Need Help Talking to 5 Year Old Daughter About Her Body

I have 2 girls ages 7&8 and we always called their private a woo-woo and it just seemed to stick. But on another subject. My 8 year old also had similar problems and the doctor recommended her to sleep without underware on and that she only took showers and rinsed and dried herself really well. I went and bought her some girl boxers from Old Navy and since we've been sticking to what the doctor said, her problems have went away. Hope it helps:)

My daughter calls hers her "business" because it's nobody's business but hers. I know that sounds weird, but it helps her remember it's hers and no one else's.
My mom called it a "cooter" :-).
kp

Sorry I'm late to respond but I was on vacation. I had the same dilemma when my now 17 yr old daughter was little- right down to very frequent yeast infections! I decided basically that we would call her privates her "tushie" (spelling?). I know sometime people will call their rear end their tush... but it worked out fine. As she grew older & needed to learn more & the proper names for everything I taught her more. Good luck with the chronic yeast infections! My daughter still is rather susceptible to them even now- when she is on antibiotics, or seemingly "just because" but it isn't as bad. One thing that helped greatly when she was little was giving her showers instead of baths- and NEVER, EVER use bath bubbles! Hope this helped!

E.,
Ok so here is my 2 cents. :-) I also was raised with everything down there called bottom. I wanted my girls to know about and have control over their bodies.

My oldest was 3 when she asked what her privates were and we simply call it by it's proper name - vulva. The vagina is actually only a small part of the female's internal anatomy. I think it is important not to use nicknames so that she can communicate with the other adults in her life (like a Doctor) who may not understand the nickname.

Also in teaching the proper name from the start than she will not have relearn her body parts. And it seems to me that when we use nicknames it implies shame or embarrassment, and what is there to be embarrassed about? Do we make up nick names for nose or eye?

Since I did not grow up with knowledge of my own body I made sure that I educated myself before I answered any of my daughters questions. There are even some really good children's books that talk about bodies can even go into the difference between boys and girls (for whenever she is ready for that).

E.-
I think honesty is the best policy, no matter the age. I'll tell you why....I am a Pure Romance Consultant. My job is to educate women (18yrs and older) about their bodies and help them have safer, healthier intimate relationships. Now, in my line of work, talking about genitals in an every day thing. BUT you would be AMAZED and PERPLEXED by the huge # of grown women who do not know what their parts and pieces are really called. I had a customer (mid 30's) to tell me that when she goes to the OBGYN she refers to "that area" as "Miss Kitty"!!! (my face had to work overtime to remane composed and professional)

Please, for your daughers sake, tell her the correct name of her body parts. If you don't want to delve into extreme detail, that is completely understandable. But she should know that everything you see from the outside (looking in the mirror) is called the vulva. And that she gets the infection in her vagina. One Clinical Sexologist in our group says that the avg. age for talking to kids about sex is age 7. She is not too far off the spectrum for a basic anatomy discussion.

My personal opinion is that you will be doing your daughter a wonderful service if you are open, honest and up-front about the female anatomy. If you start now, it won't be embarrassing to either of you, when she comes to you, as she gets older and experiences changes in her teens.

I hope this helps. Have a wonderful day!

K. Kneeppel

vagina. be honest dont call it what its not. my mom told me wheni was little that babys came from a place between your legs and for years i thought they came out of your thighs lol. so be honest she will be thankful for it later.

My old friend from school always used to call ita hoo ha

I have always heard that you should tell kids the truth about these things when they ask questions, try not to be/seem embarrassed about it, and tell them what is appropriate for their ages at the time they ask questions. I would just call it her "vagina." It's a hard word to say, but it's an accurate and non-derogatory term. I have a friend who does this with her little one, and she seems to have no trouble with it. Good luck!

The earlier you talk straight with her about this issue the more comfortable she's going to be. It's a vagina....call it a vagina. I've never understood making up a bunch of crazy names for something that already has a perfectly fine name. It shouldn't be embarrassing. My daughter just turned two, and she knows exactly where her vagina is and what to call it. It's a non-issue.

This is silly but my friend called hers a noo noo growing up and I thought it was cute so that is what I now call my daughter's. Either that or is it her pee pee. Some say to call it what it is but I don't agree. The V word is just not a nice word to me. Sounds to clinical and weird. Another friend calls her daughter's a monkey and another a wee wee. Silly names but these kids are kids...they will call it what they want in no time anyway. :o)

W.

