So I have 2 great little girls 1 being my niece that I am currently help take care of. They usually are good at doing what I ask in a reasonable amount of time. I’ve given the kiddos 2 many days to pick up all of their toys with warning and they didn’t do it. So now Im sticking to my word and taking them away. I decided to bag all the toys up and claim them to be out of order. I’m trying to figure out how they can earn them back. I’ve considered bringing those ridcuouls elves back, but feel that might be more punishable to me than them. Any ideas are welcome.
Thank you!!
Mom in need of ideas!
Sorry they are 6 and 9
They did have a ton of toys out. Each have a garbage bag full of their toys. I had to have them go through them and sort out what belonged to who. This in turn made them realize what they were missing.
So I decided to go with a point system that would let them earn their toys back. When they got home I told them what was going on and how they would earn their stuff back and at the end when all their toys have been returned they would get back their tablets. Surprisingly they were 100% on bored and excited to come up with chores they could do around the house and with the pets.
Everything is 1point including doing nice things for each other and an automatic 2 points if they didn’t have complete melt downs caused from arguing with each other. Once they reach 5 points they get a toy back. They loved this idea so much that they were going back and forth on who got what job so I made it easy and said anyone can do any chore and each child got a pet to take care of seeing that there was an even number of pets and 2 of them.
This has so far has worked great and they both have earned almost 5 point! This has also encouraged them to be nicer to each other. Which has been awesome cause I’m not playing referee 90% of the time. Think I might find a way to keep this going even after they have gotten everything back.
At 6 and 9 ( unless they are overwhelmed with an abundance of toys) they are old enough to understand cause and effect.
As for earning them back... be very consistent. You could give them back one at a time based on how they keep the room in order, chores they do for you, etc.
Whatever you do, be consistent.
A lot of people will do a toy time out.
If the toys aren't picked up and put away - then mom take the toys for a few days or a week depending on the age of the kid involved.
This doesn't work if the kid is swamped with toys to begin with - they have so many that they don't notice or care if some are gone for awhile.
If they have smaller amounts of toys to play with - they aren't so overwhelmed that it's too much to pick up.
Be warned though - some kids never out grow this - it's sometimes a personality trait that stays with them a long time.
They sometimes go off to college and then learn about picking up their stuff when they have a room mate to deal with.
Can't say I ever took their toys away. Just not sure how that would work. How old are the kiddos?
Here, what worked was - if it was snack time, "Let's clean up so we can have snack". Kids were hungry, toys got picked up without too much of a struggle. Or "Time to go outside" and kids wanted to head out - wasn't too much of a struggle.
I only ever had a few toys out a time. It wasn't a big deal to tidy a few up before moving on to the next thing.
Or we'd have a train day - where they'd have them out all day (might even spill over to the next day) and that was ok, so long as it was relatively tidy. We have set areas where certain things can stay out. Once it got kind of chaotic, then it was time for it to be put away. Incentive was - "Who wants to make set up a fort?"
Could you make a game of it? I worked in a nursery school as a teenager and we always made games of tidy up time. Again, depends on the ages of the kids.
Thinking if you've taken them away - then just like a reward chart - for every time they tidy, they earn a reward? Then they might come to expect rewards though for just doing what should be expected anyhow. Hard one ..
ETA: Saw your SWH. Glad you figured it out :) 6 and 9 .. ok I was thinking much younger
Organization helps too - I agree with Diane. We have big tubs (one for Barbies, one for Beanie Boos, etc.) and they can just pile the stuff in there when their friends leave. Having a 'home' for toys helps.
when i had to take away almost all my kids toys due to them not picking up they did other stuff to earn them back, like making the bed, emptying the dishwasher, sweeping the floor, putting dirty laundry in washer or wet into dryer or taking it out of dryer so i can finish up that load. simple stuff to do, but every time they did as asked they got to pick what they got back. ( i considered the train set as one toy, the barbies as one toy)
most trips into town take 10-20 inutes drive, and if they could get along and not be yelling they could earn a toy back from that.
Have you made it easy for them to clean up? Do they know what you mean by "clean up"? YOU know what you want, but kids don't always. They should have some sort of sectioned toy receptacle: colored bins on a rack, baskets in a corner of the family room, a stuffed animal hammock in a corner of the bedroom, a see-through shoe bag on the inside of a closet, etc. Label the bins/baskets/pockets so it's clear what goes where.
Google job jars and check out Pinterest. There are some great ideas like a big washtub where you can pitch all wayward toys as well as single shoes, lunch boxes, and other stuff that gets left lying around. Put their favorite shirt or hair scrunchie in there, and see how fast they do jobs! You can put a pocket or envelope on the side with either those large craft-size tongue depressors or heavy cardboard or laminated strips with jobs written on them. There are sometimes some cute rhymes to put on the outside. The child who wants something in the barrel/tub/carton has to pick a job out of the selection and do that chore. What that does is put in jobs YOU want done and moves them past the idea of choosing only the chores they like. More difficult chores earn more points (toilets are worth more than taking out the recycling) and more items back. Think about stuff that you do all day long and don't just pick stuff that relates to them. Laundry, vacuuming, unloading the dishwasher, setting the table, changing sheets are all important tasks. And yes, a 9 year old can do laundry and a 6 year old can help fold/sort/put away. That also helps them pick up clothes rather than leave them on the floor so they have to go in the laundry!
Yes, they're excited now, but that's going to wear off in a week, maybe less. You need a system that works all the time.
you don't say how old the children are. If they are toddlers? Out of sight, out of mind.
For older children (say 5 and 6). They will remember.
I didn't have a ton of toys out for our boys. They had to put away when they were done playing with them. If they didn't and I picked them up? I got to keep them. They had to earn them back by putting their other toys away, in a timely manner.
Once you cave, your kids know they can mess with you. Say what you mean and carry through. Every time you change your mind and give them a little more? You lose credibility.
obviously they earn them back by complying with the house rules (within age appropriate reason) and doing better at picking up after themselves.
what are the 'ridcuouls' elves?
? khairete
S.
They're pretty old to have toys taken away, put in time out. I would downsize their toy collection where it was manageable. Then switch out some each week or every other week. So they'd have "new" toys to play with.
Updated
They're pretty old to have toys taken away, put in time out. I would downsize their toy collection where it was manageable. Then switch out some each week or every other week. So they'd have "new" toys to play with.
