Need Help Getting 11 Month Old to Sleep for Naps

I had the same problem with my oldest. I made the mistake of holding him until he went to sleep from the beginning. Also, he never used a binky. When I finally decided to put him down awake, I had the problem of him crying it out. Usually, he'd cry until he sicked up. It was horrible. I then tried a small, safe toy. He'd play with it, in his bed until he went to sleep. He needed the help to self-soothe. It worked for both my kids. I hope this helps. Oh, I used matchbox cars for the toy. It worked for them. My youngest is nine and still takes a toy to bed to play with before he goes to sleep.
One other thing you might whant to try is putting him to bed a little earlier. He may be over tired. I hope this helps. Good luck!!!!

Based on what you have described, I think you know how to put children down to sleep. It sounds like you need to enlist the help of your husband. You can't do it all by yourself. You are a good mother. You just need to get tougher with your children and your husband. It will teach your children independence and make your husband a better father and husband. Good luck.

What a great bonding experience to rock your baby to sleep! She must really trust you to listen to her feelings and needs.
The book "No-Cry Sleep Solution" is really supportive and you will find many gentle ways to let her fall a sleep on her own. Good luck....

Hi E.,
I feel your pain at nap time. My oldest and only girl, who is now 6, was the worst to get down for a nap. When she was an infant we always put her down after she fell asleep. By 6 months, she would wake right up and cry at nap time and bedtime. So we had to let her start crying it out. It's hard to do, but if you are consistent, she will learn. 11 month olds have more stamina than a 6 month old, so she may be able to cry longer which may make you want to cave. My suggestion would be to begin a nap time routine. Maybe get her a new little blanket that's just for nap time. Change her diaper, darken her room, and read her a story or sing a song. Then tell her it's time to take a nap and you will see her when nap time is over. We've always used a sound spa on "white noise" in the baby's room, as well, to block out other noises in the house. I still do this whole routine with our 2 1/2 yr old (my 3rd) and he takes 1 1/2 hr nap everyday. Give it all time. If you are consistant with a routine and let her cry it out if she needs to, I bet you will have her napping on her own in a week or two. Blessings on this difficult task. Don't let yourself think you are a bad mom if she cries. Remind yourself that you are teaching her something very important!
C. M

Oh, I am so sorry! My baby is the same.. he loves to be rocked to sleep. But he is my only one. It would be hard to do if I had other kids. Good luck to you. I'm not a cry it out person either. I'm doing the no cry sleep solution. It takes longer but I don't feel like a horrible mom doing it. Good luck to you!

The book "How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Ferber has saved my life. It is exactly the happy medium you are looking for. I'll sum up the process. You put your child down awake. You pat them & say good night. Then you leave and let them cry for a small interval. It doesn't matter how long the interval is - I'd start at 2-5 minutes. Then you come back in, get them settled again, but DON'T pick them up - you can pat them, talk to them, sing them a song, but only spend a couple of minutes tops. Then increase the interval you let them cry by 1-5 minutes and repeat the process until they're asleep. The time intervals don't really matter - only that it increases every time - so 5 min then 7, then 9 = etc. Do this for naps & bedtime - along with having a set nighttime & nap routine. Just don't cave in and take her out of the crib - it only teaches her that crying hard gets her what she wants & encourages her to cry forever. You should see improvement right away - and usually within a week to a week and a half, she will be going right to sleep. I like this method because 1)it has always worked for me and 2)it lets the child feel some security because they learn that you are always coming back, they just get sick of waiting so long to make it happen. It will eventually teach them to go to sleep on their own. If you have any other questions about sleep, get the book. It's great. Ferber is a sleep scientist and has done the research. Good luck!!

Well I was having the same problem with my 16 month old daughter, she was also a sick little one so I too rocked her to sleep all of the time. Until now, things had gotten so bad that she would wake up at night and then want to stay awake for 3 to 4 hours, which killed me. I am a working mom so that was very hard more. I finally gave in and started putting her in her crib and letting her cry until she fell asleep, I did this even with her naps, the first time she cryed about 30 mins and now that we have been doing this for about 5 days she is doen to about five minutes. So the crying it out worked for me and my family. I wish you luck it is so hard to now what is right. I am sure that you are a great mom even thought we all have our times when we do not feel that we are that great.
Good luck
B.

