Need to Find New Hobby...

I took up cross stitch to help quit smoking. It kinda helped. I generally do things from this site:
http://www.subversivecrossstitch.com/

It just helped to do something with my hands. Good luck!

What about taking the girls out for a walk? This is something that you can do together and perhaps you can talk at the same time. You talk talk about what's new with them at school or in their daily lives and maybe this will help you to shift gears.
Divorce is not easy, but it is what it is. Don't let it take the best of you with it.

I would seriously look into getting a wii they have tons of fit games that both you and your girls can do together. It really is a great workout plus you don't have to go to the gym!!

Best of luck with overcoming all you are going thru. Definitely sounds like a tough year. Just one small suggestion - if you decide to go for a treadmill, DON"T buy one new. There are always tons of them on Craigslist.com and lots of times people even give them away on freecycle.com - it would be brilliant of you to pick one up for little or no money, and see if you use it. It sounds like the last thing you need is to spend a couple of hundreds of dollars on something - and then add more stress to your life if you feel guilty for not using it!

Sorry about your divorce. It may help you to talk to a life coach and I know a terrific one. Write back if you'd like her contact information. Good luck!

So sorry your going through a divorce. I have a friend going through one too and talk about tough....She was with him for 29 years and he found a 29 year old.......I know it is hard, but try to be positive. I dont have a treadmill and I dont know if your girls are old enough, but have you thought about getting the WII fit? That could be something for you and your girls to do as a family and it is really fun! Hang in there..........it may not seem like it now but..It will get better.You will find someone who treats you right and loves and respects you.(when your ready) My friend just rented a house and this is the first time since she was 15 that she is on her own...and after 2 long years ..She is really doing very good! Just takes a bit of time.......I'm not a patient person either, but TIME will heal. Good luck to you and your girls ....Take one day at a time!

Good for you, S., for trying to better your and your girls' lives. The easy way would be to have done nothing. Congratulations for trying to set a good example to them and trying to break bad habits and lose weight. Now's the time to think about what kind of you life you want to live and start moving toward it.

How about taking your daughters for a walk so you'll all get exercise and spend time together? You could also start learning how to cook more healthily and teach the girls to cook at the same time. They could do research online for low calorie, healthy recipes, and you all could put together a cookbook. I learned to make jewelry four years ago and love it. Buying beads is addictive, though, and you can end up spending a lot of money if you can't control yourself. Might be fun for the three of you to do together and maybe you could all sell at craft shows for some extra income once in a while. I saw some adorable tiny crocheted animals recently that are supposedly very simple. Google amigurumi. Your girls might enjoy it, too.

I think you should also bite the bullet and try to stop smoking. If not for yourself, do it for your girls. I'm sure you wouldn't want them to start. It may be hard to do all this at first, but I have a feeling that you're really motivated to move forward. You will feel so much better physically and will be so proud of yourself.

Good luck on creating a whole new you!

Hey S., I recommend filling the void with new relationships. Maybe joining some type of group would help, exercise class, going to a church of some sort, support group for people going through divorce, book club, something that will provide you with new connections. I think that is a key to healing from such devastating pain. I know time constraints might make this extremely difficult but if you can somehow pull it off I think it might help.

Best of luck!
Kerstin

Divorce is the worst...it's like going through a death.........and it takes time and a decision to be happy and realizing that you and your girls deserve better!! I posted another answer about a few things that got me through mine, if you want to check it out.

Just an idea, if you can find the time!!!…….as far as a hobby……..I just joined a photography club…..ours is hobby based and a lot of the members only have little point and shoot cameras……..It’s fun getting to know a different group of people and it gives you a reason to get out and WALK……looking for photo opportunities!!!

As far as exercise......most of the time treadmills just end up being a closet for your clothes to hang on.....and they are expensive!! There are a ton of exercise DVD’s at the library and even just putting on a CD and dancing with your girls will burn up calories!!

Wish you the best!!!

I agree with those who recommend finding some activity to keep you busy. If you're doing something like knitting or scrapbooking, or playing Wii :) or taking your kids to museums/parks/etc you'll find less time to snack. I don't think buying a threadmill is a good solution for most people. They really do end up collecting dust and becoming another place to hang clothes. I think the first step is to find something to do that you really enjoy doing. Then maybe find someone to walk with when it starts getting nicer outside It can be a neighbor, your kids, whoever. It really helps keep you motivated if you have a walking buddy. Good luck to you!!!

