Need Help Asap ~ They Threatened to Take Her Son Away!

Updated on May 27, 2009
M.Y. asks from Kalamazoo, MI
39 answers

Hey everyone ~ I just got done talking to my sister and have some questions...

Her son was born on Oct 28th of last year, he is just over four months old...not sure exactly how many weeks that is. Anyway she took him to the Dr. today for a normal routine checkup and she had a pretty distubing visit.

Here is what I could get from her (she was very upset and I was a little confused, but here's the jist) After they weighed him they called a social worker in to see her. They said that he only weighs 12 lbs and that is underweight for his age and that if in the next 30 days they don't see his weight go up (not sure what weight they are looking for here as they didn't tell her) they are going to take him away from her. They have ordered her to stop breast feeding...only to pump and feed (not sure why that is either)

I'm not sure what a correct weight should be at four months, but that little guy is pretty big! Infact we have a friend who had her baby on the same day and Noah is bigger than he is...he is in the right size clothing 3-6 months...some outfits are even 6-9 month sizes.

Please please please respond...she is so upset and not sure what to do...they threatened to take her baby away! I have no idea what to tell her, my kids are 5 and 3 and I can't remember what they weighed at that age, but he looks normal to me!

My sister is a good mom, a little controlling maybe...like she is trying to keep him on a schedule, such as eating and napping times and I think that is a bit extreme...but other than that she is a good mom, very natural, like she was just born to do it.

Thanks everyone! I so appreciate your help.

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thank you all for the many responses and all the info. I talked to acouple of friends last night as well who have dealt with the same Dr. office and what I found out was that almost all of their patients are on medicaid...not that that is a bad thing, my children have medicaid. Anyway they apparently have ALOT of issues with unfit parents and such and so they do keep a social worker on hand. Both of my friends dealt with them personally and said that they are OVER cautious because of this and dealt with similar things their as well. My mom and my sisters husband have been at all the appointments with her and weight was never addressed previously. He was a little over 9 lbs when he was born and was at 11 lbs at his 2 month check up. She has tried to pump some and it took a very long time just to get two ounces so she is concerned with trying to pump for every feeding and worrys that he will get even less this way. I will try to talk to her about scheduling naps and feeding times, I thought that was weird, but apparently that is what the books she has read tell her to do and also what all of her friends are doing...pretty much all of her friends had a baby the same year she did so she is following them, their advice and the books that they've suggested. Anyway I so appreciate all the info. I am going to call her this afternoon and talk with her, thanks so much everone!

***2nd update
My sister contacted the wic office, as they have wic, and found out that the social work had contacted them (wic) as well. THe good news their is that the wic office stood up for my sister and told the social worker that they did not believe that stopping and pumping was at all the best way to handle the situation. The wic office made a better suggestion and apparently the social worker agreeded with it because my sister went to the hospital and had him wieghed, then she fed him and had him weighed again. I have not heard what the weight ended up being or if everything is squared away, but she is seeking and getting the help she needs thankfully! Anyway I just wanted to let everyone know what is going on and to say thanks again for all the info and especially the websites...they were very helpful in showing my sister the importance of the night and on-demand feedings. THanks again, you ladies are AWESOME!

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.D.

answers from Grand Rapids on

thats ridiculous that they want her to stop breast feeding, but she should nurse on demand... whenever the little guy is hungry, breast milk is easier to digest than formula, and the babies nurse more often... this is just another example of hoe messed up our "system" is.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.V.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi M.,
When I was reading your post all I kept thinking was there's something else missing. Did her ped. already talk to her about the low birth weight? I can't imagine my ped. just calling a social worker without first talking to me about whatever was going on. With that being said I would suggest her NOT putting her baby on a schedule. Let him eat when he wants and I would also do what they suggest and start pumping or supplamenting with formula so she knows how much he is getting. My son at six weeks was eating 6 ounces of formula. I haven't ever had to deal with social workers but I would assume the last thing they want to do is take her son away from her. As long as she does what they want her son will be healthy and she'll learn a few things maybe. Good luck.
Chris

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.O.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter weighed 12 pounds at 4 months... she was normal but onthe small side..

