I was wondering if I could talk to other moms about the signs of seperation anxiety ect... My husband just got back from Iraq and after 11 months of being a stay at home mom I retured to work. My 4 year old seems to be having a really tough time with this. ANd it usually starts around the time I have to go to work and it happends every day and I'm just curious if she suffers from seperation anxiety and what some of the signs and symptoms may be.
Well first I would like to thank everyone for all the advice I recieved. Audrey my 4 yr old is doing much better now. It's taken almost a month but she has less fits about taking a nap b/c I have tried spending more time with her etc....Instead of throwing a fit once a day, she now maybe throws a fit once in a blue moon. I'd say once every couple of weeks or so. It's not perfect but it's a start and that is all I can ask for. We just take it one day at a time and I couldn't have done it without you ladies. Thanks again
Wow! Let me congratulate you on your deployment survival! My husband was gone for 14 of the first 15 months of Mason's life. I never really thought that Mason's wanting me to stay home with him all the time could be separation anxiety. I finally found a way to stay home because our mornings were just terrible fits. Let me know if you find something that works.
It's just a lot of change for her and she will adjust..eventually. ;o) I agree, simple tell her that you are going to work and kiss her good-bye and tell her you will see her after work. And maybe do something special with her when you get home...play a game or have her help you change your clothes and she can tell you about her day.
My 6 year old went through this when my daughter came home. Signs with him were that he was clingy, worried about if I was going to leave, when I would be back, begging to come along, worried in general, and somewhat anxious.
I know children with military leaves have fears about parents leaving...she may think it is your turn now...you have not left before but now you are.
Being patient, creating some special routines like a special goodbye handshake or song might help and coming and going at the same times will eaase her mind. You might also try leaving a picture or special thing with her.
Do you have any flexibility with working fewer hours and working up to more? Do you have to work right now? Just questions....it is hard for her to have him home and you to leave right now too I am sure. Sometimes these things have to happen. I know my son has more issues now from when I was working full-time. He always is more insecure about my leaving ever since then....
Hope some of this might be helpful....
L.
L.
What your daughter is going through sounds like it might be a normal reaction for her situation. She was used to being with you and dad left, now he's home which might be weird and you are gone. This is very tough on a young child. She is trying to understand what is going on. When you leave for work go to her and say:"I am going to work and mommy will be back at 5 to come get you, love you bye" and turn and walk out. DO not turn back and hug or anything just walk out. Also, who stays with her now? It might help if it is someone she is familiar with such as grandma. Is your daughter clinging to you more than she was, having nightmares, crying excessively when you leave? Those are some signs. Just remember to always be consistent and to make goodbye's brief....always tell her where you are going and when you will be back and be sure to NOT sneak out the backdoor when she is not paying attention. I hope this works, let us know how things go!
