Need Advice on Frustrating Teacher/How to Help My 2Nd Grader

Updated on November 30, 2008
R.M. asks from Pittsburg, KY
41 answers

Last week I met with our youngest daughter's teacher. Our daughter is 7 and in the 2nd grade. One of the common issues we shared with the teacher was that we didn't think she was bringing home her homework. I also questioned ADD behaviors I had seen at home (our one son has ADD and the other ADHD) and found out she has them at school too. During the parent teacher conference I explained to the teacher that our daughter sees a psychiatrist for anxiety/depression and she's on medication for that as well and at her next appointment (first week in Dec) we would be talking about ADD meds. When I asked the teacher how to help my daughter remember/realize what her homework is, the teacher said she could assign her a study buddy through Christmas, another student to make sure she brings home her homework. The only suggestion I had probably wouldn't work because it's using a planner and she's only 7. The teacher then complained about taking class time to teach 2nd graders organizational skills that she felt they should have already. Today the teacher e-mails me because my daughter's desk was cleaned out by the assistant in the room and there were several unfinished worksheets, she wants to know if my daughter has always behaved like this and that if she didn't start doing her work that she would not go to 3rd grade next year. Ever since our conference I have printed worksheets in the areas that my daughter had low test scores in. We are parents that want our children to succeed. Now I feel like we're the one's who will be teaching her instead of supplementing what she is learning at school because I feel like the teacher just thinks she's a bad kid.
Any advice to help my daughter learn some new habits, become better organized or suggestions to help her remember her homework assignment clearly and to bring it home would be greatly appreciated. As well as advice on dealing with this difficult teacher.

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

It's been about 2.5 months since I requested help. Your suggestions were very much appreciated. My daughter's psychiatrist diagnosed her with ADD and added a medication that will not only help with the concentration issues but also her depression and anxiety. We have supplemented things at home and we have noticed a major change in her classroom behavior. I think it's sad though that the teacher is so relaxed in helping her. At any rate, things are moving along well and my daughter is improving. Thankfully this year is almost over and next year we will move on to another teacher, hopefully one who is much more helpful.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

I.N.

answers from Raleigh on

I'd get her in a different classroom. Doesn't sound like her teacher is very good at her job.

I have a disorganized 2nd grader, too. My kids (and their whole school) have daily folders for homework- one side for completed work to keep at home and the other side for stuff they are working on- and weekly folders- for school and class announcements, permission slips, etc. The teachers direct the kids to put things in their folders at certain times. They all do it together. It works well for my 2nd and 3rd graders. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.S.

answers from Hickory on

Talk with the principal about what the expectations on a 2nd grader should be. I think the teacher sounds unreasonable, but somebody with more authority in her life needs to think so too. Consider asking for a switch to a different classroom and teacher if you can't get resolution.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.J.

answers from Raleigh on

I had similiar issues with public schools. The school system is TOTALLY different now from when I was in school.
I changed my sons school. I looked into charter schools and found that they work better. They have higher test scores and smaller settings. Also, I drop in several times during the week and keep in touch with the teacher. I know most people don't agree with rewarding kids for doing things that they are supposed to do anyway, but I found what he loves and he is rewarded with that on a weekly basis. Not judging, but... Is your home organized? If not, that may help her as well. Teaching her how to be more organized at home will carry over in school. Getting her the seperator folders to put in her notebook labeled homework etc., We as parents have to find what works with our children. We know them better than the teacher does.

Blessings

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.R.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

My only suggestion would be to give your daughter daily responsibilities at home (small ones)as well as at school to help her develop a routine of what needs to be done each day. Make it very clear, like a checklist on a posterboard so it's not easily forgotten. It sounds like the teacher is willing to work with you as far as suggesting a "study buddy." However, I do think she's a little harsh in saying that a second grader should have organizational skills. My 3rd grade son forgets things frequently, yet is a top student. The only way he knows what to do for homework each day is because his teacher prints out a sheet on Monday with all the assignments that are due during the week. We keep it on the refridgerator, or it would surely be lost! If it seems like you aren't getting anywhere with the teacher, then you should call and set up a conference with the principal and whoever else is involved in helping her and then you can all decide the best plan to move forward.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from Memphis on