Breastfed babies are often thin- and perfectly normal.

Myonly comment would be to feed the baby often as long as he wants. Let him nurse whenever whereever.

breastfed babies should never be on a schedule..

I dont think they can take him away with out a hearing or something..

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Saginaw on

Hello M., Sorry to hear about this situation. The one piece of information that you left out is the babys birth weight. Having said that, advise your sister to go to another pediatrition ASAP. This doesn't sound right! Have her contact a child advicate group in your area also, she needs to have others on her side. If this doc didn't give advice on how to bring the wieght up and told your sister to stop breast feeding, that truly worries me. I went through something like this when my oldest was a year old. I went with my ex to Alabama for his job, and it was time for my daughters immunizations. So I took her to a local doctor down there. They said the same thing! I was in a panic, and rushed back to Michigan right away. When our Ped saw us, she assured me that my child would not be talking and walking early for her age if she were malnurished!! And I also was breast feeding. What a releif that was. So please get a second opinion. Good luck. Also, if your sister wants to know how much breast milk the baby is taking in, get a baby scale, and weight him before and after feedings, without changing his diaper in between.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.G.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Okay, seems a bit bizzare to me, and I agree I would be freeked out as well. My only thought is that maybe he didn't gain any weight since his last visit, or they didn't see the increase that normally you would that they are looking at a failure to thrive situation. You say he's big, but if he is long and skinny that could be an issue. Another clue to failure to thrive, as explained by my doctor when my second was almost classified as such, is if the height and weight are not increasing at the same levels. The fact that they have ordered her to stop breast feeding tells me that they may be questioning how much breast milk she is producing. You're sister will probably want to be prepared to supplement with formula as well. She could even add a little bit of rice cereal to his diet, either by spoon or in a bottle.

Another recommendation, after she calms down, to put together a list of questions and then call the doctor or social worker and follow-up. You might want to help her with the questions. However, this will show that she doesn't want to loose her son and will work with them to do what needs to be done. If he doesn't gain the weight necessary (and find out what kind of weight gain they are looking for), that could work in her favor.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.R.

answers from Detroit on

I agree with everyone's advise. If the problem is her approach, she should be willing to change it. I also think there's more to it, and she may not be telling you all of it. What did he weigh at birth? If he was 10 lbs, yes, 4 lbs in 4 months is pretty low. Is there a dad around to talk to? Can you ask your ped (nurses probably more helpful) about the weight thing? They may be able to tell you the criteria they'd use to make that call.
I just did a search and it looks like double the weight at 6 months, triple at 1 year? Birth weight is a major factor. I was wondering if your sister was being stubborn, and the doc was making his point by the threat? Only wondering because you said she was "controlling". Maybe he is opposed to the schedule.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.L.

answers from Detroit on

OH my goodness.. UNBELIEVABLE!!!

Sorry, but this is just yet another reasont that people end up stopping breastfeeding and it's really sad. And then someone that's on medicaid has to pay for formula..

She'll get MUCH MUCH more milk for her baby BY BREASTFEEDING her. She won't get as much pumping. Is there an issue with latch? Have her contact La Leche League.. a leader there RIGHT AWAY www.lalecheleague.org

Is she nursing on demand? If not then she should if there really is an issue with weight gain.

Also, she could pump after nursing or WHILE nursing (pump one side while nursing on another) to get more milk and then feed the baby with a bottle if she's not getting enough.

So sorry.. and yes I agree.. there's got to be another ped that would see the baby and disagree..

