Need Encouragement

Updated on July 31, 2009
C.C. asks from Little Elm, TX
82 answers

Okay moms. My brother and his wife just threw they're 3 year old a birthday party at Pump it Up. It was awesome and fun, and it cost a ton of money. My little boy is turning three in two weeks, and we cannot afford such a party. We're having a party at our house, which after tonight, sounds incredibly boring. I was planning on letting the kids draw with sidewalk chalk and play with water guns in the yard. I am also planning on making cupcakes in ice cream cones and letting everyone decorate their own cupcake....I'll have like 8 different bowls of icing and toppings....(m&ms, toffee bits, sprinkles, etc.) I thought all of this sounded great until tonight, and now I think everyone will see our party as very "second-rate" compared to my brother's. I need some encouragement or even some ideas to make my cheap party spectacular. Seriously, we're spending less than $100 on "party" supplies including snacks, cupcake stuff, and decorations, and that $100 is a lot for us.

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So What Happened?

Ok, you guys are awesome. Thank you all so much for your responses. Tyler and I went out for "mommy and me night" on Friday and picked out his birthday supplies. The theme is "firetrucks," and he's very excited. Your responses brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for the reassurance and encouragement. I feel a lot better. I really like the idea of the "giver's chair" too. I'm definitely going to incorporate that! Thank you all so much.
Love,
C.

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E.C.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds like the kids will have a blast!!! You are not thowing a party to impress the parents. Kids at this age really don't compare; they are living in the moment. Anyway, it sounds like they may have even more fun b/c it is different.

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D.F.

answers from Dallas on

Nothing makes a mother feel more foolish than to see that another mother spent a fraction of the money, but used 10 times the creativity, to entertain kids who have no clue of what costs what.

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

Just an idea...my three year old LOVES water balloons. It would be fun to do along side the water guns.

Remember have fun!

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R.D.

answers from Dallas on

Hi C. - Remember, the party is for your son, NOT for other people. Do things that you know he will enjoy. I have family and friends that spend tons bday parties but I keep it simple. We invite people over, have the pool set up or bounce house, balloons, bubbles, cake, ice cream and whatever food we're having. The kids love being together and having fun, it's the grown ups that take all the fun out of things. Relax, enjoy and stick to your budget. Family Dollar has pools for the little ones from $80-$10; they even have the inflatable beach balls.

Hope this helps.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.S.

answers from Tyler on

I know you have already gotten a ton of responses..but just more encouragement. I gave my son a "pump it up" type party when he turned 4, but the rest of his parties have been at home. When he turned 5, we did a slip and slide in the back yard (two of them actually), PLUS the water guns (after the slip and slide got boring). I also bought a balloon for every child and at the end of the party, we did a balloon release. My son absolutely loved it. He turned 6 this year and we did the slip and slide again. Oh and by the way, I got the water guns at the dollar store and gave them to each kid as a party gift at the end.

I think the decorate your own cupcake idea is AWESOME and will go over REALLY well!

Good luck!

-L.

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A.

answers from Dallas on

I have hosted both types of parties and the very best ones were at our neighborhood park with sidewalk chalk, sand toys & hot dogs! They were very low-key. Everyone had a blast & kids & parents alike still comment on the "park parties". No one has ever mentioned our Boomerangs or Chuck E Cheese parties again. I think it was the low-key, no rush feeling that everyone could do what they wanted and sit back & enjoy! I am sure your party will be a smash hit!!! By the way, I've never met a kid that didn't like to decorate their own cupcake!

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J.O.

answers from Dallas on

No need to worry -- the kids will love the party! The water guns alone will be tons of fun. :) And I think the cupcakes in cones idea is fantastic!!

We did the PIU type for my son's birthday in Feb (except we used Bounce U) and last weekend we had my daughter's 1st birthday at our house. The kids that are my son's age (4) had just as much fun, if not more, hanging out in the playroom as they did at BU.

Your party is going to be great and the kids are going to have a ball!!

And a big Happy Birthday to your son!!

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B.M.

answers from Abilene on

Your party sounds great!!!!

We did a cupcake party for my daughter (now 25!) when she was about that age and all the kids loved it. We had two cup cakes for each child, both to decorate but one to eat then and one to take home (no gift bag needed). Her friends that she still sees that were at that party still talk about it!

I am sure the party at Pump it UP (i have no idea what that is) was great, but I am thinking this is a place that is open to the public and the kids could go there anytime. Your son will love his fun party that his mom put lots of thought into instead of just a phone call to make arrangements!

You enjoy it to. Don't worry about what the others think about your party!

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A.W.

answers from Dallas on

girl what u have planed is coo cuz he s only 3 not 16 and dont try to keep up wit the joneses caouse youll go broke lol!!! but your pary sounds just as fun girl dont worry bout it

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B.J.

answers from Dallas on

Your party will be great! If adults are comparing parties, that's not a value to teach the children. The children will enjoy having fun and will remember the fun, not the cost of the parties! Making memories of fun is what matters, not how much you spent. If any adults make you feel bad about the amount you are spending, turn it around on them and ask if superficial values are what you want to teach the children? Should toddlers judge a party based on the pricetag, or the memories of fun? Have a great time! The party will be awesome! :)

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P.H.

answers from Dallas on

Your party sounds precious! Also, I always hear moms complain when they have to go to "Pump it up Parties".

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B.M.

answers from Dallas on

I think your party sounds like lots of fun. The best parties we've had have been the ones at home, with very little expense. Check out www.familyfun.com for some great game ideas.

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B.P.

answers from Abilene on

You are planning a fabulous party! You will end up running yourself into the ground if you try to keep up with every party you are invited to. We had our son's 8th party a month ago in our backyard. We set up tents and sleeping bags, played tag, pretended to have a campfire to tell stories around, and every child got a flashlight ($1.50 each including batteries at Walmart) instead of a goody bag filled with candy and junk. The boys had a blast! Quite often simpler is better...and you will not regret having made fabulous home memories for your son. Happy Birthday!

E.C.

answers from Dallas on

C.,

Stick with me on this... :)

My sister, her boys, my husband, my kids and I are going to Indiana to visit my mom. She called last night and wanted the kids (ages 11, 13, 13, 15) to go to "Warp Tour" (by themselves) and she would pay for the tickets. My husband and I would just have to give our kids spending money when they go. (Keep in mind - we went to a similar concert and ended up spending over $100 on WATER because they turned off the water fountains...)

