Hi,
My son was also very colicky/high maintenance. He would never sleep without someone laying down with him. He nursed forever. He was also very attached to the bottle and the pacifier. Basically, as I said, very high maintenance and very oral.
By three, however, he gave everything up on his own. And now I have to say, I'm really glad I waited him out. He has no oral high ups. No nail biting. There was never any thumb sucking. He doesn't seem to be compulsive about food or anything of this nature.
We certainly began limiting these items when we could. When my son was in day care at about two, we limited the pacifier to home and naps at school. The bottle was also eventually limited to home. Then the bottle was limited only to morning wake up and before bed time. I never let him sleep with the bottle. Nothing but straight milk ever went into it. So if he wanted juice or water or chocolate milk, he had to use a cup. I also used chocolate milk with skim milk (I know. It never seemed like it should be appealing to me. But is was a big motivator for my son.)as a lure to use the sippy cup. Eventually, if he forgot to use the pacifier or the bottle on an occassion, I then eliminated it from that part of the routine. When we began brushing his teeth, he could only have a sip of water from a cup afterwards. That also eliminated the bottle from the bedtime routine. Some pacifiers and bottles were sent to "the needy babies." Even later, to completely get rid of the pacifier, we set up a sticker system. He got a sticker for every day he went without using it. Then he got a big prize at the end of the week. This was so effective that he chose to give up the bottle on his own. At the time, there was a lot of discussion about how big he was getting and how wonderful that was. A special teacher expressed surprise when she learned that he was still using the bottle. So basically he was ready. If we'd used these incentives earlier it wouldn't have worked because he'd been up until that time very resistant to being called "big." He wanted to be a baby.
So believe me, it was a very gradual process. And I had some serious reservations during the early days. But it all turned out fine and I'm pleased that we let him resolve this issue on his own schedule.
That's what worked for us. You may need to do something different. Good luck in any event.
Regards,
A.