I had a few issues with my daughter's teacher last year as well. She was farely new in teaching and didn't seem to have the patience needed to work with children...my daughter told me all the time that the teacher seemed mad at them a lot. When we moved, I had to enroll her in another school. The new teacher was great and my daughter did wonderful with the transition as well as her grades improved tremendously! Would they allow you to change teachers? That seemed to make a difference for us. She's in 3rd grade now and still doing very well. In fact, she records her homework assignments in a planner that I check every day. It works! I wish you all well.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.O.

answers from Parkersburg on

First of all, you are a great mother and some teachers can just be so difficult. I am a school social worker and these are common issues, so don't feel bad! It's wonderful that you are so involved, and that's half the battle. Things I have suggested to families with children that are ADD and have trouble with organization...Your daughter can have 2 pocket folders, label one for homework to take home and when the homework is completed, put it in her 2nd folder labeled to turn in. Or use one folder and put homework to be completed on one side and finished homework to turn in to the teacher on the other side. As she gets older and has more subjects, she can have a different color folder for each subject so it's easier to keep track of. Also, many teachers will send a notebook/journal back and forth with the parents through the student. So, have the teacher or your daughter write down her school assignments and the teacher will need to sign it. The teacher can also write anything in regards to behavior, good or bad, etc. Then, when your daughter brings home the notebook/journal, you will sign off on it, too. That way the teacher knows you saw what she wrote. It's a great way to keep communication. Hope these tips help! And keep up the great work in being involved with your children :)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.K.

answers from Jacksonville on

As a former 3rd grade teacher I can tell you that kids come into 3rd grade with very little organizational skills and this teacher expecting your daughter to be as organized as explained isn't developmentally appropriate. This being said, a planner is a perfectly acceptable form for remembering homework in 2nd grade. A 2nd grader has the skills to write the few words required in a planner. As a teacher I had parents in similar circumstances ask that I look at their childs planner at the end of every day to make sure all assignments are written down. I would initial the planner to show that I looked at the planner and that what was written down was accurate. I then helped the child put the homework in a folder and watched them put it in their backpack. I called my homework folder a LEAP (Linking Education And Parents) folder and any papers to go home or come back to school went in 1 folder to ensure parents and teachers received all necessary papers. I will caution that the end of the school day is very hectic and the teacher may be hesitant to sign a planner; however, you have a right to insist on this. This simple procedure only takes a minute away from the end of the day. If the teacher still refuses see the principal, it is the principal's job to ensure all her students are given the right to learn and the teacher is inhibiting this.
In addition, look into having your child put on an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) where your wishes can be written into a contract.
Finally, I find that lack of organizational skills is a completely inappropriate reason to hold a student back. It can be difficult to judge how a student is achieving if they're missing lots of assignments in upper grades, but most assignments should be done in school in 2nd grade.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.M.

answers from Raleigh on

My son is only two so I don't have any real life experience. Have you tried telling teh teacher that you feel that she is neglecting some of her duties? It's our job as parents to SUPPORT what our children are learning in school, not to teach it ourselves. If it were, we'd all homeschool. If the teacher doesn't respond, I would talk with her superior. She doesn't sound like she's doing her job.

I interpret for a lot of elementary schools and one of the BIGGEST pushes right now that teachers are doing is teaching kids organizational skills. All second graders that I have seen have planners. They write their homework in there and the teacher signs off on it at the end of the day. I would talk to her about it and go over her head if you don't see results.

Your daughters trouble in school could be related to the teacher and not necessarily your daughter.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.D.

answers from Knoxville on

I'm sorry you're dealing with a difficult teacher. It can be really difficult and I hope the relationship improves. I think it's great that your daughter will have a study buddy, but while she has this extra help, she needs to learn skills that will help her when she no longer has help. I disagree with the teacher that 2nd graders should already have organizational skills. My daughter is in the 3rd grade and was introduced to a planner this year. It is a school-wide thing that all students get a planner beginning in the 3rd grade. This is the first year that she was expected to keep up with her work and not be reminded what's for homework. One suggestion: Can the teacher write assignments (or what they did/are doing that day) on the board in one spot (the same spot everyday). This doesn't take up much room and isn't hard to do. Then you're daughter can reference it if she has a question. You daughter won't be the only one who benefits from this. I am a former teacher (hs) and my students needed this too and they were in high school. Then your daughter will have to make it a habit to reference the board everyday. Also, maybe your daughter can have a folder dedicated to homework that she brings home everyday (even if there isn't any that day). My 3rd grader does not have ADD issues but has organizational issues and this has helped her remember. Her teacher does not remind her what's for hw--and anything she doesn't finish is for hw. I know that I benefit from doing things right away otherwise I forget! haha I told my daughter to put unfinished work in the hw folder as soon as they change subjects. This has helped a lot (once she got used to doing it). The biggie is to form habits for her that will help her. Learning these skills now will benefit her for life. As for the teacher, I would continue to communicate with her (as non-confrontational as possible). If she continues to be difficult, you will need to bring someone else into the picture (i.e. counselor, principal, etc.). She just may be feeling overwhelmed (which is no excuse) and not wanting anymore work. But when you really look at this these are simple things that she can do and really don't take much time at all. Good luck! I hope this resolves in the best interest of your daughter.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Jacksonville on

