So, here's the issue, my husband is great, but lately I've been noticing lots of extra charges to our credit card the he hasn't informed me about in anyway (which he usually does without me asking). I really wouldn't complain, but it's on food items and it's coming to 25 dollars a week! We really can't afford him spending $100 a month on food and snacks. I've tried make more and better snacks available, I bought powder drink mix he likes so he wouldn't be so enticed to buy sodas, and I always have plenty of stuff for a good filling dinner. He never did this working a day shift and I've never had this much of a problem with it before! We talked about it after one week, and was very disappointed to find it had happened again. I don't feel like I can trust him with a credit card or a debit card, but don't want to have to play mommy and take them away. How can I solve this and help him understand and change his habit without having to play mommy and take away privileges?
Try the Dave Ramsey program and theN you both will be on the same page! He is an adult, he earns the money, no you can't be Mommy to him but if you both have a budget, NO CREDIT CARDS, CASH, CASH, CASH. Look on he's website and you will find peace through he's program. Good luck.
How 'bout talking to him about putting yourselves on a budget? Take away the credit card and give yourselves a weekly allowance for fun/treats/"me" things.
I agree with Yvette's advice.
J.,
I know what it is like to live on a tight budget. When my husband was working on his Ph.D, I was the main bread winner. I was pretty hard on him when it came to money and he went along with it for a few years before he really started to resent not having ANY cash. He said as a man he should have some money in his pocket. Once I put myself in his shoes I felt pretty bad. So we worked out an allowance. It wasn't much, but at least he could get snacks and go out for lunch at least once a week. Cut your man some slack. He isn't spending much money. $25 a week is a paltry sum for a grown man. He will start to resent you nagging him over a few dollars a week. If he were spending money on clothes and toys for himself I can see you calling in the spending. This is small, give it to him.
Hi J.. I'm going to assume You're the one that keeps track of the banking/check book. So if that's the case, I was in your same boat not too long ago. And like yourself, I didn't want to fuss or 'cause some 'mommy' fight over it.... so this is what I did. I simply said to him, "I want you to balance our books for two months." He said 'ok', and I let him do it. Once he realized what I was juggling around and dealing with he quit his senseless spending. I, of course, have taken the books back over.... but he doesn't spend like he used to. Do you think that might help your situation?? If you try that out?
As a once SAHM I empathize with you. I agree with the first sets of advise. In life we have to make sacrifices especially when the odds are against us. I walked a mile in your shoe when it comes to over spending and if action is not taken it could get worst and yes people tend to snack more on the night shift. Maybe adding $10 a week to the budget for snacks and have him pick out his snacks from the grocery store might help especially when there is sale. I do believe Dave Ramsey course would help to keep the both of you on path.
I agree with what I have already read but thought that if he made a list for you of what snacks he would like available so that you could make them fit in the budget that might be a great solution. Then he feeels like he has a say in his snacks and you aren't having to be mommy or the drill sergent. I have always had issues with things like this and quite frankly it wasn't until our home went into forclosure that he took our budget seriously. We did Dave Ramsey and that helped but it was the reality check that did it for him. I hope your hubby doesn't require that but it got to the point that I said whatever it takes Lord! By the way we have an arangement worked out so we won't be loosing our home.
Sincerly,
K.
Hum....you said he didn't do this when he was working day shift. Is he working a different shift than he is used to? If it is 3rd/midnights, that is a hard shift to function on. I used to work it and for some reason I seemed to snack more myself. I think it was to help me stay awake, keep me alert. If it is snacks he needs then make him take snacks with him to work instead of buying them there. This would be a much cheaper alternative.
Good luck!
S.
