Need Help with Son Embarrassed by Bedwetting

I was a bedwetter and it was horribly embarassing. I hated going to slumber parties, because i was terrified I might wet the bed and other people would know. I think they make some pull ups that are like shorts, and he should be able to keep it from her if he wants. At his age, he can dress himself and whatever, so the babysitters shouldnt have to see what his underclothes are like. Maybe if he has room in the closet, put a little trash can or something in there for him to dispose of the used ones, maybe with some of those odor resistant trash bags.

He is old enough to handle changing his own pull-ups and even to wash his own sheets if needed. Put some extra bed sheets in his closet and make sure he knows how to use the washer and dryer. I don't see why anyone needs to know about it. If I were him, I would be mortified if anyone found out, even if it was developmentally normal or there was some medical issue. I would respect his wishes and try to save him from any further embarrassment.

My kids wore pull-ups until they were at least 8 (my daughter is still in them at age 8 1/2). I recently found out that gifted children are more prone to nighttime wetness because of their intensity during the day. They just can't wake up to pee. Anyway........have your son get into pajamas in his room before he goes to bed. There is no reason the babysitter needs to even know that he wears them! He can put them in a plastic bag like the ones you get from the grocery store, tie it and throw it in the garbage. If he's embarrassed, he will make sure he has a pull-up on before he goes downstairs to watch a movie on the couch, etc.
Let your son know that there are many, many kids who still wear pull-ups at that age. Many times kids bodies just need to catch up with their bladders ( or vice versa :) What always bothers me is when parents make their kids clean up the wet sheets, etc. THEY CAN'T HELP IT. It's not like they are doing it because they are irresponsible or are lazy. They are heavy sleepers and their brains aren't getting the wake-up message. I know some parents think the child taking care of their "mess" will help them to realize what is happening, but I would be humiliated if my mom did that to me. He will grow out of it, it will just take a little longer. Good luck and happy vacation!

You almost have to tell her. I kept my nephew over night and my sister never mentioned the situation to me. He fell asleep on my couch and I left him there and he pottied on my couch. I was surprised and he was embarrassed. I never said anything to either one of them, but it would have been nice to have a warning.

It is not just a boy issue. I was a bed wetter, two of my aunts, and my daughters are bed wetters.

There are lots of ways to treat this issue, including waiting for his body to naturally (no drugs needed) get over it. Do a little online research and see what redemedy is right for you and your son.

Meanwhile, he is 9 and can take care of himself at night, as far as getting prepared for bed. I agree with Krisin T, in that, he can change his sheets if somethin should happen.

He is nine years old, there is no need to tell a babysitter. He can do all what is necessary. Have throw away bags for him ready and he can take care of the rest.

What does your doctor say? Sometimes bedwetting can be resolved by about a month of medication. Or maybe the urethra needs to be dilated. Keep on loving him and keep on looking for solutions. Meanwhile, you can help him to get over his embarrassment by letting him know that many other kids are in the same situation. We all have quirks and foibles. This is just one of his. It's not a very big part of who he is, and he can focus his attention on the qualities of himself that he likes best.

My son also had this problem. I found that if I woke him up when I went to bed after he has been sleeping a couple hours, he would go use the bathroom and soon wasn't needing me to wake him up at all. He was a very deep sleeper and so the little wake up stopped all problems.

The first thing I would suggest is to take your son to a chiropractor. It's typically a simple adjustment that can make a huge difference for children. I know a great chiropractor in the Hastings area and have a connection to others in the area. If you're looking for a referral, let me know.

Good luck!

Man... I have responded to this question a lot! My youngest son was a bed wetter. We tried everything. One day when I was talking to my older sister I mentioned my son and his bed wetting. She informed me it is a hormonal problem. Sometimes (usually boys) this part of the brain develops slower. She then told me about a nasal spray he could get from the doctor. He used it right before bed one spray each nostril. It was AWESOME! Such a relief to him and us! He wasn't embarrassed anymore and could go to friends houses without worrying he'd wet the bed or get teased for pull ups. He used it for almost a year and then the gland started working on it's own. Go see your doctor...you will both be glad you did!! Good Luck!

Would he be able to wake to an alarm clock? Sometimes having someone or some thing (alarm clock) wake him up several hours after he has been sleeping should be helpful. Since he is 9 he should be able to handle everything himself without the baby sitter having to know about it. You didn't say how old the baby sitter is, a teenager or a grown up. A teenager may talk about it to her friends etc and not keep it confidential while an older person would keep it quiet and to herself. Good Luck.

Hi S.:
My daughter had aproblem with bed wetting until I happened to see a talk show about the problem. The Doctor on the program was a specialist on children's allergies. She said that even though the child's allergy could be so slight that it didn't show up on a typical scratch test it could show up as bed wetting. The cheif allergens were dairy products and artificial flavors and colors. Take these items out of his diet for a couple of weeks then add one or the other back if the bed wetting starts again keep the item out of his diet.
I saw the program about 20 years ago, I know the doctor wrote a book on the subject but I don't remember her name or the name of the book. Hopefully you can do a bit of dectective work and see if your library has a copy of the book.
Good luck, I know how embaressing this can be for a child.

I like Kristin's suggestion. I'm guessing your son already hears from you that his problem isn't unusual. You might mention that the babysitter probably already has experience with kids who wet the bed, and won't think it's a big deal at all.

The book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk would advise that you let your son participate in finding a solution that works for him. Considering that leaving him at home is a given, what are his ideas about how he'd like to handle the situation? He may come up with some ideas of his own that he could be comfortable with.

Maybe you could take her aside and apprise her of the situation. Let her know that he will handle it, and let her know that he's embarassed, so if she notices anything, she should pretend she didn't see it. Or maybe suggest that she wake him up in the morning and then leave the area of his bedroom/bathroom so he can clean himself up in privacy if need be.

He doesn't have anything to be embarassed of though. Let him know that it's not his fault and he doesn't have any control over it. My son was almost in tears embarassed by his bedwetting (resolved by age 8) until I let him know that I wasn't blaming him and we were going to work together to find a solution.

That being said, a lot of kids (boys mostly) that are still wetting at night at your son's age are doing so because of an underlying deep-sleep disorder. I would ask your doctor for a referral to a sleep study for your son. If he does have a deep-sleep disorder it could also be causing sleep apnea which is a little more dangerous than wetting. It's certainly something to look into anyways if you haven't already. And in the meantime, ask your local hospital if you can buy a couple of the fabric chux pads from them (the pads that are waterproof on one side and cotton on the other that they use to help with moving immobile patients) or try making your own if you sew. We have several of these and they were lifesavers until my son stopped wetting. He'd sleep with one under him every night (cotton side up so it's comfy) so we were only washing those small pads every day instead of all of his bedding.

Best of luck!

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Edit: Sorry to edit so quickly but I just saw the post before mine and I wanted to add that while the Desmpressin nasal spray does work for a lot of kids, it doesn't work for them all. We tried it with my son and that wasn't his problem. The spray is an anti-diuretic which means it forces the body to retain fluids instead of dumping them through the kidneys and into the bladder. This is not every child's problem. My son for example, was still running for the bathroom at the last minute during the day and was a very deep sleeper. His body just had not developed enough in that one particular arena yet to notify him that he needed to go until the last minute. Of course you combine that with the fact that he sleeps like the dead and he just wasn't waking up fast enough to get to the bathroom. He doesn't sleep so deeply any more and his body is more developed now so the problem is resolved.

Just wanted to let you know that there are several different causes of wetting. Find what works for your son.