Need Advise on 15 Yr. Old Family Pet

Hey D... This is one of the toughest decisions you will ever make. If the pup is that old, you have had some wonderful years with a very loving, faithful companion. If he is that ill, and causing a lot of mess, with no hope of recovery, do it for him and you, let him go in dignity. Did you see Marley?? It is a TOUGH thing, but best for all. BUT, I do say, get another pet right away. Not another Maltese, as you would always compare, but something that will fill your void. It is good for all. I lost my best friend, a poodle, and thought I would die. But, God sent me another buddy, and she saved my life. If within a few days, another dog comes into your life, keep it...it was sent to you.... Dog God... coincidence?? I dont think so. If one does not come to you... go to the local shelter and let one pick you out there. Good luck and hugs to your family.

Hi, D.. We went through this situation with our dog a little over a year ago. You'll know when the time comes to put him down. If you have doubts, it may not yet be time. When we finally did make the call to the vet, they didn't pussyfoot around - they said we could come in that day, which we weren't quite ready for. But we did it a day or two later. Our vet handled it really wonderfully. Be prepared to make a decision about what to do with him once it's over - whenever you do call, ask about your options. It was a difficult experience, but you will get through it.

I truly feel your pain. My dog became incontinent (with poop too toward the end) and we had him in doggie diapers for several weeks. This is NOT the way to do it! Although he was showing his age in many other ways, I kept thinking I couldn't just put my dog down because of a mess, but I wish I had made the decision for both his and our sake. He died in my arms in pain... it was much more traumatic for him (and me) this way!

It will NEVER be easy or clear to make the decision that it is more humane for your dog to experience a peaceful death than suffer. Our first dog had arthritis so bad and we kept putting off the decision. I came home from work to find her in the exact same spot as I left her and she couldn't get up! She wouldnt' eat and she couldn't walk or even squat to pee... I had to support her and carry her everywhere. We put her to sleep the next day- almost in a panic because she was hurting so much- and I truly regret waiting so long. Once you see it is not going to get better realize that it is only going to get worse. Make the decision and prepare to grieve! I can't believe how much I mourned for both our dogs... MUCH more for the one that died in my arms because I had the guilt of being able to spare him so much pain and I didn't have the nerve to put him to sleep.

One piece of advice for your child... DON'T tell him you are putting your dog "to sleep!" Young children can confuse going to sleep with dying. Tell them you dog is very sick and you went to the vet and the vet helped him die peacefully so he is not in pain anymore. (You might not want to mention shots either or you may have more anxiety with vaccinations.) Kids CAN get confused. Let him know it was because you love him (not because he made a mess) that you and the vet decided this was best.

One other thing... get your vets advice and then balance it with your own instincts. We had a vet that made me feel very guilty that I wouldn't practically mortgage my house to pay for very expensive tests that would only show problems that were untreatable or where surgery was the only option- which we were not doing on a 13 yr old dog. The vet: "Welllllllllllll, if surgery is not an option for you, then we will have to figure something out I guess." We changed vets and actually got less expensive care that treated the incontinence with a $50 bottle of Proin- that medication was like a magic wand for us! That after close to $1000 of testing with the other vet and over a month of doggie diapers! The new vet made the last month of our dogs life a great one before he died of natural causes.

Good luck!

D.,

I just went through this with our 13 1/2 yr old cocker at T'giving. I'd had her since she was 6 wks old. She was doing the same thing that you said and also had kidney failure that we were aware of since Feb of that year. I knew it was only going to get worse. I had spoken at length with our vet who was GREAT during this whole ordeal several times and it just got to be too much with a 2 yr old and having to clean up after her every day. I was also having to put her in the laundry room every day to keep it contained while we were at work and I just felt this wasn't a good quality of life for her. You could tell she was just really ready. I explained to our daughter the morning we had our pet put down that she would not be home so our little girl needed to give her lots of loving and hugs since she wouldn't see her again and that she was going to go to heaven. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done and our vet let my husband and I be with our dog during the whole procedure which gave me some peace. It was very quick and seemed to be painless for her. I won't lie, I was balling and it took awhile to compose myself but it was the best decision for our family. I just didn't want her to be suffering and I felt things were getting to that point. Not a day goes by that my little girl doesn't talk about our pet or say how much she loves her and we talk about her being in heaven and she seems to understand but I don't really know how much a 2 yr old can comprehend that kind of thing. The bottom line is you have to decide what is best for you and I think explain to your child before hand in terms they can understand and then to talk about it openly afterwards when they are ready.

