Need Suggestions on Wedding Invitations

Congrats!!! I just got married in Dec so I know the stress. If catering cost is an issue we used Boston Market. We paid $1500 for 100 ppl. They have a really nice service with carving stations, nice dishes, and people in white coats. People loved it.

At the children's school they assign dishes according to the name. example a-f bring meat, g-k bring fruit etc.

If you have a favorite dish someone makes well as them to bring that and take it off the list.

You could create a online list and update it daily. (evite.com)

You can add a line to the RSVP card where they can write in their dish. This may be best since they would have put forth some effort in responding. Verbal confirmations aren't good in my opinion.

Hope some of this helped!

email me if you want. I did most of my own wedding planning, decor etc and still have some things left.

Hi A.! CONGRATULATIONS!!! I wish you all the best. Kimberly J took the words write out of my mouth! She has an awesome suggestion.

CONGRATS AGAIN!

D.

Hi! Congratulations on you upcoming wedding. My suggestion would be to put all of the reception information on the directions card and word it something like this:

Directions to ceremony/reception: ....

Potluck reception to follow ceremony. If your last name begins with A-J please bring a salad; K-U a main course; and V-Z a dessert. We appreciate your help.

You know who you are inviting, so you can adjust the letters accordingly. You can also include a place on the response card for what they are bringing if you feel the need to monitor what you will have. I hope this helps.

Good luck and most of all, have fun!

C.

I am not trying to be hurtful, but maybe just say with more tact that this is a very risky idea. I would say keep in mind that there is still something very special about a wedding that includes only the wedding party. Big parties are fun, but they are not what marriage is about. That said, if you are sold on the pot luck, and it sounds like you are..I agree that you need to sacrifice presents for the company of your guest and their contributions. If your motivation is truly to have them share in your happiness, not get gifts, this should accomplish your task without insulting them too much. You could simply place on your invitation a one-liner that says, "In lieu of gifts, the happy couple asks that you bring a dish to share." I don't think that you can specify what they bring or how much of it they bring. You have to remember, though it is your day as hostess, they are your guests. The invitation implies a certain amount of hospitality and provisions for thier comfort and happiness at the event. I recently attended a wedding of my husband's co-worker where 200 guests were served two small veggie platters, one fruit platter, and box wine. Some special guests received soup in a disposable bowl. Oh, and the couple did the "dollar dance", in which few participated. It was a very uncomfortable event to attend with people that I don't know. I spent a bit of money on preparing for the event with gift, outfit, and sitter. Plus, I was starving and cranky by the time we left (early.) I wish that we had stayed home and don't have wonderful thoughts about the couple now. My personal thoughts aside, many many other guest (some paid to travel from out of state!)left very early. Those that stayed had many unkind things to say about the newlyweds, and they did not keep them a secret. Really evaluate your motivations for your plans that and remember that marriage done right can bring many intangible gifts like friendship, new family bonds, and wonderful memories. Lastly, as an idea, don't discount the fun of a huge bash for a special anniversary down the line. Perhaps you may be in a more financially able position to provide for guests at that time. Good luck to you.

Best wishes A.! So exciting planning a wedding.

It is very exceptable to put directions on a card, hopefully printed on the same color and quality of paper as the invitation in with the invitation. As to location for the reception, simply this- put on the invitation, at the bottom, "Reception immediately following".

I am however a little bit of a traditionalist, and quite frankly have NEVER heard of asking the guests to bring anything, and am not really sure what I would think if I received such an invitation.

I think it is a perfectly acceptable idea to pass around to immediate family members your idea of a potluck to enlist the help of grandmothers, aunts, and sisters. If you mention what you are doing to a best friend or two, and they offer to participate, I would let them do so in lieu of a gift so they don't feel taken advantage of.

Other than that, if money is the issue, I would plan the wedding and reception at a time of day that is less expensive, morning wedding with small foods afterwards or 1:30, so people would really be between meals and looking for snacks. Then they would not expect the same spread.

Do not go into debt over a wedding - not a great way to start a marriage! However, planning within your means, and asking for the support of immediate family may be just the ticket.
I would just hate for people you would really like to be there not to come because they are a little miffed by the potluck!

Congratulations, A.! These are all great suggestions. Another source that helped me IMMENSELY was www.theknot.com. I just got married in the beginning of February, and this site is a wealth of knowledge for any wedding question imaginable! You may want to check it out when you have time. Good luck!

