Need Some Advice and Opinions Please

I have worked from home for 6 years and this past one was the first with kids. I suddenly have a commute again because I take the girls to/from daycare each day. The one day I tried to work with them in the house was not a work day at all. They couldn't go to day care because it was closed so we brought someone in. They only wanted to be with mommy instead of the nanny so I couldn't work at all. They are the same way when daddy gets a call he has to take outside office hours, even though I'm still there to play with them.

You can try being home with them & working through naps, evenings, weekends, etc, but you may find that you aren't actually spending any more time with them that way. You also may find the quality of your time together is less because you can't leave the office & you're always thinking about the work things that still need to be done.

On the positive side, I love working from home with my kids in day care because we never wake the girls in the morning. I get up & start my work day. When they get up (usually 1-2 hours later), I stop working for breakfast, play & commuting. If I really need to, I can do a few more things in the evening, but I generally am totally focused on the girls when I'm with them & totally focused on work/chores when I'm not. I get to the laundry & other little tasks during my breaks instead of chatting with officemates.

When this option came up for me, we sat down and made out a budget. We added in things like daycare, gas, the fact that I ate out more on my lunch hour, the drive time that I wasn't getting paid for, etc. We discovered that, even though I was making more at my prior position, I was actually only grossing about $200 a pay period after the honest expenses were figured in. Even though we've had to tighten our belts a little and cut out some of the "fun" spending, it is so wonderful to be home. The first couple months I felt like, "What was I thinking?" but, it feels really good to be the one that my son comes to when something is wrong and to feel like he really knows me for the first time in his young life.

I know money concerns are there. I plan on going back to work outside of the home when our son is a little older. For the time being, though, we use Upromise, which is pretty cool, and we just do the best we can. But, I know there are a lot of options out there and ways to work things out no matter what you decide. Good luck!

M., be thankful that you even have the opportunity at all to stay home with your daughter! You can't get back those years and it WILL make a difference in your daughter. Go back to working outside the home when she starts school if you must, but stay home and take advantage of the time to mold her character, make her a secure and confident little girl so she can later be sucessful at whatever she chooses to do. Teach her letters, numbers, read her stories. Make more things from scratch, walk to places, rent movies from Redbox, cut back on every expense you can but not on time with your daughter, the rewards will much outweigh the sacrifices you might have to make in your budget now.

I agree with Deb. By the time you add in higher car insurance, more meals out, daycare costs, gas, etc., most figures say it's actually cheaper to stay home than to work out. Once those are figured in, maybe you'd feel better if you still have missed income when you consider the time you get with your daughter that you'll never have again. Remember the old saying, "Time is money." You can always earn more later, but you'll never have an 11 mo baby girl again. I'd encourage you to just figure out a budget, see where you can cut back, and then take the pay cut. You'll be glad you did when she's at college and you're missing her more than worrying about the school bill. If college savings are a real worry for you, make that a priority in your budget. GL I know it's a tough decision. I was there by force 2.5 years ago. We've had enough money since. We just had to readjust our budget.

Cheer up, at your babies age you probably should stay with her even if it means a pay cut. What you will see is that as she approaches 18 months/2 she will probably beg to go to a day care to play with others, especially since you have developed that bonded relationship at home in her early years. My son was basically sick of me by 2 and wanted lots of toys and friends that day care offers. So I was able to put him for 3 full days and work my schedule around that-with no guilt- he was playing and having fun. As they get close to school age you can be back in the work force and make up for that financial stuff for college etc. But whats a college education when your kid feels un bonded to you and more bonded to a daycare worker. Mommyhood is hard! iTs tough and tough decisions have to be made. I accepted that my career I could focus on for long years ahead when my kids were in shcool but those young years are so crucial. My son finally got a little sad the 2nd week of daycare when he realized it was a habit now, but I just talked to his teachers and they said as soon as I leave he stops crying and has a blast all day! but yeah they miss us, they just want us to stay at daycare with them too:) So dont beat yourself up whatever you do, its hard to be a woman let a lone a mom, and our culture has mis represented the fact that we can be these supper moms who have the great career, babies, all at the same time and still clean and make dinner, o yeah and have enough energy to make love to our husbands and work out! WOW! NO! We have to give and take and put things in priority and realize that we can wait on certain things and have a little of everything, just not at the same time:) GOD BLESS YOU !! Just encourage yourself whatever your decision:)

