Need Some Advice on My Son's Bad Habits

Updated on October 23, 2007
D.S. asks from Spring, TX
6 answers

My 5 yr. old son recently started the habit of chewing on the front of his shirts. He has eaten holes in all of his shirts, old and new. We just bought him all new school clothes in late August. Every single shirt he has is chewed all in the front. I've been trying to break him of this. At the moment we can't afford to get him all new shirts. I'm afraid if we do he will chew them up too. I've got to break him of this habit!!! I've tried just about everything I can think of. His kindergarten teacher even gets on him about it. Is this a nervous habit of starting kindergarten? He started it before he started school. We are definitely having trouble with him in several areas right now. Listening is one of them.
Another bad habit I am trying to break him of is picking up our poor sweet declawed cat. He is a little too rough with her and he usually just picks her up and goes and lays down with her to cuddle up. But he holds her down hard till she growls. I've yelled at him, busted his butt, put him in the corner and tried to explain to him he is hurting her. He hurt her hip just recently. I am ready to find her a nice home so he doesn't hurt her any further. Poor cat. My other cat is a scaredy cat and is smart enough to run and hide from him. She has all of her claws too. We had to declaw the younger one because she was tearing up the scared one playing.
Everything we have tried with my son goes in one ear and out the other. Maybe its just his age, at 5 my daughter listened though.
I need some advice on what to do about him. I need a home for the poor sweet cat before she gets hurt anymore. And I need some boys shirts!!!!!!!
I need one of those Calgon take me away moments too. LOL!

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M.A.

answers from Houston on

My son does this still and he is almost 11. He has been diagnosed with tourettes. His is very mild and no meds are needed. That is just one of his tics. Another is licking things. I would definately talk to your pediatrician about this. I wish I had known earlier why my son was doing this instead of always disciplining him. He also has issues with empathy which may be why your son is doing that to the cat.

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A.L.

answers from Houston on

My son is about to be 7 and he also has this habit on and off...not quite to the point of chewing holes in his shirt, but they will get all soaked in the front and stretched out. It is definately stress related for my son and if your son is just starting school, then he is probably using this as a stress/anxiety response. You may try letting him take something small and special (like a favorite little toy or marble) to school to keep in his pocket so he can feel that when he is nervous? Maybe let him chew some sugarless gum to keep him busy when he is having a hard time with it. I do know that the more you repremand him about it, the more anxious he will become when he feels he is dissapointing you and the harder it will probably be for him to stop because the anxiety may make him want to chew more! Good luck and try to be patient with him, even though inside it may make you crazy. My son has, for the most part, stopped this habit on his own over the last year.

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C.A.

answers from Houston on

Your son may have Sensory integration dysfunction. Go to google and type in this disorder. If you see anything that clicks a trigger for you, print it and talk to your pediatrician and ask for a referral to a pediatric occupational therapist. I don't know where you live but if you live near Houston I can get you some referrals. Don't accept the "we will wait and see if he grows out of this". If he is displaying these behaviors, he needs to get assistance in dealing with them or it will get worse and you will see his behaviors change in other ways as well.

C.

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K.B.

answers from Houston on

My brother used to chew on his shirts also. I remember my mom would put something on his shirt collar to make it taste bad when he put it in his mouth. I want to say that she used tabasco sauce, but I might be wrong about that. Anyway, then when he would put his shirt in his mouth, it would taste bad and that broke him of the habit in a short time.

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D.H.

answers from Houston on

My daughter used to do the same thing when she was younger (shes 12 now). She actually still does, sort of. I recently found her chewing on some string a couple of times. She used to chew holes in her clothes as well & sometimes when she's in deep thought, during her basketball games or doing her homework I still catch her doing it. I beleive its just a nervous habit. Some people bite there nails, some twist their hair, while ours chew on their clothes. While some habits can signify a problem, I don't think this one was that serious. She is a honor roll student as well as athletic with no behavioral issues. I think he would be fine. He probaly cuddles the cat because he's being forced out of his comfort zone of chewing on his clothes. A lot of times if we have to substitute something else for the things we're seperated from. Good luck

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M.K.

answers from Houston on

D.,
I would start with talking to your pediatrician. This age boys are attempting to have some independence and control of his world. Give him limited choices in small things and some control of his world. This sounds like an anxiety and attention need to me. I would give him some positive attention and ask him what is going on in his world. He might need some play therapy to work through his anxieties and to get to the root of the problem. Let him know that it is not acceptable to act like that but at the same time let him tell you what is in his mind when he does these things....you will be surprised what he tells you. Don't negate what he is saying either because this will make him more anxious. Good luck

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