I'll be sending warm thoughts your way as I know how hard this situation is. If your maltese is like our pet they are a member of your family, not just a pet and you will miss them terribly. You don't really know all the ways you will miss them until they are truly gone. The hardest part for me still is when I first get home from work and there's no one to greet me at the door. :(

One thing I did was I made an impression of her paw in some of that dryable playdough that I bought at Michael's. I'm going to put it in a shadow box when I get some time with a photo of her and my family. I would recommend that so you have something to remember your pet by. Just a thought but I'm really glad I did it.

Take care and good luck -
K.

I am sorry for what you are going through. I went through it a few years ago. My husband and I had a St Bernard for 11 years. I was pregnant with my son, she had bone cancer and had to be put down. We tried everything imaginable for a year, spending almost 200$ a week on her. She was to the point where she wouldn't move, eat, or drink. My husband eventually moved on the the couch to comfort her. It is the absolute worse feelings to go through. Just try to do what he would want. If you know he's suffering, please don't let him suffer any longer. You will be sad for what seems like forever. We still miss our girl, and its been 2 years. We always do things and say "man if she was here". But the last few months of her life was not an experience to remember. So just think about your pet when he was happy. And live with those memories.

D.,
We just had to do this in August 08. We moved from Mo to TN and our little dog was 18 years old. We were lucky enough to have a niece that works in a vets office and she took him and stayed with him until the last breath. We choose to have him creamated. I was going to make a container to hold the ashes but my niece and her Mom purchased an urn. We put a picture of the dog on it and he sits on top of the desk, which is in the livingroom. We explained to the kids-14,17 and 21, at the time, that it would be unfair to make him move to a new place when he gets confused and upset when a piece of furniture is moved. He was blind and had accidents all the time as well. We felt like it was the best for the dog. Having an animal put to sleep is never easy but if you can stop the dog from suffering then it is worth it. I like to picture our dog being able to run and play, lay down in the sun to relax and take a nap. The sun bath, as we called it, was his favorite thing to do after playing outside. Good Luck and God Bless!

First off, I want you to know how much I empathize with what you are going through. After 15 years, your little pup is as much a part of your life as any family member. What you are dealing with can be just so stressful and emotional.

I would talk with my vet and ask about the quality of life assessment. You may even find this online. It takes into account all aspects of your pet's day to day life and assigns a score to them. For instance, if he has good mobility and seems pain free then he would score a 5. If he has no appetite, maybe just a 1. All of these are added up into a composite score. This is helpful because it can help you to be more objective about what is really going on with him.

When the time comes to say goodbye; I would definitely recommend being with him. My first childhood pet was alone and I always regret that. As hard as it was, I am so glad I was there with our beagle mix (15 yrs) and more recently our giant shepherd mix (9 yrs) when they were put down. I saved some fur from our Elmo (shepherd mix) and keep it with a scrapbook of his photos. My husband had Husker's (beagle mix) collar made into a bracelet for me and surprised me with it. Selecting an urn (if you decide to cremate your pet), making a memory book -- these are all ways to help you grieve afterwards. And finally, always think back on the wonderful memories you have of him. I'm sure he is adorable. I'm also sure that he's very lucky to have such a good mommy. Good luck.

Hi D..
Try this suggestion.
You too go in with her.
Set on Your potty and tell her you are going too.
You must try to let her hear you.
I done that for a wahile with my children.
It help them know you are a big girl too.

I'm sorry I have lost two cats and it is hard to put them down. I also worked at a vet as a receptionist and saw some owners holding onto animals for their own reasons. You will know when it is time and you will always have memories, and after the first few days it gets easier to live without them. Just know that you gave your dog a long and happy life 15 is a good life for a dog. My thoughts are with you.