I told her we were going to have to wait to see if they could go or not because we needed to know that we would actually have the money to give them...

She got really upset. She doesn't understand how we won't have the money.

My point being... what are you supposed to do? If you have $100 for party supplies, then you only have $100 for supplies! You can't pull more out of thin air! And, for the record, I believe birthday parties have gotten completely out of control. What happened to a few friends, cake and ice cream, and a couple of presents? It was special enough for us when we were kids!

At your son's party, I am sure you are going to feel the love in the room between you, your husband and your son. Don't worry about others. Who cares if they are having fun or not? It is YOUR son's party. It is YOUR money.

Are any of them lining up to pay your mortgage, car, insurance, or utility payment?

Let the guilt go. Forget about it. Just have a great party with what you already have planned!

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D.G.

answers from Dallas on

Keep your focus on your 3 year old and not your brother. You child will no doubt have a great time. They just want to be with their friends and play. Relax and enjoy precious time and the smile on his face.

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K.L.

answers from Dallas on

the party you have planned is perfectly appropriate for a 3 year olds birthday! the kids will have a great time with that! you might also get some bubble stuff. . . kids love bubbles!

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S.K.

answers from Dallas on

I think your party sounds great. and you have to remember these are THREE year olds. Cupcakes, sidewalk chalk and water guns are all great. I have a feeling the water guns may be more exciting to the kids than pump it up. Yes pump it up is fun. We have been there for a party too. But kids love water guns. Maybe you could do some water balloons too. That wouldn't cost much money. Maybe you could even entice a couple of older kids (cousins - neighbors ??) to wear swimsuits and let the kids hit them with the water balloons.

We will not be doing big birthday parties except a few times in Allie's life (she's 2 now). I did the same with my son and he is 22 now. Lots of kids had huge parties every year and by the time parents spend 20 or more on a party and buy gifts for their kid I just think that much money is ridiculous. We will do the same as with my son -she can pick what I cook for dinner or sometimes she can pick a restaurant and I will make or buy a cake. We have a pool so we may have some neighbor kids over for cupcakes and swimming party (her bday is in July). But I don't believe in big expensive parties every year. Maybe in first or second grade and then turning 13 and maybe 16. I only had a few parties like that when I grew up. I am not scarred from it and neither is my son. I think if others want to do that it is fine for them but I choose not to for our family. Growing up I thought it was awesome to get to pick what my Mom cooked and to help her mix and bake my cake. We do have a YOU ARE SPECIAL plate and each year my son signed his plate or scribbled on it with a permanent marker. A great keepsake. We have the same for Allie.

DON'T FEEL PRESSURED. A party (especially for 3 year olds0 is how much fun YOU make it and it can be just as fun at home. Oh yeah - a pinata is fun for kids that age too and blowing bubbles. I bet the kids at your party have an awesome time and don't feel like a bad mom because you don't spend 100s and 100s on a birthday.

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K.M.

answers from Dallas on

I think your party sounds great. I have two boys, ages 2 and 5-1/2. I think they would LOVE the things you have planned. Don't doubt yourself....you have a great party in the works. It is certainly not second rate to the one you described. I think it is just as good if not better. Especially the water guns. Have fun!

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S.

answers from Dallas on

I think it is wonderful that you are so involved in actually planning a party for your child -- and he is obviously delighted to be such a part of it!

We had done many a "place" parties -- but for the last few years my children have only asked to have parites at home. Yes, it is a lot more work -- but they LOVE it, and their guests love it because it is so different.

Enjoy your child's special day -- and many more to come! Perhaps you and your son just started a new tradition -- allowing him to come up with the theme each year : )

Happy Birthday!
S.

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R.D.

answers from Dallas on

Your party sounds great! Kids (at this age) don't care about where the party is. The kids are going to have a blast getting wet and playing with icing hello a kids dream come true. don't change a thing, it's going to go off without a hitch. OH, don't forget to have fun too!! That is most important.

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F.M.

answers from Dallas on

I think you're planning a great party! I confess to being one of those Pump-It Up moms...BUT - only because I feel helpless with the idea of hosting a party myself. I'm a wimp. I only used Pump It Up because they do it all for you. If I had the same confidence you have, I'd be saving my money. Pump It Up is overrated for 3 yr olds anyway. Trust me, they won't miss it. I don't have any suggestions to add to your ideas, because I think they are great just as they are.

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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

Hi, C.! Seriously, care more about what the kids will love rather than the parents. You have some GREAT ideas- love the cupcake idea. You could also have some water balloons the kids could play with. Kids LOVE water balloons. You could even do "musical chairs" with the water balloons! :) (Just be sure to let the parents know they will be getting wet.)

Are you using a theme? Character? Anything like that?

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R.V.

answers from Dallas on

C.,

First of all, the party you have planned sounds great and I know your child will love it as will the other children. Your party sounds creative and fun and not "packaged". I was a single mom during the early part of my son's life and money was tight. I always did at home birthday parties until just last year when he turned six and even then, we just went to the park. This year when he turned seven we had a Pump It Up party. I do not understand people who throw elaborate, expensive parties for children who are too young to remember it. Pretty wasteful in these economic times, in my opinion. I think if money hadn't been tight for me I still would have done my son's early parties the same way. At this age it's all about the cake and presents anyway, so just get him a cool cake (whatever he's into) and let your family and close friends provide the presents. I promise he'll have tons of fun and won't feel he's missed out on anything!

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K.H.

answers from Dallas on

Hi C., I'm a 55 yr. old grandmother of 7 & trust me you do not have to keep up with your brother or anyone else for that matter. Please don't teach you child that he has to compete at this age or any age. Trust me simple is better & all he cares about is having a b-day party. I know you want the best for him but he doesn't care. If you start now trying to do as well as someone else you will always be struggling to do so.
Go buy a slip-n-slide they are cheap & he will love that. Makes a great gift too. Your ideas sound wonderful don't feel bad. Maybe on a later b-day you can spend more but he will remember this one. Have a great party.

