Need Help on Weaning 17 Month Old off His Bottle!!!

Updated on April 02, 2008
G.H. asks from East Brookfield, MA
16 answers

I have a 17 month old son named gabriel and also a 3 1/2 month old named Caleb. They are both wonderful little boys and only 13 months apart! My oldest son Gabe was very colicky when he was born. He cried a lot and was on special formula (Alimentum). At the age of 1 we transitioned him over 2 milk very slowly but stayed with the bottle. We didnt want to push too many changes on him too soon. He uses a sippy cup during the day for juice and water. I give him milk in a sippy cup in the morning and he takes a few sips but thats it..he still likes a bottle before his naps (he takes 2 a day still). I just recently started to give him a little milk in a sippy cp before his first nap while reading him a book..he takes a few sips but thats all..then if I dont lay with him for a few minutes letting him fall asleep on me he will not nap (unless hes so exhausted from crying then he will pass out) He never liked a pacifier so it seems he used the bottle to soothe himself. He also has a bottle before bedtime. My pedi hasnt made a huge deal about it..she just said he can get his dairy in other ways..but I really want to transition him. I dont want this to drag on and he become dependent on a bottle forever. Hes an energetic, happy and fun little boy. My 2nd son is extremely laid back and not colicky at all although he is on special formula too. Im just not sure what to do. Sometimes I feel bad wanting to take the bottle away and a lot of people said its not a big deal..but I just really need some way to do this even if it takes awhile. any advice please help!!!

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So What Happened?

Thank you to those of you who responded to me so positively!!!! I am doing this slowly but it seems to be going well so far. He is drinking more and more milk out of his sippy cup everyday. I guess I am using a combination of a lot of the advice I received. It was hard to just think about throwing them all away. I understand the concept and I know it must work for a lot of little ones out there, but with having a 3 month old in the house using the same kind of bottles, it kind of defeats the purpose. I am weaning him off slowly using sippy cups half the time and bottles with less and less the other half and its working well. Hey we are not prefect parents by ANY means but doing a pretty good job. I guess you learn the most from you first child..because out sedond has been a PIECE of CAKE!! Thanks again!! :)

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A.M.

answers from New London on

My suggestion: take the bottles away, pack them up, throw them away and never look back. In my opinion, 17 months is too old for a bottle to begin with but that's only my opinion. With my son, there was no weaning process. I felt that would just make it harder. We packed them up one day and got rid of them. He cried on and off for a few days, but that was it.

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M.F.

answers from Pittsfield on

You are already doing the right thing... so very slowly when taking away the bottles.
Try to give him just a little milk in a bottle and a full sippy cup at the same time.
When the bottle is empty tell him "theres still some in the sippy cup" he should take to it in a matter of days

ps. I let my kids drink from a bottle untill 2 1/2 years old.
as long as you brush their teeth thoughouly twice a day they should be fine.

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K.A.

answers from Boston on

Hi G.. When I transitioned my son off the bottle I gave him less and less each night. So for instance if he got 6 oz before bed monday night, I gave him 5 the next and then 4 the next and then 3 after and so forth. If he wanted more I told him he could have it in a sippy until it was just sippy before bed. It is amazing how much the little ones forget, if you just stick to your guns he wont even remember the bottle! Good luck.

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K.T.

answers from Boston on

Hi G.:

I JUST went through this with my daughter. First off, my oldest was off the bottle at 12mo, he hated it, yet he loved the paci. My daughter, who is 21mo now. She never took to a paci, yet LOVED her bottles. I started her with using a sippee cup at about 10mo old. And gradually dropped the number of bottles a day. Probally by 13mo old she was using a bottle only at night. And just last week, I dropped that nightime bottle. Just for the reason that I thought I would!! She has done fine with it, and I give her a sippee cup of milk just before bed. She doesnt seem to miss the bottle at all. My suggestion is to do it slow....... gradually drop a bottle a day til he is on a nighttime bottle only .....Although I dont know if him seeing your youngest with a bottle might pose a issue. I think you are doing a great job in considering this option for him.
Best of Luck

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B.D.

answers from Boston on

I feel for you!

A slightly different approach (and similar to a suggestion below) to the dropping the number of bottles offered is to get your munchkin to want the cup more than the bottle. With DD1, I started watering down the milk in the bottle while keeping the normal and needless to say better tasting milk in the sippy cup. The more watered down and grosser the bottle got - and let's be honest, watered down milk is gross, the more interested she became in the cup. Oh, honey, is that bottle yucky? Here, try the milk in the cup. It worked with both DDs. Good luck!

