Need Help Finding the "Right" School/services for My LD Son

Updated on March 21, 2008
M.M. asks from Brighton, MI
18 answers

I'm very frustrated tonight and thought maybe someone out there will be able to help me out. Tomorrow is ANOTHER Met/IEP for my 4th grade/9 year old son. Since Preschool I've been fighting for proper help, services, testing etc... knowing as a mother my son was behind. He's been certified OHI for what they thought was ADHD, then EI due to a lack of descrepancy b/w IQ and Performance testing and finally after an outside evaluation by Oakland Schools the team has agreed to change his certification to LD. Kyle is two years delayed in reading comprehension, does not know basic math facts (+, -, X,), is dyslexic (which I already know does not count towards the LD), spelling is at an early 1st grade level, horrible organization skills (if any exist at all!), receives Speech for TH blend's, OT, SW for group only (which is a waste of time since he goes with one other person and exceeds all goals. He also sees a private Child Psychologist that is phenomenal) and overall does NOT belong in a 4th grade, general education classroom. We are in the Clarkston School District which I've been told does not have self contained classrooms for LD since their goal is to mainstream as much as possible. To avoid rambling further.....Kyle's anxiety level raises so far b/c he has no idea what's happening all day long in class. He's picking his skin, poking holes in his brand new clothing, unable to complete a single ounce of homework and says he's "bored". I'm pretty sure his boredom stems from the fact that he spends the majority of his day surrounded by people/activities that he is unable to participate in. He's very well behaved (at school) and holds himself together well. Once he's home he has melt downs and is exhausted. I've been to many meetings with the team and haven't seen many changes. I don't know what to do for my little guy and it's breaking my heart! What options are available?? Any input will be appreciated. Thanks so much!

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So What Happened?

Ok....since I walked out on the MET/IEP Sept. 28th, I've had no communication with the team. Today, I spoke with an advocate from ACMH (Association for Childrens Mental Health) that pursuaded me into allowing her to write a letter to the school. Of course, with the premise I wrote it myself! Acknowledging I'm a concerned parent and want to continue being a member of the team, resume the IEP, blah blah blah! This protects me legally from the school resuming the IEP without me. This whole thing is overwhelming! I'm wondering at this point if anyone has used ACMH and found success?? I was supposed to mail the letter to school as well as the Director of Special Ed for the district today, but I didn't! I'm afraid to trust anyone and would love some feedback on ACMH or this situation first. For those of you that have sent replies on this subject thus far, THANK YOU! I don't have a support system so these e-mails mean the world to me. Thanks so much!
M.

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D.F.

answers from Cincinnati on

Have you looked into Montessori schools? Do some research, they are amazing and will help ease issues at home. Also, you may want to look into having him evaluated at Redwood ###-###-####.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.L.

answers from Detroit on

I am a certified teacher and would like to help you and send you in the right direction. Please email me at ____@____.com if you are still in need of advice or services. Thank you, Danyel

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J.R.

answers from Dayton on

Honey you have rights. Go to wrightslaw.org. Read your rights, know your rights. First, my question to you is; did he get a full evaluation from a psycologist and if so, what was the diagnosis? do you get a booklet titled "who"s idea is this? If the district is not meeting your son's needs got to the state board of education and complain. Above all stand your ground and fight for your child. Look in the phone book and see if there is any schools that will cater to his disability. He needs help. I know, because I have a son who has adhd and some aspergers. Knowledge is power andremember this go to the iep meetings loaded and demand that your child be helped. Get all the backup you can get. My backup was the SERRC center. The people their was wonderful.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.N.

answers from Lansing on

UGH M....this sounds awful. I have a son who is Autistic, so I can relate somewhat, but it's hard to ever say to someone "I know how you feel"

I can tell you some things that we did with Matthew's IEP, and maybe that can help you a bit.

Matthew is high functioning Autism, which puts him in a steamlined classroom, however he has the same social problems as Kyle. In fact, Matt and Kyle sound as though they could be best buddies.