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

WOW, My daughter is now 2 1/2 and still has yet to make the "growth" chart, her ped just made her her own graph and as long as she tracks up at roughly the same pace and is in otherwise good health they don't say anything (although there was alot of testing in her first 6mos). Another child I know had something (the name escapes me)that caused his normal (established growth curve) to skew and he had to relearn how to process (digest) food?? I am not a medical person, so only personal thoughts/experience here. I would suggest maybe an advocate from la leche league (good mom and baby people). As far as pumping... they might want to see production and ounce consumption (hard to track inside). Are you or another trusted adult available to go to appt's with her. Sometimes another set of ears that aren't overcome with fear and worry are helpful..... if not there are several places that help with advocasy and understanding. My thoughts are with your family this sounds overwhelming

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Doctors monitor infant growth at well-baby exams using standard growth charts, which compare your baby's weight, height and head circumference with those of other babies who are the same sex and age. Infants who fall below a certain weight range for their age or who are failing to gain weight at the expected rate may require further evaluation.

So how much should you expect your infant to grow in the first year?

* Weight. Infants generally gain 4 to 7 ounces (113 to 198 grams) a week during the first month. After the first month, they gain an average of 1 to 2 pounds (0.5 to 1 kilogram) a month for the first six months. From six months to 1 year, they gain about 1 pound (0.5 kilogram) a month.
* Height. Infants generally grow about 1 inch (2.5 centimeters) a month during the first six months, and about 1/2 inch (1 centimeter) a month from six months to one year. This is the information I could find on the internet about baby growth weight. I hadn't really thought about this stuff since my kids are now teens. My son at 4 months weighed in at 18 pounds and was at 100% for weight and height - he was a big boy. I hope your sister can resolve this whole thing without stress or fear. They really should have left her with a feeling of I can do what needs to be done, instead of threats! How sad!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.C.

answers from Detroit on

I won't respond to the rest since I don't know all the facts, but I will say this... she needs to quit the schedule and feed her baby on demand. I'm not saying all babies are like this, but my baby wanted to nurse every two hours at that age. This was because he only nursed for about 5 minutes on one side each time. If I had him on a schedule, there is no way he would have gotten enough. Some babies eat a little often and others eat a lot less often. No baby breastfeeds the same, so the idea of a schedule just doesn't make sense. At this age, the baby really does know what's best when it comes to feeding, especially breastfeeding.

Also, if she truly is doing all else the right way and the baby isn't thriving on breastfeeding, I would suggest she consult a breastfeeding specialist. The hospital I delivered at had one I could contact.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from Detroit on

I'd switch doctors firstly, and I'd next consult an attorny. This is bullhocky

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.W.

answers from Detroit on

That threat is ridiculus! IF he is underweight she needs to see a lactation specialist to figure out what's wrong with breastfeeding.

Have her get a baby scale, so she can see that he's growing, they recommend a half an ounce a day, so about a lb. a month for a healthy child. So she can monitor his growth at home and not worry about it.

I had something similar happen to me (though no one freaked out about it like this). At 8 weeks my daughter was 10 oz. less then her birthweight because somehow breastfeeding wasn't working out. Unfortunately I lived in KY, a very backward state when it comes to breastfeeding (maybe 1% of mom's do it), and no one could help me. I was also advised to stop breastfeeding and pump and supplement. This was BAD advise. DO NOT STOP BREASTFEEDING. If there is something going on with her milk supply, then this will only make it worse. She should pump in between feedings, and feed that to the baby AFTER the baby has finished at the breast, both sides and seems satisfied. That's my advise, but have her get into contact with La Letche League and or a lactation consultant immediately! This threat is unreasonable and it doesn't sound like its grounded in facts. That doesn't seem like a bad weight, expecially as some babies are small.

Another option, though I wouldn't recommend this normally, is to start rice cereal. They can have it at 4 months, but not other solids, those should wait until 6 months. This will give the baby some extra weight.

If she's having trouble pumping, try some supplements of formula, but be sure to do those AFTER breastfeeding.

Some ways to increase milk supply are the herb fenugreek, mothers milk tea, and a medicine called reglan. I tried the reglan in my situation, BUT it made me really anxious and I had to quit. At that point my daughter REFUSED to latch on and I had no one to help me, so I quit breastfeeding and have regretted it ever since.

