Need Help to Potty-Train My 3 Year Old!

Updated on March 26, 2008
N.L. asks from Houma, LA
25 answers

My son was excepted in God's Promises in Thibodaux, but he really should be potty trained by now... I have tried to push this issue at home & his current day care, but he is more engaged in activies than the toliet! He will pee if you bring him to the potty, but he does not do it on his own without prompting him. He also has never made #2 on the toliet for us. Please any suggestions...

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S.S.

answers from Florence on

here's a trick I learned with my 3 1/2 year old - go to the toy store and buy a small floating toy that is bigger than the hole in the bottom of the toilet (but easily washable, like a duckie or something). Put it in the toilet and tell him to pee-pee on the duck (or orange ring, or whatever you find). It'll be a game to him, he'll get the hang of it, and the toy won't go down the toilet if accidentally flushed! Jacob loves it

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J.R.

answers from Hattiesburg on

When I was training my oldest we made a game out of using the potty. He loved Fruit Loops, he called them lulus, we would take the box to the bathroom and he would take out a hand full and through them in the toilet and “hit the target” like a shooting game. We went though a LOT of Fruit Loops but it worked for him. My youngest son would get a penny every time he went pee pee, he mostly went outside but he went. Now that he is potty trained he goes mostly inside.

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J.S.

answers from Lawton on

I have found with my children and my grandchildren that you don't push it. I have known people to start trying to potty train their children at 18 months. Please known this is a no win situation. Children sphincter muscles are not fully developed until around age 3 or older. I have potty trained 4 children in my life and have found if you encourage them but DON'T make it a big issue, they will go in their own time. My last grandson was potty trained in 3 days. It was because he decided it was time, NOT ME! He was just a tad over 3 years old. It was not stressful for him or me, it just happened. Its not a big deal if they are 3 or 4. Don't let others tell you any different. Good Luck to all...and just let them decide when its time. I do want you to encourage them, but don't pressure or make it a big deal.. TTYL Regards

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L.F.

answers from Texarkana on

Hi, I responded to another mom on this same issue and I am going to tell you the same thing.

Dont stress out about it. I have four children. Children will not be forced into potty training and there is really no reason to do that anyway. Putting him on the toilet, encouraging him is fine but peeing on the toilet and being able to recognize the feeling of having to pee are two completely different things.

I know some parents will start early, putting their kids on the toilet every 15 minutes, or every hour or whatever but doing that only trains the parents not the children.

Just relax, do you know ANY adults who are not potty trained? Trust me, it WILL happen in its own time.

Hope this helps you.

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P.K.

answers from Little Rock on

Hi N.,

Happy Anniversary! Since your son is currently in a daycare, I would use the methods they are using to be consistent. If they aren't using any, the method I tried which worked in about 2 - 3 days was, I used a Kitchen timer and I set it to go off every 20 minutes, my son knew when he heard the timer that he had to race to the bathroom to use it. We made a "race" game of it and the every 20 minute deal trained his brain....Sounds crazy but it worked for us.

Good luck trying...

Blessings,
P. K.

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L.B.

answers from Tulsa on

I totally agree with those who say not to force the issue. I have potty trained 3 daughters and we tried all the bribes, sticker charts, M&Ms, cute big girl panties, etc but truthfully it only happnened when they decided they were ready. Once they decided they were ready there was no turning back and within a few days they had it. Granted there was an occasional accident but those were rare and we didn't make a big deal out if it. This may mean putting off your plans for the new school for a year. However, if this new school doesn't start until the Fall then you can rest assured that he will have it down by then. Good luck!

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T.S.

answers from Little Rock on

Just try taking him every time that you do. That is what I had to do with my third. My boy now when the second came along I think it finally clicked that he was a big boy and she was a baby. Just everytime that you go or your husband goes he should go sit on the pot. You do not even have to pull down the pants and put the lid up just that they see that you are going. It will eventually click and then you have it.

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K.B.

answers from Fayetteville on

Let him pee outside. Little boys love that and will very soon connect this process to inside.

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A.G.

answers from Tulsa on

I posted about this very same thing just a few days ago. You can't make them do it. They have to be ready. See if the school will cooperate in potty training him. Some people told me to read the book Potty training in a day. I don';t know because my 3 year old twins won't even sit on the potty yet unless thay choose to do it. you can read all the responses I got I am A. G

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V.W.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Well, Happy Anniversary!

I remember my son wasn't completely potty trained until he was about 4. He didn't talk until he could do complete sentences either - almost the same age. They'll do it in their own time no matter what we try - at least it seemed that way to me. What did help was my husband taking him when he used the bathroom - maybe it has something to do with having the same equipment.