Wow, the milion dollar question! First of all working from home means working, not being at home with your child. So plan on hiring help or still having her in day care part time. An 11 month old needs alot of attention and care and you really can't do both things at once, the child tends to get the short end of the stick. I personally think the whole working from home to be with your kids is a fallacy. Second, have you actually done a family budget? Sit down with your husband and figure out where your money is going etc. See where you might be able to make cuts, like not going on a big vacation ar not eating out. You might be surprised to see how much it is literally costing you to go to work ( my calculations are about 20k, child care, gas, food, convienence meals, clothing, there are also big tax implications, go online and there are some tax calculators that show what you actually bring home). I know this is going to sound sexist but support your husband, free him up to do what he can to support your family!) Also remember that this is a relatively short period if you just want to be home until say kindegarten. Also, the state of Colorado has a great college savings plan, I think it is called college Invest( every state has one, you have probably seen the commercials). They will match your contribution every year( there are income limits) and it is a tax write off on your state return. I think if you really have the desire to be home then you should, don't worry so much about the college fund, you have eighteen years, even if you could just save a little right now and then more as your family's income grows, or when you go back to work if you desire! Also remember you don't need it all by the time they are 18, if you just have enough for tuition and books you can pay the rent every month! My older neighbor once told me ( when I was worrying about the same issue you are now!) that her daughter earned all of her own PIN money in the summers and aslo put herself with the parents through grad school! My kids are definately contributing to their education( and not because we are unable but because it teaches character!) SO go over that budget, I have been home for 11 years and we have made it work, I am so glad we have! It has gone by quickly( my youngest is 5), they are so precious, and now my oldest is going to middle school! I am going to subsitute teach next year, part time! You'll want to be there for them after school! Good luck to you!

I don't want to sound harsh, but that is a no brainer....$ or the well being of your little girl. You can save $ later when she is school, but you can't get back her first mildstones in life. Not to mention you may be making less but will be spending less on gas, and daycare etc.

I can say firsthand I was where you were seven years ago.
Being home with your child is priceless. With the cost of gas you will be saving, daycare expenses and meals out you will be amazed at the savings. You can lower your insurance on your vehicle to with letting them know you are at home now too. Just staying home can save you $1,100 a month!
You can always figure to put back whatever you can each month for savings, retirement and a college plan. Talk to your bank or insurance person about what kinds of plans they have.
I can say a child won't remember how big their room was growing up, how many clothes they had or how many toys, they WILL remember you being there for them.
It is a huge deal giving up the freedom of money, until kids are in Elementary however I think it is a great thing.
I don't know how anyone at home can be bored, hee hee, as I work my tail off and am exhausted.
I have to go back into the workforce for many reasons soon, it stinks but I know mentally I am so ready, my kids are four and almost seven. They have had me here during their milestones, watching them grow and become independent and they are ready as well! I lost time and money in my 401K, but with the economy the way it is that isn't saying much as most workers are having to dig into theirs to survive and college is a ways a way and I just am thankful I could be home as long as I have been.

M.,
My heart goes out to you making that decision but I have to tell you I vote on working at home. I'm 57 and have two amazing daughters who are mothers of 3 precious grandsons. When they were growing up I worked part time, as close to home as I could while my husband worked nights and weekends so that he could be with them during the day. Yes, it did delay my career and it was a struggle at times financially but I'll never regret being home with them as much as possible. College is a long way off for your little one and there is always a way to make it work. We got school loans and work-study programs. The time goes so quickly when they are pre-school age, be there as much as you can be. We caught up financially, the girls are very successful with Bachelors and Masters degrees and they enjoy being moms. Go with what's in your heart, you won't regret it.
"Grandma Linda" (the sweetest title in the world)

M.-

Although I'm a HUGE advocate for staying home, and am a stay-at-home mom myself, it is a personal decision that needs to be discussed with your husband. If you guys can make it without your additional income, then I'd do it in a heartbeat. It's unbelievable how much you miss by not being there. I cannot imagine not being there for my babies and watching them grow, especially now that they are in school and next year I won't have anyone at home all day anymore!

It goes by so fast. Cherish every single minute. Even the difficult times.. they will be gone one day and you'll have the memories of those beautiful faces looking up at you and their chubby little arms reaching for you to look back on.

Best wishes-
C.