Need Sleep - Massapequa,NY

Have you tried reading Dr. Weissbluth's Healthy SLeep Habits, Happy Child? I found it very helpful.

do you have a night light? maybe he is afraid of the dark. my 2 year old is. we share a room currently and if he wakes up while it is still dark he cries for the tv to be on. it doesnt have to be on a channel he likes, just on so it is not dark anymore and no sound, that is how i know he is afraid. maybe you can try one of those toys that put the lights and pictures on the wall and ceiling therefore he will have light and something to soothe him back to sleep. i plan on trying this myself. hope this helps.

Hello,

Maybe you shouldn't put him down @ 8; see if he will stay up another hour or so. Also, did you ever try books on tape? Chinaberry has a series of books on tape that are great. Particularly if you can get something by Jim Weiss; he is really incredible. His voice is really soothing and might put you to sleep before your child. Do you read to your son before you turn out the light? I would try to get rid of the nap, or let him take his nap in the living room or someplace where he might not sleep quite as long as his quiet bedroom. He might just be a kid who doesn't need a lot sleep. And if he isn't in distress, he is crying because he wants to be with you; this is what babies want to do....hang out with us! Also, have you tried taking him to a practitioner who might pick up allergies, be able to adjust him, etc. Good luck, and I know one thing, it will change eventually and will probably get better.

I read everyone's replies and just want to add my own. My son is 20 months old also and the last few nights, we've had the same issue. I do go to him but keep lights off and don't talk to him. Sometimes he's thirsty (we leave a sippy cup next to his crib and sometimes he'll get up himself and drink and fall back to sleep) or his pacifier falls out and he can't find it (we also keep an extra one by his crib so he can find it.) Other times, he just wants us close to him.

I also have noticed a difference between his sleeping in the Spring, Summer and Fall when he can be out ALL DAY and running around wearing himself out and in the Winter when it's cold (and icy this week) where we're inside all day. Maybe he needs more activity? I know I also sleep better when I've been active during the day. Just an idea. Good luck!

When my 1 year old does this it usually means an ear infection. Even if he is not sick he could still get one. Take him in to rule that out. If he checks out ok than it is probably behavioral.

Also if my baby becomes sleep deprived he usually experiences night terrors where he will awake a few hours after we put him down screaming and crying uncontrollably and there is nothing we can do to comfort him. This happened twice both due to a change in schedule while traveling & a late family party. After I put 2 & 2 together I try my darndest to get him in bed same time every night. My point is even if your child is not having nightmares/terrors, sleep deprivation causes poor sleep.

I do not think cutting out his nap will help. He is still too young for that. Do you go to him immediately when you hear him wake? Give him 10 -20 minutes and see what happens. If he is still crying go in to make sure he is not hurt or stuck. Do not make eye contact, do not talk to him, do not stimulate him in any way. Lay him down say good night once and firmly then walk out. Do not go back in. Don't do it. If he is healthy than he is just wants your attention.

I know many will say that they are still babies, they need their mommies & comforting, this time in their lives is so short blah blah blah. They get your loving in the daylight hours unless they are sick. You have to think about your health and sanity as well as his and the other family members. Without proper sleep our bodies are more prone to illness. With too much stress due to lack of sleep our bodies are prone to illness. You baby needs sleep not only to stay healthy but to grow. Recent studies confirm that the growth hormone actually works its best while babies are sleeping.

Get a routine and stick to it. Before bed and afterwards. Good luck. I know how hard this is.

A.

Hi E.,

I feel your pain I just logged in to ask for help with the same situation; my 18 month old will not go to sleep. We have always had the same routine bath then bed 8pm every night. For the past few weeks he is up until at least 11 and then wakes up again in the middle of the night. He is in day care so he is still up at 6am every day. He has no teeth coming in, I have had his ears checked, tried nighttime meds, sleepy time teas, nothing works. The added problem I have is my son is not in a crib anymore so he gets up to run around or play. I would also love any advice you get.

