Back story: I have b/g twins. DS pretty much STTN, but DD still wakes a few times. She has little trouble going to sleep at bedtime, or going down for naps. She can go down with a bottle, without a bottle, completely awake, asleep...the putting to bed part is relatively easy. She can self-soothe back to sleep during naps, too.
Up until now, when she wakes during the night, I nurse her and she goes back to sleep very easily. Last night, I decided it was time to get her to try to self-soothe. Babies went to bed at 8. DD woke up just before 1am. I didn't get her right away, let her grumble it out for a while. She wasn't exactly crying, but she was grumbling a lot. It would get quiet as if she was going back to sleep and then she'd start moving around and making noise again. After 20 minutes, she started to really cry. I gave her a paci, which she took vigorously, and a stuffed animal that stays in her crib. She lied WIDE AWAKE sucking paci, or playing with it for 10 minutes and then rolled over and went to sleep. YAY...but wait...5 minutes later she woke up again. I tried to just leave her, but after another 10 minutes, she was really upset. I finally gave in, got her, nursed her, and we both went back to sleep until 4am, when her brother woke up hungry.
My plan is to make her wait a little longer each night until eventually, she's only nursing in the morning. Like tonight, I'll make her wait until 2:30. I'm not sure it'll work, and if she's laying there wide awake, I don't see how that's helping. Plus, what if she's really hungry and I'm forcing her back to sleep uncomfortably? She is a healthy weight baby, but is rather picky about the amount she'll eat. I can't increase her servings during the day; she'll only eat what she wants - 1oz, 3 oz, 6...whatever she's in the mood for.
I'm just not sure of what method or strategy to use to see if she'll sleep more at night. She doesn't wake up for the morning until 6:30 or 7. And even then, I can sleep a little more, until her brother wakes up too, and she'll play quietly in her crib until 7:30.
My gut tells me she'll grow out of it and that I should just keep getting her when she wakes. The books tell me I'm ruining her for life and she'll never learn to be a good sleeper without me.
Any practical advice? I'm willing to stay up, get up, whatever, at night. But man, I would love to sleep more than 3 hour stretches, too.
I think she's hungry. I always help my crying baby, day or night. Those books that say you're ruining her by responding to her cries--throw them out. :)
Always follow your gut! It's called "mommy instinct" and it was given to humans and animals for a purpose. At 6 months many babies still need night time feedings to maintain weight. Don't feel guilty. Just get up and feed and comfort her. I breastfed all 3 of my kids during the night till about 12 months and even when I weaned them completely, they still didn't sleep through the night until about age 2. Now 2 out of 3 are great sleepers (solid 10-11 hrs a night) at ages 3 yrs and 6 yrs, and youngest is 19 months and still getting up at night 1 or more times. Your daughter is a very NORMAL baby. Research shows that more than 1/3 or all preschoolers still wake 1 or more times at night. You will only hear mothers brag about "good sleepers" and the rest of us just don't say anything. It's a big peer pressure topic among Moms--a good sleeper at night seems to say to others that you are a fantastic parent when indeed you just are fortunate that genetics and infant development were on your side. Best advice I ever received was "Stop reading the books, and start "reading" your baby. You are a good Mom for caring for your little one day and night. All children are different, even siblings. Nurse Midwife Mom of 3
It may be that she has different needs than he does. I would nurse her and put her back to bed. At 6 mo, she could be in a growth spurt. Go with your gut. My DD sleeps fine now and I was up with her in the middle of the night when she was 6 mo. old. I found that I could nurse her and get us both back in bed very quickly and go back to sleep. It worked for us.
My take on books is that they are a good reference, but not gospel. Your kid is your kid. Sounds to me like it was hunger and not just an inability to self-soothe. Don't feel guilty for taking care of your child. This will pass. Truly.
If I may make a suggestion, you are probably battling what I call the perfect baby ideal. I know I have certainly chained myself to that whipping post and given myself a good flogging when I didn't think my little one was doing what he was "supposed" to be doing. It's hard to avoid since we have all these helpful friends and family members bragging about their all night sleepers and other baby trophies against which we can give ourselves suitably low parenting marks. Personaly I don't read any books and I try to ignore all the helpful advice since I don't have either enough money or time for the guilt trips those things take me on. Also I tend to think books drowned out my parenting instincts which short circuits everything. I have figured this much out; I didn't take home a baby. I took home a sunny natured, small meal grazing catnapper; he manages twenty minute naps if we're lucky with microfeedings to sustain himself each day. He's still up at night for at least one feeding and he's nearly 8 months old. We have determined he eats better at night so sometimes we don't get a lot of continous sleep. However, we have learned to read his signs and he's "getting better" which means he's up less, he's learned to self-soothe well and we are geting more continous sleep. I say listen to your gut and to heck with all the other sources. Remember the two constants from this site - trust your gut and all babies are wildy different.