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

Don't beat yourself up over not having the biggest party. Sometimes the best memories are created in the little moments. Try to focus on creating memories and not just the event. Also try to think about what your son loves. If it is firetrucks maybe take him to the local firestation or something of that sort for some one-on-one time with him so that he has something to talk about that all the other kids will ooh and ahh over. I used to work for one of those party companies and let me just say kids remember it because it is bigger than their immediate lives. But you don't need a lot of money to create a bigger than life experience. Just do something you haven't done before. Also that new crayola 3-D chalk is totally awesome and I am pretty sure it is just the glasses that make it cool. I haven't looked into it yet but if there is a way to get a party pack of those that would be something most of them have never seen. I planned before my daughter was even born that her birthday would be her day of the year to have a super day not all her friends. I will always bake her cake and do everything at our home or the park, until she is old enough to help with the planning. I think your party sounds fun.

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S.W.

answers from Dallas on

I think your party sounds great. Our family is also on a limited budget and big parties for the little kids have never been a priority for us. Every party we have ever gone to has been "extravagant" in comparison and I understand completely the way you are feeling. I have been in your shoes many a time. (we have 3 kids- 15, 5, 1 1/2) We did once have a party many years ago at Planet Pizza- kid's had fun of course BUT..... my daughter does not even remember it!

Your party is going to be a lot of fun, and very heartfelt if you ask me. Keep in mind that he is only going to be 3. Do you really think a 3 year old needs a big party at Pump it up? Fun yes, but at 3-very forgettable. Don't feel down.

I guess I don't have any suggestions- I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and I think I would rather my little kid's go to your party over an elaborate party any day. Have fun!

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H.D.

answers from Dallas on

I think the kids will have just as much fun at your party. Maybe check out some games they can play outside (www.familyfun.com, parents.com, parenting.com have many great ideas) or get some small water balloons (fill prior to party so they're ready to go). I've had two small budget parties (one at the local park and one at our home) and all of the kids had fun. As far as the adults opinions... who cares. You are doing something in your budget and that is commendable these days. Don't fall into the "Keeping up with the Joneses" syndrome. That is why our country is in such bad economic shape right now!

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H.H.

answers from Dallas on

C.,
The birthday party situation for this generation is OUT OF CONTROL. On what planet is spending $350+ on a party for THREE YEAR OLDS even acceptable? Let alone expected.

I think what you have planned sounds amazing and charming and a whole lot more fun. First of all, kids just want to have fun and eat cake. Really, my boys are just at the party for cake! So to have a cake topping bar would be a HUGE hit for any age.

I just read this really cute article on Burb Mom about how one mom spent next to nothing on her party: http://www.burbmom.net/preschool-birthday-party-on-the-ch...
The only reason why I stopped hosting parties at home was because I couldn't handle the chaos of 12 5 year olds at my house. So we have hosted parties at parks (free), community pools (kids under 8 are free and I just pay for the adults). All in all it isn't what you spend. The kids JUST WANT CAKE! HA.

Hang in there. I think it is going to be great.

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K.J.

answers from Dallas on

C.,

Just remember that NOT all of can afford that type of party. If the kids are happy and enjoy their time that's all that matters. I would be in the same boat as you since my brother too make way more than my husband and I. I would stick with your orginal plans and be proud of what you two can give your son. WE ALL like to compare ourselves and it makes us depressed if we are the ones in the lower income bracket. Enjoy your son's party.

K.

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L.L.

answers from Dallas on

It is all about the kids- just remember that. The kids do not know how much money is spent on each party. As long as they are together with their friends and having fun playing that is what it all about. My girls are 6 and 8 and every party we go to is the best ever and that is what they want to do for their next party (even the simple ones).
Good luck and have a great time at the party.

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V.A.

answers from Amarillo on

Sounds to me like you are having an awesome birthday party! Just because you didn't go to the expensive place doesn't mean yours is any less fun or exciting for the kids. Just remember these are 3 year olds, not 12, they don't know any different. You might add some water balloons to go with the water guns, you could fill them beforehand and put them in a cooler and they can grab them out as they play. The decorate your own cupcake thing sounds GREAT, they will have a blast doing that. I wouldn't worry, sounds like you have a great party planned and the kids will have alot of fun!!! Sounds to me like you have put alot of thought into your party and made it something for your little one to remember.

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S.F.

answers from Dallas on

I bet you anything that your son will be perfectly happy with the birthday party you will give him :) Are you kidding?!?! Kids will LOVE to be able to load their own ice cream up with sprinkles!! I went to a birthday party last year at a park in our neighborhood, Lantana. And the hostess did the same type of activities - the kiddos climbed all over the playground, colored the sidewalk with chalk and blew bubbles. She didn't even have a cake - she had big cookies with the number on them as the treat for the kiddos. It was absolutely perfect! I know it will be a great party :) Have FUN!

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S.K.

answers from Dallas on

hi C.
your party sounds perfect for his age and its not like he'll remember it anyways!!! Trust me!! My personal opinion is that theres just no reason to spend that much $$ at this age! He's 3!!!! Decorating your own cupcakes sounds great!!! :) you could even let them play in paint maybe? My son just turned 2, we went to the park(free!) and i got a few decorations, had a friend make a cake(shes great and that also was FREE!) It was small and fun....no biggie! When $$ is tight, i've learned "dont compare yourself to anyone, you dont know how in debt it put THEM!" for all you know, it was all on a credit card! It should feel good to know that you're not going in the hole, your son will appreciate it later on!
have a great weekend!!
S.

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C.V.

answers from Dallas on

Now-a-days in society it is so easy to become consumed with what other people will think. Believe me, I do the same thing too. And as a parent (of two girls) my husband and I would love to give them the very best of everything, but we know that we can't and that sometimes it just isn't practical. What you need to focus on is that this party is for your son, so make it about what he likes and what will make him feel special and try not to worry about what other people will think. In the end what matters most is your family unit and you have to do what is best for your family. Stick to your $100 budget and don't let it make you feel bad or second-rate.

By the way, I think your ideas sound awesome!!

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A.D.

answers from Dallas on

Your party does sound great especially for a 3 year old! My 3 year old son would rather chalk and play in the water any day. Do you have a little inflatable or plastic pool? It's perfect for filling water guns! And the other thing my son loves to do is "paint" the sidewalk or the even the side of the house. Buy cheap paintbrushes at Home Depot or Lowe's and fill up little plastic sand buckets from the dollar store with water and let 'em have at it. You can send the buckets home with the other kids as their "goody bags".

