Need Advise on Weaning from the Pacifier

My friend gave me a great idea! When I was weaning my son from his pacifier, we took all of his pacifiers and gave them to a younger friend. She attended the same daycare, so my son brought all of his pacifiers to school and gave them to her. He was weaned in a weekend and hasn't requested a pacifier since. Maybe you could have him give them to his sister and play up the idea of being a "big brother."

My daughter was 3.5 when I took hers away and she was absolutely and completely addicted to it by that time! It solved any problem she had and was her comfort for everything! I admit I was partly to blame for her having it so long...it kept her content in the car and it stopped crying in seconds! Why would I take that away?! But...we did the binky fairy and it went OK. And I cut the tips off ALL the binkies we had in the house and threw them away because I knew I would cave and give it to her if I didn't! We still went through a few hard nights and car rides and it broke my heart to see her want it SOO badly. I was glad it was the "binky fairy" that took them though, because she has some extreme bad feelings towards that darn fairy for taking her binkies! I think 8 months is a little young to take it away, but it would be near impossible to only take it away from the older one. In the end, you just have to be strong and tough it out and it will get better. The sooner the better. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to take it.

My daughter had trouble weaning off the pacifier. We tried everything - even telling her that they were lost or gone. Then she would find one somewhere and boy were we in trouble! I finally ran into someone who told us to cut the tips off. That way there is nothing for them to suck on. It worked and in about 2 weeks we were pacifier free! Hope that helps. E.

One thing we did was to start setting boundaries for the binki. First, we wouln't let it out of the car if we went anywhere. Then, it had to stay in the house. Next, it was only allowed in his bed. Then we narrowed it down to only nap or bedtime, not both. Then, he eventually was done. The other motivator that he had, was that he wanted to chew bubble gum, and we told him that he wasn't old enough until he got rid of the binki. So, finally, he put it in the trash for the trash man and got his bubble gum!

I went through this with my daughter. She was three when I finally got her broke of hers. I tried cutting the end off and she still sucked on it. I was also afraid that she would chew a piece off of it and would end up choking on it. I took her to Build a Bear and let her pick out an animal and we put it in there. She only had one left by that time. She could feel her pacifier in the giraffe. I told her that this was her special animal and that she did not have to share it with any one else. She slept with the giraffe for many nights. I was blessed that she did not cry for the pacifier in the middle of the night. When she would ask for it I would hand her the giraffe and together we would feel around on the giraffe for the pacifier and once it was found she was fine and understood that I could not get it back out. Even now she still will find the pacifier and tell me that her pacifier is still in her giraffe. She is not as attached to the giraffe as she once was. She is now 4. This worked great for me.
I also have a now 16 month old so when we brought my son home from the hospital he had the hospital pacifer, my daughter came out of my room saying yuckie. It took me over an hour to find out what was yuckie. Once I did I found out that it was my sons pacifier. I made sure that he did not have any other pacifiers then the hospital one. He did not take to the pacifier like she did so I do not have to worry about breaking him of it. At times I wish he did because maybe he would sleep through the night.
I know that your 2 year old may not understand why his sister still has one but I think that 8 months is too young to take the pacifer away for good. I would only let her have it at bedtime and nap time.

With both of my boys, from the time that they were 1, they were only allowed to have their pacifier in their beds. We kept all of them in a small caddy that hangs on the side of the crib along with a couple of board books and flashlights (they both loved them!) If at any point durring the day they asked for their pacifier we would put them in their bed. There was some crying at first but they quickly got the hint that they were only for bed/nap/rest time. We did make an exception to this rule whenever we would travel because it was usually anywhere from 4-12 hours in the car.
With our daughter, now 11 monthes, I am using this same process. We started a bit earlier with her and it's working great! She gets up in the morning and spits it out without even having to be told to now.
Good Luck!