I agree with Dawn.
Document everything you have done and are doing and go to the principal.
My 2nd grader has an agenda and it is signed everyday and it has a behavior code in it so I know how he is behaving that day. I have to sign it at night. The homework is written on the board and the kids copy it down.
2nd graders are inherently unorganized. THese are little kids and her telling you that she should "have this down" is dead wrong. Children have to be taught to organize their belongings.
I would tell the teacher that you are going to the principal and guidance counselor and discussing this with them. THen maybe ask them if their is a different teacher that would be a better fit for your daughter.
Be proactive. An IEP is an Individualized Education Plan that requires the teacher to do certain things for your daughter, like help her write down her homework and send it home. Furthermore if there is an assistent in the room what is her deal? Sounds like her expectations are too high for 2nd grade.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.B.

answers from Raleigh on

Most 2nd graders I know need help learning and retaining organization skills. What most teachers don't or won't realize is that each teacher has very different expectations for organization and what our child learned last year doesn't necessarily hold true for this year. What child hasn't hidden an unfinished worksheet in their desk:) With my two younger children, both boys, while they are in elementary school. I make a point to volunteer in the classroom every 2-3 months and while there I made them clean out their desks. At this age most teachers hold a clean the desks session at least bi-monthly just to keep things organized. This teacher is probably a young teacher with unrealistic expectations since she hasn't been teaching long enough to have a reality check.

I used to share information about our children with the teachers freely, however under the guidance of my husband, I've learned that they are on the need to know basis. Most teachers will use the information to help your child, but until you know this teacher well, then don't share personal information concerning you child. There are some teachers who will take this information and use it against your child to defend their wrong attitude.

Hope this helps, A. B., Hillsborough, NC

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.C.

answers from Nashville on

First of all you have every right to be upset with the teacher. Her job is to make sure that all the children have their assigments in their backpack to take home. If she doesn't want to do it she could get her assistant to do this task. I am sure your daughter is not the only one in this situation if you ask around to the other Moms. As for the planner and her being too young that is nonsense. My grandchildren, 1st and 2nd grade, go to a public school in a small town and each of them has a planner (the teacher provided) and each day they copy their assignments in the planner and when the homework is finished their parents sign the planner on that day to assure the teacher they are doing their homework. They are taught they will get stickers and rewards for the planner being signed so you know they have it done. They also have folders (one marked take home work and the other marked last week in review. Week in review comes home each Monday and the parents sign the completed work inside and return and the take home folder comes home every nite with notes, dates of events; such as pictures, news, activities and homework inside. It also has the calendar of events inside that is replaced each month. Maybe you could ask her about this system. It really works well. My granddaughter has joint custody with her Mom and Dad and this keeps everyone up to speed on her accomplishments and what needs to be completed each and every day. You cannot expect a child in the 1st grade to be completely responsible for all that homework teachers send home. Your child may just be frustrated and overwhelmed with the level of responsibility the teacher is putting on her. Hope this may help! Your teacher needs to be more compassionate of her students and parents!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.M.

answers from Chattanooga on

My son has a teacher who sounds a lot like your son's. I would have to come in once a week during school hours and gather up all his work, reading and clean out his desk. His teacher not only disliked this, but hated it, she does not want any parents in her classroom at ALL. I once asked her if she could help my son for 5 minutes a day to gather up his stuff and get it into his backpack, she absolutely refused, yet I could not come in and do it myself, except for that once weekly trip. I decided that I would just stop coming in, and maybe she would get the hint. It took 1 week for her to realize that without me coming in to gather stuff, his work and the stuff that needed signing would not get done. She started helping him out every day, and after ONE week of her helping him, he started doing it on his own. Ask the teacher if she would just give your daughter ONE week of her time FIVE minutes a day just to help her organize and get into the swing of things, I bet that just that SHORT amount of time will greatly help you daughter's forgetfulness.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.M.

answers from Jacksonville on

We also struggle with this.