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S.R.

answers from Dallas on

Hey C.!
Your party sounds like great fun for little ones! Sometimes parents' views for a b-day party become extremely distorted. I highly encourage you to proceed with your plans. Remember that this is about your baby turning three, not about keeping up with your brother's finances. Children generally just want to run free and eat junk. They tend to generate excitement no matter where or what they are doing, as long as they are doing it with their peers. Take your insecurities and throw them out the window. It will be spectacular and way more personal than Pump it Up.

If I could offer one little suggestion for opening up presents... Have two chairs facing each other, one for the birthday boy and one for the gift giver. Let the gift giver hand their present to the birthday boy and open it infront of them. It makes it so personal and the gift giver feels just as special with the one-on-one attention being paid to their gift. It's very classy and will put you on the "A" list with other parents!

Good luck and a very Happy Birthday to your little one!

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

I don't know your family and friends, but trust me when I tell you your kids are going to look back and see that you cared enough to plan fun for them, not just some event you took them to. My kids say your party sounds like more fun than going to a bounce place for an hour.....Have a blast, maybe get a few disposable cameras and let the kids "help" take pictures of each other! All the other moms had some great ideas too!!!
God Bless you and your sweet little boy.....

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M.E.

answers from Dallas on

I know you've received a ton of replies but I just read your request. We have been to a Pump It Up party and also to a party at Harborgirl. You think these are great because of all the cost that goes into these but kids are not as impressionable, in my opinion, as the adults are. We had a birthday party for my 5 year old daughter last year and it was in our backyard. We had all of her usual stuff that was in the backyard, swingset, sandbox, etc., but we also had water balloons, water guns, small pools filled with water. They had a blast! I had so many moms tell me how much fun their kids had. It doesn't take a lot of money to have a great party. These kids were happy to be outside and do what they want instead of doing what all the adults were telling them to do such as when to play a certain game or when to stop one thing a do another. This was a "do your own thing" kind of party and it was so much fun and you don't break the bank doing it. Hope this helps along with your other million responses! Good luck!

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C.S.

answers from Dallas on

Wow! YOUR party sounds like a blast! sounds like your party will include tons of love which is the part that will be remembered. In my opinion your party sounds a lot lest hectic for the adults to, which they will appreciate!

Also, have you checked into renting a bounce house? I know they deliver, set up, and take down which makes that part easy. I'm not sure of the price though :)

C.

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J.N.

answers from Lubbock on

C.:

The party sounds like a blast!
Jen : )

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C.A.

answers from Dallas on

C., the awesome thing about this is that we are talking about 3 year olds! They love doing just about anything involving food or mess making, especially with other people their size. Fortunately, they have not been around long enough to form snooty impressions about things like birthday parties, they will be THRILLED with what you had already planned.

Trust me, they have little attention spans and all they want to do is eat and play. You are giving them a bunch of activities that are totally fun, don't change a thing, they will LOVE it.

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L.H.

answers from Dallas on

Please, please know that you are doing the right thing. Today's kids are given so much and the parties they are given are outragoues. This breeds an expectation that continues to get worse and more expensive. Kids that have this done all thier lives end up bored eassily and generally have trouble with movitavion and imagination. Simple fun, like you are describing is all that is needed. Maybe add musical chairs, hopscotch and any games that are active. I gave our employees and thier small children a pinic last year and the kids had a blst with water guns, hoola hoops, frisbees all from the dollar store. In end end they kept the toys and where given dollar store prizes. I also googles ideas for games for pinics and parties and there are a ton of activities. Do not feel bad about living within your means your kids will respect you for the effort. In the long run family and love is what matters not what others do and don't do. Believe me with 5 kids we faced all sorts of pressure to buy cars, the best tennis shoes and fully pay for college. Guess what all 5 have gratuated from college, have cars and succesfull lives they did it themselves, We are very close and they respect what we taught them.

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G.H.

answers from Dallas on

C., You don't need to spend a lot of money to entertain 3 year old kids. They don't know the difference anyhow. All they know is Fun. You can play games that don't cost a lot. I think your plans are fine and so will the kids.

Love and Light,
Rev. G. Hudson, Reiki Master.
www.reikigailhudson.com

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A.D.

answers from Dallas on

Your party sounds perfect! I would much rather be in someone's loving home with family and friends listening to the giggles of 3 year olds than to be in some big loud building.
Remember the days when kids were content with a refrigerator box or a hose for hours?
Keep it simple, people will respect you for it, and have a much better time I'm sure.
~A.

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J.G.

answers from Dallas on

First of all, and most important, is your three year old hearing you talk about how his party is going to be inferior to his cousin's party? If so, STOP IT NOW. Secondly, is the party for your three year old about celebrating his birthday or is it about competing with your brother?

Proceed with your party. Be a great hostess by seeing that everyone has a great time. A great party is about the love and hospitality of the hostess, not the price of the cake.

The children will love playing together and decorating their cupcakes. Stop fretting and be confident about who you are and what you are doing.

Have a great time!

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D.D.

answers from Dallas on

Dear C.,

From your description, it sounds like your little boy's party will be perfect! Your son is three--THREE! We've given our grandchildren virtually whatever kind of birthday party they have asked for. Last night, we were talking to our grandson, who will be 11 next month, about what he wants to do for his birthday. During the conversation, he told us the most fun party he's ever had was at our house! Quit worrying about what you can't do for your son and focus on how to make what you can do as much fun as possible.

Grannie Bebe

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

Your party sounds great!! The two parties that my older son has liked the most were simple home parties. At one of them (he was 5) they played traditional "party" games (pin the tail on the donkey, musical chairs, etc) and played outside. He talked about this party for months!! The second was a simple party at the church playground where they played on the playground. They also had bubbles and play balls that were put out, which were a hit! They had a BLAST at this one also!! At 3 years old they just want to play, they don't care about all the extra fancy stuff!!

Honestly, we have always had our parties at a play place just b/c it's easier, but my kids would LOVE to have an at-home party and have both (they are 7 & 4 now) asked for one at one point or another. Your party sounds wonderful. If I were a parent attending your party I would be impressed (and envious) of all the work and thought you have put into the party. Enjoy your party!

