Moms, you all helped me so much with my last request and I know you can do it again.
A coworker found out a few years ago that she had cancer. Our group here at work has been making sure her family has gifts at Christmas time because she has been really too week to shop, but has helped us with ideas for her kids and husband. Unfortunately, she has recently taken a turn for the worse. She cannot see, doesn't eat/drink much and is in and out of conciousness. I know that her family will be more concerned about her this Christmas than Christmas itself. But we still want to make sure there is something under the tree for them. Do you have ideas for her and her husband? More importantly, their two children (boy age 11, girl age 17)? If any of you have been in or close to such a situation and can offer some advice, I'd really appreciate it. My coworkers want to help, but we don't always know what to do. Thanks!
Gift cards work great, then they can get what they want rather then you guessing. I hope everything works out! Good luck
I recently found some great books about grief at the christian bookstore near my home. There were age appropriate sections and some leaned more heavily into religion while some did not. I also feel that anything comfort food related is helpful...drinks, cookies, sandwich platter, lasagna, etc. I know that when I was a caregiver, I did not want to think about food, didn't have time to go to the grocery store, and all the food that was brought to the house seemed extreme, but my gosh, we ate every bit of it thankfully! It was the single most thoughtful offering! In terms of gifts...anything to make a family memory/scrapbook, movies, cds. I love the gift cards idea too...so helpful. I recently bought some items from Things Remembered with the loved one's name on it, i.e.: "Team Smith" for the little boy...they have a football jersey type of dog tag, maybe a bracelet for the 17 yr. old with her mom's name on it with something like "always in my heart"...I bought these on sale...it was not expensive at all! Good luck...and how wonderful of you to think of this family! It is good people like you that make the journey easier!
Maybe each of you that want to contribut can leave cards that say things like " i will clean your house" or "i will make dinner for your family" just things to help them
Since it sounds like you all are very close to her, I'm sure she has told you all some great stories of times her and her children have had. Maybe you can get some pictures of mom and kids and add stories she has tol. Put them in a digital storybook. Even if you don't do this now, you might save this idea for later. It will be special for her kids to read these stories and see the pictures all together later.
Anything you do will be remembered, but sometimes just letting the kids know you are near if they need something or want to talk helps a lot.
God bless you all for helping this family.
We live with a stage IV cancer patient who has been really sick & then bounced back and is currently doing great after being on deaths door last spring. With that said I will say that when they are so sick like that it beocmes the whole focus of the household. Since we are a large family with 4 kids we have learned that just getting out of the house for a little fun is a big thing and something needed for everyone's spririts!
Maybe a gift that would send Dad & the 2 kids for a day or night of fun somewhere? Hospice could help sit with mom. Mom wont be focused on any gifts. When she is conscious she will just want to be with her husband and kids. Dad and the kids are going to need to learn to give themselves occassions to create new memories and allow for fun and joy to give them the balance back from all the sadness and grief that surrounds this horrible disease.
While we could not get it done in time for Christmas, I could help the family with a nice digital scrap book for her. Or, for the family at least. It is fairly simple to do, and a treasure that will last a life time. You could do a gift certificate for the product now, that they could put together later if you would like. Feel free to PM me, and check out my website for a bit more information. Hope they have a wonderful holiday season! ~A.~
www.startstorybooking.com
My son is 11 and we are getting him an inexpensive MP3 player for christmas. You can find them for about $20-$30. The 17 year old can always use gift cards I am sure.
I don't know if the places like Super Suppers is in business anymore, but to make and delivery a bunch of ready to go frozen meals would be helpful I'm sure.
Maybe if everyone wanted to pitch in for a cleaning service to come for one thorough cleaning of the house. I am sure that has not been high on their priority list.
For your friend, a quilt with scripture all over it so she can cover herself in scripture.
I'll be praying for this family. How awesome she has y'all to think of her and her family during this difficult time!
Well, i-tunes gift cards are always good.
I vote for the casserole/food brigade and house cleaning. If you can get a few people to make them double dinners (one for delivery night and one for the freezer - if they have room). Be sure to have folks put them in dishes that don't need to be returned. Also, when I was bed ridden, fresh, cleaned, cut raw fruit and vegetables were soooo welcomed. It's been 13 years and I can still see and taste that basked of washed fruit.....my family feasted on it.
Blessings to you for doing this.
My mother passed away in May of this year from breast cancer. I know your co-workers kids are younger so I'm trying to think how I would have felt losing her back then. I think it would have been much worse. And for children that age getting presents is much more important that it is to me now. I'm 32 and if my mom had passed away at Christmas time getting a gift would have been lack luster. How could I enjoy any gift when losing someone so important to me? A more meaningful gift like a donation to cancer research, or even something closer to home like giving to her cancer support group would have been far more special to me and my family. But considering the kids ages I would suggest doing both. Not so much on the gifts for the 17 year old, but the 11 year old may feel like he's losing not only his mom, but Christmas too. And then do the donation as well. I think the closer the donation is to her specifically the better. After my mom passed, and now still, I want to fight cancer so that no one has to live with what I live with. Her husband and the rest of the family, I think, will really appreciate the donation.
D.,
My mom's last CHristmas was similar. She was just not "there"... I can tell you that memories become VERY important. If your group went together and maybe bought the family a digital camera... they are VERY affordable now. (We LOVE our Nikon Coolpix. It's easy, easy to use and takes phenomonal pictures as well as short videos.)Young boys like jersey's. Can you find out "his" team?
The husband will certainly NOT be worried about Christmas for himself, but will likely wish he could make it better for his kids. He might enjoy a set of tickets to take the kids to a movie on Christmas Day (The new Avatar movie is coming out)while someone stays with his wife. A chance to get out of the house, but with a set time limit, is sometimes a great reprieve. The movie thing is a great way to cope with the whole feeling of Christmas being "different" now. It also offers a way to cope with future christmases when mom isn't here. A new tradition so to speak.
Spending time together is also important. What about a box of games. Make a mishmash of Cards, dominoes, Board games etc... things they can do in the room with mom.
Facing the facts means that the time is fast approaching that they may all need something new to wear. Gift cards for the Buckle would please the 17 year old, as would Express. I'm not *as* familiar with boys apparel, but perhaps J.C. Penny or Sears? Macy's also has had some GREAT sales on recently.
You are a blessing to this family. May God bless you this season.
T.