I did not take enough of a proactive stance with my 7th grader early on. So now this is how we are taking care of it.

1. I look through her backpack everynight and help her organize her papers into the correct folders.
2. I have asked each of her 6 teachers to send home a progress report every Friday. (If homework is not done or work is missing she is on restriction for the weekend)
3. She has been using an agenda since 2nd grade also. I check that every night. If she doesn;t have something written down (even none) for every class she has to put a quarter into our family donation jar for each class she didn't write something for.
4. I would have another parent /teacher conference and ask the teacher if she is willing to give you her home number (some will) and talk w/you once a week about where your daughter is struggling. Also ask who she would recommed to tutor in that area.
5. We also have a tutor in math.

These 5 steps have made a huge difference in my daughter in the a 2 week time period.

God Bless!
K.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.C.

answers from Charlotte on

As I read your frustrations, the primary thing that struck me as odd is that your child's teacher would think it is a waste of time to teach 2nd graders organizational skills. My children (I also have 4) have been provided with planners and homework folders from their school since they were in kindergarten. Each grade's planner is appropriate for that grade level. My 2nd grader writes her assignments in the planner each day and places her homework sheets in the folder. My husband or I am supposed to sign the planner each day to indicate that we've seen her work. The planner is also used as a method of communication between parents and the teacher. Depending on your child's reading level, you could tape a list on her classroom desk that includes everything she is supposed to do when she arrives at school (ex. unpack backpack, place homework in appropriate location, put lunchbox in appropriate place, etc.) and then another list that includes everything she is supposed to do when she is packing up to leave for the day. (This has worked well for a friend of mine who's daughter had the same kind of issues.) You might could even ask the teacher to email you each day with the homework assignment. She might decide that it would be less time conusming to begin teaching organizational skills to 2nd graders. As a very busy mother you know how important these types of skills are. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.W.

answers from Charlotte on

Wow this sounds so much like my daughter last year. Her teacher expected them to act so much older then they were capable of. My daughter has a late birthday so she is the youngest in her class all the time, which adds maturity issues. The planner actually did start to help once she got the hang of it, I won't kid you it took time and me working with her. You said that there is an assistant in the room. Would it be out of the question for her to help your daughter for 5 minutes a day, to write down what she needs, and then remind her at the end of the day to make sure she has everything. As the year goes on your daughter will get used to doing it and require less help. If her teach is unwilling to do even that much for your daughter I would go to the principle. I am not big on this tactic, but I know I had to do it on a number of occasions last year. There are times that the administration is not aware of a problem, also they may have other suggestions. I know my daughters' principle has been in schools for like 35 years or close to, and she had some ideas that I had not thought of, and a different point of view. Good luck, I feel your frustration. Just remember you are not alone and your daughter is very lucky to have a mom that loves her so much.

A.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.J.

answers from Lexington on

You've already received a great deal of good advice, and I will just add a few words to that. My children have always had homework folders and/or planners, throughout their school years. My youngest is in 8th grade and at the beginning of the year he received a pre-printed planner from the school (with important school information included).

I taught high school a few years ago and I always wrote the assignment on the board and made sure every student had written it down as well. I even made special arrangements, with a few scattered-brained students, to let their parents know about major assignments. And my 15-year old's teachers let me know when he's missing major assignments also. He recently met with one teacher to make up some of his work.

Your daughter's teacher doesn't seem to understand the needs of a second-grader. It may be time to go to the assistant principal.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.P.

answers from Charlotte on

Dear R.,

I know this is tough. All 3 of my children have ADHD, but my daughter is the hardest. Not only does she have the ADHD, but also anxiety/depression and is treated for bipolar disease. She is my only child to have problems at school. My first step would be to get her diagnosed and on the ADHD med immediately. Adderall XR worked well, but Concerta seems to be better as it lasts 12 hours to cover the homework time. Then get help from the school, not just the teacher. See if she qualifies for extra help in the classroom or an IEP plan. This would force the teacher to address the problem. So many teachers just don't want to deal with special needs kids. Between getting your daughter extra help, plus meds, you could very well see a difference. She'll be able to focus better and get more organized. Also my children were provided planners BY THE SCHOOL in 2nd grade to teach them organizational skills. It's not just your daughter, but a strange teacher. Pawning off your daughter to another 2nd grader for a study buddy? How effective is that? I have to go through my daughter's book bag daily also.