Matt has "break" cards...when he starts to feel overwhelmed, he can take a break. There's a room in his school with a small trampoline, a piano, some mats, some books, clay, things like that. He's allowed a 10 minute break to decompress, and then returns to the classroom refreshed and relaxed.

2-3x/day, Matt goes to this room for "Sensory Diet"...where he explores his social skills and his senses. Matthew has Sensory Integration Disorder...all of his senses are whacked in some way...

Every day, on his desk, is his "Command Central". This is a schedule of EVERYTHING that will happen with Matthew in chronological order...all classes, activites, fire drills, EVERYTHING..this keeps Matthew in the know and he can follow along and look ahead to see what's coming up next. No suprises. This in itself has helped his anxiety and meltdowns tremendously.

Matt has speech, also, and just adores his speech teacher.

Our school also has a fantastic counselor who I can speak with at just about any time.

They have assigned him a "buddy" to hang out with. His buddy knows about his disability and the two of them hang out at recess and lunch. Otherwise, Matt would just be alone. *sob*

I also INSIST on weekly phone calls from the head of his IEP team. And I'm assertive as can be in IEP meetings. If they're not following the IPE TO THE NINES, they are violating a law...let them know that you're aware of that...

PM me if you'd like to chat...

Till then ((((((((((((( huge hug ))))))))))))) I *kinda* know how you feel, sister.

K.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.K.

answers from Saginaw on

Hi... Your son sounds so much like my stepdaughter- it is almost scary... She is in 4th grade also, and almost everything to your son educational wise to a tee... Last year was her first year in the CI (cognitive impaired) class room, things are better for her now- though I always worry we arent encouraging her enough... Her spelling words are 3 letter words- she still has trouble with her very long first name, and last name is even longer!

Mainstreaming for her was not working, her self esteem was too beaten down, it was horrible for her... Do you have an advocate for your son? There must be a way to get him into a self contained Ei or Ci class... In michigan there is www.causeonline.org it stand for "citizens aliance to uphold special education", maybe they can help you find a service near you to help?? Good luck! I wish I could help more...

Adding in here, once the school recognized your child needs a special classroom YES they absolutely have to provide bussing... Getting the school to admit it in writting on the IEP, is where you need to start...

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T.B.

answers from Detroit on

Okay first off....you and only you have to be an advocate for your child. By law you are allowed certain things for your child and you the school is required to grant you these things. I would go to the school (which it sounds likeyou have done) and demand not politely ask that they help you. The school should have given you a pamphlet of your rights....thay HAVE to honor these. If they are no help go to the Board of Education...the the state Special Ed Department. Keep going higheruntil you get results. Believe me, I had the same trouble my son is now in the sixth grade and has no interpersonal skills, no knowlegde of basic education facts. It is so irritating, but there is someone who can and will help you out on this matter. Your job is to seek that person out. I had my son's first grade teacher tell me I am the teacher, you are the parent let me do my job. I beleive, as parents, it is our job to make sure our kids get an education, the teachers now a days just act like hat is the big deal I have a class of thirty and your child needs one on one...big deal. You have to be pushy and maybe even get mean. I will give you my email....I will try to find the spec ed # and contacts for the State of Michigan....YOu email me if you need any other help...You are not alone in this...parents have to pool together for our kids sake...thay are our future. My email is ____@____.com. Please contact me if you need to. T.

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B.A.

answers from Grand Rapids on

M.,
First off, as someone already mentioned, you do have rights, and the school MUST meet the needs of your son...they seem to be hanging on the catch phrase "in the least restrictive environment possible"...but here is the catch, if they cannot offer proper services to meet the needs of your son, they must PAY to have your son sent to a school district that can. (My best friend is an educational lawyer, and with my son just starting the special ed process now at 4 years old, she has been an invaluable resourse). My best advice is if they will not accomidate your son, then go to the director of special ed services, and if they will not do anything, then contact an educational lawyer for advice, and possibly a lawsuit (there are som that will take the case, if it is strong enough, and will make payment arrangements as part of the settlement). You will be surprised what new and better courses of action a school district will find for your son once a lawyer writes them a letter stating they are not fulfilling their legal obligation.And sometimes a letter is all it takes.

