Hi Everyone! You have helped so much in the past, I figured I would try this again... My daughter is almost 3 years old and we potty trained her in April. She did pretty well with it and only has an accident every now and then. It's a routine to go potty when we wake up in the morning, before nap, after nap, before bed, and anytime before we leave to go somewhere that means we will be gone for a while. She still wears a diaper for bedtime and naptime. My daughter has had constipation issues since last September and I strongly believe it is all psychological and I have the medical bills to prove that nothing is wrong internally. She doesn't want to go b/c she says it hurts when she goes. She has been on 2 tsps on Milk of Magnesium every morning since December along with a strict diet of NO cheese, NO apples, NO bananas, lots of fiber and very little dairy. She now says it burns when she goes. She goes every 4-6 days (with the Milk of Mag.)and usually only after MUCH screaming, crying, whining and "I don't have to go poopy, Mommy." When first potty training, she didn't mind peeing, just pooping. Now, she hates peeing too and every single potty time has turned into a scream/whine/cry fest on her part. It shouldn't be like this! What can I do to turn it around into a fun time? I want to cry every time I know she needs to sit on the potty b/c I know what it is going to turn into. How can I make this better? Please help! Thank you! (As a side note, we have an appointment with a pediatric GI based on a referral from her Pediatrician. He agrees that it shouldn't be this much hassle to go potty...)
Have you tried suppositories?
We increase veggies and fruit intake when my grandaughter starts getting constipated. And lots of water. It works--she remembers a time when she couldn't poop, she was constipated and how painful it was, so she doesn't complain about the diet. Good luck
Hi K.,
I feel for you, been there, done that! Every child is different so I will just tell you what did and did not work for us after 1 1/2 years of trying to resolve the same exact issue.
Her ped said it was mostly psychological and he was correct. We tried the diet like you are, the Milk of Mag, pedialax, Metamucil, miralax, etc.... with no success. We tried the sitting on the potty after meals which as I am sure you have found out is a nightmare and fairly counter productive.
My daughters started out of a bout of constipation, and just spiraled. I let her resume a normal diet and began giving her a "Fiber Choice" tablet daily, at night before she went to sleep. I stopped sending her to the potty after meals, and just let it be. The fiber choice tablets must taste good because she tries to get into them all the time. The bottle says to consult a doctor before giving to children under six, I did, he said give it a try.
It took about two weeks for her to become regular, and everyone's regular is different, for her it's every other day. It was no longer hard from holding it forever, she got over the fear that it was going to hurt, and she quit dreading the bathroom.
Giving it at night gave the body time to process it effectivly. I chose that brand though the most expensive because it is only ONE tablet per day instead of 2-6 per day (do the math and it is no longer the most expensive) and the one with the highest recommendations I could find on the internet. When we first started it took about three days, but she couldn't hold it any longer and it came out softer. Like I said, it took about two weeks but she became regular and stopped fearing the bathroom.
She has been off of it for the most part for a few months now and all is fine. Once in awhile she will say it was "owie" after she has gone (usually right after we have traveled or been out all day for a couple of days), I give her one tablet at bedtime and all is well again.
I wish you luck.
My son is having the same problem. He is taking Miralax and his stool is so soft he cant hold it. I think little by little he is getting better with the pooping issue because it comes out soft. Ask your GI but thats what my sons GI recommended he take.
Much like Tammy suggested, it sounds like you need to make it where she HAS to go... not just make it "easier" by softening the stool. Soften it enough that she will go without having to even try. I can't comment on the Miralax, as I've no experience with it, but our daughter trained early and later had problems with constipation. Not an unwillingness to go at all.. but she didn't fully eliminate. Only went enough to stop the "urge". So she ended up compacted/impacted. An Xray showed it to us after a trip to Nemours Children's Hospital.... after months of misdiagnoses about all sorts of infections that she didn't have, and rounds of antibiotics that were unnecessary. The prescription? :
2 TABLE spoons of Milk of Magnesia TWICE a day for the weekend, to completely clean everything out. Then, continue with a normal dose each day for a week.. using that time to "retrain" her bowels... 10 minutes after each meal... she was to go sit on the potty with a book --- it worked. She has had NO more problems with this. She was trained fully (including nighttime) WAY before her 3rd birthday... pretty close after her 2nd birthday... but the "back-up" issue didn't show up until months later... then took months to diagnose. If she has developed the fissures that Tammy mentioned in trying to eliminate really hard impacted poop that may be building up, then getting the impacted stuff out, might help keep her from straining too hard. If the outer skin is irritated, you can let her soak in a baking soda or oatmeal bath to help. If she is burning on urination, that can signal other issues, like UTI, or yeast infection,... but if those have been ruled out... One thing that might help her (?) is to get a cup of warm (NOT hot) water and pour it over her when she is on the potty. It can help trigger the urination, but also, if she really is burning, wash away the urine before it gets a chance to sting.
Good luck with this.
you probably need to try miralax- it's safe & used to be prescription only
also try fiber one yogurts
this might sound wonky but:
find a chiropractor who works w/ children
before your visit tell her how THIS is going to work!
(almost like a 'placebo' affect. how it won't hurt to use the toilet after this visit and, if it does, it's OK to relax and let go. it's SAFE and you are there to help her after if it really hurts- tell her you have a special cream (put some diaper cream in a travel-size container) that will help her bottom if it hurts after.)
hang in there!
With the burning it sounds like her PH is off. Cranberry is good for the urinary tract--but no sugar (which feeds the bad bugs)Health food store should be of help.
Also probiotics (acidophilus/yogurt). Yogurt probably won't be enough. Get a chewable at the health food store. Also when starting probiotics there may be constipation for awhile while the system settles out. One of the best stool softeners is aloe vera juice. Aloe is bitter so some come flavored but it is better and cheaper to sweeten with the natural sweetener, Stevia or fruit juice. The cheapest is at WalMart for $8./gal.(Refrigerate after opening. Aloe can be used for just about anything. Even repels fleas.)
Good Luck and God Bless
Hi I have this problem with my son off and on. You can also try Miralax if it's okay with your doctor, which is a stool softener. Or you might have to use a baby laxitive just to get everything out. Ask the doctor. It sounds like this whole thing is turning into a battle with her. It hurt her once, and now she's holding it to the point that it's going to hurt every time. Ask the doctor for a good laxative or stool softener. I know the feeling because my son would dig in his heels about the potty. You probably need to back off on the whole thing for a while. What a nurse friend of mine said to do with my son was take him after breakfast to the potty. Encourage him to sit but if he starts to scream let him go and don't force him. Maybe you can give her a toy that she likes that she can only play with while on the potty. Or read to her on the potty whatever she likes. Give her lots of praise if she "tries" but don't force the issue. Don't get to the point where she's screaming, just let her go. If she has an accident, so be it. You want her to stop "holding" anyway. Use a sticker chart and when she does try give her a sticker. When she gets say 3 stickers she gets a reward of some kind. If she has an accident don't scold just say well maybe next time you will have better luck or some such thing. Be calm. It's hard believe me because I struggled with my son forever over this issue. I got frustrated, mad, and everything else, but all that only makes matters worse. Also watch her diet. My son loves canned pasta but it constipates him badly so I had to cut a lot of that out. Give her raisins, grapes, grape juice, and prunes whatever she will eat. All those softens things. Good luck.
I agree - Miralax can be your new best friend. I can't believe you pediatrician hasn't given you any already. To me, that is what is wierd....
My granddaughter did the same thing. Get a prize box and put some inexpensive things in it that she would like. Party favors, pieces of candy if you allow her to have that. Whenever she goes on the potty she gets to pick from the box. If you need to, you can have a separate boop box with a little bit nicer things in it and use it for awhile. We did that with Amber and she is now a pro and doesn't need the surprises anymore. Good luck. S.
I have one word for you: MiraLax.
It changed my life--- well, my daughter's life, and therefore mine, too! I had YEARS (yes, years) of issues with her withholding. The pediatrician finally explained fissures to me and showed me that she had two. They are little tears in the rectum from pushing out a hard poop. I know your daughter is on M of M, but you really need to ask your pediatrician about MiraLax. My daughter's ped recommended that I try it and went on and on about how amazing it is, but like you I already had an appointment with a pediatric GI so I waited. She said she liked M of M better only because it's been around much longer. So I left her office, bought the M of M and my daughter would NOT drink it. So I went back to the original advice from the pedi and tried the MiraLax. It's amazing!! You have to be careful with it, though. You have to figure out the right dose for your daughter. If you don't give enough of course it just won't work. But it's a stool softener, so you have to be sure not to give too much because if you do she will not be able to control herself and it will just ooze out like pudding (sorry to be so graffic!!!) The goal, though, at first is to make it so she has no choice and can't hold it in. Then she'll see that pooping does not need to hurt and will gradually be OK with doing it on her own without holding it in for days. MiraLax is a powder that you mix with ANY liquid -- it disolves completely and has zero flavor.
Try getting one of those dolls that pee after you put water in them. Show her how the doll goes to the potty. Both my son & daughter wanted to put her on the potty and it helped them learn. But I think you might have another issue here. Are you sure you've exhausted all the medical problems? If so, I'd try an alternative like a homeopath. There's a great homeopathic school in Deland that takes patients for their last year students. I think it's $00.00 then $25 for visits after that. It's a whole different way of looking at your health. It's more about the individual. The first appointment was two hours and they ask you so many questions to try to get an understanding of who you are and how you react to things, etc. They definitely see kids. I had a ton of medical issues the first year I was here and they disappeared after I went there a couple of times and they gave me my remedies. Homeopathy is all natural without side effects. It's about being out of balance and once they figure out your remedy and get you in balance, you are ok. It's been around longer then the AMA. Just an alternative thought... Best of luck to you- Motherhood is so hard!!
I have great advise!
I was like your daughter and although all seemed fine on test results I had problems with stress and the digestion of food.
My mother gave me Papaya vitamins, they are sweet and harmless. The best part is she can eat them more then once a day and it will help her have softer stools. You can even get them at the local publix or grocery store.
I would also suggest buying digestive enzymes (can be costly) mostly found at whole foods or gnc.
I also buy a special tea from publix that helps my kids stay regular.
Remove milk from her diet for a while and see if it helps or buy lactose free milk.
As it turned out, I was intolerant to a lot of foods and lacked the enzymes to properly brake down the food. I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Collitis and lactose intolerance at the age of 21. I cannot say that the constipation I grew up with is what caused the collitis but as a Mom I make sure that if it could be an option it is less likely to happen to them.
I have three children and my oldest has the constipation issue and my son almost died at 7months from another digestive dissorder.
My advise is to never ignore the little stuff, always take precaution.
My daughter who is now 6 went through the same thing. I know how FRUSTRATING this can be!!!
The Miralax did not work for my little one, what finally worked for us was Benefiber!! It changed our lives. I would mix it with a little bit of applesauce, yogurt, or juice and it WORKED!! I did it daily until she was regular and then gradually stopped. But if I noticed that she was has difficulty again I would resume using it immediatley. It took us a good year to get through this very difficult time.
I have many friends that went through this with their little ones and Benefiber worked for them also.
Good Luck!! I hope this helps!