Hopefully this might help. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.B.

answers from Louisville on

R.,
Our school requires all of the kids (including second grade) to use a planner. To be honest I wouldn't know how to keep track of homework without it. Even if she had a notebook that she could write her assignments in it as they are assigned it would help and it wouldn't take time from your teacher. I disagree with her saying that they should already have organization skills. Obviously the school isn't teaching them and they should be. Good luck :)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.W.

answers from Memphis on

In the school my youngest son attends, they set the children up with a 1 inch binder containing 2 pocket folders, notebook paper and an agenda book. The folders are folded backward so that the pockets are always out. They are held together with clear contact paper (with the pocket being cut back opened) and hole punched so the spine is out. The pockets are marked "Homework", "Important Notes", "Money", and "Misc". Notebook paper is added so they have paper to do any homework without having to bring home alot of different folders or notebooks. The agenda book is so they have what they need to do for homework, or important things to remember with them at home. The teachers have the homework on the board at the beginning of the day so the students have time to write it all down. The agenda book is broken down like a planner, with a section for each subject for each day. As the child gets in the older grades the same basic set up is used, but instead of folders, pocket dividers are used for each class. My stepson had problems with organization, until we put this method to use. He is now in the 8th grade and doing fine, but it took us getting his teachers to help with the binder. The teacher has to make an effort. They need to give time for the child to put incompleted papers in the "Homework" folder. Once using the binder becomes habit, many of the problems will work out, including some of the fustration with the teacher.

I hope all works out for you and your daughter.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.T.

answers from Raleigh on

To me it sounds like you need to have a meeting with the teacher and maybe an assistant principal. It sounds as if lazieness is involved on the teachers part. My child is in kindergarton and uses a planner. Now the teacher is the one writing in it but it is to help us as parents make sure the child gets all homework done and also to inform us about behavior. As far as the homework not being brought home....I think that all kids are scatter brained (for lack of a better term) when it is the end of the day and they just want to get out of there. The teachers and assistants get paid to make sure these things happen. I feel even my 14 yr olds need to be reminded of this sometimes. They actually get reminded at the end of the day by their teacher. So for her to say she is behind on orginational skills is crazy. I know teachers dont get paid a bunch of money but they do get paid to do what they know. They dont go in blind folded and say well I dont know what I am getting into. Maybe the teacher needs a wake up call and you may just be the one to give it.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.C.

answers from Hickory on

Oh, R.,

What a frustrating deal!! For some perspective, my son, age 15 also with ADHD, is only now, as a sophomore in high school, getting his homework done and back to school and that is with THREE teachers looking over his shoulder!!! This is the first year I have not been at the helm tracking homework and materials to help him get his work done. I am convinced that kids will do what they can do when they can do it and our job is to offer them support and every opportunity to get there.

Perhaps you could get together a team of teachers/staff to help you out. We got a team (principle, counselor, reading team teacher and primary teacher) together for our 5th grade daughter when she was in a bit of a crisis, seeing a psychiatrist, and trying medications. It really helped to present our insights and questions to all who might come into contact with her (and BEFORE they would for any difficulties) and with everyone there, the negative minded teacher got some different perspectives FROM HER PEERS and we didn't have to push it!

Also, your daughter qualifies for an IEP (Individual Education Plan) or its first cousin a 504 plan in which you and school staff identify her issues and appropriate interventions to help her. See your school counselor to set this up. You have identified her issue early and it is important to get on it...and stay on it. The school does not necessarily have the incentive to make it work, so you are your daughter's best advocate. This makes it official and the school MUST follow the IEP/504.

Personally, I think it is precisely the teacher's job (especially in the 2nd grade) to make sure the students get their homework home AND in the next day. A parent's job is to see that the student gets it done. I think we need to do all we can to make sure our kids are getting the chance to get their work done, and NOT to let ADHD stand in the way of their learning.