Hi E.,

I have the same problem with my 13 month old. I found he sleeps better now that I put him to bed earlier (around 6:30 or 7:00pm). I think he was overtired and that caused some of the night awakenings. Try it a couple of nights and see what happens. Definitely do not take away his naps. And if he wakes up at 6:30am then putting him to bed later would not give him enough sleep. Other than that, my doctor told me to let him cry for 15 minutes before going in and checking in on him and sometimes he will fall back asleep on his own.

Hang in there. It will get better (or so I keep telling myself!)

Hi E.,

I never knew this until it happened with my son at 17 months, but it is kind of a milestone. Kids commonly start to have waking like this, first time is 9 months, and second time around 18 months, and is thought to be directly related to seperation anxiety. I don't have good advice since I brought my son into my bed (which solved the whole probelm) and you may not want to do that at this point, but if this is the cause reassurance that you are near combined with a firm hand regarding the fact the he needs to go back to sleep may help. The phase will pass. I noticed my son seemed to be sleeping very lightly at that time, but maybe three months later, I could see a change, and he started sleeping more soundly. Keep an eye out for that and maybe it would be a good time to ease up on the reassurance (to much reassurance tells them there really is something to fear, the wrong message).

Good luck!

C.

Hi E.-

How long of a nap does your son take? I know with my youngest, the LESS he sleeps during the day, the worse he sleeps at night. Sounds strange but its true. I definitely say keep the naps. If he were up until 10 then falling asleep I'd consider stopping them but that isn't the problem.

So on to the actual problem...
Have you tried sort of "weaning" him from your presence after returning him to his bed? First few nights, stay until he's fallen asleep, then gradually work up to leaving just before he's all the way asleep etc. etc.

He may be having nightmares, maybe he's just lonely, it's hard to tell when they are so young. My son had night terrors but you'd know if he were having those. I'm guessing he's just lonely and just wants reassurance that someone is still around and your presence would be comforting until he can fall asleep on his own. Its a lot of work to do this but if you don't like the option below, I'd give it a try.

Last resort and I'll admit that I do this because I'm too darn tired to do anything else...put a cot next to your own bed or put him in your bed. You'll at least get some sleep but you'll have to eventually break that habit, too.

One other thing...it may just be a phase. Both my kids have gone through and are going through fits of poor sleeping. It could be that it will just stop on its own.

Good luck!

I would talk w/ your pediatrician for help, and also I agree that you probably shouldn't cut out his nap in the daytime. My 3 year old still needs his nap. I would try establishing a routine. Quieter time before bed, a bath helps my kids. Something to help indicate it's bedtime.
In the night, I would just do like the other person said, make sure there's a night light, and go in and just comfort him. If you are super desperate, lay down with him. It's probably just a phase in my opinion. Good luck getting some sleep! I hope you will be able to pinpoint what's going on. It's hard to know since I'm not sure what you've already tried.

I am a mother of 2 kids as well. when our first child was born, my friend gave me this book from Dr. Marc Weissbluth, called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". We follow this book to the tee, and our kids are great sleepers. our second child was not a good sleeper as a baby, so we put him to sleep a lot earlier than normal, i.e. around 6:30, instead of 8 at night. by a year, we let him "cry it out" at night. He put up quite a stink for a few nights, but then he slept right through. Our daughter 's room was right next door, and she never heard a thing! bottom line is, whenever we had sleep problems, we consulted the book, and Dr. Weissbluth's advice worked like a charm. I never felt like I was harming or abandoning my son when he cried at night, because he needed to learn to sleep! hope this helps! good luck! it's never easy to deal with kids :-)

E.,
How about trying this idea. Still let him have his naps, but wake him up half way through. I tried that on a child I baby sat for. It helped.

N.

