Need Advice on How to Help 7 Year Old Son.

Being a big kid takes a lot of focus. Sometimes 7 year old boys cannot focus well yet for very long. They are active and fidgety.
When my 17 year old was 7, the teacher allowed him to stand at a counter and work. He could not do his math sitting down! There were some basic courtesy rules he had to follow or the privilege was gone, but he could take his math paper to the back of the room and quietly stand and do his work. It helped so much!!

Another thought: work with the teacher on a sticker chart. Once he completes the chart, he brings it home and he receives that special little treat he has been working toward.

I have seen this kind of behavior in my sons in various ways. I would recommend working with the teacher and the school counselor. I would ask if your child finds it hard to focus when there is so much to look around and see or hear (kids to talk to).

My sons, sometimes, needed to be at a desk away from the classroom windows or closer to the teacher's desk (where the teacher could get his attention redirected more quickly).

The most effective incentive I've found is making the rule that homework has to be done first (usually after a snack) before the TV is allowed to be turned on (or video game). Ask for your son to bring his homework to you when he says he is done. Give him a compliment FIRST. In this way you are being positive about the homework and not discouraging (with "what took you so long" or "I can't read this"). My favorite is a simple "Thank you so much for bringing your homework to me. It means a lot to me." After the compliment, you can proceed to "oh, I see you didn't work on this problem, what happened?". And don't correct all of his mistakes. Most of the time (like you said "he's very smart") it just takes some slowing down ("show me how you got this answer").

I'm guessing here, but he may be smart enough in math that he finds it boring and not challenging. That's a question for the teacher.

Way to go, mom of a second grader!

Good luck!

The best way for a child to learn a new concept, especially math, is by connecting it to real life situations. Make the concepts personal for him. For example, if he is learning fractions, ask him to help you make cookies and have him do the ingrediants. This helps him to become comfortable with seeing and using fractions. Find out what kind of learner he is: audio-does best by listening, visual-needs to see it to understand (graphs help), or kinesthetic-hands on (he needs to physically apply the concept and use it to understand it). By finding out his learning style you can find out the best approach to take and then go from there. But, again, try to find everyday connections to the new math concepts he is learning in class. It will help it not seem so scary and new for him and he will be able to relate the concepts to his personal real life situations. Good luck! and if you need guidance in finding out what kind of learner he is just go to this website: http://www.personal.psu.edu/bxb11/LSI/LSI.htm
it's quick and easy and will give you immediate results! :D

Hi T.,

I'm sorry to hear you little guy is having some trouble especially with math. What about spelling? Does it seem it takes him a few tries to learn the words? Go to www.brightsolutions.us and watch a free webcast, "Could it be Dyslexia?". Since you didn't say anything was hard but math, it may not apply. BUT, dyslexia is the most COMMON reason a child struggles in school, and in Math! The video only takes 40 mins. and it will just give you lots of great information.

There is a program called TouchMath that you can see on the internet. You might check that out too. But, please watch the video because dyslexia really might be the underlying issue.

L. IRvin, M.S., CCC/SLP

T.,
My oldest was diagnosed with dyslexia in the 3rd grade, (she is now in 4th) and one of the things that I wish I had done differently is don't expect, so much out of them so little. Go with what he says, ask the teacher to modify his work and this build him up slowly. Everyone learns differently and I believe that pushing to fast will get them feeling negatively and it will not be a postitive experience. Remember, this 2nd grade math being modified will not affect him from grauating graduate school to be a Dr. It will come with time. Even though you and the teacher both agree he is VERY smart, remember his brain is on overload all day at school and a little modification can make the difference between loving school and hating school. God Bless.

Hi T.,
I am wondering what it is about being a big boy that your son doesnt want or is afraid of. I noticed on your profile that you also have a 3y/o DS. I wonder if your older son thinks it is better to be a little boy. Maybe the younger child gets more hugs or silliness or something that he is missing. I would ask him how it would be if he didnt get any bigger. What would he enjoy and what would he dislike about being a big boy. Perhaps he thinks he wont know what to do in 3rd grade, or as a man, or daddy. Tell him that he will continue learning and he wont have to do anything harder than he has been equipped for. Perhaps he is even worried about what it will be like when he is an older, more independent kid who doesnt need his parent as much. Has he been around an older kid who is having difficulty with something? You will probably get plenty of answers on the math question, so I will leave that to the moms who have done this more recently than me. HTH

I sent your question to my daughters second grade teacher. She is awesome. She also has 2 boys, so she is known for her handling of boys having a hard time at the elementary school she teaches at.
Here are her suggestions.

I'm thinking they need to start giving him more responsibilities at home:
answering the phone properly
calling friend's parents to make playdate arrangements (at least spark the initial conversation and then parents make detailed plans)
making purchases at the store while parents step back to monitor
addressing sales people and asking where to find particular items
allow him to give input into some decisions but maybe with parents narrowing the choices to their two top choices

school:
run errands to the office
deliver papers/notes to another teacher
let him help others that missed directions, don't understand the concept, guide others to finish

some thoughts off the top of my head. you want them to begin to feel confident and let them know that they are capable and able to do more "big" boy stuff. let them know that it is intimidating at times but it gets better with practice.