Many years ago I had a beloved dog that was my "best friend" for 14 years. She was about 11 when my son was born, and the next three years were very hard on her. At the end, she started to do some of the same things you mention here. She was 14 and had bad arthritis problems. Eventually she couldn't even get up and walk. I had to buy those disposable pads you put on beds in nursing homes and lay her on those, on top of a vinyl tablecloth. She was embarrassed when she pooped and peed, but I would clean it up, she never ate it. Your dog is probably embarrassed he is messing in the house and that's why he's eating his feces, which is NOT GOOD.

I took my dog to the vet and she had a disk problem that was not going to get better, and they wouldn't operate because of her advanced age. They advised me to put her down, but I just couldn't do it. I made that poor dog suffer at least another month or two just because she was my best friend and I couldn't bear to let her go. Looking back on it, the kindest thing I could have done would have been to have put her down immediately. Now, instead of all the good memories I have of her, I only have memories of those last painful days when she clearly had no quality of life left.

So that's my story. If your dog is sick, and can recover, then follow that course of action. But if he has such physical problems due to old age that he cannot recover or have quality of life, then do both your dog and yourself a favor, and put him down.

My heart goes out to you. There's hardly a day that goes by that I don't regret my decision to try to prolong my dog's life, long after it was her time to go. Pets have the luxury of euthanization; something we humans do not. And sometimes it is the merciful and loving thing to do.

Good luck. I'll say a prayer for you.

I would get a movie like "all dogs go to heaven" and then just sit down and explain that the dog is sick and that he will go to heaven soon. If you are having him put down at the vet let your son tell him bye and give him hugs, etc.

Wonderful book called, The tenth good thing about Barney. Get it and read it 5-6 times. Talk about the book, and a pet dying. Decide when you can do it. Do it while your son is at school, or leave him with Dad. I take mine to the vet, and bring them home, I have a hole dug under a forsythia bush, I lay my baby in the ground so they will go back to the earth, no wrapping, and I shovel the dirt on, we place a rock on top. I have buried 3 pets in this area. I have my babies euthanized when they can't hold their bowel and bladder anymore. Having another pet really helps too. God bless, it is never easy.

.

Our family dog passed away a little over a year ago and it was rough on the family. It was pretty sudden and although we tried to get her better it wasn't meant to be. Being open and honest worked best for us. Nothing about it was easy. My pets are part of our family. My kids took it rough as I did. My 4 year old still asks when Lady is coming back from doctor and asks if God can bring her back to us. We had her cremated and her urn is in my bedroom where she used to sleep and her picture so it keeps her memory alive and she is always in our hearts.
Praying for peace with your little one.
Patti

D., looks like you got alot of advice. I didn't read them all, but I had my 15 year old terrier put down a few years ago. I went in with her by myself because I didn't want her to be alone. It was very hard to watch and the hardest part was watching them carry her out (we lived out of state at the time and I didn't want to bury her there). If/when I have to do it again, I will ask the vet for an appropriate medication to make her sleep before we take her to be euthanized. I wish my pup would not have been at the vet's office for her last memory. Next time I'll hold her on the couch or bed with me and let her gently go to sleep with me in a comfortable home setting. Then I'll take her to the vet and be with her, knowing she is not aware and her last thoughts were of home. Just an idea....

i went through this with my dog stormy (a 10 year old Norwich terrier) we also took him to the vet and they said he was suffering so we did the right thing and put it down. it was hard but he was no longer in pain. i also had to put down MY dog last january who was 15 years old. i had gotten him when he was a puppy when i was 7 and he was my buddy through loosing my father and other things in my life. i actually had that dog in my life longer than my dad! even a year later i still cry over him. but i did what was best for him. he too couldnt control his bowels and couldnt walk. good luck i know this is really hard. im so sorry you are going through this

we had to have our 11 yr old cat put to sleep a few years ago. it was hard but we knew it was right. he had been bleeding from his stomach for a month and no vet could figure it out. i was cleaning blood constantly. then the last week he pretty much stopped eating and dropped from 18 lbs to about 8 or 9 lbs and he would not hardly move so we knew we had to do it. this will be the hardest thing you have to do but go with what is best for your dog. good luck