Best of luck to you,
H.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from Charlotte on

A study buddy is fine but the teacher or teacher assistant needs to make an effort to see that she writes down her homework and makes sure that she brings home the materials needed to do all homework at the end of the day. If your child has and agenda (like most schools do), the teacher should write the homework on the board and tell the children to copy the assignments in her agenda. If your school does not have agendas then I would purchase her a small notebook and make sure that she writes down her assignments. I would even have the teacher or assistant to initial it every day to make sure that everything is written down. She will get in the routine of doing this and it will begin to be her routine at the end of the day. The teacher needs to understand that she is a special needs child and should be willing to help you with this. If the teacher/assistant is not willing to help, then she is not a very good teacher. Hope this helps!!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.R.

answers from Raleigh on

I definately would not expect a 7-year-old to be organized. I'm 38 and still have problems in organization. I think it may be the teacher who has the organization problem. They found several unfinished worksheets in your daughter's desk? Why didn't they know about them sooner? Does the teacher keep a grade book and know when assignments are turned in? Maybe a pocket folder to put homework assignments and graded papers in would be a good idea for your daughter. That way, everything is in one place and you know exactly where to look for anything that needs to be worked on. I would also keep the graded papers until the end of the year (or end of the grading period) to compare to her grades to her pass/fail reports. This teacher sounds a little off kilter. I would want to be able to back up my claim of the daughter's progress. As for the study buddy, she's passing the buck. I understand that teachers have a lot to do, but to put this off on another kid sounds unfair to both students. She can just remind the whole class to put the worksheets/homework in the take-home folder.
HTH

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.D.

answers from Raleigh on

Maybe you need to tell the school that she needs an IEP (individualized educational plan). You could have your doctor write a letter recommending it if they agree. Then helping with organizational skills could become part of the IEP and if this teacher cannot help along those lines, see about switching her to a different teacher. Maybe this teacher is burned out.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

My son is in first grade and his homework comes home in the same folder every night, with the same reading/writing assignments every night of the week (they are listed in the folder, with that paper changed weekly), and a math sheet every night. I am trying to teach him to be responsible by staying out of it as much as possible. He is motivated by his success, and is learning to be responsible for himself. Also included in the homework folder is a daily chart for their behavior, which the parents must initial. We know exactly how well they behaved, or not. He is motivated by this as well. If he does not complete assignments in class, then he does not get to go to "centers", so that motivates him. Occasionally his teacher will send home incomplete assignments for him to finish.

I am still developing my philosophy on all this, but I tend to value the advice and opinions of John Rosemond, a leading child psychologist and author. He has a lot of books, including Ending the Homework Hassle, and John Rosemond's Six Point Plan for Raising Happy Healthy Children. They are infinitely valuable for raising capable, independent, responsible, future adults.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.H.

answers from Nashville on

R.,

You are faced with a difficult situation but nothing is impossible. My children's schools have websites that link to each teachers page which I look at frequently. It has a calendar, homework assignments, things that are coming up and a link to email the teacher directly.
Teachers typically have 17+ children so often it IS more difficult and frustrating to them to give the extra attention to those children with special needs.

I agree with one of the responses regarding the special ed or resource programs. I suggest you request your daughter receive an evaluation by an Occupational Therapist. The OT can help your daughter cope with the anxiety, depression and ADD behaviors as well as provide support and education to the teacher on the best methods to interact and teach your child. The OT of course will meet with you on the plan, IEP, and assist you with recommendations for the home as well.

Most schools also have homework hotlines these days. You can call them daily as well.

Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.M.

answers from Charlotte on

My daughter has ADHD and is in 3rd grade in public school. She takes medication which has helped her tremendously. Because of her diagnosis she has an IEP or Individual Education Plan in place with the school, and there is a meeting every year with her teacher, a special resources teacher, and an administrative person. We go over what accomodations my daughter needs in class, etc. There are rules that they have to follow in regard to my daughter, and there isn't any one person who could decide she wouldn't go on to the next grade, or decide how to help her in the classroom. Your daughter's teacher sounds like she is uneducated about ADD/ADHD and you might ask your daughter's doctor to give you some information for this teacher. However, I would think there would be a system in place at her school independent of her teacher to deal with this. Ours has a Parent's Rights handbook informing us of what our daughter is entitled to in her school system, and I've had nothing but good things to say about all the help and support they have given her. I would definitely bring your concerns about your daughter's teacher to the school administration because a teacher who thinks a child is bad because they have ADD is an uneducated teacher, and she won't treat your daughter well. Most 2nd graders, let alone kids with ADD, are in the process of learning organizational abilities and will continue to do so for many more school years, so this teacher isn't realistic about her expectations. Go over her head and get help for your daughter.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.M.

