Need Relationship Advice - Houston,TX

Invite them. And if you have to, call and say "Nephew is going into the service. We all love him. He wants family together. We are all going to be here FOR him and be polite to each other FOR HIM", We're all adults, and he deserves this."

As the sister of a Army Infantry soldier (two tours in Iraq and now battling PTSD and other issues sustained during war), you let him decide.

It may be hard for you, but I can't tell you how hard it was as a sister to send my baby brother off to war. I know it was ten times harder for my mom. You let his mom be there and your brother and you will have to be civil, as well as his mom.

This event is not about any of you and should not be treated as such.

Please thank your nephew for his service.

Well, I think you should all be grown ups and be there for your nephew. This isn't about you, this isn't about his dad, this is about what he wants before he goes to war, and he wants his mom to be there. You can all be civil for a couple of hours.

As the guest of honor, he gets to determine the guest list. This is about him, not you and your brother. You invite her, and if she comes, keep in mind that you are celebrating your nephew and put on your happy face and be gracious.

If you can't do that, then someone else should host the party. Your brother is just going to have to get over it and manage to be the adult when his son wants both parents together. There will be other important events (graduations, wedding, grandchildren) where their mutual presence is expected. Might as well get used to it.

E.-

Please thank your nephew for her service.

With respect to your ex SIL (and other 'adults in this situation)...It is time for ALL adults to put their 'big panties' on, and keep the focus on the nephew.

That is where the focus belongs. And 'adults' should be able to do this for the duration of a party.

Period
.

***geesh...I meant HIS service!! ****

Party is for your adult nephew. It's his mom and he has specifically expressed his desire for his mom to attend.

You don't do what she would do, you do the right thing....invite her.

All adults need to suck it up and be adults. Don't have to be friends, just need to be civil for the sake of the children (it's not their fault mom and dad split).

Invite them. Be the better person. They can always turn you down. Who knows, maybe this small gesture will open the door to better relationships and time with the kids.

He wants her to come.
Suck it up and invite her. Put the onus on her to accept or not.
Please thank your nephew for his service to our country.

Invite her definitely. This is for him. Be polite to her and rise above the fray. This will make your nephew happy.

Invite her. I bet she won't be thrilled to come to a party you are hosting but hopefully everyone can put their differences aside for your nephew's sake. God bless him!!!

I haven't ready anyones response..... but I say invite her. Put your feelings aside, and invite her. She is his mother and he wants her there. Be courteous and friendly to her if she comes, be the better person.

Invite her and be super polite.

You invite her for your nephew, who is going off to possibly risk his life for his country.
You call bro and ex-sister-in-law and tell them that all 3 of you are going to suck it up for a few hours and play nicely NO MATTER WHAT. He deserves this!

Sometimes we just have to endure uncomfortable situations...

He wants his mom and dad there. How sad it is that a child can't have his mom and dad in the same room without there being hard feelings and drama. My parents are divorced...it sucks...divorce rips families apart. And the ripple effects from divorce go on for generations. My heart goes out to this young man whose parents and extended family do not get along.

This party is not about you, your brother or his ex. This party is about a young man willing to sacrifice his LIFE for the safety and security of our blessed country. Please be willing, all of you, to sacrifice hard feelings for this young man. Give him a few hours where there is peace among his loved ones. Then send him off with those memories of a time when his family could all be in the same room together.

That is great you are having a party for him. I am so grateful for men and women who continually choose to represent our country...and fight to protect it. God Bless!

You invite her. She's his mother, and he specifically requested her presence.

Unless there is a history of violence or you guys are legally bound to keep your distance, you should be able to make this about sending your nephew off into military service with the best taste in his mouth for the family that he is leaving behind.

Invite her-be a bigger, better person; at the first sign of discourse, show her the door.

Could you send out an invitation for a party between these hours, lik, 2-4 and then you have an end time for that uncomfortable time she will be there. You can let others know they can stay later.

Maybe everybody can be good for those 2 hours.

Its his day, let her come, but if she causes issues then ask her to leave.

Invite her. Be the bigger person. This party is for HIM not you. Put your differences aside and have the party.

I have never gotten along with the other side of my grandson's family BUT that has NEVER stopped me from attending a party or other function for my grandsons that they are hosting and has never stopped me from inviting them to functions I am having for my grandsons.

Time to put on your big girl panties and be a big girl!

I would invite her since your nephew wants her there and the gathering is for him. It's his wish. Do your part and if she goes great, and if not...well then she can feel bad with your nephew. Good luck sweetie.

If I were in your place, I would tell my nephew that I will invite her.

If you use email, put his email in the Cc. Let him see that you actually did the invite. That way, if she turns down the offer, he will know it is not your "fault."

You're working on the party. Don't worry about entertaining everyone who shows up. You're worry might extend to "do I have enough punch for everyone."

Bless you for worrying about the drama. I hope the relationship stuff can be left "at the door" and everyone remember that the party is for your nephew.

And God bless your nephew for signing for military service!

Be the bigger person or you become the same as her. Show graciousness and consideration for the spot your nephew is in. Tell your brother to get over himself too and that it is time to grow up and stop acting like they are the only ones involved. They have hurt the kid long enough.