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! You have already received several great ideas on the directions and reception following the ceremony so I won't address those. I must agree that asking guests to bring a covered dish is a bit tacky. You need to put yourself in their places and think about how you would feel if you were invited to a wedding and asked to bring food too. I probably wouldn't attend unless it were a very close friend or relative. Our daughter got married four years ago and we couldn't afford a big sit down dinner or even a buffet. So the ceremony was held at 6:00 pm and the reception after with finger foods. Sandwiches, meatballs, fruit, cheese and veggie trays and potato, cucumber and macaroni salads. Because it was the dead of winter this was held at a Holiday Inn and they took care of everything, including set up and cean up and the food and drinks, for $1,500. My point is do what you or your parents can afford. People need to learn that wedding receptions are not necessarily a place to go get a full meal. Good luck on your decision and with the start of your new life as a family.
K. D.
www.marykay.com/kdawson2

Congrats! For the reception put "Reception Immediately following ceremony." As far as asking guests to bring a dish, only do this if you do not want wedding presents. How many guests are you inviting? If it is not a huge number, privately ask a few close friends and family to prepare side dishes. There are places where you can buy trays of prepared stuff. We did that for our rehearsal dinner 8 years ago. We had Central Meats in Chesapeake prepare bbq,beans,slaw, salads, rolls, etc. I believe it was about $150 to feed 50 people! Also, BJs & Sams have large size prepared stuff. If money is an issue you can also ask immediate family members and wedding party members that instead of gifts you would prefer them to help you with the reception. Good luck!

Hi A.. It seems like your having an informal wedding, so you can just insert the directions and reception cards inside the invitation. I would however think long and hard about asking the guest to bring a dish. I have never heard of someone being invited to a wedding and being asked to bring food. Is the food in lieu of a gift? If not you might offend people. They might think "I'm supposed to get them a gift and bring food?" and get so offended they may not come. If you really want a cook-out why not do a wedding weekend with the cook out being the next day. Then it won't seem so bad.

I happened to have made some lovely invitations for my own wedding coming up in May and made a three-page graduated look, which includes the invitation, followed by directions, followed by local information. Kind of hard to explain on this format, but I would be happy to send a sample to you. It is very elegant but informal at the same time.

What you could do for the pot-luck type of scenario is to state on the invitation that there will be a "pot-luck picnic/BBQ to follow". That way everyone will know what to expect. Then, as you get replies back from people, call/e-mail them to tell them what to bring. You could also have a separate card with the invitation that suggests different categories, i.e. appetizer, side dish, drinks, etc. and have people check off the category.

I hope this was helpful to you. I am an event planner, so if you have any questions, I am happy to help with suggestions.

Hi A.,

Congratulations to you and your husband to be! As a former caterer, I would not suggest you have a pot luck reception. The main reason is keeping the food safe. Hot foods must be kept above 140 degrees and cold food must be kept at 40 degrees or below to prevent foodborne illness. Then you need to have a place to have things washed and sanitized if they fall on the floor. So unless you have portable chafing dishes and refrigerators, and access to real kitchen, I would rethink that idea. Famous Dave's has wonderful BBQ so you might want to call them.

Good luck!!

Hi. Congrats on your wedding! For the driving directions, provide the full name and address of the location so that people can mapquest on their own if needed, and written directoins from the two most common directions that your guests will be driving from. If you have a lot of guests coming from out of town, you could provide a list of hotels with general prices and phone #s. Also, if you get a block of rooms at a hotel the price is usually cheaper. Then you just need to give directions from the hotel.

For food, you could approach it one of three ways.
1. Have the BBQ catered. My cousin did Red Hot & Blue delivery and my family thought it was cute. If you live in the Woodbridge VA area, Dixie Bones is good and they cater with setup.

2. If you want to have it potluck, you could include a note to just family members asking them to bring their favorite dish. People love to show off their prize recipe. If you would like everyone to bring a dish, try what my church does: they assign a food group to a group of last names. You could add a note to the RSVP note:
Would you be willing to provide a pot-a-love dish? Yes/No.
'A - D' bring a salad, 'E - K' bring and appitizer, etc.

Is there a group of friends or a church woman's group that would be willing to arrange the reception?
M.

Ok , Hi my name is L., I have taken classes for wedding consult. now I have never heard of people bring food to the wedding but A. it is not uncommon just remember it is your wedding and everyone has to cater to what it is the bride wants, so my suggestion to you so there is no shoteages of what you want, make a list of the menue you will be serving and to go from there let your guest know that you are doing a put luck meal, and you would like them to bring a dish be persefic on what you want them to bring and also ask them to please deliver it the day before the wedding if possible, that way if someone can't live up to what it is you are asking them to do you could get someone else to do it or make other arrangements. Having your food there a day ahead also gives you time to arrange things the way you want it to be, add or take away any unnessary items. Setting up the night before is a great way to get a head and less rush on you and the people who is helping you out.Good Luck on your wedding and I hope this will help you alot!!!!!!!

Here is my advice. Number one.. you know your friends and they know you. Ask them to bring something and they will. You can put a card in the invitation with the request. If it is someone invited by a parent or a work acquaintance and you feel uncomfortable then don't put the card in;. Alternately you could put an evite notice out to anyone you have an email for and then keep track of what people are bringing. that way. Or you could ask a friend/ bridesmaid to coordinate by putting her email on the card. Add the directions on a card in the envelope or put the address in and people can map quest it.
Personally I would open an email account set up just for the wedding and have people email what they can bring.. but I'd hand it over to someone other than you or the groom to manage...cuz it gets to be too much.. Have a great time.... and enjoy. May your marriage be amazing and full of love. Rae.