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T.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi M..

Your son sounds a lot like mine at that age. I'm curious, have they ever tested him for Autism, but he didn't fit on the scale? I'm asking this because my son was misdiagnosed for years, being tested for everything. They finally went with OHI out of nothing else to come up with. Then a break-through! We moved into a new neighborhood/ new school system (Wyoming, believe it or not!), and the fantastic Therapist there tested for Asperger's Syndrome.

You might want to request this, just to be sure.

I know there are a lot of mom's out there who, when they read the symptoms of Asperger's, said, "FINALLY! This is exactly my child". Incidentally, Asperger's and Autism is more common with boys than girls for some reason.

Maybe look it up first for yourself and see if your son fits into the category. Keep in mind that he will probably not fit into all of them. My son fits mostly with the areas of:

Unsocialable
anxiety with new places/situations
needs LOTS of structure (knowing when, where, what)
has little "quirks" like arm-flapping, chewing on his shirt
trouble with organization/schoolwork (this drives me crazy also!!)
Over-sensative senses like touching, smells, loud noises, light (doesnt like too much of any of those, when they may not seem like much to me.)

Anyhow, check it out and let me know if you think this fits your son.

Either way, I wish you the best of luck. As I said, I know all too well where you are.

Kind regards,

T. H

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F.W.

answers from Detroit on

M.,

RUN, don't walk, to Wrightslaw.com. This sight will teach you everything you need to know, and it's free. Take the time to click,click, click and navigate the resources they offer, from testing, to IEP's, to diagnoses, to educating you, for the sole purpose of getting your son what he needs. Dealing with Special Ed in the public schools is unbelieveably frustrating, and you have to learn how to do what you need to do so your son can get what he needs. There is an incredible amount of things that you can do, and Wrightslaw.com is a great place to start. Get your running shoes on and go!

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S.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

First of all you know your son better than anyone else does. Do you really think he has or had ADHD? My son is 11 going in the 6th grade this year. He has been on an IEP since 2nd grade. The School tried to tell me he was ADHD, he had a L/D when in fact he did not. Did i take him to all those Doctors or Psychologist they recommended NO! I did Not. I talked to his own Dr. She disagreed. If I would have listened to the School my son would have been a basket case and on unneeded Medication. I listened to myself and I knew my son. The school system pushes kids too hard and really what the children need to know there isn't enough time. Bottom line Listen to your own heart. You are with your son and know him better than anyone else. He needs to be on an IEP followed out by the SCHOOL and a Special Education Teacher!!!! They set goals for him to reach and help him everyday in school. I feel soo sorry for you and especially your son how Disappointing and frustrated he must feel. The School has passed him on (because of the No Child Left Behind Act). Like I told the school my son is a boy and the last place he wants to be is here. A lot of it i believe is MATURITY. That was the probelm with my son and you know what he grew out of it and is NO LONGER on an IEP. If I would have listened to the SChool and there recommendations my son would have been on all kinds of Medication and I would have truly not known my own Sons true potential. Beside, the school and Day cares get funding from the GOv't for every Child that they can list that have ADHD. Check it out and do your research. When School starts this Fall work on getting your child to where he needs to be with the help of a Special Education Teacher. Trust me you will see a difference.

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L.R.

answers from Cincinnati on

Hi M.,
My heart goes out to you. I don't know if I can offer any advice because it seems you've done everything right so far but, I can tell you that you are not alone. As a mother with two LD children I feel for you. My son 13 and daughter 12 whom are also on IEP's receive all the help they can get and it's wonderful. I don't understand how your child's school system cannot offer the same support. It's wrong for them to assume all children learn at the same levels and don't need ANY extra help. My son is on his IEP for totally different reasons than my daughter. Without either of them having the extra help I don't know what I would do. Like I said I'm sorry I don't have any help to offer but, when I read this it hit so close to home I just wanted to let you know you are doing a wonderful job and everything right. I commend you for holding it together, being a single mom and not giving up. I hope Kyle gets all the help he needs. I hate to see my children struggle and have break downs. I also have very well behaved children like yourself so I think we are double lucky! Good luck with everything and have a great day! :)

L.