Hi V., I understand your concern. Have you tried poking a hole in the pacifier with a straight pin or needle? This worked for us. It would still look normal to the "little guy" (no tip could equal "get me a new one") With the small hole, it looses it's "power" so to speak. We would even buy a brand new one secretly put a hole in it and give it to our son, and would throw our arms up and say "they must all be like that" Good Luck!!

When my kids were little, we came up with the pacifier fairy. The pacifier fairy, like the tooth fairy, takes the pacifier and replaces it with a special toy or reward. My youngest was not as thrilled by the pacifier fairy as the first two, but when we did a couple of pacis at a time, she came around.

We had a Bye-Bye Pacifier Party. We hyped it and hyped it. Abbey (who was 2.5) got to pick the Little Debbie Snacks and she and her older sister each got to invite one friend. We tied the pacifiers to helium balloons and let them go. I know that must be weird for whoever ends up with a popped balloon and a pacifier, but that was the best option. Just trashing them would have broken her heart. Also, she might have found them again before the trash went out. We told her they were going to help some other little girl who needed them because Abbey was a big girl now. We still had a rough week or so going to bed (the only time she used them) and naps have become non-existent since giving them up. But, she doesn't talk about it anymore. Good luck.

We weaned all our kids around 8 months... if they lost it at night and cried we let them cry back to sleep. It worked well for all three of our kids ages 7, 4 and 1.

Due to the above, I have no experience weaning an older baby/toddler. Two things friends of mine have tried include:
Cutting the tip so the paci is "broken"... the suck is ruined and the child is angry but leanrs to deal because mommy does not know how to "fix" the paci.

The other thing a friend of mine did was to pack them in a ziplock bag, let her daughter decorate them all fancy and gift them to a new baby who needed them more than she did... in this case it was my son. She took a few days of being reminded that she was big and the baby needed the pacifiers more. She got over it quickly though and still liked my son (the paci hog. LOL

Good luck!

With my daughters I just tossed them out, told them that they no longer made pacifiers, and dealt with the fits for the first few days. After about a week they didn't even ask about it. Cold turkey is the best way I found to do it. :)

Hello V.. With my 1st child, during the day, I started giving him a pacifier while he was on my lap. As soon as he wanted to go play, he would have to give it up. He soon realized that it was much more fun to go play than sit with his pacifier. This didn't take long. Days were binky free. The night time was difficult. We used the cold turkey approach. Two nights. No fun. However, he was fine after that. I should say, he slept better than before. Since he didn't wake crying because he lost his pacifier. Him sleeping better = mom and dad sleeping better. Two nights was nothing compared to the many nights I had to wake up before.

A friend gave me a suggestion that I am going to try with my little girl. She said to clip the end off the pacifier. They will still have the comfort of holding it, however, it will be pretty much useless. I can't tell you for sure if this works but I am going to give it a try when the time comes.

I think "passing them down to a baby that needs them" is unsanitary (you might want to boil them first to pass to a sibling, but most places do not accept pacifiers or nipples for donations). You can PRETEND to donate them, then trash them when he isn't around.

One mom told me that having the toddler himself put them in the trash gave the child a sense of empowerment and 'closure' and was able to move on fairly quickly.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends a pacifier while sleeping for the first six months to reduce risk of SIDS. My pediatrician told me the earlier you break the habit, the better. Best of luck!

I took the same approach as some of my siblings did with their children. I cut the tip of the pacifier off and gave it to her (18months at the time and she only used it to sleep). She cried during the first few sleep periods then was fine. My brother did it with his son. His son took one suck and said "It broken" and threw it away.
Caution my sister did it with her daughter and the nipple part came off of the plastic part. It's not supposed to but it did.
Otherwise take it way and stay strong. He will adjust(after he has made it a little hard on you). =)

Hi V. for some reason kids especially little ones learn to manipulate and want to control things so choices were always best for me but I would try sippy cups and I would tell them this is what grown up people do they get cups it worked for mine and you could even just put a flavor on the tip and say see it even taste good lol but evey child is different I my boys were thumb suckers and hes 19 and still does it which people have problems with but he dont its a comfort zone for him sometimes kids need comfort things and/or places to have but both my boys had dx too i never used binkeys I loved the story about the trash man that was awsome to do how about a blanket to keep or a small toy a sippy cup was a drink with a lid to sip out of and then she could suck on iteven without fluid in it also mabey her teeth or gums hurt her for new growth and the sucking comforts that but gl and tc hope something helps D.