D. - I don't know if there is any easy way to deal with the loss of a pet. I was 13 when we put down the dog I had since I was 2. We took her to the vet and my dad asked the him to give me and my dog a few minutes together. I remember telling her that I loved her and that everything would be ok all while my heart was breaking. However, my voice and words, I believe, made her feel safe and ok because she stopped shaking and gave me a smile. I wrote a letter to her to place in the box we made for her which helped me. I also had to put down a cat about 12 years ago and that wasn't any easier and and I was 30 at the time. I think you just have to know what is best for the pet because he/she may be suffering and you don't want that for them either because of our selfishness. I know it sounds crazy but if this is what is being recommended, talk to your pet and explain what needs to be done because you love them so much you don't want them to hurt. Its going to be tough but it will get better I promise then take time afterwards to grieve. I have a cat that is 18 and I'm sure the day is coming when I will again, be faced with this decision and I'm now 42. Good luck.

This is a really tough one. We had to put our 5 year old dog to sleep a few years ago because she got cancer and it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But, it had to be done and, at the end of the day, I'm glad that we did what was best for her.

It helped us immensely to have a vet we liked and trusted and who understood our love for our dog. We spent some quality time with her at home, reminiscing about all of our good times together before taking her in. We arranged to go at the end of the day so we were the only one's at the vet's office. My husband took care of the bill before we went into the room so we didn't have to deal with anything afterward. We sat on the floor with her and petted her and fed her some of her favorite food so she could have one last treat. Then the vet put the medicine in the stint in her arm (it was already there) and she laid down and went to sleep. It happened very fast (much faster than I expected) and she seemed to be in no pain at all.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Good luck to you and your family.

M.
www.nomommybrain.com

First off (((hugs))) that is never an easy decision to make.

We just had to have our lab put down a few weeks ago. My 4 year old struggles with it daily. He didn't get to say goodbye though so I don't know if that matters or not. Midnight was 11 years old (would have been 12 this May). I knew the time was coming and one morning after I had taken my 4 yo to school, Midnight couldn't get up. He had had severe degenerative disease in his back, and I knew it was only a matter of time. He was suffering and I made the decision on the spot.

My son cried hard when he realized the dog was gone and we explained to him that he wasn't coming back home. For days after, he saw the dog in the sky. He didn't quite understand heaven though did understand the dog was in the sky with the angels. One day a helicopter was the dog. The next day a large black bird was the dog. One day the dog was sitting on a cloud. It has been almost a month and he still asks when Midnight will come home.

I don't know that him getting to say goodbye would have helped any or not. Other than the first day, he has only cried over it a couple times. He just sees Midnight everywhere and has been drawing pictures of him daily.

I had a Cocker Spaniel who lived to be 15. I got her when I was 6 and she moved out of my parents with me to live with me and my husband when I got married. I was 21 when she died. She was my best friend. She did the same types of things you described about your dog. We took care of her for a little over a month like this. She got much worse so we did end up having to put her to sleep. I know this may not help but it helps me hearing from people who have been through the same things to get some peace about it. When they are with you that long it is like losing a loved one. I hate you are going through this! When "Honey" got sick I fought for her to get better. When they are that old its so hard. She did get to the point where she was suffering. It was hard but it was a relief to see her one last time when she wasn't suffering. I was pregnant with my first child when this happened so you can imagine how hard it was. I was very emotional! I am so sorry and I really hope the best for you and your family! Hang in there!

A couple of years ago we had to put our family pet down. She was 18 years old. By the time we put her down my oldest nephew had lived with her for about 6 years (he was 8). The thing that helped him the most was buying him a stuffed dog of the same breed and putting her collar on it. We all had difficulty, but my nephew had the most. By the time we put her down we all (my brothers and I) had different pets and our own families, but it was still like losing a sibling. Good luck.

We lost our 12 year old lab that was my hubby's before we got married while he was on deployment. I took him in because he started pooping blood and couldn't hold in anything and he died that night.
I told the kids 11, 5, and 2 that Brutus had gone to heaven to be with Grandpa Frank and Uncle Jack.
Everytime we get helium balloons from APplebees or somewhere we send them up into the sky to Brutus and sometimes we write notes on them. "hello Brutus, we miss you" etc.
We still do this and my 11 year old is now 20 and out of the house but the others, and there is yet another, keep the tradition alive.
My sincere condolences. My hubby is still not over losing Brutus and not being here fo rhis last moments. He wants to take every black lab home he sees.