Tell her not to freak out but find out some facts! Best wishes!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.S.

answers from Detroit on

Hello M.,

I just looked up a birth chart. The chart for 5 months which he will be on the 28th of this month is 13-22 lbs. I know they really watch their weight, especially when they are under a year.

They probably think she is not producing enough milk for him and that if she pumps she will see he needs more. If I remember right they told me they should be eating 32 to 52 ounces per day at that age but I would call the doctor to verify that because my guy is 3-1/2 now.

If she starts feeding more ounces right away it really won't be a problem for him to gain. I also know when my niece's little one fell into the bottom 5 percentile in weight the doctor had her come in 1 time per week and get him weighed for a while until he caught up.

Good luck to her - L. S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.B.

answers from Lansing on

First she should seek an attorney. If the doctors do give her a hard time shell already have one and if she feels it neccessary shell already have an attorney to sue the pants off the doctor!!! Babies are not all the same. Some are bigger and some are smaller. If I was your sister I would get a second opinion. Based on that dctors appointment and speaking with an attorney, Im sure you sister will have more options. Doctors shouldn't be threatening to take away babies if there is no real sign of a provoked problem. Idiots. I wish your sister all the luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.H.

answers from Detroit on

M. ~
I know you've already had alot of responses, and added your response, but I just got this in today's newsletter, so thought I'd answer, too.

Your nephew should double his weight by 6 months old.
I would assume they want your sister to pump and feed in order to more closely monitor the baby's intake. Maybe she's not producing enough, maybe it's not rich enough. I have heard of a way to analyze the milk to see if it's rich enough, but not sure how that's done.
I would tell your sister to contact a lactation consultant. They can help her with the breastfeeding (maybe his latch isn't quite as good as she thinks it is...hard to say). They can also give her information on what herbs she can use to increase her milk supply (besides supply and demand), and also to enrich the milk. Breast feeding cannot be on a schedule! It really has to be feed the baby when he's hungry, as much as he'll take (don't limit the time!).
Hope that helps some!
D. (ob nurse)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Lansing on

This is heart wrenching! I agree with just about everything these women are recommending. I hate to bring up a bad point, but is there a chance that your sister is leaving something out? I love my sis very much but she has "issues" and usually when you are really surprised about something, (i.e. something out of the blue) there is more to it than she is letting on. I hope that isn't the case. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.J.

answers from Detroit on

My son weighed 13 pounds at 4 months. The doctors were concerned and sent him for an upper GI to make sure there wasn't anything blocking milk from getting through his digestive track. I started logging everything - every time he breastfed and for how long, every time he spit up, and every time he had a diaper change. I logged meticulously for 3 weeks. The doctor looked at everything and said he is fine, just on the small side for his age. At that weight he was in the 10th percentile. There is a great online calculator to see what percentile he is in. You can put in the exact month and days old your child is. Make sure to select MALE as the gender. The link is....
http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/usefultools/l/bl_percentil...

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.J.

answers from Detroit on

Take him to a new ped's. Dr. for second opnion, log everything, feedings, pee, poo, sleep, awake, crying, snacks, everything, take pic's & log everything, if he throw's up, anything and everything. The reason for pumping and then feeding is to record exactly how much he eats, 4oz 6oz, actualy a good idea. Then rule out any phycial condition, which may be causing him not to gain weight. My daughter was addmitted to Motts Hospital at 6 weeks old & kept for 6 weeks for not gaining weight, she weighed 9 lbs when addmitted, 6.7 lbs at birth, their are growth charts on the internet to use as a reference guide. I bought a scale for our daughter, she would not poo, and vomited at every feeding,and was loosing weight, it took me 6 weeks too convince a Dr. she was ill, and I was not just exagerating, she came home on 5 different med's, had to sit up to sleep for a yr. and on infent monitor to check breathing. She is 26 yr old this year and in good health. Still small by most woman's standards, wears size 1 jeans. Hang in their, if worst case they take the child, they will then help him to gain weight, and see it is nothing she is doing to him, the main focus is the child, tho I do hope he gets better at home. Ask all the family about all history, of the child both sides, my husband was addopted and we had little information about history. She need all the documentation she can get, I wish you & your family the best of luck with this situation, and pray he gain's weight at home, and has no medical condition which prevents his weight gain. Sorry about spelling, hope this story helps your family.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.F.