It seems like we go through the cycle of learning how to nap alone after every illness--so I'm right here with you. I don't have one method that works every day because unfortunately my patience level is different every day, with that being said, this is what I try to do-- I spend a few minutes snuggling with my dd in her room before her nap or bed. I also give her choices to lay right side up or upside down on her bed. We've even made up a bed on the floor for her a couple of times. I put it in her hands to the extent I am comfortable with what she chooses. I don't care if she takes her nap on her bed or on the floor, or which end of her bed the pillow is on, but she feels she is in control of the situation. If she is good about going down, we get some extra snuggle time, if not, then I tell her I feel sad we missed out on the snuggle, maybe next time. Some days when I am out of patience, I have to just make a decision for her when she is trying to drag it out--and I shut the door and let her get mad. My dd is 26 mo. now so I can tell I know she is upset and I will respect that, when she is calm and ready I can come snuggle with her for a few minutes. I don't go back in until she is calm--because I can't handle the fits, she is out of control and it is too easy for me to get frustrated with that, so I have found for me that giving her permission to take time to get it back under control helps us both out. I think it is teaching her that her feelings are valid and to go ahead and express them but if that sometimes we need to do that on our own in our room to process how we are feeling so we don't hurt our loved ones. I can then go in when she has gotten her frustration out and we can then bond in a positive way instead of fighting.

I couldn't stand to hear my daughter cry it out either, but I did it. I would go in every five minutes and lay her back down, rub her back and walk out. I was in her room for less than two minutes. The first day it took 45 minutes before she fell asleep. The second day took 18. The third day took 7, and she has fallen asleep on her own ever since. You are not a bad mommy for letting her cry it out. As long as you are checking on her while she is crying she knows you are not abandoning her. You might also want to start a naptime routine. Maybe rock her, read a book, and then down for the nap, so she knows that it is coming. Good luck.

Have the other children lay down also. Your 11 month old can hear them playing and doesn't want to miss anything. I would try and set a timer for all 3 and tell them in 30 min if they are quiet they can get up. After the baby is asleep and 30 min are up let the older ones up to play quietly. It will give you 30 min of down time to breath (after chasing 3 children). It worked great for me!!

I agree with Debbie F. I also wonder if your daughter needs as many naps as you are trying to give her. You don't say how often she is napping, but with my son, if he wouldn't sleep for a nap, it meant he didn't need that nap any more. (He started out sleeping almost all the time, so there were a lot of naps to stop taking!)

"The Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg offers some ideas for what you are looking for. She has a way to encourage sleep that is in between the "No Cry Sleep Solution" (you could look at that book too) and crying it out. The crying it out can't work if you "cave"--after a few times, they learn that they just need to keep crying and you will eventually come in and get them.... So you may have sabatoged that method. I also agree with the other post that said your daughter wants to be awake with the other kids...my son HATES napping when something is going on!

It is so hard to meet the needs of the whole family, huh? Clearly letting her cry doesn't feel right to you, so you need a different way. What happens when you wait till she's super tired before trying a nap? This might reduce the time it takes to put her down, or it could backfire and it might take longer. Have you tried letting your big kids watch a video while you put her down? Or maybe have rest/reading time where everyone retreats to a quiet spot so you know where the others are. Last idea... use a baby sling and just tote her around while you do other tasks at nap time and perhaps she'll just fall asleep without any time spend "putting her to sleep" then you can lay her down. Good luck finding a solution that works for you.

Hi E.,
Our little girl had a big season of sickness last fall and I wound up in the same napping situation with her. I came to depend on a musical toy to help her unwind and settle herself down to sleep for naps. We use the Baby Einstein Baby Neptune Soothing Seascape. It has six or so songs that run about a minute apiece. You can set it to run on its own through all of the songs twice (about 12 minutes of music) or the baby can push the button to start the song. Our daughter (now 15 mo) will the button to start songs and change it through to the ones she wants to hear. Sometimes I hear the music playing in the middle of the night, so I know that she has woken up and is using the music to relax herself back to sleep. There are a couple of little fish that chase each other, she talks to them for a few minutes then falls asleep. It cost about $25 and we use rechargeable batteries in it. Totally worth the price! Good luck!!
K. & Baby Lydia

I just want to assure you that you do NOT have to let your baby CIO for her to learn to sleep on her own. Get the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" and give it a go. I think it will give you the "happy medium" you are seeking. It may take longer than the CIO methods, but I believe it is worth it.