Hi V., I agree with Katie--I would just wait until the baby gets older, at least till 18 months and then try it. It will make everybody alot happier!! My youngest had his till 3.5 and life was good. I think I need one now, I have TEENAGERS!!!! LOL
M. B.

Another mom was asking about this a couple of months back. Here's what I shared.
Oh boy...I feel your pain. I tried everything to get rid of my daughter's and nothing worked until I stumbled upon the Binky Fairy idea. She had 3 of her "favorite" pacifiers" so we didn't go cold turkey. Each night we'd put one of the binkies under her pillow and each morning she'd wake up to a little present. She was so into it she was excited to go to bed and give the next binky to the fairy. I told her when we got to the last binky, she'd get a really special present because the binky fairy was thanking her so much and was so happy that she was a big girl now. So, that last night she went through a bit of angst, put the last binky under her pillow, pulled it back out to say goodbye to it and put it back under her pillow. She cried a little and I even asked her if maybe she wanted to wait one more night but she said, "Noooooo! I want my present!" I was so proud of her determination. She cried some more but with a brave and determined front. She eventually fell asleep and woke up to brand new sparkly red "Dorothy Shoes." She was so excited about the shoes she forgot all about the binkies. I was shocked at how easily it worked because she was vehemently attached to those binkies!

As for your 8 month old. I would tell him that he's a big boy and that his sister is still a baby. Since he's a big boy he doesn't need one anymore.

Supernanny had a similar approach on one of her shows. She told the boy about the Paci Fairy and that when a big boy grows up he mails his Paci's to the Fairy and she thanks him so much she mails him a gift back. The little boy put his pacifiers in a big envelope and put them in the mailbox. He did have a bit of a hard time getting to sleep but he did it. The next day he checked the mail and there was a big envelope full of little toys for him. The parents were amazed that he never asked for his pacifier again. Good Luck!

I did the cut the tip off, it worked great

Hello V.!
I understand your dilemna! This sounds really cold, but the doctor recommended that we just throw the pacifiers away and don't give into buying another one. Fortunately our son handled it really well. It sounds like your son is ready too, especially since he doesn't have one all day at child care. As far as your 8 month old daughter...that's kinda tough. I'm sure she still uses the pacifier for suckling comfort. Does she still breastfeed or drink from a bottle? I would agree with your method of weening her at the same time. Then, you won't have to fight the battle the second time down the road.

Take care! May God give you the strength to endure the weening process!

S.

Hi V.,

I understand about the it being different at the babysitters house. I myself am a home child care provider and my daycare kids are the same way. But for what it's worth here are my suggestions:

With your 8 month old: Tell you provider to only start letting her have it at naps and then you only allow her to have it at bedtime. Let your provider keep one at her house where she sleeps at. So in the morning take the pacifier out and put it back in her bed. Then when she gets to your providers house and she goes down for nap she will see it again. Then when she is up from nap do have your provider do the samething, leave it where she sleeps and then she doesn't get it again until bedtime.

For your 2 yr old: When he gets up in the morning tell him it has to stay at home. And it can't go with him to your providers house. And he can't have it again until it is bedtime. He will probably throw a fit but you will just have to be stern about it and this is what is gonna go on now. The same goes for your 8 month old a little harder but if she can go without it most of the day at your providers house it shouldn't be to much of a problem.

