Need Input Regarding Nanny Eating Habits

Being a former nanny, it was understood with the family that I worked for that I brought my own food, which was fine with me. But, since you told her to help herself then she is. I don't think she needs to tell you that she finished off the grapes. If it's really bothering you then talk to her. Be careful though, depending on her personality she may take it very personally. Label things. It sounds like she just started so you can still clarify but like I suggested before be careful on how you approach her about it. GOod luck!

I used to be a nanny. Most families would ask what kind of foods I preferred and they would keep them stocked in the house. This may be abnormal, but that's how it worked for me. I didn't take advantage of it however and I usually just requested fruit, baked lays, wheat bread, PB & J - items that most families have anyway....well, maybe not baked lays, but you know what I mean.

My suggestion is to either ask her specifically what items you can provide for her and suggest that anything extra that she desires she should bring from home. But you should realize that she probably is there for 10hrs a day, 5 days a week....she has to eat.

Honestly it would have never occurred to me that the nanny wouldn't eat my food. She's in my home, caring for my children, how else is she going to eat? I wouldn't want her to bring in her own food. Let's say my child developed a food allergy. I would never know if it was from exposure from the food in my house, or the food that she brought in. I think supply groceries for my nanny is the least I can do to make sure she's happy. It's not a regular job where she can take a break and got out to a restaurant for lunch.

Hi L.,

It depends on your relationship with your nanny - some people keep a professional distance and that's fine as long as you outlined the expectations. Our nanny is truly a part of our family. I wouldn't think twice about our nanny eating anything in our home...she's here all day. She wouldn't think twice about walking our dog when she takes the kids to the park or doing extras I'm sure most nannies wouldn't such as gardening with my kids. She never sits down. If the kids are sleeping she cleans more than just "light cleaning" - we pay her well and she earns every penny. I guess my point is every nanny situation is different just like every personal relationship is different. You probably wouldn't think twice if your best friend helped herself to something in your fridge, but would if a more casual friend did...if you're not comfortable with anything she's doiing, you owe it to her to talk to her about it - she won't know she's bothering you if you don't tell her. It's early in the relationship - bring it up now if you need to so she doesn't feel bad several months down the road. Good luck!

Hey L.,

Having a new nanny is a huge adjustment, as is going back to work and leaving your precious baby with someone else. We are on our fourth nanny for our 3 3/4 year old and we FINALLY found one that is everything we hoped she'd be: fantastic and a true member of the family.

That being said: your nanny is living in your home during the day, taking care of the MOST precious person to you. I remember feeling the way you did when I didn't feel good about our nanny, but once we found someone that we LOVED, I asked her what we could buy for her that she particularly liked to eat, because she's living in your home when you're not there, and you want her to feel a part of your family. You do not want her to feel resentful. Remember, too, she can take your baby and go grocery shopping when you're at work to pick up extra food, which wouldn't put you out too much.

We welcome our nanny AND her son (who comes over in the afternoons after kindergarten) to eat whatever they want to with my daughter.

If there's something in particular you don't want her to eat because it's something you're going to make for dinner or is a special treat for your husband, just tell her. Ask her what she'd like to eat and ask to her to put anything special on the grocery list whenever she wants something. Our current nanny loves Pepsi, and a different kind of mayo and a different kind of bread than we ordinarily eat, but I get it all for her, because we love her and want her to feel we care about her and are invested in keeping her happy and with us as long as humanly possible.

Part of it is a huge transition, but pay attention to how much of it is about how you feel about the nanny. If it were a different kind of person would you feel less resentful?? Maybe she's not the right nanny for you?

Ask yourself this: Do you have a nanny or a babysitter? I think the term nanny is being used too loosely anymore. A babysitter probably would not eat your food but a NANNY would. You have hired her as your main caregiver to esentially live in your house and care for the lives of your children while you are away. Why wouldn't you offer her food. I feel people in this area have no idea what a real nanny is . . . they understand what a babysitter is but NOT what a nanny is. Just my 2 cents.