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J.S.

answers from Pine Bluff on

Hi N.,
I had 3 boys to potty train. Oh, boy! They are grown now. What seemed to help for me with them was when I would change them I allowed them to watch me clean their underpants. I would look at their underpants and make an awful expression on my face and then I would hold my nose and let them know that it smells bad. I told them that is how they smell when they do that in their underpants. Well, they could not stand to have sticky smell stuff on them. So they started going to the potty. Sounds outrageous; but it worked. GOOD LUCK!!

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B.D.

answers from Tulsa on

I agree each child has their own time. I have twins that will be 3 in July and I have been trying to train them off and on since their last b-day. The one thing I have found to work for me is get a cheap kitchen timer. Program it for every 45 minutes. When the timer goes off we go to the potty. If they try they get 1 smartie candy (not an entire roll just one). If they actually pee they get 2 and if they poop they get 5. Now one of my boys does not like to sit on the potty at all. But he has started since he loves to get candy for atleast sitting on it with no diaper.

I have also took them to the dollar store and showed them the toys there. I told them that if they go w/o pottying in their diaper/pullup then they will be able to buy a toy of their choice. My boys are visual and they love the idea of paying for things themself. And the toy is only $1 their choice. Now what I did is make a chart and if they go entire week with no accidents, except at nap time and night time, they get a sticker on the chart. Once they fill up their chart 5 days in a row, they get to go buy a toy.

I also bought the Elmo potty movie, they really like it and I ask them if they want to pee-pee on the potty like Elmo does and they seem to put it together. Good luck I am sure you will find something that works for you.

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J.L.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi! what i did with this situation is everytime i had to go to the bathroom i would take my little one with me. i know it sounds gross but make a big deal out of it when You make a #2!! praise yourself that ur such a big girl (or boy get daddy in on it too) and soon he will start going on his own. it may take a while but it will work. i have potty trained both of my children that way.

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J.W.

answers from Lake Charles on

for my son i live out in the country .. i would let him go outside. then eventually.. had to teach where he can go and could't go outside.. but it seemed to do the trick for me... it mainly got him to realize when he had to go potty..he was potty trianed by 2 1/2 .. but then every child is different.my girl is 2 now and i had to find a different route to go with her ..but i finally found something to get her to go.i put her on the potty and we sing yeah sounds silly but she has been using the potty now for just a week but its improvement and it seems to be working for her even though i ask her if she has to go every 10 min .. she does tell me sometimes she has to potty . you just need to find out what catches his attention.. and makes him want to go potty.. and in time when he is ready he will just decide he wants to be a big boy... but if you force it to much on him i think he may withdraw and not want to..but when he does sit on the potty weather are not he uses it or not still reward him as if he did.. so he will want to go to the potty .. now by me saying reward him it doesn't have to be candy or toys.. kids that age just get excited over u telling them yeah!!! u did a good job or u are a big boy.. don;t really know if this helps.. but i still thought i would share.. hope everything works out for u

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A.S.

answers from Fayetteville on

I had the exact same problem with my son when he was 3 as well. I had him wearing pull-ups and that excited him b/c he thought he was BIG STUFF! Of course I kept telling him that they were like undies (underwear) & he was a big boy for wearing them. I made him a cute little chart out of bright colored posterboard. I made it like a calendar, but with no dates. I designed it real cute with pictures/stickers surrounding it. I hung it right in front of the toilet. He thought it was really cool. I told him that every time he went potty then I would give him 1 sticker to put in the box, when he boo-booed (#2) then I would give him 2 stickers to put in a box. Everytime he completed 1 week, he would get a little toy. When he completed the whole chart, he would get a big toy. He did pretty good, but then about halfway through the chart, he wasn't interested anymore. I finally just bought him a bunch of underware and made him start wearing them instead of the pull-ups. I was noticing that he would got to the bathroom in his pull-up just b/c he knew he could b/c it absorbed like a diaper. After I did this, he was potty trained in no time. He is now 4 and we have no issues in that area at all. He never really had many accidents after that. Just make sure for the first few times he has a pull-up on at Night only, make him go potty before bed, don't give him anything to drink about 1 1/2 before bed. Let him pick out his cool underwear (if he hasn't already) and tell him that he has to be a big boy like daddy and wear big boys underwear and pee pee in the potty like daddy. Have daddy show him how its done, even if daddy goes to the bathroom at the same time with him in the potty. It seems kind of wierd, but the same sex sibling is the bigest role model and he can show him how its done, thats one thing us mommy's can't really teach our boys, hahaha. If he has problems aiming in the toilet, you can throw a few cheerios in the toilet and let him practice aiming.

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A.S.

answers from Houma on

My youngest two children are 4 and 3. Neither one of them showed interest in going to the toilet when prompted or brought. I had to totally forgo the use of diapers and pull ups. This meant I was "trapped" at home for a few days. Once they wore big kid undies they didn't like the idea of soiling them. If they made #2 in the undie, I threw it away. I know it sounds like wasting money, but I was fortunate to have picked up some gently used undies at a garage sale. Once we started this routine, it took less than a week each and they were trained.