answers from Fayetteville on

I agree with the others. 2nd grade is where my children started working on agendas and writing homework down etc... and it has continued into 3rd grade (to be honest my 13 year old still doesnt' have great organizational skills). The teacher may be overwhelmed with her class and if so I would request another teacher that can/will work with you. Last year our teacher emailed me to let me know what she had so I could check to see if she brought it home and completed it. We worked together on helping her get better organized and it continues this year in 4th grade. I also agree that she needs an IEP that will help her thoughout school and although her test/grades may not reflect she probably is gifted and mot schools start with those programs in 3rd grade.
Keep fighting for what is best for your child.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.M.

answers from Louisville on

your daughter sounds like me. i just didnt care. i was diagnosed with add only to find out later it wasnt that i had add but i just didnt care and this continued on through highschool where i dropped out 2 weeks in my jr year. im not trying to scare you but if shes anything like me their is really nothing you can do just keep trying to work with her

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.A.

answers from Clarksville on

HI R.,

I am not sure if I can be of assistance, It sounds to me that the teacher is not willing to help you with making sure that your daughteris bringing home homework, Kevin my 10 yr old grandson has some of the same issues, when he was in 3rd grade the teacher send home daily inforamtion on his homework, one suggestion I would have would be to spend a day with your daughter in the classroom and observe her and the teacher interaction, secondly, if the teacher is not willing to help you and give you help to help her remember her homework, or get a planner, then here are some things you can do.

Talk to the principal and explain what is going on and find out if there is anything that can be done as far as the school goes. If he/she is unwilling to help, go to the district office. Maybe you can ask if she can be switched to a different classroom with a more patient teacher and somebody who understands kids with ADD/ADHD. These teachers seem to not have patients for kids and not wanting to help them be successful. She sounds just like my grandson's teacher. We went up to the principal and he is being changed to a different teacher after thanksgiving. But in 4th grade, they do have planners.

A few more things are: talk to the psychiatrist and tell him what is going on in the classroom and then ask him/her about an IEP for your daughter(Implemented Education Plan) or ask the school. This causes the psychiatrist, principal, teacher, school counselors and everybody to get together to make a plan to help your daughter be successful in the class. This also includes a planner for homework assignments.

All the teacher really needs to do is take 5 minutes in the morning and write down what the homework will be for the day and then the kids write their homework in the planner, on a piece of paper or something and then she brings it home to you to sign or whatever so you know that she got it done.

IF the teacher won't cooperate and is not willing to help you, I would go to the principal and find out what she suggests or maybe talk to her on the phone. Tell her exactly what you wrote on here. Tell her that this teacher is not a bad teacher, but you aren't sure she was matched with your child correctly and you need somebody that will help her be successful not hinder her. It's not fair if the teacher is not willing to help and she can't hold back your child for this being the teacher's fault.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.S.

answers from Charleston on

Your situation sounds like ones I have heard over and over. Child has a learning disability or difficulty and teacher basically writes them off as a problem kid or just to much work to deal with. If I were you I'd homeschool her. Then YOU will know exactly what she is learning and what she isn't. There is no one else that will love your child like you love her. And there isn't anyone else that will care about her education like you will.

Good luck and God Bless!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.C.

answers from Greenville on

I am actually a 2nd grade teacher and can offer some ideas that I have used in my classroom for some children. I have put a small note on the corner of their desk remind them at pack up time to put homework in their bags. It simpy states "pack homework". As far as what the assignment is; the best thing is for the teacher to do a homework contract. This is a list at the beginning of the week of the homework for the whole week. This also contains the spelling words on it so the kids keep up with it a little better. This stays in the homework folder. Aside from that it took a little extra effort from me as the teacher to check their folder every afternoon. There is nothing wrong with you asking the teacher to do this.
In second grade one of the biggest things they learn is how to be independent. They do not come to us this way and at this stage in the game not all of them already do these things. I hope that helps.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.D.