E.; this is so hard. we had a lot of sleep challenges here too; my son is 2.5 and JUST started sleeping thru the night as in 8 pm till about 430 a.m. and then he needs to still be put back down to sleep till about 6 a.m.; but till now he got up anywhere from 2 - 5 times per night. and i have a 10 month old girl who is not at all consistent about going to sleep or staying asleep. so i know where you're coming from.

ihave continued to nurse my son thru this; some people have said that this has caused the wakings, others have said the opposite; for us, we live in a 1 br apartment and all sleep in the same room, so crying it out was out of the question, plus, i think crying it out is very dangerous and morally not so cool either. there have been times over the 2.5 yrs when he would hit a great stride and sleep thru or wake only 1 x, and other times where it was out of control. i never believed that ignoring him was the answer.

i would say to you this; first, check out the Dr. Jay Gordon website, and try AskMoxie.com and Kellymom.com, but i can't guarantee you there will be answers there.

to me, sleep is worth any price, but the price is not always obvious, and a lot of people who don't understand what you're going through have TOTAL BS to offer and they are usually very wrong; i think you should listen to your heart, and you seem to feel like you want to handle this with love and gentleness. what about putting a mattress on the floor of his room and sleeping in the room with him for a couple of weeks and seeing if that helps him settle in? what about having him sleep in bed with you? i know a lot of people would freak out at that notion, but a "family bed" is sometimes an excellent temporary, or long-term-temporary (as in a year or more) solution.

my son has responses to my baby girl that emerge over time; my neighbor's kids are 3.5 yrs old and 5 mos old, and she's experiencing the same thing; in other words, a little little kid will have delayed reactions to a new sibling; they don't just get used to it and move on. it couldbe that your son really needs extra attention right now, and is trying to get it from you at night when everything and everyone else is out of the way. maybe you should give it to him for as long as it takes for him to feel more comfortable.

just a thought.

J.

I sympathize with your predicament. Keep your senses alert and try to stay relaxed about it. Sometimes a tooth may take some time of causing trouble before it actually shows up. Be careful about caffiene and sugar in the diet, especially caffiene in chocolate,soda, etc. Small bodies take much longer than adult ones to metabolize caffiene and a small amount can have a big effect on a child's wakefullness. Also artifical color can cause trouble with a childs metabolism. It can be hard to aviod those things this time of year but it may help if you can.

I have a nine year old brother, and when I was still living at home with my parents, we had the same problem. We got some walky talkies, and when we heard him crying, we'd talk to him through the walky talky. Most nights, he'd go right back to sleep with it in his hands. I think he was comforted by mom, dad, and sissy's voices. It didn't last long either; he'd have difficult nights for about two weeks, then he'd sleep soundly through the night for 5 or 6 months. If the walky talky didn't work, he'd get a bottle and when his tummy was full he'd sleep well.

I suggest you and dad take turns at night. You stay up for an hour, and dad get the next hour while you sleep; or you get the baby the first time he wakes up and dad get him next time. That's how my husband and I deal with our 3 month old during her difficult nights. One of us takes her downstairs while the other sleeps then swap every hour until the baby goes to sleep.

Don't be disheartened, it's normal, and actually a milestone. Be patient and catch naps when you can. A rested mom is a good mom. Good luck!

E.,

It's hard to know for sure what is going on with Ethan, but I do know that children tend to regress in certain areas (especially sleeping) right before they are about to gain a new skill in another area. Children are constantly going through these periods of regression before acquisition of new skills. It is hard for them to maintain all of their present skills when they are focusing so much on acquiring a new one. You tend to see this before they start to crawl, walk, speak in longer sentences, etc. I am a speech-language pathologist and went to a special training on this, so I just wanted to pass along my knowledge and let you know that it probaby will pass and you may even see a new skill emerge that you didn't know was coming!

I went through this with my daughter at around 20 months old. After pulling my hair out, I tried lowering the heat in her room at night and she started to sleep a little better. Ends up she was overheating and didn't know how to tell me. I hope your sleeping situation is that simple to fix! Good luck! (BTW, love your son's name!:) )