Absolutely- listen to the ladies below...it is in fact a vagina. Please call it that over something ridiculous. We have a book that refers to the little girls vagina as a wee-wee- UGH. That has to be the worst- I change it everytime. If you are completely opposed to vagina...how about crotch or privates. I also tend to call my daughters "her girl"...I got that from when I used to babysit two boys. Anytime I had to give them a bath I told them to wash their "boys"...it kind of just stuck.

I would go for PEE PEE or Privates.and as far a a yeast infection have you tried giving her yogurt everyday and stopping anything with Stawberry

We call it her tu-tu. She knows girls have vaginas and boys have penises-we call my son's his wee-wee. I tell my daughter we do not let any boys see our tu-tus, boobies or undies, (a boy has been trying to get her to show him her panties-scary at age 5!) You could also come up with something silly that she thinks is secret code or whatever you can come up with!

She is old enough to know the parts' names IF she is asking. So, explain that she has a vagina, vulva, etc. And, discuss with her that we don't discuss these things at church or school. But, if she is having discomfort or problems, she can talk to you, her dad, or the doctor about it. Also, have you tried gentian violet for the yeast? You can get it at herbal stores (and many pharmacies can order it for you...).

Hello E.,
I agree with the other posts here about telling her the actual name of the body part. I also think though that other words could be used that way if you are in public or visiting family who could be uncomfortable them selves in the actual name, then you could keep things a bit more private. I call my daughters he privates'. She does know it is a vagina, but if we are at a store and it itches, then she can say "mommy my private itches".
Get what I'm saying? It is a good idea to learn the appropriate language, but also remember they are kids and that it is still ok to have our little family words to use too.
By all means though, do as you feel comfortable.
Good luck, and I hope you find what works.
T.

As far as the chronic yeast infections go, start feeding her yogurt with the active yeast cultures every day. Also, plain yogurt can be used as a natural alternative to some of the prescribed vaginal creams. It sounds gross, but it works. Just place a tiny bit is all that is needed. Also, taking showers will help and wearing cotton panties.

As with the names, we say private and vagina. Private is a good word when we are in public. And it helps with the conversations that vagina is private. Private means we don't show it to everybody, we don't let other people touch it, and we talk about it among ourselves as needed (no jokes or inappropriate dinner conversation, etc).

Hi. I have two children also...a daughter age 8 and a son age 4. I have just always referred to it as "their privates or private area". This has worked well for them both. That seems to be the only words I could find that didn't sound derogatory and it works for both boys and girls! Hope this helps.

My husband cant seem to get over this either he has to call it a "Peeper" To me it sounds like hes talking about a peeping tom but what ever. I have always told my son proper names "Penis, Vagina" he is 17 months and though he doesn't speak yet he seems to be working things out in his head. My neighbor has a little girl and calls it her "Peaches" I dont care for it but it works for her. Try not to be embarrassed by it. and if you are act like your not when talking to your kids. The last thing they need is to be embarrassed about a god given natural body part! Curiosity is normal!!Good luck.

Hi E.!
Wow! You got lots of input. I think there is nothing wrong with teaching your kids the correct terminology ... my sister's kids call it "privates". Anyway, what I was going to tell you is that I think you will be surprised at what answer will satisfy your daughter. She is probably not looking for some long drawn out anatomy lesson - my guess is you could say this is called a vagina, or vulva, or whatever is you want to explain to her and she will say okay and that will be the end of it! Good luck!

I really think you should just call it what it is. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Vagina isn't a bad word:)

I know this isn't the answer to your question but in regards to the yeast infection...yikes. I've been there. I had them all the time. I got really fed up and demanded a blood test. I have hypothyroid and common cause of crazy hormones. GOt on the meds and am ALL BETTER!! THANK GOD. Also would recommend, acidopholis, and yogurt, both daily. they really help regulate the flora in the body.

Tell your daughter exactly what it is. If she knows there is an issue with her vagina, tell her honestly. My mom never talked about it either and it became taboo. Just tell her, she'll appreciate your honesty.

I'm a fan of using real names for body parts. You don't have to go into great detail, just tell her it's a vagina. There's nothing dirty about that. Like you said, she's too young to know all about sex, but it's important to satisfy her questions. You may be able to find some good age-appropriate books at the library that would help explain it.

Honestly, I would have never thought about this, until my daughter started to ask, and I asked my Mother-In-Law. She calls it her Tinkle. Like when she had a yeast infection, she would tell me her tinkle hurts, and it sounded so much better to me. She also calls it her woohoo...but thats what she came up with herself. Good luck.

E., tell her the truth.
Tell her the 'proper' names that they talk about in books. It is no biggie. Tell her the name if she is aware of what boys privates are called. Just give her the facts... simple.

You don't have to go into details at this age about the birds and the bees per say.