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E.B.

answers from Pittsfield on

I think you can completely relax about it and not lay this trip on yourself or your son. Everything I've read and felt says that your stress and struggle about it will only result in creating stress and resistance for him, prolonging his bottle use firther! whereas if you let it go, don't worry about it or try to interfere, he will grow out of it in his own time when he is ready, with no big deal. I am sure he will self wean when he is ready, with ease and G. for both of you. no one goes to first grade drinking from a bottle. I promise he will grow out of it, it will not drag on forever. there is nothing wrong with it and it's not harming him. only your stress about it will. good luck!

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A.M.

answers from Boston on

i mostly breast feed but i work evenings and my son had a bed time bottle, slowly about an ounce a week we weaned him off the bottle, when we got down to 4oz i would slowly dilute the bottle more water then milk until he had 2 oz of diluted milk he eventully didnt want it for one week we just had it with him incase the whole process took almost 2mo but it quitely faded the bottle out

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A.C.

answers from Boston on

Hi,

My son was also very colicky/high maintenance. He would never sleep without someone laying down with him. He nursed forever. He was also very attached to the bottle and the pacifier. Basically, as I said, very high maintenance and very oral.

By three, however, he gave everything up on his own. And now I have to say, I'm really glad I waited him out. He has no oral high ups. No nail biting. There was never any thumb sucking. He doesn't seem to be compulsive about food or anything of this nature.

We certainly began limiting these items when we could. When my son was in day care at about two, we limited the pacifier to home and naps at school. The bottle was also eventually limited to home. Then the bottle was limited only to morning wake up and before bed time. I never let him sleep with the bottle. Nothing but straight milk ever went into it. So if he wanted juice or water or chocolate milk, he had to use a cup. I also used chocolate milk with skim milk (I know. It never seemed like it should be appealing to me. But is was a big motivator for my son.)as a lure to use the sippy cup. Eventually, if he forgot to use the pacifier or the bottle on an occassion, I then eliminated it from that part of the routine. When we began brushing his teeth, he could only have a sip of water from a cup afterwards. That also eliminated the bottle from the bedtime routine. Some pacifiers and bottles were sent to "the needy babies." Even later, to completely get rid of the pacifier, we set up a sticker system. He got a sticker for every day he went without using it. Then he got a big prize at the end of the week. This was so effective that he chose to give up the bottle on his own. At the time, there was a lot of discussion about how big he was getting and how wonderful that was. A special teacher expressed surprise when she learned that he was still using the bottle. So basically he was ready. If we'd used these incentives earlier it wouldn't have worked because he'd been up until that time very resistant to being called "big." He wanted to be a baby.

So believe me, it was a very gradual process. And I had some serious reservations during the early days. But it all turned out fine and I'm pleased that we let him resolve this issue on his own schedule.

That's what worked for us. You may need to do something different. Good luck in any event.

Regards,

A.

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J.H.

answers from Boston on

I am in the same boat as you! My almost 16 month daughter is having trouble with the transition to milk in the sippy cup. She will only have one or two sips of milk if it is in the sippy but 7 or 8 ounces in a bottle. I tried the whole milk in the sippy only when she got off formula and she didn't fall for it. My pedi said I should aim to have her off the bottle by 18 months. I am having anxiety over it. When I took away the afternoon bottle she walked around the house with a spitty diaper under her chin for hours and whined. I felt so mean!! I am hoping you will get some helpful advice I can use myself!

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C.M.

answers from Boston on

Hi G.,
I also had 2 children that loved their bottles but truth be said this bottle at this point in his life is quite simply a security thing...if he can drink from a sippy all day then he does not need that bottle and is using it to self soothe. Also the added comfort of you laying with him until he falls asleep is also teaching him to not soothe himself...He can do this at this stage of his life it is just more difficalt for us to watch them suffer throught this if you will. He is not suffering just wants what he wants but by not teaching him the correct ways to soothe himself now you are setting him up and yourself up for alot of misery down the road. I know it is going to be hard but talk to him and tell him before you read the book that he can have a drink like a big boy and then read him his book and tuck him in with a nice huggie, and tell him it is time for a nap...yes, hes going to go nuts...but he has to understand this boundry..this is one of the first ones that hes able to really push but needs to know that when it is nap time its time to sleep. I layed down with my second child because he was too active and didnt want to take away the bottle he loved either...it was soooo hard but i didnt stop laying down with him consequently my NINE year old son still has a hard time settling got used to me cuddling...3rd child came and we learned :) dropped her in the crib since day one and when she could physically drink from a sippy cup the bottle was now not necesszry...she had learned the skill of drinking...we took it away...shes happy well adjusted and now puts herself to bed when she needs a nap...dont ask how that happend its a miracle:) shes 5 and was taught how to self soothe...huge difference in these 2 kids. and a lot less hassle for at sleeping times. check the loveandlogic.com website amazing techniques for setting limits for very young children. It works until they are adults...my oldest is 18 and he uses it on my younger ones as that is what was used on him...it works. Youll both get through this and the best lesson you can teach him is his own boundries and yours as well.
Good luck
C.

