Need Help with a Super Sensitive Child I Babysit

hi, A.!

how are you? hang in there! just wanted to let you know that he might have sensory integration issues...kids can be affected in many different areas and it sounds like he has an auditory sensory integration disorder. there are good therapists (occupational therapists) that can help retrain the ears not to be so sensitive and it can really help. but, the parents are going to need to see that there is a problem! sorry i cannot help more. just wanted to throw that out there!

-B.
(mommy to a 28 month old boy with sensory integration problems!)

Oh boy, have I been here! I am a home daycare provider and I have had two children in my care that did this-the key word being HAD! It was very difficult for myself and the other children in my care. I eventually decided that if the parents were not going to admit that there was a problem, then I would have to quit the child. I felt that by doing this that there was a better chance that the child's problem would be noticed. If you quit and the next sitter says the same thing and the next and the next, then eventually the parents will have to look into why their son is doing this. Chances are the nanny was not fired, I am almost positive she probably quit.

Both of the children I watched were the only children in their household. Both sets of parents were very soft spoken and kind. I felt that it was sensory overload for these children to be in a home with four or five other children. They just couldn't handle it. I definitely would start advertising your daycare and see if you can get more children. Once you do that, then I would suggest telling the family that your home is not suitable for this child and that he needs more one on one attention-the nanny is probably the best choice for now, but he does need to be with other children, but that is really for the parents to decide.

It is such a hard situation and I know that you are doing your best-remember that. If you didn't care so much about him, then you wouldn't be trying to help him. Just try to not get too frustrated and let anger get the best of you:) In one situation, the anger and frustration welled up so much that I said some things to the parent that I regret. Just don't let it get to that point.

One more thing, you know when it is affecting your family when your daughter says, "Make her stop crying mommy, please make her stop!" Best wishes to you.

have you talked to the parents? it sounds like he has a lot of symptoms of autism. they really need to get him checked out. check out autism and see if any of those symptoms apply.

Hi A.,
I first want to say, I agree with what Barbara said, it *could* very well be a sensory integration disorder. It also sounds like a few other things that are related to that, or have similar behavior-patterns.

However, since you are not the parent or a family member, and the parents are denying a problem, there's not a whole lot you can do about getting this kiddo any kind of help.

I think you're doing a great job handling this situation as best you can so it doesn't effect your family's daily life too much. A quiet room with some kind of "white noise" (low-vol TV, fan, soft music, etc) is the best you can do without a specific diagnosis and professional guidance :(

It likely *will* continue to get worse until/unless something is done, so it's up to you if you want to continue taking this child into your home.

I sure wish you luck!
T

Hey A.,

I agree with the daycare provider who suggested you fire this family. Even if there isn't anything "wrong" with him (and, frankly, it sounds like there might be,) you would be doing yourself, your kids and even your charge a favor, because these parents will not open their eyes until enough people have put their feet down. Honestly, who can blame them, right? It's hard to accept that there might be something wrong with your child, even if you know the clinical symptoms, have a brother in the autism business, etc...Also, it is traumatizing for a child to have been put in so many different childcare settings. I'd maybe give it another week, max, and then I'd give them their walking papers whilst handing them a heartfelt letter of concern, outlining your experiences with him. Really, that's all you can do. Without their cooperation, you have very little chance of "fixing" this boy.

Good luck, and follow your instincts.

Al

My daughter did that for two weeks straight when i was going to school and she was in child care. Cried the whole entire time every single day. (Thankfully, she was only there for 4 hours.) But then it stopped... Hopefully, this will just taper off. Just be patient and hang in there. If his parents aren't concerned, there is nothing you can do about it except to quit watching him. It sounds like you have your eyes open and will spot the problem should it come to light! good luck!