Need Help Getting Sleep

Hello-

This sounds so familiar, here is what eventually worked for us. One early morning when my son was crying I just could not get up, so I told my husband to go tell him it is not time to get up yet. Believe it or not it worked he settled himself back down and slept till morning.

Good Luck

He "only" sleeps eight hours? That's fabulous! I would just continue to soothe him when he wakes up until he goes back to sleep. Maybe you should move your bed time up to earlier in the evening so that you get more sleep before he wakes up. I know that lots of people are going to write (and have already written) and say that you should not rock your baby to sleep, but I really hate that kind of advice. Rock your baby to sleep while you still have a baby to rock, they grow up too fast and this time is so precious, we never realize just how precious unitl it is gone. I think that babies were meant to be rocked and cuddled and nursed as much as possible, it helps them to grow up to be emotionally healthy.

I would suggest not rocking him to sleep anymore. He needs to learn how to fall asleep on his own. I think many babies may wake up during the night but know how to put themselves back to sleep. He probably cries because he is used to having you put him back to sleep. Anyway, it may be hard but I would say put him to sleep awake and if he wakes up in the middle of the night let him cry himself back to sleep. I know this is hard but it will do him a bigger service in the end to allow him to be able to put himself back to sleep. Good luck!

If you want him to sleep until he's rested & ready to get up, you need to stop rocking him to sleep. He has become dependent on that. So when he wakes up during his sleep time, (as we all do periodically throughout the night), he can't soothe himself back to sleep without your help. You need to help him learn to fall asleep without your help. If you need tips, check out the book, 'How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Ferber. He has lots of good, practical hints. Good luck!

Dont know if you are still nursing and/or working. I nursed my babies until about 2 yrs of age; I also did not have to work, so I would just nurse them to sleep and most of the time I would sleep when they slept. During the day mostly just for a 20 min power nap in the afternoons. I would just lay down with him & snuggle until he falls back to sleep--maybe sleep myself along with him if possible. Maybe some bath time would help relax him.

We had to use the cry it out method with our little girl. It was very hard for me at first but my husband was my rock and wouldn't let me cave. She doesn't cry more than fifteen min. Every now and again we have to let her cry it out but it is worth it. Kinda like time outs. lol good luck.

8 hours is really good, sounds like he is hungry to me I wouldn't just try to get him back to sleep.

I read a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child" by Marc Weissbluth and it changed my life! My daughter went from waking up every 2 hours (at 6 months!) to sleeping 13 hours! Sleep is definitely an ongoing process and you have to make adjustments along the way, so I refer to this book often. Hope this helps.

A.

I agree with most of what's already been said. It is probably time to stop rocking him to sleep...as hard as that may be for you...I think as moms we reach a point where we need it more that our child does. I have a two-year-old and we've drastically altered her bedtime routine from when she was a baby based on her needs. Now I do rock her but only while I read her a book. When the book is done the rocking is over and it's time for hugs and kisses. It is very important that your son learns to fall back to sleep on his own but it is really up to you how you teach him. It's difficult to hear the crying in the morning...I think you should go in if you want to, but try not to rock him...if he has awaken, start the morning with him..breakfast, getting dressed, etc. It is possible that he is sleeping too long during the day...if you would like him to sleep longer at night you could try waking him up from his nap a few minutes early over a period of time and putting him to bed at night a bit earlier to compensate. If it's done gradually you may not notice much change in behavior during the transition. You can find a sleep chart online that will give you an idea of the amount of sleep a 14 mo. old should be getting in a 24 hr. period..(i believe it is about 15 hours)if he is getting that amt. he is fine...At about that age, my daughter started waking up earlier and earlier...but for us we just decided to go down to one long (2-3 hrs) nap during the day...her sleeping pattern stabilized and she regularly slept 12 hrs a night. But, you should know that not all children sleep 12 hrs at night...and it is completely normal if the total number of hours they are sleeping in 24 hrs. is close to average for their age...as long as his sleeping schedule doesn't disrupt the family.

I feel like I can write a book on this topic because of all the research and trips to the doctor. We've had the same problem with our daughter.

Some days our tricks would work and some days they would not. The days that did my husband and I were eternally greatful.

Here's some things we did:
1. Change her diaper, give her a sippy of milk, give her a kiss and tell her it is too early to wake up, she is still tired, and that she HAS TO go back to sleep. We'd turn off the monitor and not go into her room until 5:30 or 6 am.

2. Put a brighter light in her room. She literally sleeps with a lamp now and I swear if we would have done that earlier she would have slept through the night. 14 months is when their imaginations go wild, and maybe your son is scared. Night lights cast scary shadows, but a soft, dim/bright enough light helped us.

3. Experts say let them cry it out and do not go in at all. I HATE this theory. The times I tried it my daughter would cry so hard she's make herself thrown up. I'd go up to her room feeling like the worst mother in the world. Then I'd have to change her sheets and make more of a production out of her issue than entirely necessary. I mention it because it DOES work for some toddlers.