answers from Detroit on

Tell her to start a "Daily Baby Feeding Journal" and from today on to 30 days, record when she feeds him and for how long. Also, I had a problem feeding with both my boys, they just weren't getting enough. Sometimes that happens. So yes, stop breastfeeding, pump if you don't want to stop completely. But you need to make sure he gets at least 6oz. of food 12 times a day.He may also need to start cereal so he's eating something filling. He should be better by the time the 30 days is up. And, even if it's not she'll have proof that she's not neglecting her son cause she'll have records in the journal. Then the doctors can move forward and figure out why he's underweight.(that is, if he's not up by then) Hope this helps you and yours.
God bless

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.M.

answers from Detroit on

I would tell your sister to get a lawyer ASAP!!!!! His weight shouldn't just be a number, it should depend on his weight at birth, and his previous appointments. I would have her go speak with a lacaion consultant about the pumping and feeding, because with a pump you do not always get to best milk. By that I mean with each let down the fat content of the milk goes up, so if you are pumping then you do not always get the same amount of let downs that the baby will get while nursing. Did they do any blood work on him? I would think if there is a concern about weight gain that they would have done blood work to see if there is a medical reason for this. The first thing I would do is contact a lawyer!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.L.

answers from Benton Harbor on

M.,

I can only imagine how scary this must be for you and your sister. He seems to be at the right weight for his age. My daughter is 14.9oz and is 3 1/2 months old but she was born almost 10lbs. My doctor said the weight range is 12- 16 lbs. Also, my nephew is 2 and barely weighs 22lbs. and his doctor said some kids are just like that. If I were your sister I would see a lawyer right away and get a second opinion from another doctor. I hope everything turns out alright for your sister.
Maybe she also needs to rethink keeping him on such a tight feeding schedule and then he will bulk up a bit.

DeeL.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.S.

answers from Detroit on

I would ask your sister to sign a release of information so you have permission to speak with the doctor's office about the child and get their side of the story. If what your sister tells you is true, I would run as fast as I could away from this doctor. That is completely wrong to be threatened by anyone, let alone, the one person you trust most as a new mom, your pediatrician. Next, get a second opinion, and be present to support your sister through whatever is needed to be done from there. Please update us and let us know the outcome, I am very concerned for the baby and your sister. Thanks and god bless! :) H.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Detroit on

I'm not sure if they have right to take baby from a mom..any way, Best idea is may be he is not getting enough milk from his mom and too lazy to complain by crying like my kid..
So,I would give him formulae which boosts there weight quite up very faster..and now he is 4 month old any way she can even give him 2 tsps of cereal with either breast milk or Formulae.

Feeding much frequently first breast milk give 1 hr break next formula give 21/2 break next breast milk and may be two times cereal will definetly boost up the babies weight..
So, all the best...to your sister...

Ask her not to worry and eat good food to feed the baby.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.G.

answers from Saginaw on

First of all I am so so sorry to hear that your sister is going through this. It really doesn't sound fair at all. Almost like the Dr.'s have something out for her. Anyway, what's done is done and we have to help her out:)
Our son was born in Dec and at his 1 week appt. we found that he had lost too much weight but was eating up a storm. The Dr. had me come back the next week and he had not gained enough. SO, she was forced to put him on the failure to thrive list. I was in tears.
First off this is what they said may be happening: I was producing enough milk but for some reason the quality was not what it should be..getting enough liquid and the important nutrients but not enough of the weight gaining nutrients.
So, what do you tell your sister? Relax, let her son eat whenever he seems to want it. Go ahead and pump. But add formula and because he is 4 months maybe add just enough rice cereal to the bottle to thicken a little. Not too much.

Our Dr. had me giving our son 1oz formula after everyfeed. That's when we figured out he was still hungry...he could take both sides and then still take anywhere between 2-4oz of formula.

