B.-
Merry Christmas to you! Hope this doesn't come across the wrong way... But I'm wondering if maybe you aren't too excited about the holidays yourself for some reason (past memories, feel lonely, only you would know) and your daughter picks up on this? Or maybe you are wanting a "Kodak moment" kind of holiday in which your daughter is radiantly happy and excited, and you are waiting for her to give this to you, and maybe she picks up on that...so therefore grudgingly participates in what you offer her?
Another thought is maybe you are being too "adult" in your ideas for how to present Christmas to her - what does she like? When she wanted to decorate the tree, why did that end up not being fun for her? Were the ornaments breakable so she couldn't be free to handle them like a child would? Were there rules about "small ornaments on top of the tree, big ones on the bottom" so it felt more like a rule-fest than fun? (That was from my childhood there, I hated trimming the tree!!!!!)
I don't think the specific "traditions" you do with her are what matter. I think what matters most is that your daughter sees that YOU truly like and value whatever it is that you are doing, you are having fun, and that you are having fun spending the time with her. Also take into consideration what would be fun to a kid her age - would a 1/2 hour ride in a car seat to look at Christmas decorations through a car window be fun for her? Maybe this would be fun for her, maybe not - you know her best. Maybe just reading Christmas books from the library, or watching a holiday video with a mug of hot cocoa and sitting in Momma's lap would be most fun. Also, perhaps try to include some of her or your friends - excitement is catching, you know!
Try not to stress out about it, and I hope you enjoy your holiday!
T.