4.Sleep on the floor in his room when he wakes up too early and you are at wits end. This shows him that you are there, but it's still time to sleep. He may zonk, he may not, but at least you can get in another hour of sleep and send a message to your son it's time for him to sleep too, and this is how.

5. My doctor also recommends giving a toddler a piece of fruit or a cracker, and then putting your child back down right away. Your son could be going through a growth spurt and may be hungry.

6. Stop rocking him to sleep. Leave the room while he is on the verge of falling aleep. It is proven that toddlers who fall asleep by rocking do not know how to put themselves back to sleep on their own. Instead, focus on a bedtime routine. An easy one is a long warm bath, dim lights, and a few stories. He will learn to associate bedtime with these activities instead of rocking. Plus it will empower him because he can go to sleep on his own, and put himself back to sleep. I believe this helps in early development of good self-esteem. If it does not work for you though, do not fret!

I've read all the other responses and I am happy to hear those things worked for the other moms. I've also tried just one method, but it did not work for our daughter. Remember that some toddlers require a multitude of methods because their issues change on a daily basis. Your son may not be sleeping because he's constipated, or he's scared, or he's thirsty, he's testing his boundaries with your attention, or he just wants to see his momma. Whatever it is, it is going to require a different action, or it may not! Consistency has a time and place, be willing to bend the rules and explore different ways.

Best wishes, hang in there, good luck! There's no one answer for such a complicated issue, but hopefully some of these work for you and your family!
K. F.

First of all, 8 hours in a row is fantastic!!!! Some kids don't do that until like kindergarton. I would suggest letting him cry it out for 10 minutes, then go in and check on him. Lay him back down and wait for another 20 minutes, then go in and check on him. Lay him back down and go in at 40 minutes. Repeat this, doubling the time until he falls asleep. That's how I taught my first son to sleep through the night. But again, 8 hours is really pretty good!

I know you have a lot of advice already, and I'll say my usual speal that every child is different and things have worked differently for different people. Use what advice works best for you. My suggestion is to not rock him to sleep. Sometimes my kids bedtimes consist of me rocking and singing to them, and sometimes reading to them, but never to sleep. They will depend on that to go to sleep. You could still rock him a little, just make sure it isn't to sleep. Then in the morning when he wakes up, just like what a lot of other people said, let him learn to self soothe. You can go in, but don't take him out, and eventually end that too. Both of my kids have slept better and through the night when we taught them to self soothe. It's not that we ignore them, we often would go in and lay them back down, give them a pacifier, and then leave, but make it clear they weren't coming out. Anyways, I hope this helps.

Hi S.,
My little one did that for a while also, I figured out that she was hungry after 8 hours of sleep. Try to feed him a bit more for dinner than you are used to and try heavier foods so he is full, also up the ounces of milk before bed time. Also, at that age they should not be sleeping more than 2 hours during the day.Each kid is different, but this is what worked for me. Good luck!

Now is the time to set a routine with what is doable with your family. Make it known with him and talk about it openly about what time its ok to wake up in the morning. Maybe bring him a sippy cup of something to drink and whisper to him to go back to sleep or to just lay down and rest your eyes. My daughter has ever been a big sleeper. She never took napes during the day even as a baby. To this day she wakes up as soon as she sees the sun, no matter what time she went to sleep. I've been very persistant about them needing their rest time from 9-8. To this day both of my older kids (6 and 3) stay in their room untill I get up in the mornings and still stay in their bed resting, and on the weekends its not untill 9 :) I would stick with your routine you have now, he still does need coudle time with mom since hes used to it. Just be firm with him and he will get the idea, it will work. Trust me :)

Good Luck!

We do the healthy sleep habits by dr. weisbluth at our house. That means, if you put baby to bed, unless they're sick or hurt, you don't go back in. Baby will cry if he knows you'll come running. I know you think you're doing a good thing by responding to your child, but you're actually disturbing his sleep by going to him when he cries. The best thing to do is not to rock him to sleep, but develop a good bed-time routine and put baby down in his crib when he's drowsy but not asleep. This allows your child to learn how to fall asleep on his own. It sounds like he also need to learn how to fall BACK to sleep on his own, which means not going to him when he cries after 8 hours. I know it's hard. Trust me, I was one of those people who never let their kid cry (I thought it was so mean to let your kid cry themselves to sleep). But once I realized I wasn't doing her any favors by not letting her learn how to fall asleep on her own, I changed my mind. She sleeps great all night long. And sometimes when she wakes up in the morning early, she'll hang out in her crib and entertain herself until wake-up time.

Anyway, pick up the book. It's really great! You can probably even check it out from the library. Good luck!

Both of my kids have gone through stages like this. All I did is if they won't calm down after being left alone for a few minutes, I will go in without turning the light on or talking to them then try rocking them back to sleep. After awhile of realizing that if they wake up too early then it is not playtime they usually start sleeping a little longer.