That said, I now pump each night, just before he goes down for each nap and bed I feed him like normal, then I take 2oz of pumped bm and add 1 scoop formula and about 1 1/2-2t. rice formula. Guess what in a meer 1 week's time he gain 8 oz. The Dr. was looking for around 5-6oz gain.

She can do it and get through it with help from the family.
Have her keep a detailed list of four things:
time of feed
how many oz.
# of wet
# of dirty
Just to cover her own rear. I am sure as the day is long that you are right and she is a good mother. It is possible that her milk is like mine was and just not as rich as it should be.
As a side note have her take a look at the la latche legue website. If it is a matter of milk then that website will help her eat the right foods to help her enrich her milk. I do hope that this is helpful to you.
Please let me know if there is anything I can help you or her with.
Good luck,
M

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.S.

answers from Detroit on

Wow, I'm surprised that WIC stood up for your sister; my son gains weight very slowly, but consistently. They flat out asked me if I was feeding him (he was around 7 months) and told me that if he didn't gain enough weight for them to be satisfied, they'd call Child Services.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.L.

answers from Detroit on

Without knowing the whole scenario, it does not seem likely they would take your sister's baby away from her just because of weight. Children do develop differently. However, babies on the average double their birth weight by 6 months. She should consult another doctor. Not being so rigid in scheduling feedings may help weight gain. Supplementing with formula if approved by doctor may be helpful for frequent nursings during his awake time. I have a great niece who weighs 18.5 lbs at 16.5 months. She has been underweight soon after birth. She is developing just fine otherwise except for her speech. I do not think her mom takes the time needed to feed her since she has been on solids, and now she does not want to take time to eat. She is way too busy exploring her world.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.G.

answers from Detroit on

I am so sorry that she had to go through that!
I too had a baby who was slow to gain weight in the beginning. She actually droped pecentiles. She started in the 75th then went to the 50th and is now in the 25th and has stayed there. My ped also told me that if she didn't start to gain weight that I was going to have to start pumping and feeding. Luckily this was not my 1st but my 3rd so I was a bit more informed and seasoned or to would have freaked out more that I did.

1st of all pumping is not a good indicator of how much milk a woman produces. I will pump for an hour and only get maybe an ounce of milk...then I will nurse and have a let down and hear the baby gulping milk and finish nursing satisfied. She was getting plenty from my breast!

2nd breast fed babies gain weight diffrently than formula fed babies but doctors use the same growth charts for both. There is a growth chart put out by the WHO that only measures bf babies. (you can google it)

Dr Jack Newman who is bf expert from Toranto ha this article posted that I found very helpful. about slow weight gain in bf babies that that it is perfectly normal. Here is the link http://www.drjacknewman.com/help/Slow%20Weight%20Gain%20F...

3rd she needs to throw the schedual out for a little while and bf on demand. When ever she even thinks that the baby is hungry put it to it to the breast. Get as many calories into the baby as possible.

I don't know if they can leagly take her baby away for this but I would be very surprised. If I was your sister I would change Dr's today and never go to that dr again. With that said I would also be up front with the new dr and tell them that the old dr was concerned about the babies weight gain.

I hope that this was helpful!
Blessings, K.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.M.

answers from Detroit on

I am not sure what the doctors saw at the 4 month appointment. I am wondering if she explained how she is trying to keep him on a schedule with breastfeeding. Since he is on the smaller side. With breastfeeding, you feed on demand at that age because you don't know how much they are eating. I assume they want her to pump and feed so they know how much the baby is eating at each feeding. The baby will get more at the breast than you get pumping but they will have an idea.
My daughter weighed 11 pounds exactly on her 4 month visit. The doctor was a little concerned and told me to try to increase the feedings. My son (now 5)was preemie and always had a hard time putting on weight, so she has seen him when he was tiny and now he is healthy and is in the normal range. She understands that my kids will be small but are fed as much as they want to eat.
I don't want you to scare your sister but she needs to listen to the doctors. If she is the type to show an attitude to the doctors, I would advise her not to. I have a friend who's daughter' kidney's shut down at age 16. They realized she had failure to thrive disease. She was on dialysis etc.. mom was doing what they asked but at a few visits the mom let her attitude show and they actually took her daughter away from her and at one point she could not see her daughter. They get really worried when they see parents that are controlling with food. It took her about 2 years to get her daughter back.