Regarding the 8 month old... Both of my sons went through a short time between 6 and 9 months old when they were not as interested in the pacifier. (I think it's around the same time when they are wanting to put everything else in thier mouths!) When my first son did this, we went back to the pacifier after this stage and then had to break him from it around 2 years old. So when my younger son got to this stage, we just put away the pacifiers and he never missed them. It has been interesting to notice that he seems to have so many more fun and delightful facial expressions, that his brother probably had too, but we didn't get to see because of the pacifier.

So I would advise that if your 8 month old loses even a little bit of interest, just put away her pacifiers and she'll hardly miss him. Sometimes I think we as parents are more addicted to them than the kids because it's an easy "off" button for noise and crying!

My sister in law told me that something that worked really well for her best friend's little ones is to take the binkies, tie them to a favorite balloon, and send them up to heaven for the babies in heaven who need them. I thought that was touching and cute. Anyway, it's a thought. Just another idea! :)
My kids are older. I had one who was a thumbsucker and one who was a total binky junkie! lol. So, how I did it was total cold turkey. It sounds harsh but it was to me like a bandaid...just rip it off quick and get the pain over with! Parenting is always full of those uncomfortable things we have to do that we are "punished" more than the child,lol. I do think that no matter how one doesn't it it isn't a barrel of fun for a short stretch there!
As far as your 8 month old...that's a tough call. I think she could still benefit from having hers. Maybe you could try to limit hers to only at sleep time and then that way you have more control over the access! :)
Best of luck! If it makes you feel any better...when we broke our daughter of her pacifier it was only a couple of days that were rough. Then she was fine. Kids are resilient! Take care!

At this age, you are setting the boundaries for your child and allowing what your child has/uses, so you can either just throw out all pacifiers and deal with the fits or you can gradually limit the use and eventually ween them off. Depending on the age of the child, you can start teaching them that big kids don't use binkis...If the child has an older sibling, this can sometimes work because he/she wants to be like his/her own sibling(s). Some kids tend to ween themselves off; however, I wouldn't rely on this method because not all do. It is your job as a parent to teach your child to deal with change. They will come to accept change by seeing how you deal with it; the same goes with pain or anything else around them and you. Be the example and set the boundaries young, being consistent is key.

One thing I have learned is out of site out of mind. I was taking my daughter to the doctor for a check up. He noticed she still had her pacifier, he told me to quit giving it to her. She was too old (about 3 years old). He said just take it away and she will forget about it. I took all of them and put them away. She did ask for it a couple of times. I just plainly told her they were all gone. She stopped asking after a few times. I will tell you this because she had it soo long, the pacifier ruined her front teeth. It looked like she didn't have any front teeth, they were so worn down. So sooner then later is better. I hope this helps.

This is so much tougher than some realize. We finally took an approach with our oldest and then tried it with the other 2 and it worked each time. My oldest is 10 and still gets a kick out of telling the story.

We would watch for the garbage man on our normal pickup day. Week 1 I ran them to the window and pointed to the truck, 1 of them we even went outside and waved and he honked. I told them there are new babies with no "binky" (what we called it) and they needed one bad. We were going to be nice and have him take it to those little babies. Of course, we wrapped it up and put a pretty bow on it and then easily placed it in its own trash bag! We even decorated the trash bag with colored permanent markers and then placed it in our can. Even at 2 they really thing they are doing something special. You can even look up children from other countries online and show them pictures and just point and say "he has no binky, awwwww" and then do it.

We watched as the trash man picked it up and waved. Then I applauded and say "Good Job". You can do all kinds of fun and silly things.

This may sound really wild, but it honestly worked with all my kids and it was gone forever!

My kids were all weaned from the pacifier before they were 9 months old. I figured you have to get rid of that before the bottle at 12 months which must have made it a lot easier because we didn't have much fuss with getting rid of the pacifier or the bottle.

My first was weaned from the pacifier at 3 months. He had a one of a kind pacifier and it fell apart so when we went to replace it he wouldn't take any other kind and the one he started with we couldn't find anywhere so he fussed a day or 2 then was fine without it. He weaned himself as he didn't like the other types of pacifiers.

