Ok, here goes sorry this is so long... I have an 8 year old son and his schooling and our home life has been very frustrating, it all started when he was around 3 at home we noticed that he wasn't like every other child i new something was wrong but him being my first child i didn't know how to react to his behavior. He could not play with other children at all he would hit them, slap them etc.. Well in school it started getting really bad when he got into second grade, i was being called to the school for meeting after meeting over his behavior. I have had him in theraphy since he has been 5 years old finally i was told by the principal that i either signed papers to have him put in an alternative setting or he would be repeating the second grade even though he had good grades. So i did it i was promised that we would see a change in his behavior and we sure have it has gotten 100% worse he is so out of control at school and at home that we can't do anything with him.. He is very mean to his little brother and little sister. He calls the staff names refuses to do his work never brings anything home etc.. Well me and his father is divorced we have been divorced since he was a baby and we have a wonderful relationship so now everyone is telling me that i should maybe try and left him live with his dad for awhile.. And the thought of him leaving me tears me to pieces. I have tried to get him out of the prgram that he's in because he has gotten worse but i was told that if i took him out before he completes the program in the alternative school that he will not be able to attend no school in his district.. I'am lost and i don't know what to do my family life is suffering and so is my son.. Any advice from anyone would be greatly appreciated.. He is on concerta 54 mg. and risperdole twice a day 0.25 mg and nothing is helping him we have tried everything we know here at home and can't help him he has a really good relationship with his stepfather and tends to listen to him more than me but that is going down hill also the older he gets the worse he is.
Please don't take offence (sp) to this but have you had him tested for Autisim? Alot of autistic kids act like that.
If you have not already done so you may want to get testing for various disorders. My nephew was FINALLY diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome when he was 8 years old. Aspergers (a form of autisim) is a social disorder. The children are often very bright, but they do not have typical social skills. This disorder can be very mild or more sever. Before then be was always getting into trouble. He had a hard time with his peers. Today he is in the 7th grade. He is not 100% better but he is doing well. He knows how to control himself better. Everyday is a work in progress. A correct diagnosis will allow you to treat your son in the best mannor.
Also, he may quify for an Individual Education Plan. With this you and he will have legal rights. The IEP is a legal document that protects the student's education rights. Yuo can get child advocates to help you fight any legal battles. You as the parent do not have to place you son anywhere you disagree with. There are experts out there that can help.
My mom has legal costudy of my nephew. She had faught for his rights and he is in a good program within a regular school. The public schools and her health insurance payed for the 2 years of residentail treatment at Child Help in Culpeper, VA....this was an awsome program where my nephew finally got the correct diagnosis after we took him off all meds. We started with square one.
Wow, I am so sorry! It might actually be worth trying to send him to live with his father for a while -- as hard as it may be for you. Sometimes a change of scenery can really have a strong effect on a child. I have seen this with some of my friends and it really helped. The key is that you must trust that his father will be a good disciplinarian and instill the values you want your son to have. Good luck to you, I know this must be so difficult.
I always say that no matter what happens, don't give up on your kids. I wouldn't send him off to live with his dad. I would think that would be seen by him as "giving up on him". If he wants to see his dad more then start off slowly, a night here and there....then a weekend. Big sudden changes aren't good for kids. I wish I could more advice but I haven't been in this situation. I would take him to different doctors/hospitals and let them know the issues. Evidently whats going on right now isn't working. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Best of luck!
I'm guessing based on the meds your son takes that he does have a dianosis of some sort? Have you tried changing his meds? My son will be nine in November and also takes Concerta. When we first started him on it four years ago we saw some of the behaviors you're describing and we lowered the dosage. That did the trick for us. The meds can cause aggression sometimes if the dose is too high or if it's just the wrong variety for your child. Also, what type of program is he in when you say "alternative"? I live in Henrico County, in the Far West End, and there are some awesome programs for kids with different needs. Does your son have an IEP and has the school had a team evaluate him? How is his behavior at school? Are they not seeing the same negative changes at school that you're seeing at home? Something doesn't sound right to me about them saying that your son won't be allowed to attend any other school in the district if you want him out of this program. As for sending him to live with his dad, I wouldn't make that choice until I'd exhausted every other option becuase it could make things much worse unless it's what your son wants to do.
How much does he go to counseling? I have seen quite a few of kids like this. He needs to be seen by a pschcoligist and get his meds changed because they aren't working. Also, at least for the rest of the year, send him to his dad's house with the understanding to him it is not a punishment. Does he like the program he is in? That also might be a problem. Could it also be that your husband is not his father and in a resentment because of it? Where does his father live, how far from you?
