Need Ideas for Bored Teenage Boy

Find a volunteer job you two can do together. There are soooo many good causes in teh area that need help. This middle school age really needs help seeing outside of themselves.

I just read your update and the ideas other moms have suggested.

So, here's an additional suggestion from me: my husband and I produce fun, hands-on science activities that kids tend to LOVE, and I'm wondering if your son might like to look at our website <www.topscience.org&gt; and see whether he'd like to try any of our free activities. I'd recommend looking first at ELECTRICITY 32 and MAGNETISM 33 for a boy his age. Our activities are popular with homeschoolers because most of them use simple stuff that you might already have in your kitchen, garage, or desk.

I hope you find activities that the two of you can do together. Bear in mind that your son is entering the age where parents are so totally uncool, and he is likely to seem surly toward you (sounds like that has already begun). But don't stop showing cheerful and patient interest in his life - he might act like he resents it, but somewhere in his soul he will be grateful.

My best to you both.

Original response: When my daughter was just a little younger than your son, we got rid of our TV. She found it annoying for the remainder of that school year that her friends got to watch so many neat programs that she was missing. But following a summer in which we did lots of little projects, doing art, fixing things, reading, going to local events/museums/walks, card and board games, solving puzzles, and working Mad Libs (her favorite at that time), she complained when school started again that her friends were so boring – they didn't do anything but watch TV.

Skip ahead almost 30 years, and I still don't watch TV, and my daughter watches very little. How would we fit it into our very full lives? (And I have injury/movement problems, too, but not having television probably keeps me moving more than if I could just settle down in front of the tube.)

What if you just put your TV in the closet and experience the void for a bit? I'm guessing that new interests would begin appearing in short order. You will probably do well to let your son know that you want the best for both of you, though, and are excited about finding new activities to do together. Ask him to come up with some ideas. He could surprise you.

Hi J.!

I admire your honesty and I'm glad to hear your health problems are turning around!

How about this idea:

Tell your son he has to engage in one non-TV/non-video/non-computer activity a day that lasts for at least 2 hours (at least during the summer - school days would be different).

If he doesn't do an activity, then there's no TV, no videos, no computers for that day.

Come up with a list of ideas. Ask him for ideas. Try to think of things that he would like to do or, if you're not sure what he'd like and he just says, "I dunno," think of things most boys would like, such as:

going to watch a sports game

hiking

doing some sort of physical volunteer work, such as cleaning up a park (you could do something non-physical, such as hand out water to the volunteers or serve lunch)

volunteering at an animal shelter (if he likes animals)

I would google for ideas on activities for teenage boys - most teenage boys need activities that are physical in nature and achieve a goal.

My brother had great success with dragging his 14 year old son to a retirement community to help out. My nephew did NOT want to go and complained about it, but over time, he really came to like the appreciation he received from the people there. He never said, "thanks" to his dad, but he began to go - on his own - after about 3 months.

The people there LOVED him and I think it gave him an opportunity to practice being an adult and making connections to adults all on his own.

I don't know your son and I can appreciate your physical limitations - pain is NO fun. So, take what I said with a grain of salt. And good for you for asking! That's half the battle.

Best of luck to both of you! M.

J.,

Go for a walk on the beach. Sit and watch a sunset together. Go to a matinee or a discount theater and watch a movie together. Break the TV. Have a picknick in the park. Go to a Theater in the Park play. Get him involved in a sport of some kind and be his cheerleader. Go for a bike ride. Go to a museum. Go to the zoo. Go to the aquarium. Make music together. Ask him what he would like to do. Do some of the tourist trap things in your town. Take a weekend road trip.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

Hi,

Try doing something together to serve others. Perhaps volunteer with your church to feed the homeless, start a back to school collection for needy students; something that you can do with your son to help others. If you work together to do something positive for others, it might help your son not only ditch some of the TV but also recognize how lucky he is to have you and the other things in his life.

Try to be as active as you can, even if that just means following him to the skate park to watch him and his friends skate (just an example). Try to take as much of an interest in the things he does and be apart of them as you can. Let him know that you are there for him by showing him--literally.

Ask him to invite his friends to your house for games, cards, back yard hang out/bbq. That way, you're actively involved in the things he's interested in and you get to know who his friends are.

Once school starts, encourage him to take part in whatever he can after school. This doesn't have to be sports (doesn't sound like he's into that), could be an after school club. The more involved he is at 13, the less likely you'll have trouble with him at 16.

Good luck!!

A little about me:
I'm a former high school teacher and tutor staying at home with my 17 month old son. I'm married and working very part time at Starbucks.

Luckily school will be starting soon and he will have a place and purpose most of the day.
Try turning off the t.v. together and make a nice meal together. Give him a challenging project to figure out like assembling something like a shelf or small table for his room. How about him working on a plan to rearrange his room before the school year begins, offering him paint or something to add interest to it? Talk with him about what interests and excites him and really listen to him. I'm sure you are better not having the t.v. on all the time too.
Not all boys are interested in competitive sports. Does he like music? How about building things, fixing things, non competitive sports like swimming, tennis, ball playing for fun.
Your son is just at the start of a time when he needs to separate from you.So don't expect him to want to hang out with you too much and enjoy what time you have had.

Does he like to read? You two could read together (either out of the same book, taking turns reading aloud, or reading different books side by side).
Take a cooking class WITH him and learn to make some new foods together.
It's okay to use the TV as a starter point for getting inspiration, too. There are lots of cooking shows, travel shows, gardening, etc.
If you have to watch something with him, let it be educational about getting out and doing something to inspire you both.
I know you probably want to spend time with him, but it is okay to send him out on his own to a sports camp program or other organized activity, since you can't currently excercise with him. Boys this age need physical activity.