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D.H.

answers from Florence on

I have some questions to go along with my "respond". Do you still have him in dipers (pull-up)? If so, get rid of them & get him his favorite hero "BIG BOY" undees. When he goes in the potty do you reward him? I do not believe in candy as a reward so I used stickers. My children would get to put 1 sticker on the shelf above the toilet for telling me they had to go potty. 2 stickers were put up if they told me they had to go *2. I also had a great day care that would let them put stickers on a card and bring it home to show everyone what a great job they did while away from home. Some Dr. say there is a part of the brain that has to develope to successfully win this battle. If they were doing somethin and had an accident, then what ever they were playing with was taken away for the rest of the day. You have to committ to making this work not for a week sometimes a few weeks. Also cheeros put in the toilet make a great target.(he he)

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B.B.

answers from Houma on

I have a 6 year old son who has just recently become potty trained. I want to say roughly almost a year. It was extremely difficult and can be quite frustrating. What helped for us was to find the one thing that he really loved doing. At the time it was playing Mommy's gamecube games. so we took the game that he liked most and put it in a clear case so he could see what was in it. we started small and everytime he would go pee pee in the potty he would earn an hour of playtime with the game. After the hour was over it was explained that once again he would have to earn it. When he Got going to pee pee in the potty down we transitioned it we put a very special candy in a clear box and when he would go pee pee he would get a candy instead, and transitioned the game to when he would go poo poo. In six months he was potty trained. He has an occasional accident but it worked. Of course every child is different and this was recommended to me by a friend. At the time we were at our wits end and completely frustrated we were willing to try anything. One thing I did have to learn was that if they're NOT ready they are NOT going to do it. It has to be on their own terms. I hope this helps.

B. B

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A.B.

answers from Tulsa on

Hi N.,
I have a 3 year old grandson living with me. He started out great but has regressed when it is time to pee pee in the toilet. He has done great with pooping on the toilet. Two suggestions that were given to me. Put some cheerios in the toilet for him to aim at and make a game out of it. Secondly, I use the sticker program. He gets a sticker every time he potties on the toilet. When he has acquired 10 stickers he gets a surprise (usually a small inexpensive toy from Wal Mart). It can be anything. Also, you must be consistent when you are potty training. Good luck and I hope one of these help.

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M.M.

answers from Hattiesburg on

I worked at a daycare for 3 years with the 2&3 years old class and had plenty of opportunity to potty train both boys and girls. For the first few weeks/months the caregiver will need to be persistent with "reminding" the child to go potty. This may not be convenient, but it is persistence that is key! Eventually, he/she should be able to realize that he can play longer if he actually goes potty! He should then begin to associate "the feeling" with the trip to the potty! To help with my own children, I had a jar of small chocolate candy that I would give him/her 2 pieces of if he went tee-tee when I took him and 3 if #2. If he/she told me (before) he got 5 pieces. However, if an accident occured there was no reward! This proved to be "hard" but NOT IMPOSSIBLE to deal with. Hope this helps! Again, persistance is the best tool! Good luck!

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T.S.

answers from Fayetteville on

Ok N. I am on my 3rd child potty training, I have figured out that EVERYONE of them are different. With the littiest one I have been doing a timer and we have been racing to the potty and getting a m&m if he goes but we have been doing it for about 1 1/2 months. It takes time and presisents. He didnt like to use the potty chair. So we went to the toilet with a potty seat on it. My oldest loved to pee outside so he would run to the door everytime that he would have to go and I woyld let him go out sometimes but not everytime, He was a boy of course and what little boy does like peeing outside.( it was summer) So here are some ideas and good luck!!!!!!

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K.L.

answers from Oklahoma City on

How long have you been trying to potty train him? I just asked because i have 3 kids and my oldest was the hardest to do. I have also heard that boys are the hardest to potty train and my youngest is a boy and he is potty trained but he still wets the bed a lot. He has went a week now without doing it but he was the hardest to potty train.

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A.B.

answers from Texarkana on

I am in the same exact situation with my three year old son. I have a 5 year old son who potty trained at 3 for good. This one is frustrating b/c he will not consider going #2 and he will only go number one if led. I am working with him next week on this while he is home for spring break and I will tell you what happens. Sorry that I have no advice. The rewards system worked for my oldest, but is not working for my youngest---yet! Good luck and I will let you know.

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S.W.

answers from Montgomery on

Don't stess no child starts kindergarten in diapers.

The key is persistance and constency. Both you and your day care must be partners in potty training.

Boys overall take longer than girls do to potty train.

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J.K.

answers from Birmingham on

Read the book Toilet Training in Less Than a Day by Azrin & Foxx.

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