As you can see by observing the differences between your twins, every child is quite individual in their needs and capacities. Some babies never, ever learn to "self-soothe," but all will eventually sleep through the night. For my daughter, that took well over a year. For my grandson, he simply could not sleep through until he was about 2.5 years. His poor desperate parents tried everything, including a couple of rounds of cry-it-out. Nothing. Worked. Except the time it took him to get there.
My daughter was not able to hold enough at a feeding to make it for more than 2.5 hours to the next feeding. This was back in the days when pediatricians insisted on a 4-hour feeding schedule. That simply wasn't workable. If I could occasionally coax her to nurse longer, she'd simply have too much pressure in her tummy and spit up the extra. (Thank goodness she seldom threw up the whole meal.) When I finally accepted the reality of it, we were both so much more relaxed.
Your daughter sounds like she's waking up hungry. You might be able to push back the early-night feeding by a few minutes each night, but it may not work. Plenty of babies wake hungry through their first year or longer. And I've been waking hungry because of complications with diabetes, so I know how miserable that can be. I don't eat (won't eat) at night, but I do lie there uncomfortable for sometimes 4 hours before my body accepts that no food is coming. It has been hell on my getting my sleep needs met. I could simply never do that to a baby.
I hope you find a solution that works. Your daughter will grow out of her current pattern. You just can't know when. In fact, many babies move through several dramatically different sleep patterns during their first 2-3 years. Just when parents think they know what schedule they can count on, the baby suddenly needs something different. They really can't help it – they, too, are adjusting to various demands of their growing bodies and brains.
Go with your gut... I know you are probably much more worn out then myself with having twins. but with all three of mine I would just nurse on demand and they all sleep just fine at night now all have since about a year of age. And we all know that the night happens much faster if we just tend to there needs then sit and wait
Haha I have to add in here after reading all the posts on spelling errors and what do I have in my last sentance "there" instead of their...lol I usually don't do that. UGH
Well at 6 months my guess is that she has hit a growth spurt and even though she has been able to go to sleep when she has popped awake before she may truly be hungry and needs to eat. I breastfed my DD until she was just shy of 13 months and she would wake often in the night to eat. It was hard getting up all those times with very broken up sleep but I knew that as soon as we switched her over to heartier foods in the day and to whole milk at night that she would soon start to actually sleep thru the night - ie bed at 8 and up at 7. She is now almost 20 months and has been an excellent sleeper (knock on wood now that I said that =) since she was about 14-15 months. I think that you should just continue to get up and feed her as she wakes at this point. She is still very very young. With that being said I could only imagine how difficult it must be on you with two babies, especially since they appear to be on different schedules. Im sure it will get better soon
Good Luck
At the risk of sounding like a stuck record, trust your instincts (also known as "gut")! There is no "right" way to raise a baby - every baby and every family is unique! Having said that, do you feed your babies solids yet or are they only on formula / breastmilk? My daughter only slept through the night after I started her on rice cereal at her last feed before bedtime. Congratulations - it sounds like you're doing a great job with your twins! I know that you probably feel as if you haven't slept in years ... but, trust me, this too shall pass and (believe it or not) when your children are older, you'll actually miss this special "quiet time" when only you and baby are awake! :) Best wishes to you all!
Heck, I need help with my 13 month old! I just every baby is different. Her brohter slept though the night at 3 months. Good luck! We still get up 1 time a night, give an 8 oz bottle and then back to sleep she goes. She goes to sleep about 745 and wakes up anywhere between 2 and 6 am.
I never had any kids that slept through the night until they were well over the 1 yr. mark. It is pretty normal for them to be hungry at least once during the night, they gain weight and grow so much that first year.
Whatever strategy you use... do not do it at a growth-spurt period or when teething.
WRONG timing.
Babies need to nurse.
Especially during growth-spurts.
6 months is a growth-spurt time.
Hunger increases and for a reason... they are developing... very rapidly and hitting milestones. This increases hunger and need for more intake.
And... babies also "Cluster Feed" which means that they even need to feed, ever.single.hour.
The best thing, is to go by baby's cues... and needs.
My kids as babies, had HUGE appetites and nursed every 2 hours for the 1st year. The longest they would go without nursing was 3 hours.
I nursed them.
24/7
Day and night.
And they grew like weeds and are very healthy and lean.
If you 'schedule' feedings.... a baby will NOT be getting what they need... nor biologically and per their growth-spurts. Because, appetite varies everyday... and all the time in a baby.
Babies who are given 'scheduled' feedings, do not thrive as well.
Babies wake. They need to feed. It cannot be methodically controlled.
For the 1st year of life, it is a building-block period of development and biologically. They need to feed and to get adequate intake. It affects their development.
Our Pediatrician, said to nurse, on-demand, 24/7 for the 1st year.
A baby, needs it.
They wake, when hungry.
Their tummies are tiny and it metabolizes fast.
Your baby is very young.
Feed and nurse, per the cues of your baby.
Your babies are very normal.