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

C.,
Your party sounds awesome! It's very nice that your brother threw a nice party too, but yours sounds just as good to me. To someone else your party may see theirs as "second-rate."

The kids will have a blast and that is what you want. Don't even think twice about trying to compete with your brother or anyone else. My children are grown now and I refused to get caught in that web. My boys never felt they missed out on a thing. Most their birthdays were in the yard or the park playing games. I have one other fun game to suggest. Throw water balloons at DAD! They will love it!

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B.T.

answers from Dallas on

C.,
Don't get sucked into the "one-upping" thing that happens about children's birthday parties. They're just little kids and they will enjoy anything you come up with. Get a Slip 'n Slide, and tell them to bring their bathing suits, and let them get wet and have the fun of the physical craziness. They'll love it, and the slide is very cheap, plus cost of water, which will also be watering your yard. Little kids aren't going to be comparing. That's what adults do, and it's a sand-trap.
Once the kids get older, if you keep feeding into the pressure to one-up parties over and over, it gets more and more outlandish, and they will be expecting so much that at some point you won't be able to keep outdoing your previous efforts, much less those of others, resulting in endless disappointment. Everything you mentioned already sounds like fun, and half the fun is that of the adults who put this crazy thing together. Enjoy. It's only LIFE going on! And Life is GOOD!
My brother and his wife, to stem that huge birthday buildup-expectation thing, actually built in to their child-raising process that each child gets a special birthday party every other year, with a quiet party on the in-between year, alternating with their siblings, so that they keep their own expectations rational as well. The in-between year, the birthday child gets to pick the food, the restaurant, a movie, whatever, but it's all kept purposefully low-key, family-oriented, so that the idea of birthday does not become the end-all, be-all commercial economy-building, parent-as-financial-hostage, advertising monstrosity it has become.
Just another way to think about things.

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L.E.

answers from Dallas on

i don't have any advise i just wanted to tell you that your party sounds awesome. I know of other parents that have spent a small fortune on thier childrens birthday parties. Which is fine if that is what they choose, buti feel as though a 3 year old won't remember that birthday so for the most part the parties are more for the parents anyways.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

Do not let that other party upset you! I'm assuming you are having an at home party in order to save money, or because you are on a budget, or something along those lines...well, that is the SMART way to do it! Having a party that you have to pay for for the next 3 months will not do your son any good. Not to mention, he probably won't remember his party in another year or two. We have $100 per kid birthday party budget b/c it was just getting out of town. They know they can have a few friends and do something (my daughter took friends to the movies) or have a bunch of friends and have it at home. Their choice (they are older though). Keep up the good work and as he gets older and maybe asks for a bigger party, you can do a few things, you can put him on the budget and see where he chooses to spend his money, you can explain the importance of living within your means, or you can save for a big party for some big birthday's like maybe a big blowout when he turns 5 or 10 (double digits) or 13 (a teenager), etc.

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M.P.

answers from Dallas on

Well, I haven't read other responses yet so bear with me if I am repeating anything that has been said. You need to hear this:)

The KIDS will LOVE your party and that is all that matters! Who cares what the adults think? $100 is a lot for us too and my daughter and her friends had a blast at our cheap third birthday for her (also at our house with cake and games). We actually have decided only to do parties for the kids on certain years to cut down on costs. Ages 1, 3, 5, 8, 10, 13, 16, and 18 will get a bigger party and other years they can have a friend or two over for dinner and a cake (maybe spend the night when they're school aged). This way we might be able to save for some nicer parties for ages 16 and 18 especially:). My girls are only 2 and four, but its worked out so far!

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T.B.

answers from Dallas on

I think that is a wonderful party for a child turning two!!! Sounds like you have really thought it out and planned a well rounded and organized event. Those are the parties that your children will remember the most, the ones you planned and gave at your hm. My children are now 18,11 and 5 and the parties we gave them at hm or at grandmas are the ones they talk about the most. Enjoy yourself and this birthday party, as long as you are enjoying yourself your son will also!

R.H.

answers from Dallas on

Hi C.,

I know you've had a ton of responses and I did not have time to read them all so sorry if I am a repeat but I wanted to give my opinion. My family's situation is VERY similar to yours. My sister always throws the BIG parties for her son who is 2 yrs younger than my daughter and I can honestly say it makes no difference to the kids on whose party is bigger or where it was given. They just have fun at a party no matter what and you already have great ideas so don't worry about what anyone else thinks about your son's party.........it will be over before you know it and you'll be asking yourself, why did I ever let myself worry about this? : )
Another "cheap" thought I had for you to add to your party that EVERY 3 yr old LOVES is bubbles. You can buy them cheap at dollar stores, dollar trees or walmart. BTW, the DOllar Tree has a TON of $1 party favors, toys, themes, etc. so if you have one local, check it out.
Enjoy your sons party and don't worry about what anyone thinks!!!

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K.B.

answers from Abilene on

As long as your son enjoys the party that is all that really matters. We usually are in the same boat, not much money for parties, but you are making it unique and sounds really fun. A party to me is what you make it , not how big and expensive it is. The bigger the more they expect the next year and so on. I wish you the best of luck!!! It will be great make it a day your son will always remember.

K. B

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J.G.

answers from Dallas on

I think you're party sounds like tons of fun. I think the kids will have lots of fun. If you're excited and keep it high energy the kids will be excited about it also.

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M.D.

answers from Dallas on

C.,
Something you probably haven't thought of is kids have NO idea how much things cost. As long as you're planning activities that they will enjoy, they're going to have an AWESOME time at your party.

Also, I can tell you that I've chosen to have parties outside of the home because I've thought it was easier than having a bunch of kids at my house and having to entertain them myself. I think you're a brave soul and I think all the other grown-ups will think the same thing.

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J.R.

answers from Dallas on

Hi, C.-
You've gotten lots of great advice, and I see that you've "made peace" with your party. I just wanted to say that I've been there. It seems like each party my son gets invited to is bigger (and more expensive) than the one before it. We have ALWAYS done our parties at home or a local park. Each year, after attending a big, expensive party, I wait to hear my son say that's what he wants for his party. But you know what, he never has! Don't get me wrong, he always has a great time at those parties, but he's never compared his own party to it. Kids have fun being kids- whether at an expensive location or their own backyard. Their birthday is a special day regardless of where it is. I hope you and your son have a wonderful time at his party....it sounds like it's going to be great!