My advice would be to keep a daily journal of her child's eating. How much and when. Also keep a track of diapers too. That way she will have all the ammunition she needs to prove she is doing all the right things. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.J.

answers from Detroit on

I would follow the doctors orders regarding the feeding so the baby gains weight and in the meantime I would suggest she find a new doctor and get a second opinion. That is quite harsh to call the social worker for an underweight baby unless they discussed this with her before.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Lansing on

My daughter was just over 13 lbs at 4 mths and she is on the low side of the weight scale, so 12 lbs probably is small, but more important is has he always been on the skinny side or are they concerned because he has suddenly stopped gaining weight? Has he missed some milestones or is having some other failure to thrive issues? For them to bring in a social worker it sounds as though they are very concerned about something and it seems that your sister should have been asking more questions about what exactly they are so concerned about. As far as her being controlling, I think it is reasonable to have a 4 mth old on a feeding schedule, my daughter came home from the hospital on a 3 hour feeding schedule. It took until about 6 mths to get naps on a schedule, but it sounds like maybe there is more to this and your sister definatly needs to be asking questions. A second pediatrician's opinion might be helpful as well.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.H.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Hi M.,
Yikes, I can understand her, and you, being upset. From everything you said it seems that Noah is at an acceptable weight. Mia weighed 14lbs at 4 months (75th pertile). I am sure that the reason they want her to pump and feed is so that she can accurately track how many ounces he is taking and how frequently. The best thing that she can do is stay calm and not be too emotional (yes, tough while postpartum- been there!)especially when talking to the social worker/Dr. I think that it's ugly the assumption that these people make about parents based on age, economic status, race, etc. Pray for peace! And favor! And weight gain! : ) Carl and I will pray for them, and you.
Love and Blessings,
Tat

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.I.

answers from Lansing on

i know i am a little late to the game but i would tell her to get a good pump one that you rent they have the best power as put out alot more to if they are having her pump only are thet having her record how much a feading and how often? if so tell her to pick up mother friend tea it will help produce more milk and there is also a medice her doc can givr her to take reglin it also help with more milk i hope it blows over quick for her

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.P.

answers from Detroit on

First of all, she should change doctors. I would not go to a doctor who tried to make me stop breastfeeding and only pump my milk, to me it sounds like he does not support a breastfeeding mother at all. Breastfed babies can be a bit leaner than bottle fed babies, because the breastmilk is digested much more efficiently. Formula has more 'empty calories' as it is a manufactured product. I breastfed 4 babies, and the only one that was chubby was my son, my girls were all slender babies, but by no means were they underfed. When my twins pediatrician suggested I stop breastfeeding at about 6 months because they didn't gain what he considered to be enough weight, I just nursed them a bit more often, next visit, he was happy with their weight gain. The amount of milk produced is directly linked to how much is going out, and a pump is nowhere as efficient as the baby doing the job on his own. If she tries to pump to measure how much she's feeding him, she runs the risk of her milk production going down, then she won't have enough milk and will be forced to supplement. Good luck to her, and tell her to do what SHE feels is right, doctors are only human after all, and a monthly visit doesn't replace day to day living and knowing what is best for her and her baby.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.S.

answers from Detroit on

Here is a web site I found

http://www.babycenter.com/baby-child-growth-percentile-ca...

I don't have all your nephew's info but when I put in 4 months and 12 pounds it said he was below the 5th percentile....that is really low. From what I recall,and this is for full term healthy babies, babies should double their birth weight in the first month.