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C.C.

answers from Hartford on

I have had two sons (16 months apart - now ages 6 and 4 1/2)) on Alimentum, and a third baby boy (5 months) currently on Nutramigen. The best advice my pediatrician gave me was to never put milk in a bottle, so they just plain don't associate milk with their old formula bottle. I never had one issue on both of my older sons' first birthdays with whole milk in a sippy cup. That ship has sailed for your first child, but I highly recommend this method with your second child. I have a close friend who was in the same predicament you are in with your older son, and I swear she secretly still gives him a bottle of milk before bed, and he's 5! But similarly to weaning off of the binky (we had issues with our second son and the binky - he was over age 3!), kids can surprise you with how they adjust. I dreaded taking that binky away from him, and finally we just did it, and I don't even remember any drama. I think maybe he cried for an extra three minutes that first night. So just take the bottles away - tell him you gave them to the hospital for other babies - or to the bottle fairy - and you just might be surprised at how he adjusts when he thinks there is no choice.

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C.F.

answers from Pittsfield on

Hi G.,
My kids were all mostly breastfed, so they didn't get too many bottles, but I still had to wean them from nursing. I have found that with any kind of weaning from anything, the biggest issue is consistency, and sometimes a lot of pain at first. It's the same with sleep issues. It sounds like you are on the right track with trying to establish a new naptime routine for him -- the thing is, it will take a few days for him to get used to it, and this might mean putting him down for a nap and letting him cry. Usually after a few days of this, he will know that you mean business. I highly recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. Even though your issue is not primarily a sleep issue, it does tie in, and is a huge help taking you step by step through establishing sleep routines. We've had to use it several times when trying to transition our 6 kids through different stages, and in your situation, where the transition is tied in with patterns of soothing to sleep, it could really help you, too. Just for the record, I am totally with you on the weaning thing -- I don't at all think that you are cruel for not wanting your son to be dependent on the bottle. Plus, it's easier transitioning them young because they've had less time to form that dependency. Most of my kids I've been able to attach to a blanket or stuffed animal which helps them self-soothe at sleep times. We weaned all our kids from nursing at naptimes and eventually bedtimes, and also from using a pacifier, and they don't seem to be suffering from any ill effects from it. In my case, it was always more of me not wanting to fight the pain for the few days it took to establish the behaviors I wanted to establish. Keep up the good work.

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

Your doing the right thing! I like the suggestion of watering the bottle down until he no longer likes it, while at the same time offering a cup of straight up milk. Also, with my first son, who LOVED his bottle, I found these sippy cups that had softer, nipple material sippers. They are made my NUK. It made for an easier transition. You will find that his milk consumption goes down dramatically at first, but will then pick up again as he adjusts to a cup. Good luck!

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K.V.

answers from Boston on

He won't be on it forever! Especially, he won't take it into his marriage! haha
He is still little, give him some more time. Culture wants babies to grow up so fast and they should be able to be babies, a little longer....my opinion!

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D.B.

answers from Burlington on

In my opinion, feel free to take it slowly if that is what is right for you and your son. Most of the common wisdom about needing to teach a baby to "self soothe" seems to be falling apart little by little as this is researched. For example, babies who are not picked up as often when they cry (i.e., there needs are not met as quickly) are less likely to be able to self soothe as they get older. This push for early independence is very American and might not be in the best interest of our kids...all within reason, of course.

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L.P.

answers from Boston on

i went through this with my oldet he didnt get off the bottle until 19 months. I started by giving him the choice of water in a bottle or milk in a cup. he never wanted the water so he would take the cup. he of course had his crying episodes and i did loose some slep but i kept up with it for a week straight and he gave up. If your son doesnt like the sippy cup mabe you should try giving him a regular cup he mind like it because its not like a bottle at all.

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