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S.R.

answers from Dallas on

Your party at home sounds great... I teach 3 and 4 year olds and they have an attention span of about 10-15 minutes on each thing if you are lucky. They love to make things their selves and to cook also. If you think you don't have enought to do still throw in a couple of backyard pools for them to play and splash around in. They will love playing with each other and just having plain fun. Your party sounds like they are going to have alot of fun.

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D.W.

answers from Amarillo on

C.
The party is for and about your son not anyone else. Do what you know he likes. You will find that the kids will love to get wet and they will remember what was done at your party alot longer then what they did at your brothers.
It is the love and care that you put into it not the money.
Take lots of pictures and make it the most special day your son could have.
The only way your little boy would compare it to his cousin is if you and your husband don't make the day about him.
Talk about how great it will be to get whoever wet with the squirt gun or waterballoons.
Our boys never got a lot of money spent on their birthday parties either but the kids always liked coming to our parties because we made it about them and fun.
You are on the right track. It doesn't take a lot of money to have the best party all it takes is a lot of love and fun!!
Don't let it be about money or a lot of stuff let it be about kids and fun.
I hope this helps.
Good luck and have FUN!!

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

Your party sounds awesome! I think the kids will have a ton of fun! We are having our schools out party with our kids ages 9,7,5&3 and we are doing dollar store squirt guns and water ballons. I would've gotten sidewalk chalk (my kids love to draw on the side walk) but our dog likes to eat it!
We try not to spend more than $30 on birthdays so no big expencive places for us, but the kids always enjoy just running around and playing! Decortaing the cup cakes is something that has always gone over well at our kids parties! Don't worry about it- all the kids will have a blast and you will have less stress and not had to spend a ton of money.
Have a great time!
~C.

S.M.

answers from Dallas on

never underestimate the power f water guns and a sprinkler!!! we always have small parties too! and they have a great time!

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S.

answers from Dallas on

We have been to several Bday paties in the last 2 months.
2 were at Pump it Up and we couldn't of afford a party like that either esoecially with there weekend rates.

But we also went to 2 parties at there house.

1 have a Painting party and had plastic laid outside and the kids painted a t shirt. All the kids had fun and then
played eat grilled hamburgers hotdogs and the parents and family and friends enjoyed talking and hanging out.

2 party) they grilled also and had a mini bounce house and the kids also played back yard. They seemed to have lots of fun too.

I would think decorating the cupcakes they will love and
I wouldn't worry about trying to do the samething.
They will have fun making a mess. How often do we let them do that !

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L.C.

answers from Dallas on

C.,

I think you should stick to your original plan. I don't know anything about Pump It Up but I am sure it must be fantastic by your reference. However, I can't understand why a parent would want to put so much money into a 3 year old's birthday party when they could get by with so much less while the child is younger and has no expectations. There is still plenty of time to worry about the money factor when they get older and actually do have real expectations. That comes soon enough so why put yourself through the worry of that when you don't have to? I think you just might be surprised at how much fun the kids will have drawing with chalk on the sidewalk and playing with water guns in the yard and decorating their own cupcakes. You might make a contest out of the cupcake decorating and offer a special prize to the most original one but then everybody's is original so they all get the prize. I don't believe 3 year olds understand the concept of money. I think they like to do stuff on their own and that is the opportunity you are giving them. Who really cares what the other parents think? Let them spend all of their money the way they want to impress and you be the smart one and save your money for later when it is really needed. Believe me! Kids can't tell the difference! I am a mother of 3 boys ages 29, 33 and the oldest will be 36 next month. I never spent a lot of money on any of their birthdays. We usually just had their friends over for cake and ice cream and games or sometimes we had it at Chuck E Cheese or Billy Bobs because it was not expensive and it was much easier for me. I think they all turned out okay without any serious psychological damage from it. Now I have a 6 year old granddaughter who has had the same type of birthdays her daddy and uncles had and she seems to be getting through life just fine and the kids always seem to have a great time at her parties. Let me know how your party turns out! I will be anxious to hear all about it. Keep your chin up and go with your first instinct. You won't regret it. In fact, I think you just might be proud of yourself for doing it your way! It will all pay off for you when you see the smiles on those kids faces and hear the excitement in their voices! Best of luck to you!

Sincerely,

L. Colley

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S.R.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter turned 6 last year, and we just had a party for her in our backyard. She does not like cake so I made a large chocolate chip cookie and let the kids decorate their own. They had so much fun! When their parents came to get them, they could not stop talking about decorating their own cookie, my daughter wants to do that again this year for her birthday.

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F.C.

answers from Tyler on

My kids remember the parties we had at the house much more than the 'expensive' parties out somewhere as being more fun. And, at age 3 - my opinion - an expensive party out is an unnecessary extravagance! Not that your brother and SIL did anything wrong or overboard - just not my cup of tea. An at home party with stuff that will keep the kids busy with something that is fun - sidewalk chalk AND cupcake icing - WHAT A BLAST!!! I think you're 3 year old and friends will have a wonderful time! Plus, the parents will actually get to visit with each other instead of having to worry about kids and where they are! I think you're worrying for nothing! Good Luck and have LOTS of fun!

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

My girls' friends have had lots of expensive parties, and we have done lots of inexpensive ones (McD's, Burger King, home, swimming at a friend's house), and the one thing I can promise (especially with 3 yr olds), is that as long as you keep them busy, they will have fun! And your party sounds EXCELLENT! One upgrade you might consider if you can afford the $40 would be to get the Fisher Price water sprinkler park play set from Walmart or Target or ToysRUs- that would upgrade the water play for not a lot of money. And at 3, they really don't need the bells and whistles. Just have fun, don't play the comparison game, and it will be GREAT.

A.

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C.W.

answers from Dallas on

Okay, first of all I know it is easy to get caught up in keeping with the Joneses, or what everybody else is doing. We have a 3 year old and we don't have money to do big parties at fancy places either. Here's what we've done for our child and maybe this can give you some ideas:

1st year- we had a party at home with family and 2 friends of mine. We had a simple cake and opened presents

2nd- Train party- we had a party at Trinity Park Train near the FTW Zoo. They have a covered picnic/party area. My husband and I made a real train looking cake that stood up on its own like a real train. We had the tracks and it turned out so cute. We paid for everyones train ride and that was fun. Everyone enjoyed it and it didn't cost but maybe $100.00 for tickets/supplies/cake supplies.