Hi A. ~

I would rethink the pot luck idea. Traditionally, it is the bride and groom who provide the party for the guests. They will already be giving you a wedding gift, so to expect them to provide for the reception as well is a little much and might even be seen as rude. If you're tight on cash, it doesn't have to be an extravagent affair. Perhaps your FAMILY could pitch in and make a few dishes in large quantity the night before - like potato salad, cole slaw and a friut salad or veggies and dip. Several bags of chips and the meat and your good. You'll have your cake as desert.

Best Wishes ~ K.

hey A.,
people who you know really well...tell them exactly what you want them to bring.

you may want to theme the type of food everyone brings.

for example...seperate your rsvps into groups of 10. have them write down what they will bring with the theme.

10-wine
10-side dish
10-dessert
10-beer
10-vegetarian dishes

you may have to custmize your rsvp cards. however you can use your home computer and a program like word.

good luck and congrats on the wedding.
mzbmore

A.,

I'd rethink having guests bring food. First of all, Miss Manners would be aghast, and you might end up having your idea featured in one of her columns, and not to your advantage. You and your family are hosting a party to celebrate your marriage, and the guests are invited to share in the joy, not cater it. A wedding is entirely different from a church pot-luck. Who's doing the barbeque? Do you expect your parents to play chef, or is your groom going to be doing the cooking? Can you see yourself in your wedding dress flipping burgers? The worst wedding I've ever been to was my niece's because she had to be cheap. I was very disheartening to see her mom sweeping up after the wedding.

I'd have the picnic catered, and only ask extremely close family members if they'd like to make a couple of dishes to go with the BBQ. Do you really want to see your favorite autie spill baked beans all over her dress after she's driven awhile to get to your wedding?

By the way, the wedding ceremony is public. The reception is private. If you can't afford to feed everybody without them having to feed themselves, you don't have to have a reception at all.

Best wishes.

Hi A..

Why would you want to have a picnic/BBQ for your reception with people bringing food?

Just want to know. D.

All of what I'd have to say has been put beautifully already by previous comments! Great advice! I agree with Karen that asking your guests who will already be providing a gift to bring food isn't right...it's definitely out of the norm. I ditto with Megan and cater! May cost a little more than expected but will take a lot of worry off of you and then you can enjoy the day without wondering if all you'll be eating is potato salad!
God Bless and Congrats on this awesome new adventure in your life!

I think the pot-luck idea is great. It allows more people to participate in your special day then you'd be able to afford otherwise. Also if guests tend to bring food for gatherings among your family/friends, they'll see it as business as usual.

My suggestion is to divide up the guests: A thru E brings salad, F thru J brings side dish, etc.

A wedding is very special, and although a picnic/BBQ sounds wonderful for the occasion, to just invite guests to bring a dish seems a bit informal. Perhaps you should identify select guests to bring the food and suggest different dishes.

My family and some of my husband's relatives catered my wedding reception, of course that was pretty much 20 years ago. It turned out beautiful...there were about 10-12 turkeys, 35-40 boxes/pans of chicken, several homemade BBQ dishes, an assortment of green vegetables (cabbage, green beans, mixed greens, and salads (including 8 different pasta dishes), and all kinds of deserts (cakes, pies). The food was absolutely delicious, and those who did not cook brought beverages. For a moment there, I almost thought everyone in attendance brought a dish. It was definitely a memorable occasion. But I created a menu and personally went to each individual and asked if they would make a dish for our wedding. By handling it this way, even persons I had not approached brought something. The word-of-mouth effect obviously came into play. Nevertheless, we had enough food to feed a whole city, as opposed to the 250 guests invited.

Perhaps you too should start by putting together a menu for the occasion, and based on it, identify 2-3 persons to be responsible for each item. But make certain you approach and make a personal request of the individuals. For example and depending upon the number of guests you anticipate, you might identify and ask: 3-4 people to bring chicken; 3-4 on burgers; 3-4 for hotdogs; 3-4 for veggies, i.e. greens, salads, corn-on-the-cob; 2-3 on bread, etc. The number of guests you anticipate, should determine how many persons you ask to be responsible for what items.

If handled in the manner above, you do not have to hold off on distributing your invitations. Please know, for all practical purposes, this type of request is best made in person.

R. (Prince George, VA)

Hello A.,

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I am sure you are getting excited, only a short time left now!!

My suggestion is this: make a map from where the majority of your guests are staying/familiar area to them (hotels if they are staying in town, your home if they going to visit you there, major road they drove into town on) to the wedding/reception site. We mapquested ours and printed it out on a card that was seperate from the invite/rsvp..that way they could have it to carry to the site. Be sure to include the driving directions as well.

On a seperate card request the rsvp for attendance AND ask them to check the food group they wish to bring with specifications.. eg: veggie side dish, main meat dish, dessert etc.. and to specify WHAT they will be bringing. This way, you are not telling people what to bring, and thereby not having quite as much to do but you are still getting the idea across that guests should bring something.

Congratulations again, remember to take a breather it is a hectic time but a FUN part of life that seems to go so quickly when it is all over! Best wishes

K.