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C.S.

answers from Detroit on

HI M.,
My heart goes out to you. I probably can't be of much help but I was wondering about the school district. I live in Fenton and I have a friend whose son has some issues and our ISD transports him to a different school district because Fenton doesn't have a program for him. Is that an option in Clarkston? Have you looked into the Kumon center? www.Kumon.com I'm not sure if they do anything with LD students but it wouldn't hurt to look into it. I've heard they are wonderful. Or even Sylvan learning center. I'm pretty sure they both work one on one with students. Well, Good Luck!

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M.S.

answers from Toledo on

I live in Ohio, but I want to try to be of some help to you. I understand exactly where you are coming from since my son also has LD. Plus I am going to be a special education teacher and hearing about mainstreaming takes a job away from me. Any way, I'm not sure exactly where Waterford Mi is, I'm assuming possibly by Pontiac? I would start trying to look for specialized schools that deal specifically with special Education children. I know that there is one I believe in Wyandotte, but they may be too far for you. If the school your son is in does only mainstreaming, your best bet would be to start looking around (phone book, internet) to find places of learning for children with disabilities. Your last resort would be of course moving to accomodate your child. If I can be of any more help, please let me know.
M. S.

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A.P.

answers from Cincinnati on

M.
I wrote to a friend who works with children to see if she could help. I will include her response below. If you would like to talk to her more please email me at ____@____.com and I will see what I can do. Hope this helps.

Her story sounds sad but it is a story I hear often. Some people just don’t know what to do. Schools usually are not so helpful. I have not heard of her school district. Do you know where it is? I would recommended that she get in contact with her MRDD services and they should help her get in contact with people she needs to talk to but sometimes that does not happen either b/c people are so overwhelmed. Money has been cut for children and services are tight. In order to get our services free you have be in Hamilton County . It is sad to say but she will have to fight for what her son needs and will probably have to fight hard. She should get on-line and research IDEA. A website to check out is www.fape.org. Hope this is somewhat helpful but it is hard to help when it is a different county (if it is??). Tracy

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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

I'm very biased and say this often but "thanks to no child left behind!" (BLAH!!!! and BS!) There are schools out there that will put your son in a special room, where he will get an education to move on in life. I'm not really sure where you are located or how to help you out, which I am sorry for. I also know that moving as a single mom is rarely an option. I don't agree that mainstreaming is the best option. I wish I could help you out more. Best Wishes to you, your son and daughter!

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C.C.

answers from Indianapolis on

I used to work for Eton Academy in Birmingham, MI. It's a school for kids in 1-12 with learning challenges. GREAT SCHOOL. It's a private school, so pricey, but they do have financial aid. the website is www.etonacademy.org.
Good luck!

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S.

answers from Cleveland on

M., hang in there. Talk with the school couselors, the principal to see if they are aware of any schools in the area that have LD classes or specially educated teachers to handle LD. Maybe you can have your son bussed to that school. I know that they need all requests in writing, or they can just pass them off. My son was being taught by teachers who were not IEP or LD certified and that was horrible until we pushed and they transferred him to a school district that could accomodate his needs. Keep looking, someone should be able to help. Board of Education, specialty teachers - like speech, phycologist. Don't accept their mainstreaming if it is causing your son harm and melt downs, I think they HAVE to provide transportation, the school districts get special funds for such needs - they just don't want to spend them. STAY STRONG AND GOD BLESS

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L.M.

answers from Detroit on

my suggestion would be to ask for a sensory integration evaluation. it needs to be done by a OT, the school system should do it for you, if not ask your insurance if they will cover it. what does the child psychologist think is going on? He/she should have some input in the IEP/school system and may want to accompany you to the IEP. I'm a SSW in a urban district in this area.Sorry you are having such diffculty.A last thought would be have neurospychologist evaluate.Again, sorry that you need to seek so much outside support but it sounds like the school district is only willing to consider what it thinks is relevant.

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