Need Advice to Help Son Pooping

You might ask him why he's doing it. My son was afraid of the height of the toilet but didn't want to admit it. Having a step-stool to rest his feet on made him feel more confident. You might try it.

My first inclination is to put him back in a diaper. He wants to act 2, then he gets to be 2: diaper, naps, cheerios, the whole bit. When he decides that pooping in a toilet is more fun than wearing a diaper he can be 5 again. Thats me though, mainly because I don't handle poop well and that behaviour would totally tick me off.

The 2nd option has been mentioned: cleaning up, bath, the whole routine when he poops in his pants.

By now he's old enough to know better, he needs to know there are consequences and payoffs depending on the choices he makes. Good Luck!!

i added a little pinch (about 1/4 teaspoon) of the powder fiber/laxative to her cereal each morning and wa-la! she stopped the accidents!!! she didn't notice. (we got the tastless kind and it's supposed to dissolve all the way.) it may work... either way, it's not unhealthy. also, you could try lots of high fiber foods. hope you find something that solves the problem. i know it's frustrating!

OK, I read some of the responses and I have to say that the advice is good...to an extent. I was once where you are now. My daughter would poop in her pants often. We tried making her wash them and letting her wear them all day long. It didnt help. We tried the big girl thing, taking away priviledges and such, but with no changes in her behavior. Then about a year ago, I recorded an episode of Dr. Phil that I planned on watching, but I got bored and almost deleted it multiple times. Every time I went to delete it, I felt very strongly that I should watch it and finally I did. It was an episode where parents could ask various medical DR's questions, and one of the families featured seemed to be telling my story. The woman had two boys (ages 9 & 15) that were still pooping in thier underware and it was a nightmare for them. What I didnt know is that there is a medical condition called encompresis sp? that is part of chronic constipation. What happens is there is a hard old clog of poop in the colon which stretches the colon. Then the fresher, softer poop seeps out around it into the underware. The stimulation of the hard clog eventually causes the child to loose the ability to feel that they have to go; the rectum becomes overstimulated and so they just quit feeling the urge to go. As for the smell after the accident, well it is like wearing perfume; after a while you cant smell your perfume anymore because you become used to the smell.

My daughter and I spent years going round and round. I thought that she was just being lazy, but in reality she has a real problem. A quick trip to her doctor got us on the right path. He prescribed Miralax, which is really great, and keeps her regulated, but I forget to give it to her. A week ago, I decided to try her on Activia since she can get it for herself, and it has worked wonders. She has pooped in the toilet every day she has eaten it.

I just wanted to share in case your son has a bigger problem that you, like me, may not be aware of.

Good luck.

One of the most important things to do is not make a big deal out of it and make him clean up the entire mess. He has to suffer the consequences of his actions and in this case the consequence is cleaning up the mess. If he has mastered the art of pooping my guess is that he knows when he needs to go. Ask him, very nicely but persistently, why he won't go in the toilet. He may have some reason for it.

My niece did the same thing, same age! She finally came up to my house (I live out of town) and we worked on it a little. I didn't say a lot just always talked about what a big girl she was, which really seemed to help. I also at one point asked her to help her little brother (3) go to the bathroom, since he was being potty trained, the first time she went in to help him, he pooped on the potty for the first time!! They both went home completly potty trained YEAH!!
Do you have any family members that could do a sleep over (for a few days if possible) and be willing to help out? That he is close to?
HTH,
S.

J.,
Even though this may sound crude, you can't poop unless you push. So tell him if he feels the need to push, then before he pushes he needs to go to the bathroom. This really needs to be mastered before kindergarten, if not then before he starts you need to tell the teacher. They may want you to keep him home until he's completely potty trained mainly because they will not have time with all the other children to change him. Another ideal, if he's excited to go to school, you may suggest or tell him that he won't be able to go to school if he don't start using the bathroom when he need to both pee & poop. Sometimes just the threat of not getting to do something they really want to do helps.
Good Luck
E.

My sister had the same problem with her son and it wasn't anything medical, he just didn't want to use the toilet or take time out of his playtime I guess. She told him he wouldn't be able to go to school and that really helped but the clincher was making him clean up himself and shower everytime. It also may help to have a male figure in his life tell him that big boys use the toilet.

Since he probably is very aware of the feeling of when he needs to poop and is choosing not to use the potty, then up the anty and get hard core. Have him clean up his own pants, rinsing them out in the tub, then having him put them in the washing machine, take away big boy priviledges since he is a big boy tell him pooping in his pants is a little boy thing to do and if he won't go in the potty time to take away big boy stuff! If you truly feel he has no idea when he has to go then put him on the potty every hour and a half and explain to him "until you can do this yourself we have to do this". You will have to vigilant, stay home a few days but his body should pick up on the cues and he will eventually get it. If you are worried he doesn't know what the feeling is maybe talk to his pediatrician about what can help him or make sure it isn't medical.

next time he poops his pants --don't change them --let him wear them all day long. you may have to throw out that pair if pants but it will work. it wont hurt him in the least. plus ther should be some sort of consequence for it. like time out. no less than 6 minutes. and this would be a good time to invite someone over for a playdate. of course they should be in on it with you .

qiick story --i was doing daycare for a 3 and a half year old and he would hide under his bed to poop. well when he was done he came to me to change him and i waited to change him till right before mom came home. i told him over and over that i would not play with him because he stinks, that only little babies poop in their pants.

so on monday when i came back to watch him his mom said what did i do to their son????? i was kinda scared. but she said he has pooped in the toilet everytime. it sound harsh but it will get the job done.

I've had a problems like this off and on with one of my boys. I think part of it is that he doesn't like to stop playing to go. Someone else mentioned constipation. I agree that if kids have an experience when pooping hurt, they don;t want it to happen again. I have also read that sometimes they can get so backed up inside the the muscles get weak so they can't control it. You'd have to talk to your doctor about that one. I know with my son I didn't make the cleanup a fun process. I didn't give him attention (because kids can do things just for the attention, even if it is negative). I wouldn't say much to him, just get him cleaned up. If he needed a bath, I would just run the water to get him wet, have him washoff and get out. He likes baths too much for me to let him take a full bath everytime. I didn't want him to see any positive in pooping his pants. He is 5 now and I haven't had any problems with it for a long time. Good luck ,I know how frustrating it can be.

I am going through the same thing with my 4 year old. He has been peeing in the toilet for almost a year and since then we have been trying off and on to get him to poop in the toilet. I tried everything and nothing works. I took him to the ped this week and turns out, he is probably constipated and backed up which I would not have guessed since he does go everyday in his pull up. I had to give him an enema and put him on Miralax (laxative). My ped said they get this way because at some point they had a bm which hurt so they are afraid to go and hold it. My ds has to be "re-trained" to know that it won't hurt (that's where the laxative comes in). Here is a link (copy and paste it into your browser) to an article from a doctor in Denver and his opinion about children who refuse to use the toilet

http://contemporarypediatrics.modernmedicine.com/contpeds...

I can't tell you if it works because I'll be implementing this strategy today. I KNOW how frustrated you are because I'm going through it too. Hang in there. Email me if you ever want to commiserate!!
T.