Our 2nd child had colic for 5 1/2 months but she was off the pacifier by 9 months. We just simply took it away and she fussed for 2 nights usually at bedtime but got over it after 2 nights.

Our 3rd child was pretty much finished with it at around 6 months. He kept throwing it out of the crib or across the room so we just quit giving it to him. He also weaned himself from the bottle around a year as he would throw his bottle down when we would give it to him so we just started giving him sippy cups instead--he was happier with that.

It is easier to wean them from the pacifier before they are a year old because they don't get so attached to it. Pacifiers are good for young babies as they have a need for sucking more and you don't want to be feeding them every hour or everytime they want to suck on something but after 6 months they start losing that need so makes it a good time to start weaning them from it.

As for the bottle. My first I didn't know when they were supposed to be weaned from the bottle so he went to the doctor at 14 months for a check-up and they asked me if he was still on the bottle. I said yes and asked when he was supposed to be off of it and the doctor told me at 12 months so we took his bottle away that night and he never got it again. He fussed that night but didn't fuss anymore for it after that.

2nd child we just took her bottle away at 12 months. She fussed a little but was fine also in a day or 2.

3rd one kept throwing his bottles and several of them actually cracked even though they were plastic. We had hard tile floors in military housing so those bottles had hard falls and would crack open from his throws lol. Anyway he weaned himself before he was a year old.

I also started introducing the sippy cup at 4-6 months old during their cereal or baby food meals. They would get the cup instead of a bottle when eating in the high chair. I would make up their bottle before the meal usually 6 ounces and pour a few ounces in the sippy cup for their mealtime then give them the rest of the bottle after they were done eating in the high chair.

With weaning from the pacifier or the bottle, you have to be consistant and if they fuss they will get over it in about 2 days. It is hard to go through it but don't give in or you will lose the battle and it will be a lot harder as they have figured out that if they cry and fuss enough they will get what they want. Just stay strong. Most babies I have seen go through this all got over it in 2 days so if you can endure their fussiness for 2 days you will make it.

What I am currently doing with my daughter is she only gets the paci when she's in her crib. My son has the same rule. This works well. There were a few days when I first made the rule that were difficult but for the most part she's doing great..and he doesn't know anything else.

She is almost 3 and he's almost 1.

For the 2 year old, I would start talking with him that this is going to be happening and set a time like in 2 weeks the binkey is going bye bye. Every day remind him of like how many days are left. I did that with my daughter and we did it on a weekend so the sitter didn't have to deal with it. She was broke in 2 days but they were the most drama filled 2 days of our lives:-) She would still ask for it so I would just remind her that she was mommy's big girl now and she didn't need it any more. Good luck, it's not easy but stick to your guns and don't give in!

We just did this not long ago. I used the binky fairy method. I saw it on Nanny 911 a few years ago. My sister tried it with her son a couple years ago and it just worked for my daughter, also I have an 8 month old. All you do is tell your child that you have to gather up all the binkies in the house so that the binky fairy can take them to babies who need them and don't have any. Then tell you child that they have to leave the bag outside overnight for the binky fairy and in the morning they will find a present from the binky fairy. The key is to get a good present from the fairy. Also, I think it helped my daughter to gather them herself and put the bag outside herself. She thought she was sooo big. She asked about her binky for about 3 days but hasn't asked for one since and her baby sister still has one. She has never tried to take hers. Hope this helps.

I weaned my daughter off her pacifier at around 18 mos. I talked to her about it for a few days before actually doing it and it seemed to help her understand a little. Even thought it seemed like she wasn't understanding or paying attention to me she soaked up some of it. And she only asked me for it once it was gone. You have to stand you ground and explain that pacifier is gone. I understand your concern for your situation with the infant child using the pacifier still. I don't have any experience with that, but talking to your child is a great way to start before doing it.