I only use a nanny when I am out of town. I expect her to eat meals with my kids and cook for them and her kids. I always ask what she needs me to pick up for her, as in what kind of soda, yogurt, salad fixings or whatever. I value her beyond measure. If you are happy with your nanny...
buy enough at the store so that she can eat and you don't have to go back to the store.

The person taking care of your kids is a blessing and obviously you trust her and think she is doing a good job. This is just a little thing, don't worry!

I've not had a nanny, but was one. I did help myself to their food, but I do admit it was a cheese stick here and there. A lot of the time I brought my own lunch but when I didn't I did help myself to whatever was in the fridge. She liked to cook and so she liked to share the left overs. Just out of curtisy(sp?) I wouldn't eat the foods that the kids where to eat. Like I wouldn't of eaten the whole bag of grapes. Of course when the kids ate it I'd have a hand full, but yikes she is eating a lot. Especially because your baby is only 3 months old and doesn't eat food yet. I think if it is bothering you it would be a good idea to have a discussion with her to set up some boundaries. If you say help yourself, most people will and then some. If you let this continue and you don't say something you will eventually feel resentful toward her. If she is a good nanny you want to keep her.

I've never had a full time nanny, but I do not think you are overreacting. I had a very similar problem with my part-time nanny and it made me absolutely crazy. My nanny would eat dinner leftovers that I had specifically earmarked for another dinner. Since when do people invite themselves to barrel-though someone else's fridge and pantry?? It's been a very long time since I was a teenager who was babysitting, but I never would have had the nerve to help myself to anything, without explicit permission! I guess times have definitely changed!

I always supplied lunch when my nanny was working during a lunchtime, so she had a standing offer to make herself a sandwich at any time. I specifically told her that "I will always have enough lunchmeat (and sides, etc.) for you and my daughter...so please help yourself." On the days that she was working a few hours, but not during a mealtime, I would direct her to the food I was willing to offer, knowing that she might eat it all (i.e., "I found some really nice grapes at the store. Give those to the kids as a snack and help yourself to them." or "I left a bag of pretzels out, in case you need a snack too!") Being very specific with her cut down on the times that she ate an ingredient I needed or food planned for a meal.

On the rare occasions that I had something very appealing that was an ingredient for a recipe or for a specific meal, I would have to tell her outright, "The X is for another meal, so please don't eat it."

That being said, I always ask my babysitters if they have a specific snack they like or a specific drink. You do want your child care provider to be happy in your household!

From what I understand, the nanny is at your house daily and is a huge part of the family structure and routine. Nannies do eat with the children or when they are there, and I'm sure she assumes this as well since it is part of being a nanny. Since there is a misunderstanding, you will have to take time to talk with her and explain out your expectations and what you want. If she is not to eat there, she needs to know this, since she was told to help herself she assumes you mean just that. If she it eating too much, then she has to be told you will indicate the things she cannot eat or can eat, so that there is no confusion. As a nanny, she is part of your family and not the same as a babysitter.

If you don't want her to eat something, put a small sign on it saying do not eat this, saving for kids on it.;

I agrgee with the others, however, is she eating you out of house and home? If she is eating all the food then you may want to talk to her about it. It is one thing for her to help herself to a meal but to eat everything is a bit out of bounds. I was a nanny for a short time and I was allowed to help myself but I didn't eat everything in sight. You should not have to go to the store every day.

I think you have received a lot of good feedback on your situation. Maybe you can pick and choose what might work for you.

I work for two families and care for their children 4-5 hours a day. The families often have said to help myself to this or that. I probably have atleast one bottle of water or a can of diet soda or something like that. One or two drinks. I make myself a sandwich/a few chips.. and might grab a few crackers, a piece of cheese or a cheesestick in the afternoon. while I'm there. Sometimes I bring my own lunch and sometimes I take the kids out for a bagel or mcdonalds and I try and repay them that way..And I use my gas and my car to pick the kids up from things or take them places which isn't that often..

so we sort of share back and forth that way. I would never deplete them completely of something and certainly wouldn't eat a whole darn bag of grapes. I mean that is sort of rude to think that no one else in the house would want some of that.. geesh!