One thing that helped me get through my divorce and the subsequent years of "just" being Corey's mommy (wonderful as that is, it wasn't the only identity I'd had once upon a time) was to find a way to be useful to someone else. In my case it meant going through literacy training and volunteering at the library for about an hour a week... plus maybe 30 minutes of prep time. It helped take the focus off of myself, which is exactly what I needed.

As for the treadmill, first I would commit to going for walks in the neighborhood. Once you've established a routine it makes more sense to commit the money. I had a lovely treadmill that rapidly became a place to store coats and backpacks.

Hang in there. I got through my rough spot and I know you'll come out on the other side, too.

First of all - tell yourself that you WILL get through this (and so will your girls). What you and your girls want and need most right now is probably LOVE and knowing that it will all be Okay. You can give and receive that from eachother! I agree that the Wii Fit would be a great idea, as it will bring y'all together and keep all of you healthy and active at the same time. Walks are great too, and can be a great bonding time (of course it's probably cold right now). During my divorce, I plunged myself into church. Everyone was very accepting. I did not have a child at the time, but my church did have great childcare during Sunday and Wednesday services, as well as Thurs evening Biblestudies. I think volunteering is a great idea too. Perhaps ask the girls things they've always wanted to do, make a list, and try to do one each week IE: snowball fight, the zoo, love on anmals at the local shelter. Play games (hide and go seek, Scrabble) when you can. Laughing with the girls will give you life and make you smile and you'll remember that you need to be their mom and love them and take care of them, and that overeating and smoking won't show them that you're the strong confident woman that they need you to be. At work, keep a picture of them at your desk to help THEM be your reminders to not snack. I think, going back to the weighloss issue, that a combo of being active with the girls plus trying to eat better will be better than spending money on a treadmill. Here's a link too: http://www.wikihow.com/Exercise-While-Sitting-at-Your-Com... . I googled "exercise while at your desk" to find it. Any movement will help burn calories! Good luck. You can do it!

Make food better choices - rather than grabbing the cookie - make a ton of chicken and slice it up and put it in baggies. Then when you are wanting to grab something quick you grab protein! As far as working out - put in front of tv so then you can watch your family shoes while you are working out! Good luck.

Keeping your hands busy would be a great start. It's good to know (and show your kids) that you can learn something new at any age. It's a big part in recreating yourself, building your self esteem, and rising from the ashes of a past that has burnt itself out. I started learning Pysanky last year (Ukrainian Easter Eggs). It's easy to blow out the eggs and it could be fun to do with your kids, too. It takes patience, but you can make some beautiful eggs.
Here are a few sites to check out:
http://www.learnpysanky.com
http://www.ukrainiangiftshop.com
http://www.allthingsukrainian.com/Class/PysankyTips.html
http://www.waynesthisandthat.com/ukeggs.htm

I would suggest a Wii and the Wii fit plus, a lot more fun than the treadmill and your girls will enjoy it also.

I would try a new eating plan first. Buying a peice of exercise equipment is expensive, and most people I know that have them say they turn into a wasted peice of furniture before long, or a play to stack things. Its really easy to find reasons not to use them when they're in your home. Try the south beach diet book, I lost 7 pounds the first week, and my husband is on his 4th weeks has lost 26!! It's an informative book as well as diet plan. It's not crazy restrictive, and it teaches you better ways to eat permanently, not just diet. Good luck!

Spend the money on a wii instead! You can get wii fit or dance dance revolution and have fun with your kids, too.

My son and I volunteer at our animal shelter together. It's fun, and it's great time together. We walk dogs - good exercise.

For hobbies, sounds like you need something to keep your hands busy. You could try scrapbooking, embroidery or crochet, etc. If you live near a fabric store, they always have classes on different types of needlework and sewing if that interests you. Yarn stores have knitting classes and groups.

Best wishes to you and your children.

Do you know how to knit or crochet? Are you a good writer (creative writing) or are you an avid reader? If you know how to knit or crochet, or even needle point, start doing those when you are home with your girls while you're watching television or something. If you like to read, join a book club, if you like to do creative writing, start scribbling little stories; that's what I do. Then, pick one day a week and have your mom or a friend watch the kids and you go out and either go to lunch or dinner or to a movie. I also do a lot of community service with some friends which is a great thing to do and teaches the kids something about how important giving back is. Good luck!