Well that's kinda a tough one. Some babies are really bad about sleeping, my daughter goes to bed at 8 everynight but is a very early riser. She wakes up anywhere from 6am until 7:30am. Yes that is more than 8 hours but it is still hard to get up a 6. So I know how you feel. The only thing I can think that you might want to try is stop rocking him to sleep. He is depending on the rocking to go to sleep and then when he wakes after 8 hours he lacks the ability to fall back asleep therefore he is up and still tired. So you can try the cry it out method although I know lots of Mom's think that is too mean, but believe me it works. So if you want more info on that let me know.

When I decided enough was enough, and it was time for my little guy to stop waking for food/cuddles, I started putting him to bed while he was still awake. When he woke up at night, if he was screaming, I would go in and make sure his diaper wasn't dirty and rub his back until he calmed down. It does seem mean, I understand that ENTIRELY (I held off on doing it that way until I had tried everything else... I thought he would think I was abandoning him). But in the end, getting your little guy the sleep he needs (and getting YOUR sleep as well) is detrimental for you both. After a few nights, he caught on and it has been super easy ever since.
Good luck to you!!!

S., I feel good if I have 8 hours of sleep and I don't always wake up chipper and happy. Maybe 8 hours is all he needs and then some time to wake up. If he sleeps longer than 8 hours at night, would he still take a nap in the afternoon? 8 hours seems like it should be long enough to me.

You are very lucky you have a 14 mos old that sleeps that long of stretches.
Kids vary on sleep.

He could very well be teething, growth spurts both of which can cause disruption. My suggestion is you go in, give him a teething tablet (they dissolve instantly) or before bedtime give him some Motrin (which only lasts 8 hours). I am willing to bet big time it is teething, which at night can cause a lot more pain. Do you notice excess slobber, chewing, red gums?
Don't rush in to pick him up as that will create a bad habit, however, get him a sound machine, fan or white noise to help him get himself back to sleep without your assistance.

Kids ALL wake up during the night at some point of their sleep, you can teach him to soothe himself back to sleep by not picking him up. Get a new stuffed friend or something too.

Of course he needs more sleep, at 1 1/2 he should be getting close to 14 hours total night AND day time with naps. The difference is teaching the self soothing, helping him over the teething hump or growth spurt. Rub his back if you have to if he just screams but my suggestion is do not rush into him, I always gave my kids a good 10 minutes of fussing (unless they were sick) before I went into them after the year mark and 90% of the time they went back to sleep themselves.

Hugs and good luck, he will go through many phases believe me with waking for differnt reasons over the next few years.

Sounds like his natural clock is going to be 8 hours. Nothing you can do will change that. You can, however, put him down for a nap soon after he gets up and fed. Then he will get the rest he seems to need.
I would advise you to get out of the habit of rocking him to sleep. When you are gone on a date or wherever, he will not go to bed for a sitter, and that will make both of them miserable. I made that mistake, and rocked my last son until he was 2. It took 4 nights of letting him cry (with me gone because I couldn't stand it...) before he'd go down and sleep by himself. It is so hard when we mamas love our babies so much!

Try to not rock him to sleep before bed. It will be hard at first, but he needs to learn to fall asleep on his own. When he cries, check on him every five minutes. Lay him back down if he is standing up and whisper to him that it is time to go to sleep. Good Luck!

Hi S.,
All children are different...as you will find out if you have more children. My husband and I let our girls "self-sooth" after a certain age. It was hard at first but they got the hang of it. As a mother you want to stop the crying and help your child as much as you can, sometimes it's more of a hinderance to the child. I would check them to make sure they were fine, then I would not pick them up, i would hug them and reassure them.. lay them back down, give them their blanket, doll or whatever they used for security. They would fall back to sleep and if they cried after i left, i would just stand by the door to make sure they were fine. BUT did not go back in. Hope that helps... hang in there!

All of the suggestions are great but going by the book usually only works for a handful of children. In your case you need to find what works for you. Anyway, my suggestion is look at his daily schedule - how long is his afternoon nap? When is he eating dinner in comparison to when he goes to bed? These all have an affect on when he wakes up. You will probably have to not respond right away if you want him to go back to sleep...you coming in there is waking him up fully. If he is not crying and is just playing in his crib let him play...my little girl will play for 20 -30 minutes before she gets bored and starts really crying to get out. Well, I hope you are able to get some sleep. For his age though 8 hours is pretty good, especially if he is taking a nap or two during the day. Good luck!

You might try the no cry sleep solution, or the no cry sleep solution for toddlers by Elizabeth Pantley. One theory is that if you rock them to sleep, they don't learn how to fall asleep without being rocked. Then when they wake, they can't get back to sleep. You might try a new method--like sitting next to the bed, and gradually moving out of the room.

It might also be time to get rid of one nap--maybe he is getting enough sleep with two naps and 8 hours at night?

Good luck!