And I would never touch their left overs as I can easily see how a family might be needing that for another meal.

I mean, I agree with you that you shouldn't have to shop a whole other day for another person but you probably are going to have to buy a few more things if you are going to let her "help herself" with no limits.

but she obviously needs some limits put on her eating habits if she is wiping you out of ALL of your fruit and yogurt and so forth. I think you should be more specific with the helping yourself thing. If you are feeling weird about it.. heck, put some food away out of sight on a shelf in a bag or something and maybe she will get the message..label it someway.. like for mom and dad's lunch only..or mom and dad's snacks.. good luck and be as nice as you can..

Since I am a nanny and have worked in other people's homes, I feel I know a little about the subject. When I have worked in other people's homes they have always told me to eat whatever I wanted (even on a daily basis) and would even ask me specifics on what I liked for breakfast/lunch so they could buy it when they would do their weekly shop. So I think it is VERY normal for the nanny to eat your food on a daily basis, maybe not a whole bag of grapes, that just seems plain rude, but I think you know what I mean. =] Hope this helps!

Unless you specified before you hired her that she had to bring her own food you are just going to have to deal with it.
Does she take good care of your baby? Is she responsible and reliable? Have you had any other problems with her? If the answer to these questions is NO than you should be happy that this is all you have to worry about. You should be thankful that you actually found someone that you can trust and someone you can count on and not worry about what she is eating.
Maybe ask her what food and snacks she would like on a weekly basis and buy those that way you won't be upset when she eats all of your grapes. If the situation gets out of control where she doesn't stop eating all day you might have to talk to her about it, otherwise it is just part of the situation.

J.

I had fulltime nannies and always told them during the hiring process that meals were included. They could help themselves to whatever was there for breakfast, lunch and snacks, and if they had a preference for something, such as a particular soda or type of yogurt, they could just let me know and I would keep that in stock. Since that it was we agreed to, I had no problems at all. My only requests were that they advise when something was running low or empty and that if I did request that they not touch it (bringing a casserole to a friend that night, etc), that they'd respect that. We never had a problem, but it was all part of the agreement. perhaps she ate the baag of grapes because there was nothing else to eat for lunch and she obviously understood that the food is there for her too. What did you say when you told her to help herself to the food?

as a former Nanny I assumed if a parent said "help yourself to anything to eat" it would mean anything. If I am watching the child in your home for all day, YOU are supplying ME food for that time. That is part of agreement usually.

If you don't want to feed her, then you need to sit down with her and determine what meals/foods she can help herself to, and what she needs to supply herself.

N.

I agree with Stacy 100%, it's part of the job.

Hi L.,
I think asking what things she likes would be the way to go. I don't know if you have the space or not but could you give her a space cabinet or drawer to keep "her" things in or a space in the fridge? That way she can "feel free" but will have a visual to what is hers and you can see what items she is running out of to restock when you are at the grocery store. She could also bring items to leave at your house (ie soda, coffee etc).
Just a thought, Good Luck!

Nannies should be able to help themselves to your food. I was a nanny in college and that is how it worked with me and my employer. I would bge offended if you had told me to help myself and then a few weeks later you told me to start brining my own lunch.
You could ask her the day before you go grocery shopping what she would like. Maybe this way she will only eat what you purchased for her. Good luck!

Your nanny should be able to eat when she is at your house. If you start making limits on food....you may piss her off and make her feel bad. You might as well get used to shopping more than once a week. Once your baby gets to be older, you will feel like you are always at the store. It is just part of the package...

I am a nanny (not a babysitter) and I would never assume that all the food in the kitchen was fair game. Even if someone says "help yourself" I would imagine they meant to a random juice box or a yougart every now and then. I pack my own food everyday but admit I have had a few bowls of cereal if the day is running longer than I thought or I just got too hungry to wait till I was off. Their food is just that their food. If I was working at a store say Jewel I would not assume just because there is food available that I may help myself all the time. I really don't know of any job that supplies your daily meals (unless you happen to live on the premises). If I'm babysitting that is different. The family does supply the food because it's usually a couple of hours on a Fri.or Sat. night.