3rd (the best by far!) Fire Truck birthday party- We had it in a covered area in Trinity Park in FTW. We made a simpler Fire Truck cake. We had lots of fire truck decorations and gave out Fire Hydrant cups as gifts and I got freebies from the City of Fort Worth, like cups, pencils, paper and stickers. I made my own gift bags that had fire trucks foam type decorations that I glued on paper bags (small). Then, after the cake and eating and pictures. We took everyone to the Fort Worth Fire Station for a tour of the Fire Trucks and the station. The adults asked lots of questions and I think enjoyed it as much or even more than the kids! All the Moms were really impressed with it, that we could get a tour and learn all about the Fire Trucks/station. The little ones did get antsy while the Fireman staff were talking and answering questions. I would recommend having older kids or 3 and up for this type of party. It was a blast, it was free to get the tour of the Fire Station. We only spent money on decorations, the cake and drinks. The covered area in the park was free, we made reservations for it. It was awesome and I got a lot of compliments on this afterwards from parents and the kids.

This year we are thinking of doing an ambulance party or a police station/police officer's party. I'm hoping to get a tour of an ambulance or a police officer's vehicle. I need to get working on this! These type parties you can't wait till the last minute, I made reservations a month in advance, however I would recommend 2-3 months in advance.

If you still are set on a "jumping party". We've been foster parents and we belong to the Tarrant County Foster Parent Association. We are having a Silent Auction/Dinner to raise money for the foster kids in Tarrant County so they can all go to Hurricane Harbor and to the Museum of Science and History. We just got a huge donation from the Jumping Party in Fort Worth. The owner is a foster parent and is donating a $200 bithday party for our silent auction. It is on June 27th at 7 p.m. and if you are interested in buying a ticket and then you could bid on the Jumping Party for in the future for a future birthday party. I know it after your Son's birthday, if you want to hold off and have his birthday party later, you could do this as an alternative!

Just some ideas, you might want to check into books on Children's birthday parties. I have one book that talks about creative games, food, creative things to do for a party. You might check at the library, online or buying a book on special parties.

It's not the money you put into that the child will remember. My child talks about the firetruck party all the time and it is almost 1 year after that party! He'll be 4 in Sept. He remembers the train party and he was 2 years old and talks about that when we go on a train or sees a train. He remembers that because that was special and he learned a lot. He is fascinated/obsessed with Fire Trucks, Ambulances and Police Cars and basically anything mobile! What is your child really into or fascinated about? I would base it on that. That's what I've done and it has always gone well and we have great pictures and a great time! It is fun planning it in advance. I hope this helps you and good luck. Let us know what you decide to do. I used to worry about what other people thought about what I do or what I say,etc... However, as I get older, I realize you can't please everyone and it is better not to be concerned about those type things. You have to go on your budget and that may be totally different than your relatives. What is most important is your child and what he would have most fun doing and having as a party. Think about the memories, when he gets older and he looks back on the pictures, what do you want him to see? What kind of party do you think would be the best for him at his age?

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E.P.

answers from Dallas on

Your party sounds like tremendous fun! Wish I would have thought of decorate-your-own cupcakes when my kids were little.

Let kids come in bathing suits and put down a cheap slip n' slide, too. My 24-year-old had a slip 'n slide, water guns, and a small 6-ft. wide wading pool at his 3rd b-day and the kids had a blast. The pool became the "filling station" for the boys and the sit-talk area for the girls.

((OH, if you do get a slip n' slide - - get the one where they slide on their bellies and hit a puddle at the end. Don't buy the expensive one with a SKIM BOARD. Skim boarding is for 12-year olds (!!!) wearing helmets!!))

I also want to encourage you to use SUSAN R's suggestion of using the "giver's chair". Two little chairs, face-to-face, so the giver can sit and hand their present to the B-day kid, and sit and watch the gift opened, and receive a "Thank You" or HUG from your son. I have used the "giver's stool" on Christmas morning for many, many years now. My children learned to focus on each gift they are giving!!

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

The party you are having sounds like it will be A LOT of fun! Stop comparing the party you have planned to the one you just attended at Pump It Up. My son would be super excited to have those activities at his party or one he was attending.

99% of the parties we are invited to are at places such as Pump It Up and the kids do have a ton of fun. However, my almost 6yr old son had all 4 of his first birthdays at the house and my 2yr old dd has had both of hers at the house. The kids always have a blast. We had ds at the ymca indoor pool last year, and this year we are going to a local sprinkler park. We have been away from the house the last 2 years at dh request, not because the parties at the house weren't fun.

It is sooo much more work to have a party at home like you are planning which is why a lot of parents choose to spend the extra money for parties at out of the home locations.

You are setting a great example by living within your means. That is what it means to be a grown up. So congrats to you and dh! Enjoy the great day you have planned for your son.

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G.K.

answers from Dallas on

C., this is a 3-year old we're talking about. He LOVES drawing on the sidewalk and making his own sundaes just as much as playing in the bounce houses! Don't let a special day for your son turn into a competition between you and your brother. This is your little boy's day, and IF he remembers anything about it in 20 years it will be that his Mom loved being with him so much that she sat down on the driveway and colored with him.

Trust yourself and your ideas. You are his Mom, and know him better than anyone else ever will. Letting birthday parties and holiday gifts turn into a competition of who gets the "best stuff" will only get in the way of that.

It took me a long time to figure this out, I hope it helps you.

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

All that matters is that your child has fun at the party. They are turning 3, chances are they won't remember if you coul afford Pump It Up or not. What matters are the memories. My boys are 4 and soon to be 7. We haven't always had money many years to do anything outrageous for them , but they always love their parties. Most of our parties are at our house, even when they aren't we haven't gone to pump it up. It is very exspensive to go there. Worry about memories, not keeping up with your brother. Your kids will remember the effort you put into their parties more than the money you spent. That's what I believe. Enjoy your party at home, how many kids get to make their own cupcakes??? It'll be fun I'm sure.

