep will require a little bit of patience on your part, but it will be worth it.

Hang in there!

It sounds like the transition to your working may be part of what's going on, so I would try to avoid extreme changes for her. I know that a number of well-intentioned friends may recommend Baby-Wise, but that is literally the only book that our infant care class at an East Bay hospital warned us away from, so I'd caution you on following that advice. Crying for 1.5 hours also seems too long to me. A book that I've really liked is Pantley's The No Cry Sleep Solution. It doesn't necessarily stop the crying, but I learned so much than I knew before about really positive ways to encourage sleep. Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is also a big hit right now, also it's also not quite my cup of tea. I hope you can work this out! My baby has never been much of a day time napper, and it would get better and worse over periods of time. Finally, babies' sleep can get really disrupted when they're going through major cognitive or growth shifts, and that may also be going on. Keep loving her up!

By the way, the reason the hospital recommended against Babywise is that some mothers who newborns who followed the advice to start breastfeeding on a schedule very early ended up having babies who failed to thrive and then died. Very new babies need to feed on demand and if they don't get that, they can start sleeping more and more until they don't come out of it. It can seem like they're 'great sleepers,' but actually there's a huge problem going on. Sorry to be a bummer about this book, but that's what my very exprienced instructor told me. I know your baby isn't a newborn, but knowing this broader context really makes me question the entire book. Good luck!

A.,

First of all, you should know that your baby's sleeping habits are normal and healthy for her age. I agree about not using babywise. I also like the no-cry sleep solution and reading a book called our babies, ourselves helped me to understand an infant's needs from an evolutionary standpoint.

I always swore I would never co-sleep, but we did with our son and it was great. We all slept better. It is something you should definitely consider and a much more natural alternative than babywise. At naptime I would lie down with him and then eventually could get up when he was asleep. If you have a laptop, you could sit up in bed and work. We moved our son to a crib in his own room at about 12 months. He takes good naps and sleeps well at night now at the age of 2.

Just keep in mind, this time will pass and trust your instincts! Good Luck!

J.

What worked for getting my 6 mo boy to sleep at night and great nap schedule was The SleepEasy Solution by Spivak and Waldburger. Kind of like cry it out but he was putting himself to sleep (soothing himself) and on schedule within 3-4 days. The book also shows you how to wean night feedings, which my guy was weaned within 4-5 nights. Good luck to you.

I used Baby Wise and everyone I know who has used it swears by it...me included. I think you might have misunderstood the concept behind getting your child on a schedule. It really has nothing to do with metabolism, but rather routine and consistency. The baby sleeping is merely a part of the routine/schedule. And it's interesting how the principles in Baby Wise are the foundation and the building blocks for so many other things in a child's life. Hence the books that follow: Toddler Wise, Potty Training 1-2-3, Preschooler Wise, Child Wise, Pre Teen Wise, Teen Wise.

I would highly suggest giving Baby Wise another try and if you have questions about it's concepts you can go to: www.growingkids.org/contact/ and ask questions from trained Baby Wise professionals. Believe it or not, they actually teach class and seminars and have for YEARS.

Good luck!!