Need Encouraging Words from Other 'Nicu Moms'

Hi M. S.
Hang in there. It is not your fault and your little girl is in good hands. When my son was born I didn't even get to hold he before they ran him off the NICU so naturally I thought something most really be wrong and started to blame myself. I know easier said than done, but it's not worth the energy. Focus on being the best that you can be in the areas you control; be the best mom, be the best wife, be the best family and God will fill in the gaps. Talk to your husband about how you’re feeling and let him help you carry this load so you don’t feel so alone. I hope that your little girl is home with you soon and this is just another memory in your families journey, but until then pray for peace and inspiration for you and family and it will carry you through and make your family stronger.

Hang in there -- she'll be home before you know it. My oldest was in NICU for a month and he's now 8. Hold her as much as you can!!!! We held our little guy alot despite the wires and he still loves to cuddle up with us today.

I think more often than not, we mothers blame ourselves when our pregnancy or delivery get complicated. Sweetie, its not your fault she's in the NICU. Goodness, you got her to 37 weeks! (Whoo-hoo, her lungs are developed!! She's full term!) They just want to observe her, make sure her body temp and weight are stable, that everything is ok. Don't beat yourself up. I know you must feel scared for her and overwhelmed, but please don't feel "horrible". You might even have a rush of hormones right now that is adding to your baby blues.

Ask the nurses if there is a particular weight that she needs to be before they will release her. If so, this might help give you a better way to set expectations and avoid disappointment.

I have been there 6 years ago. My son stayed there in the NICU for 2 months. He is my one and only. They never gave us a definite date either. I hurt like never before. He was 3lb. I feel your pain, but with meditation and much PRAYER it will be fine.

HI,
Your little is going to be just fine. My grand daughter was born at 26 wks at 1.5 lbs. She is here and she is fine. She is now 2 1/2 yrs old. These babies are meant to be here and they will be here living large. I never gave up on my g-daughter and she is our little miracle. So chin up and just be ready to love her so much more. The nicu nurses are wonderful and caring. I know its hard but its really going to be alright. As I read your words, A certain peace came over me for you, god is great and he is there with her. Dont despair. Let me know when she gets home. Believe she will make up for her time away!

Oh I feel for you M.!!!

I've been there with my son. Not for prematurity, but different completely unexpected issue and also without a going home time line. It is so tough. He was there for 2 weeks.

Some things that were helped:

1. Friends, family, neighbors, people from your church will offer to help. TAKE THEM UP ON IT! As hard as it is to be on the receiving end, now is the time- you really do need it. When they ask what they can do give them specifics that you need, dinners brought in, grocery shopping done, someone to watch your little one, errands run, maybe company in the NICU, perhaps someone to take care of things for an hour or two so you can get a nap... People really want to help, and you do need it!

2. Get a good hospital grade pump.

3. Take an occasional break from the hospital. Go to lunch with your husband, or take your son to the park for an hour. It's so tough to leave, but you need some time with those you love.

4. Take a camera, notebook, a water bottle, and materials to read while you're in the hospital. You'll want the pictures later when you're away, the notebook is handy for jotting down notes when the doctors round, and it's nice to rock your baby and read.

5. Write about your experiences in a journal or family blog. It's a great way to express your feelings, and you will treasure what you've written later down the road.

6. Don't be afraid to ask questions. The NICU nurses and doctors are a special group of people and should be willing to answer your questions.

7. If you believe in prayers, pray, and ask others to pray for your family. I really think prayers can buoy you up when it gets difficult.

8. Don't forget to take care of yourself. You're still recovering from childbirth. Make sure you're getting nutritious meals, take soothing baths, and rest when you can.

It is a very tender time. I know. Soon you'll be rocking your little one at home. It will happen. You'll look back amazed at your strength during this difficult time, and you'll be so very grateful for your little miracle.

Bless you M. and good luck!

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's never an easy thing. When I was 21 my twins had to stay in the NICU, as well. One of them was able to come home at 2 weeks and the other stayed for 108 days. I would encourage you to use this time to speed up your own recovery and get your strength back so that when you're daughter is able to come home you'll be ready physically, mentally and emotionally. I found that being around the other parents was helpful, as well. Kangaroo Therapy was very beneficial for both my daughters and myself. I also learned so much from the NICU nurses that I've felt more able to handle everything that has happened since she came home. They will be 10 in a couple of weeks. Hang in there, you'll make it through. :)