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

C.,

Please don't be jealous of your nephew's party at Pump It Up. To be honest, my husband and I would never book a birthday party there for our kids. We think it's a fun place to go to for open play for an hour and a half, but not for a birthday party. We have been to Pump it Up birthday parties, and they do nothing special for the birthday person. All you do (as you know) is go from room to room jumping. No special attention is given to the birthday person. Excite Gym in Flower Mound, however, throws a wonderful birthday party, giving lots of attention to the birthday kid. However, I realize money is an issue for you. So, here is my suggestion: I don't know where you live, but if you don't live too far from Monkey Business in Bedford, you should book your son's b-day party there! It is a perfect place for three year olds, and it is very affordable, not to mention FUN, FUN, FUN! You give a $50 deposit in advance, and then on the day of the party, you pay them $5 per kid. They will let you bring your own cake and store it in their fridge. We love that place and its affordability - MUCH better than a Pump It Up party, in my opinion. Another suggestion is to book your son's party at a park district. I know that the Lewisville Park District throws birthday parties (haven't done it there, just read about it), and they will customize the party for your son. A staff member will organize your son's party, and you pick the theme. There will be games and other fun stuff to do for under $100. Give them a call! Best of luck, and please don't be jealous about a Pump It Up B-day party where all you do is jump from room to room!

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K.G.

answers from Dallas on

Keep your plans just the way they are, they're perfect! You are doing everything a 3yo loves! Besides, did you remember your 3rd birthday party??? Spending that kind of money is nuts, in my opinion! We did the first few birthday's at home and then I did some more expensive one's as they got older and it "mattered". I still wish I hadn't started the expensive parties until a little later, because it's so much money... and kids, especially 5 and under, just want to have FUN! I love your cup cake idea and everthing else sounds like it was made just right for 3 yo's! So go for it and have a blast! Silly string is always fun too - get it for a $1 at the Dollar Tree!

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

C.-
Don't fret! Your party will be just as wonderful. My daughter's best friend (whose birthday is the same week as hers & whose friend group overlaps almost 100%) had a party at Pump It Up right after we had one in a public park in FREEZING temps! Almost no one even showed up for our DD's party because of the awful weather, but she had a blast & was just happy that any of her friends came given the weather. She also had a wonderful time at the Pump It Up party for her buddy. They both turned four this year.

Of her four parties, two have been at our house and two have been in the park. We have never spent more than $100 on a party. I don't even buy the "character" paper products. I get bright, colorful plates, cups & napkins at Dollar stores usually.

Little kids don't care unless you do, so appreciate the party you got to attend and think and speak enthusiastically about the one you're going to throw! It'll be all about the cake and the gifts & having friends and family there. After all, I bet no one got to decorate their own cupcakes at Pump It UP! They will LOVE that! Enjoy!!

C.R.

answers from Dallas on

Hi C.,
After attending both kinds of parties I really LOVE the parties held at home. They are SO much more personal and comfortable to be at. Really don't fret and forget about the reason for the party. It's about turning three, not about how much you spend for a party! It's easy to feel pressure about these things because you want the best for your child but who's to say what that "best" is or where it's at! Kids love to get together with their friends and share time playing together. They don't care where they do it at ")
Happy Party Day!
C.

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B.C.

answers from Wichita Falls on

Just had to chime in...your party sounds like a ball! My son will be three this fall, and he would ADORE playing with chalk and water guns with other kiddos! And decorating his own cupcake? He would possibly pass out from excitement! :)

Lots more opportunity for their little imaginations to run wild at your party too! Have fun & God bless!

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J.R.

answers from Dallas on

We've had a fire truck birthday party before too and it was one of our favorites! We toured the local fire station (free) and had hotdogs at the park (really cheap)! The kids played on the playground after they ate and had a great time. For party favors we handed out fire fighter hats. The cake was a homemade dalmation design. Super cheap, but still one that is talked about 6 years later. I love the idea of home parties and just letting the kids play. There are lots of fun parties that we've done that do not cost a lot, like carnival parties, obstacle course superhero parties, water/sprinkler/slip n slide parties. One of the the things my kids always complained about when we had Chuck E Cheese parties was that they really didn't get to play with their friends, and I felt like I was just paying for family outings for other people's kids. You are on the right track, just enjoy your son and the fact that he is a big 3 year old!

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L.R.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds like fun to me, and I can guarantee it'll be fun for the three year olds. As far as the water guns go can I suggest a new style that seems to work better, last longer and be more age appropriate. They sell them at the dollar tree ($1 each). They are a long tube that sucks up the water with a plunger and then they push the plunger to get the water out. Some of the kids might have a problem messing with the traditional style little trigger and plug. The dollar tree is also a great place to get all your party plates, cups, balloons, and favors. I spend so much less there.

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P.F.

answers from Dallas on

Just remember that the party if for your 3 year old, not the adults. The 3 year old will prefer the type of party you are making---at home, water guns, sidewalk chalk, decorate their own cupcakes. You are making memories---memories that mom did her own work and her own creativity to make a fun and happy time for her child---doing things that 3 year olds love--not that she paid a ton of money (3 year olds don't care about that) and not that she paid someone else to create the party. Your party is not just alright, it is actually better.

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V.B.

answers from Dallas on

What you do for your own children is remembered by them as awesome and wonderful memories. You create the warmth and closeness you desire by your own attitude toward them and the planning and include them in the excitement. It is not about money, honey. It is about the actual celebration and fun! Enjoy and quit comparing.

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D.C.

answers from Dallas on

Ok, I'm gonna say this as gently as possible. It isn't a competition. The children and your son will have a fabulous time at your "cheap" birthday as you call it. When we were younger there wasn't a Pump It Up or stuff like that. We had good birthdays at the swimming pool, or at the skating rink or at the park or at home. They were wonderful with no pressure and everyone had a blast. The most important part is that you guys are all together and having a wonderful time celebrating your little boy. Anyone that makes it a competition or has the audacity to say anything about your party in reference to the other party is not a very nice person. Yeah, Pump It Up is a great place, but you get 1-2 hours and that is it. At your party you can have it for as long as you want and it is outside where ALL kids love to be. So, have your wonderful inexpensive birthday and play lots of games, like simon says or red light, green light. Go get some hula hoops and let the kids play with those. They are like 4 bucks at Walmart or even cheaper at the dollar store. They can try to hula hoop or roll them around and make a game out of it, and sometimes even the parents get involved, and that is fun. Those are also the best memories!!!

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