Need Advice on Getting Daughter to Go #2 in the Potty

Updated on May 07, 2009
B.W. asks from Clawson, MI
9 answers

Hi. My daughter is 2 1/2. We started potty training about 2 weeks ago and it has been going great. She's only had a couple of accidents and is very into wearing her underwear and not being wet. So the peeing is going great but I am having a hard time with bowel movements. She is now holding it in for days. We have always had a problem with hard stools but up until potty training she never held it in. I now have her on Miralax which should really soften her up. She's been on it for a week now and she's still holding it in. I end up having to give her a suppository b/c she gets so uncomfortable. I've tried putting her in a warm bath. That really stimulates her to go but the instant I put her on the toilet she holds it in. I have offered to put her in a diaper so she can poop in it but she doesn't want to be in one. Now today it has been 3 days since her last poop and she is obviously holding it in. I have forced her to wear a diaper today until she poops but now she won't even go in her diaper.
Any suggestions? I can't keep giving her a suppository!

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. I've increased her dosage on the Miralax (with Dr.'s ok) and I'm now bribing her. Today she finally ended up pooping (after 4 days) and she went in her underwear but I don't care. I'm just happy that she pooped. She got an M&M and got to get a movie from the store. I'm just not going to push it and then make a huge deal when it does happen. Hopefully she'll get so loose that she can't hold it in anymore. Thank you so much everyone!

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C.C.

answers from Grand Rapids on

i had to smirk when reading this b/c my daughter was THE SAME exact way. we did the miralax and glycerin suppositories, warm baths, exercising, fiber therapy......everything! but, the good news is she can't hold it in forever! keep giving her the miralax, feed her high fiber foods, try a little prune juice and wait it out. give the suppository a break for awhile. maybe she's upset about that or something. you just never know with kids!!
anyhow, as hard as it is, be patient and try not to think about it for a couple days.
trust me, it might seem like forever away, but she'll be using the potty like a pro before you know it!!

also, have you tried bribes? we told my daughter that when she started pooping in the potty we'd take her to the store to pick out something special for using the potty like a big girl. she chose a care bear and still sleeps with it each night. also, m&m's work great, too, if she likes chocolate. i would give mine about 4 for pooping. it was motivation enough for her.... :)

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K.V.

answers from Detroit on

One word, BRIBERY! Yes, just go there. Get rid of the diapers though. You might just ask her in a calm relaxed voice (like you don't even care, or maybe have grandma ask or a neighbor) "why don't you like to go poop anymore, does it hurt, or are you scared?" You need to find out what the problem is or you won't be able to fix it.

I would find out what foods are good at making you go, and only give her those for days at a time, so that she almost can't hold it in, it might help her to get used to it. Read lots of books about pooping. And let her in the bathroom when you go, do the poopy dance when you make one in the toilet, and give yourself a big treat (whatever she will get), then make a big deal about how wonderful the treat is (if it's an m&m then make it last and suck on it making yum noises and really make her jealous that she doesn't have one. If you do that for a couple of days, she will really feel jealous and see that everyone makes a poo. (That's if there isn't some other problem, but my guess is it hurt her once, and amazingly some kids think taht they are losing a part of themselves, that's where the showing her yours will help.) Gross I know. Good luck and God Bless.

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M.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Punishment by regression is NOT going to help you out here, it could only complicate matters! Even if wearing a diaper was what she wanted, but especially since she doesn't want to.

My daughter (27 months) is at a similar place as well. She's kind of hit and miss with pooping. Been successful a few times on the potty on her own, and then several accidents as well. She holds it, though she has not had hard stools - her bowels just move slower, every 3-4 days is what I expect with her. She was only a daily pooper for about 6 months when she was younger. My daughter likes her privacy. My stratagy is to keep it low key. Don't freak out when she has an accident. This is a separate potty training experience and you have to expect accidents. Keep the training pants on. When she has an accident, take her to the potty to remove the pants. Explain that this is where poop goes and have her repeat, poop in potty, no poop in pants! Clean her up and move on. Making this a big deal is going to make her more resistant. Keep it as relaxed as possible, even though you're going crazy inside and gagging at the thought of cleaning it up... again... Talk to her about how good it will feel to be a big girl and go in the potty, and what the rewards are going to be, something bigger and better then what you used to get her to pee. And just keep plugging away at it. She WILL get over this hurdle! You can do it!

Best wishes!

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V.L.

answers from Detroit on

I agree don't make a huge deal about it, it could be a control issue at this time.

If it does continue,, I would talk to her doctor

Good luck

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G.B.

answers from Detroit on

Toddlers do a lot of control things and eventually they figure it all out if we don't get too upset & make it worse. I'd not get into this with her too much, though obviously you can't just let it go for very long. Sounds like you've done some reasonable things to resolve it. It may take awhile. I'd drop the diapers if she's upset by them and try to put her in charge of pooping as much as you can. She's getting something out of this battle but also seems to fear the discomfort of passing a hard stool. I'd sure increase the fiber and fluids in her diet on a regular basis which I bet you've already done. I wouldn't put any more emphasis on this in your day than you have to to lessen the power struggle. Hang in there, Mom! This too shall pass - LOL!

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S.

answers from Detroit on

B.,
I had purchased some flushable kid wipes (purple/green box)and told my daughter they were special poopy wipes that she could only use when she pooped. She dug it- she is thrilled to have special wipes for going poop. We also did 1 m&m and 1 sticker for pee and 2 of each for poop. The m&ms and stickers only lasted about a month but they helped too.
Good luck!!

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B.J.

answers from Detroit on

Hi B., without knowing your daughter's normal cycle, I am at a loss for suggestions. Mom of 4 daughter's, some went everyday, one of my daughter's could only go every 4 to 5 days. With the Miralax given, she should have gone already, & could not have held it. She also has had hard stools in the past, is her ped's Dr aware of this problem, & have they ruled out any medical condition, which would cause her discomfert? I would talk to her Dr. if their is no problem, be paient, she shows intrest in going to the potty, it has only been 2 weeks, make a chart, give little rewards, stickers, books, small toy, ect. She & you are doing great, hang in there.

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

Some kids are just very 'possessive' of their excretions. But maybe hard stools' pain has in a way scared her to not want to because she remembers the pain of pooping.

When she does just make a big thing of it so she's encouraged and it brings about smiles and she feels good about herself. Maybe it won't hurt at that time and it's a double victory. No pain and lots of smiles.

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M.C.

answers from Detroit on

Have you tried a pull-up? I'd tell her that it is not good for her to hold it in because it can make her sick, so this is why they make pull-ups. Maybe that would help.

Good Luck,

M.

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