She needs to stop the "schedule" and feed on demand. She should probably add some formula also. if she still wants to beast feed she should follow what she was told, pump and feed. That is mostly so that she can keep track of the amount he is eating. I assume she was told to keep a log. If she wasn't told to keep one she should. That way she has documentation if she needs it.

She needs to know that the state doesn't want to take her baby. They are only doing their job. The system is all ready over loaded with kids. They have to follow up on any and all reports that they get. She should call who ever the social worker that came to the doctor's office is and ask for help and advice. The WILL work with her but she needs to stay calm and not get defensive. She needs to remain open to any and all suggestions they make. If they suggest she take parenting classes she should, even if she doesn't think she needs them.

I do have one concern though...why did her doctor not talk to her first? I wonder if the weight issues have been addressed in other visits and she failed to act on them? Honestly, it sounds like you sister is leaving out some of the story. I haven't had to deal personally with the social workers but my parents did foster care when I lived at home and I seen some crazy stuff and I don't think I ever remember a child (they fostered about 100 kids over 10 years) being taken for anything so minor unless it was a repeat offense. She really needs to talk to someone and get it all sorted out before it gets totally out of hand! She really has to work WITH them not AGAINST them!
I wish her the best!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.A.

answers from Detroit on

Just for a little added information, my friend was told to stop breastfeeding and to pump and use formula as well. the reason is so that your sister can monitor how much milk her baby is getting. When you breast feed, you have no idea how much milk the baby is getting, just how long the baby sucks. When you pump, you can see how much milk you are actually producing. It sounds like she isnt making enough milk, so she needs to add formula to suppliment. At that age the baby should get at least 4 ounces every 4 hours. I think the doctor's concern isn't the actual number of pounds the baby weighs, it's that the baby isn't gaining weight the way he should be. He definately should have gained more than 3 pounds in 4 months. Tell her to work on more milk per feeding, and the schedule issue shouldn't matter, she can still keep him on a schedule. Just so you know, babies should at least double, usually almost triple their weight by a year. So if you do the math your sister's baby will come nowhere near that. And I would get another doctor, threatening people without even sitting with them to figure out the issue is cruel and wrong. Good Luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Detroit on

I am a Lactation Consultant. My first suggestion is to contact a Lactation Consultant. She can find one by calling the hospitals or midwives near her for a referral. She can also find an LC by going to www.ilca.org This will list LCs who are members of the organization (there are LCs who haven't joined). You can also contact La Leche League for the names of LCs near her. To find LLL go to www.llli.org She needs to let them know she's willing to work on this and wants to do what's best for her baby.
After this is done I think she'll need to find another Dr for her baby. It seems to me that this relationship (or health care provider and client) has been irreparably damaged. If you or your sister has any questions about breastfeeding, please feel free to email me.

One thing she should do is get her little one breastfeeding for 20 minutes every 2-3 hours. Also, keep a count of how many wets and messy diapers he has every 24 hours. Next list how much supplement she's giving the baby in a bottle and whether it's pumped breastmilk or formula. Showing this to the LC will give her a good overall picture on what might be going on. All the best, S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.J.

answers from Detroit on

i had to look up my girls weight in their baby book. my youngest was 12 lbs 14 oz at 4 months. she was never on the growth chart. i only breastfed her no formula ever. there must be more going on your sister isn't telling you. good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.V.

answers from Detroit on

In addition to all of the other advice, I would recommend that when she contacts the social worker that she has a witness with her. Maybe you could be there. That way she not only has a witness but she willvhave someone she trusts that will be able to help her review what happened and if she is overeacting to what is said. Also you will know if there is more going onthan what you are being told.

I would also recommend that she talk to a lawyer.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Chicago on

WHAT??? Was he a big baby and is losing weight? Is his % decreasing? That is the only thing I could think would make them concerned. at four months my daughter weighed 12 lbs and my son weighs 13 lb, 15 oz. Now this is low for both - my son was in the 26th% and she was in the 15th% I think. But, they were both born at 5 lbs, 1 oz (son) and 6 lbs, 2oz (daughter).

If he is losing weight and she is stubborn about feeding, maybe that is why?

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches