I've been sick for the past month (allergies to bronchitis), start feeling better for a whole day, then I get my period. It's super hot outside and I've been grumpy, miserable, tired and extremely unmotivated. I have a 4 and 1/2 year old son (I'm 46), who is an angel. But, I'm feeling so guilty about letting myself get into this depressed state and having such a hard time getting out of it. There isn't much to do around here, especially because of the heat and he doesn't have but a few friends, since he only starts VPK this year. Anyone else find themselves feeling super down and not knowing how to snap out of it? Any suggestions on what to do with a little boy whose only joys are Minecraft, toy guns, cartoons and running around playing? I'm still doing everything I need to around here, however, not with the light step I use to have. I just don't know what to do, depression doesn't usually get a hold of me like this, so I'm really having a hard time.
Thank you all so much for your advice, kindness and words of encouragement. My lungs have finally cleared up, my period is gone, and so is that black cloud. Time to get back on my healthy eating and what exercise I can manage in this humidity. I never want bronchitis again!!
Yuck. Sick AND PMS. That sucks.
But it's temporary.
Put on something comfy and go for a walk. Put the kiddo on his bike. Even if it's just around the block, you'll feel better.
I'm sorry you are feeling down. I think most of us go through that at some point.
I would not worry about what you are not doing. I would take the time to just relax and hang with your son. It doesn't matter if you don't dust or clean for a week or two, just get the basics done. Maybe go to the public pool with a good book and let your son play and have fun with new friends.
I'm in AZ and I know how hard it is to get out in the summer. My son is at Boys and Girls Club because he needs to be active but my daughter and I are mostly in the house all day or doing errands. We go swimming late, after 6pm, when it starts to 'cool' off...100 instead of 115. lol
So my advice is to just take it easy and don't stress and let it pass. I hope things get better for you. Good luck.
I think you're still recuperating and need some rest.
Can't you put your son in a day camp for a week or two?
You can drop him off, he'll have fun with activities and playing with other kids and you can go home, take a long hot bath, catch a nap, and feel SO much better when you go to pick him up.
As we get older, it takes longer to recover from any illness. So if you figured three weeks it will be two months.
Take your time and do a little each day. Get out of the house for an hour or so each day. Take a walk around the block or to the park and go back home. Your son enjoys being with you and whatever you do with him he will remember the fun stuff he did with mom at home. Soon he will be off to school and your schedules will be different.
As for the period, it changes as we get older. What was not a problem or painful becomes that way. The flow and the length change as well. Talk to your doctor about how you are feeling.
Welcome to parenthood a bit later in life. We each have our journey and with the ups and downs but you will be okay.
the other S.
PS My two kids are 41 and 38 and grandson 17.
Well guilt is terrible ... so let go of that. We all do that. Your son is likely happy - I think we feel we have to do all this stuff to entertain them, but mine were ok on days where I was too ill to do much with them (which was a lot). I felt massive guilt, but now that they are older, they told me they thought it was all good - have no idea why I would have worried. But worrying is what some of us do best :)
You've had a hard run of it being ill, so just take it day by day, start small. Maybe go to the park one day to get out. Go to the library another. He'll see some kids at these places. Mine are perfectly content to meet up with kids they don't know at the park on days when that's all I feel like doing.
I had my kids when I was older and I find with my illness, I get very tired. So rest when you can - that helps when you're down. But get a little exercise too - go for a walk with your son, or play Frisbee.
Once you do a little for a day or two, and let go of the guilt, you'll start to feel your pep come back I'm sure.
I get down around my period, so maybe your hormones are into play? If your depression continues, you may want to talk to your doctor - maybe your iron is low (makes you feel fatigued). Or I'm sure they could advise you.
Good luck :)
hello
at 46, you might consider that perimenopause has set in and could very well be the thing that is causing (at least in part) your depression..
in short, as we age (btw, I am 51) your estrogen drops and with that your cortisol levels rises (the stress hormone) and too.... your seratonin (the feel good hormone) declines.... that said, depression can set in... take the hormonal changes and add outside stress and circumstances and boy oh boy can you have some depression.. I know, I have been there..
What's helped me since the onset of PM.. is for one, tracking my monthly cycles.. I can pretty tell when a mood a "hormonal mood" is gonna hit.. and although I can't stop it, I now know that it will pass... somehow in knowing this, I begin to feel better, at least if slightly.. also.. nutrition plays a huge role for me. Although I seldom drink, even if I do want a glass of wine every now and then, I know better than to have one at specific times of the month because the alcohol will only add to my depression... for example.. right before my period and during, estrogen and progesterone are at their lowest.. well with the low hormones and already feeling bad, I know to drink any alcohol would put me over.. this includes sweets, which can also add to my depression..
The other thing that helps is exercise... needn't be strenuous.. but I get out there and WALK... and I do it a lot.. you 've got to move the body and in turn it will help you move your mind...
PM isn't easy or hasn't been for me.. but once I began to understand more clearly what exactly my hormones were doing each month, WOW.. what a difference, knowledge is truly power..
Docs won't tell you much about hormones and instead will prescribe antidepressants. don't go that route.. at least not yet..
try and learn more about your cycle..
a good starting point is in Dr Elizabeth Vliet's book, Screaming to be heard.. she discusses in depth womens hormones and what is going on at each age. I used her book as a starting point and then went from there and scoured the net for more info..
I hope this helps
my best to you
Hi M.,
I am also in Fort Lauderdale and have a 4 1/2 year old. Here are some local ideas:
Young at Art Museum - if you live out west, get a membership and take him there for the classes included in the membership.
Museum of Discovery and Science - if you live east, get a membership - see above.
Local water parks - Plantation has two: Jim Ward Park and Plantation Woods. Both are sprinkler parks - but kids this age love it and will play with anyone, including you! These two are free:)
Croissant Park in Fort Lauderdale - used to be free, but I think now costs $5 for a year of admission. This is not a sprinkler park so if he doesn't swim, you may want some sort of PFD.
Visit parks in the early morning if he is a morning child. If you go to a park from 9-10 it isn't so bad...
Secret Woods Park - a nature conservatory off of SR 84. They have a program called "Nature Tots" - I think it costs $2.00.
Free or almost free movies. Broward Mall has them on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings, the Paragon at Ridge Plaza in Davie has Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Get there early - they do fill up but it is an inexpensive way to teach going to the movie theatre. If he can't handle it at first no big deal, try again in a week.
Hope this helps. We live in downtown Ft. Lauderdale and I grew up here so feel free to message me if you want other ideas.
C.
I feel like as we age....it takes longer to recover/heal from illnesses.
I'm an older mom & have found that I don't have as much energyas I did 10
yrs ago w/SD so I do things that help me entertain my youngest:
-playdates w/a nearby neighbor?
-take him places where there are a ton of kids to play with ike the park, zoo
indoor playarea at the mall, public swimming pool where you can swim
w/him, matinee movie, the mall just to walk around inside the a/c bldg.
-rent a kidsmovie from Redbox or the library so you can relax a bit
-let the housework go until you feel better. Only do what has to be done lik
making dinner, grocery shopping, laundry etc.
-see if there is a Kids Camp in your area for a few hours a day or we have a
Kids Camp in your area that provides flexible drop-in daycare. You can
drop him off for an hour if you have a dr's appt or just need an hour to
yourself to get a cup of coffee or grocery shop alone.
-library reading time for kids
-go for a walk w/him in stroller early in morning to beat the heat. Exercise,
even walking, will help you. Then when you start to feel better,you can
even do exercise DVDs from library