answers from Raleigh on

Is your child in Ms. Whitaker's class at Holly Springs Elementary by any chance? Just curious...I had the same problem with her last year! Unfortunately, I don't have any suggestions, because I am dealing with the same disorganization issues with my son, but I can tell you, I know what you are going through. Last year was an absolute nightmare, and the longer it goes on, the more you will want the school to do something about the teacher...good luck with that, because everyone you will talk to will chalk it up to a lack of communication between you and the teacher! All I can say is we struggled the entire year last year, but this year, he has an excellent teacher! She works with him and holds him accountable for his work. She also communicates with me on a regular basis, which is great! It is sad to me to know that because of shortages in teachers, some of the ones that are teaching our children aren't educated as to certain behavioral disorders and seem to only be there for the paycheck. The other thing, is they get overlooked if they aren't disrupting the class. It doesn't seem to matter as much if they don't do their work, as long as they sit there and be quiet...Good Luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.R.

answers from Knoxville on

When I took anxiety/depression medication it made me very forgetful.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.L.

answers from Louisville on

Your story sounds exactly like mine when my son went into first grade. We always knew he would have to be put on medication for his ADHD but we had such a wonderful kindergarten teacher that we did not have to put him on anything. Difficult teachers to me just want allthe children on meds. That is my personal feelings. Maybe your best route to go just to help your daughters self esteem is to put her on medication for the ADD. You can not get away from how the teacher reacts if she is doing what you are saying. Once we put my son on the meds his teacher turned around and thought my son hung the moon and never had another problem out of his teacher the rest of the school year. Plus I do not know what state you live in but if your child is diagnosed with ADHD in certain states NO teacher can hold them back, it is up to the PARENT to request it. I hope my opinion helps, let me know if you want any other details on how I have handled difficult teachers, thank the Lord I have only had 2 out of all 3 of my chilren so far and mine are 11, 9 & 8. Some teachers just do not care about the students. Is there any way that you could request a classroom transfer? just a suggestion.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.R.

answers from Charlotte on

This is the problem with ADD and bad teachers. You have to learn how to be an advocate for you child. I would make an appointment with the principal. I would tell her that you are concerned about how you can communicate with this teacher that it is her responsibility to to help your daughter and that she should or previous teachers should have seen this problem and recommended her for testing. My daughter came home from school everyday crying in the 2nd year. I found out that the teacher was not re-hired for the next year. Apparently, other parents complained. I did not. I am glad that I had a personal counselor for my daughter who pushed me for my daughter to be tested. That 2nd grade teacher complained about her behavior, but when I asked to have her tested the teacher said oh she is doing so much better now. The school counselor said she was always on task whenever she was observed. Everything is fine. The psychologist my personal counselor sent me to said the you think she shows signs of ADD. The only way you will know is to try the medicine. I did. The first day after medicine she came home and said "Mom i can hear what the teacher says now". She used to say, "I am listening to what she says but I just can't hear her". good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.M.

answers from Charlotte on

i too have a child with adhd,bi-polar,add and ccc..he had problems in school also, not only with homework or class work, but it was also the teachers were basically using it against him that he had the problems, so everything he ever did he was picked on about it..there was always some kind of an excuse..i always said that it was only because the teachers didnt wanna deal with the problem child like ours..come to find out i seriously have to believe it now because we moved into another school district and my son went from being a problem child to a straight A honor roll student..the teachers have to learn to deal with the child as well..its their job while they r in school..they dont like to so they give all sort of reasons to blame the child..all i have to suggest is really put ur foot down with the school..the school board or something, also they have classes in schools now to help children with behavior problems like ours with adhd..they may say they do not but they do..i have found it out the hard way but it works out..good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.B.

answers from Greensboro on

Please take a long look a www.feingold.org. Feingold is a 30yr old non-profit organization whose purpose is to inform the public about petroleum-based artificial ingredients in our food supply. These harmful additives cause ADD, ADHD, OCD, and many other behavioral, emotional and physical side effects. Feingold is a leading authority on this subject. It sounds like all your children could greatly benefit from this. Best wishes.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.W.

answers from Wheeling on

Dear R.,
I feel that teacher is not right for her.
Try to find someone who will give the time to your preciuos child.
Her little mind is so filled with so much around her. she is unable to vocus on what is need at that time.
Start over were you feel she needs to learn.
One step at a time.
Pray to God for His leading and give you strength and wisdom to know what to do.

Have a good day Today
Vicki W.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches