New Baby - Midland,TX

My son was 20 months old when his sister arrived! So I know what you are going through. All you can do is talk to him about what it'll be like when baby comes. There is a Berenstain (sp?) Bears book called The Birds and Bees which talks about having a new baby in the house. This may help. Play up the role of big brother. Have family help dote on him. Be patient when he starts to act out. My son, it seemed, would wait until my daughter got a good latch on me then would decide to jump on the couch, pull off his diaper, etc! Believe it or not, we had a harder time convincing the dog!

I just had our second son and my first son was 15 months old. We started 4 months out with an inexpensive (and age appropriate) doll from Wal-Mart - something small enough for him to hold. We reacted positively and with excitement about the doll as we showed him how to "love the baby" (hugging and holding), how to "be gentle" while touching the baby and how to "give kisses" to the baby. He also learned to tap my belly when we asked him where the baby was - he seemed to understand on some level. With your son being a little older, he will probably learn more quickly and can be taught how to help wash the baby, change the baby, etc.

This not only prepared my son for the physical presence of the new baby, but also some of the activities he'd see, including seeing mom and dad holding the new baby all the time! We have always referred to our second son as "your baby" to give him a sense of ownership.

Our second baby is now a month old and my first son is enamored with him! Right after he was born, my 15 month old immediately leaned in to give him a kiss on the head. Now the first thing he asks when he wakes up is "baby?" and he makes the ASL sign for baby. I tell him where his baby is and tell him about/involve him in our activities - nursing, dressing, etc. He's allowed to choose which outfit to put on and we snuggle and read a book when the baby nurses. He wants to give his brother kisses all the time and he's very concerned about him when he cries - so much so that he'll come tell me "baby" if he hears the baby crying from his bassinet, or he tries to put the baby's pacifier back in his mouth if it's fallen out and the baby is within reach.

At your son's age, you might even look for a book like "I'm a Big Brother" or "We Have a New Baby" to start reading to him to prepare him. You might also want to have him help pick out a toy to give his baby brother when he's born.

I believe the more you involve your older son, and the more ownership he feels about the new baby, the more excited and accepting he'll be.

Best wishes and congratulations to you!

Cryatal,
let your son help you with the baby when he comes. My daughter is now 4 weeks old and my 4 yr old and 2 yr helps me out alot. I have all girls. The oldest ones brigns me diapers and wipes and trys to help me get there new siste4r a bath and put her clothes on her, I also let them hold the baby too...

My boys are 18 months apart, so I understand your concern. We talked to him about his brother the whole time I was pregnant and when his brother was born, he was excited and happy. There wasn't really an adjustment period for him (just us, haha). I would, however, be watchful and not leave them alone together. Toddlers don't know their own strength. Also, we have found that our now 2 year old is getting more resentful of baby brother. I think that he has figured out that he isn't going back to the hospital.

we told our son, who was that age when brother was born, that the baby was his baby. of course we didn't allow him to carry him or play to ruff, but he could hold the bottle w/our supervision, get a diaper and wipes, and just feel included. also, we always made a point of paying attention to him when guests would come over and ga ga over the baby. and we have always emphasized what a good big brother he is. good luck, i'm sure it will all go great.

My son was 16 months old when my new one was born. I made sure he had a doll of his own (thanks to granda) and would get him to play with it when I could. When my daughter was born I just made sure I included him in everything I did. He loves to take diapers to the trash, get me the wipes, shake bottles and hold on to diapers. He has been such a little man these past four months. He even tries to protect her. I just make sure that he is included in all that I do with her and even with his older sister (4 1/2 yrs old) and have never had him be jealous or ugly to the baby-just rambunctious, from time to time. I don't think you can really prepare them when they're this little.

Oh my god girl i went throught the same thing i cried for a whole week, because i couldnt hold both my babies because of my c- section. Anyways my 16 month old didnt know why she was here or what it meant. But he started getting used to her after a while. Just pay attention to your 20 month old as much as you can. It will be ok. Just becarefull cause they dont know how rough they can be with the newborn.

Well my girls are 13 months apart. My baby came a little early so yeah it was like having twins except not.
We had a stash of wrapped presents so when people came over with gifts for the baby we would go and get one w/out her see and tell my family/friends to give it to her too. People get into the baby so much they often forget.
Make/buy him an I'm a big brother.
Talk to him about the baby.
Whenever you have time (guest come over to help, baby's asleep, your husband is watching the baby) spend it with him.
Let him help with the baby getting diaper, putting on his socks. When I was nursing the baby my other daughter would rub or pat the baby. As she grew older we sat down on the floor while I nursed and did puzzle, colored, read or something just to spend a little quite time together. Or I just hold her and gave her love- kisses and hugs.
Also my husband was great. He stay with me until the baby was three months old so I was well adjusted and we had a schedule. I did get very emotional when he left but it was for the best.
What else: I felt/feel guilty all the time so don't let it get to you and remember take care of yourself.
Hope this helps,
L.

Congratulations to you and the whole family. I am 24 years old and have two wonderful children they are exactly 13 months ten days apart my youngest came two months early. They are now 3 and 4 years old. My daughter was only 13 months old when her little brother came into the world. Even though she was so young we took her to wal-mart and Toys-r-us to find the baby something from her to him after he was born. I think we ended up getting stuff for her too but, when he was born my parents helped her wrap up the gift and bring it to the hospital. We let her unwrap it for the baby and then we had a present in the baby's cart for her from the baby. She was very young at the time but, she still has the pitcures of her with the teddy and blanket her baby brother gave her and the teddy and blanket she gave the baby. They both still have the teddys and blankets to this day. After we brought the baby home we let her help us and she ended up going around saying "You oh right baby and going to check on him everytime he made a peep.
God Bless and I hope this helps you out!
E.

Our sons are 18 months apart. We found that spending some time alone with our oldest, together as a threesome and alternating one on one time, help some. Just remember that a new person in the house was a BIG change for everyone helped us too:)