J. B,

Have you looked into the local Parks and Recreation programs. Maybe getting him involved with a sport or such...swim lessons or such...will give him another outlet that you can share. Even just open swim or lane swimming where you can eventually race...???

My family spent lots of time playing Scrabble. Winner often of so many games got to choose dinner for the coming Friday night (pizza, tacos...etc.). We also played Gin.

My parents raised us to compete in friendly ways. We even raced to see who could do the best and fastest time at given chores!!

I am using the same for my boys...they are 2yrs old, and the cleaning and chores are currently a game. We do spend time at the parks and recs. center in the pool when Daddy has time off to go swimming with us (we have to have 2 parents with twins...safety).

Good luck,
T.

Hi J.
I have a question for you to answer for you.
If you were your client in life skills training what would you tell the client?

Take walks with him it would be good for the both of you

First I am worried as to why you keep getting in accidents.

If you had you sitting in front of you for a life skills session what you you say?

He is also 13 and that is a difficult age for both parent and child. With all of the accidents and they are excessive he may worry about losing you.The drama of all of the accidents and injuries may be getting to him.

I am glad that you found him a male role model. You might sign him up for the big brother program. At 13 they need a strong role model and friends. It is hard to know what is going on with limited information. It sounds like he is taking care of you and just waiting for the next accident.

What is his passion? Sports was not my sons either but he loved chess and art so we found free or cheap classes through church and YMCA that he could take part in. There was a science class he loved at school and joined into the after school program. There are many free programs out there that he could do. He needs to have other people and I had to admit that hanging with Mom was not where he wanted to be.When my son came home from his activities we spent time together over dinner talking about what he had done and what he had learned that day. We laughed a lot and I treasure those talks as I knew that as he got older the talks would become shorter.When they had things that parents could go to I was there. Your son is getting older and it is hard but they want to be with us less in their teens. It does not mean that they do not love us they are just growing older and becoming the young adults we have raised them to be. If you find his passion then maybe there will be something you can join in on with him. Show interest and let him invite you in.

Good luck and Stop the accidents
God Bless

J.,
Just a few ideas I had-
You say he doesn't like card and board games, what about puzzles? I have friends that do puzzle wars. They each get a puzzle with the same amount of pieces, and put it together to see if they can beat the other person. Or just doing a puzzle together.
Or what about doing crosswords together?
I really like speed scrabble also. That is putting together a scrabble crossword together in front of you without the scrabble board. All tiles are upside down, and each take the same number to start. When you get all the tiles used with real words, then you say go and draw another tile. And keep going until all the tiles are used.
Or what about reading? If he likes reading, you could read the same books and then discuss them?
Finding a hobby that is something you could do together. Or something that he could do in the same room as you, so that you have the option to talk instead of just being in the same room with the tv on.
It is also healthy to just have some time to yourself and him to have time to himself doing what you enjoy, so that you are recharged when you spend time together. Maybe finding something that he enjoys- giving him a new hobby. IT sounds like he tried team sports, what about more individual ones? Like climbing. Or taking music lessons. Or volunteering somewhere to help others. Or finding a way to earn some income- like mowing lawns, or doing other yard work for people. Or offering to wash cars.

I wish you luck in finding what will work for you and your son.
Hugs, J.

Stop the accidents? Haha..don't you wish?! I had three in six months, two years ago. In addition to disc problems and headaches, I had some ptsd/depression, and a child to take care of! It was really hard to do anything-walk, clean, pick up or play with my child. So I understand that part. Are you doing all you can to treat the injuries? It took over a year but I did everything-chiropractic, massage, acupuncture, counseling, lidocaine injections, and craniosacral work with my pt. It's important that you take care of you so you can take better care of your family and life! Hang in there, I think it's hard for every mom to relate to their teenagers, boy or girl :)

I too am disabled and watch much tv--too much. I live by myself and the tv and computer are my connections. But I spend too much tv time. I don't know if you have Comcast cable--but I do and they have a lot of history and science programs available. I watch alot of them. You could watch those and use those as discussion points.

As he begins middle school he will be required to do papers and such. You can help him find information on the web. This is not as easy as you might think. Some of the information is not correct. Stay away from Wikipedia.

How about getting him Wii that computer stuff that you exercise on the tv?

Good luck.

My first thought was, does your church have a youth group that he can be a part of? I was a youth leader for high school for years, and it can be such a great thing, a good healthy environment, and a great place to meet some good kids. Also, if there isn't much physical activity you can do with your son, then I would say don't worry too much that you are playing video games and watching t.v. with him...just keep being with him, and doing things with him, that is the most important thing.

My first thought is that maybe you just haven't found the right board/card games to spike his interest. What kinds of video games does he like? There are a lot of interactive card/board games with similar themes/characters/mechanics as video games. For example a lot of teenagers enjoy collectible card games like Magic. There can be a high cost associated with these types of games, but you can also often get really good deals on older and/or used cards from eBay or from a local gaming store. Also I've had a lot of luck finding interesting games at reasonable prices in local thrift stores, maybe he could help you pick out something that looks interesting and you can try it together. Board games such as Heroscape are really popular with that age group, and can be fun for you as well. Also, have you tried any crafts or projects that you can work on together? Maybe painting minatures or models, or learning to draw favorite characters? I've seen some great books at the library on how to draw, and other fun ideas like recycled art.

For some more information and reviews on some board and card games you may not have heard of I would recommend http://www.boardgamegeek.com