I told my DD who is 5 and this way if anyone ever touches her she knows the proper names and can articulate things. I did tell my DD that those are 'private' areas as well as all area's that are covered by a bathing suit. I call her buttocks her "bottom".

The only way children learn what the words are that are derogatory is if they hear it for the first time from someone else. Because then that is the only word they have learned.

I think if you give her the truth and the simple facts she will be satisfied especially at this age.

you can call it what it is, her vulva, or vulva lips. that is what my daughters (13 and 15) have called that area from the beginning.

My daughter and I refer to 'it' as Lucy. Also, we use the word heiny.... Front or back of heiny...usually works. I know it sounds silly but it works.

E. P,

If your daughter has had a yeast infection since she was 2 months old you should have her doctor check her to she if she is diabetic. These infections are caused by an overgrowth of yeast,caused by too much sugar(glucose)in her system. Try giving her yogurt with active cultures, this helps my husband when he gets a yeast infection and he is diabetic. As for her body parts either tell her the actual names of her body or tell her that it is her private female area. You don't want to give her nicknames because at some point she might repeat what she was told and then she will run the possibility of someone making fun of her which is also damaging. It is always best to be truthful with your children. She is ready for starting school now and she will hear all kinds of things from other kids at school; it's best that she be well informed. You might also want to check with a Urologist to have her urine checked to make sure all is well with her kidneys. Good luck sweetie.

C. K

I think you should call it whatever is comfortable for you. My grandmother called it a "Juda" and "Dupa". Those I think are the polish terms for them. It sounds better in a different language.haha. My girls call it their peepee. They came up with that themselves. They never asked me what it was.
As for the infection, I would give her doses of a probiotic everyday. It will also greatly increase her immune system. Home Economist has a childs probiotic in a powder form. My kids like eating it right off the teaspoon and then drinking some water or juice. I hope she gets rid of it! Good luck. p.s. you can spread regular yogurt on the area to help too. Have used the yogurt for other things and it's nice and cool and makes the area feel better.

When my daughters were young like yours, I taught them to say "my private area", letting them know it was their very own. And as they began to understand
I told them the proper name, not the derogatory.

E., when I was teaching my daughter about the 3 places that no one should touch, I didn't know what to call that area either. I don't know how, but I came up with "wawa". She was about 2 when I started talking about it with her. So maybe she came up with it. I don't know remember. Either way, it was a word that came out of thin air where we both know what it means but doesn't have to get to graphic or derogatory.

You also need help with the chronic yeast infection! Look up "Candida diet" on the internet. Over consumption of sugar and yeast (in breads) feed the yeast in our bodies and make it get out of control. Antibiotics won't cure it - they will only make the problem worse. It will also lead to a possible lifetime of other infections. Been there, done that, cutting out sugar, getting better. Good luck!

L. B.

You could always make up a name for it that would be special for you and your daughter. When my girls were little we had several nicknames for their private areas that allowed me to hold off on the actual names until they were older. A name the two of you share will also be something she may pass down to her little girls.

In my opinion it is better to use correct termonalogy when talking about body parts. Just call it what it is, her vagina. It is not a bad word to say, just like arm or leg, its just a body part.

My son started asking much sooner about p****** p****(age 2). When he was four I got a picture from a human anatomy book and explained it to him scientifically. I explained the names as well as functions of the body parts(male and female). I also explained to him that there wasn't a need for him to explain any of that same info with his friends his age because their parents might not be happy about that. Shortly after that talk, he decided to just refer to it as p****** p****.

There is a book at Bath and Body Works. It is in the American Girl section and it is called All about Me. It is wonderful and very easy to read. I bought it for my daughter and we read it together. Then I put it in her room so she could look at it by herself if she wanted too. If she has an issue with or a question I go get the book and we read about it together. I think it will help

I always used correct terms with my kids too-- My daughter called it her "gina" until she was about 2 1/2. Now she says vagina. We use tushie for butt, though-- I guess that was just what my parents always called your butt--LOL.

Mel

I would just use the term p****** p****.Tell her they are called that because they are private. Only mommy and the doctor can look if they have too.

I have 3 girls.... We call it a pee pee... Or girly area

I would tell her it is her special private area that God put there just for little girls. I always called it a private to my daughter, but my daughter would always follow me into the bathroom and ask what everything was. I would tell her as honestly as I could without being to graphic or technical.

Answer only what she asks. Too much info will only confuse them. Also, tell her the correct words for her body parts. Tell her these are private and personal areas.

I have a 6 yr old son and 4 yr od daughter and they both refer to their p****** p**** as their pee pee. You could also tell her the correct name. There is nothing wring with that.