We've had both a 2008 and now a 2011 Honda Pilot. They're really nice and seat 8 well, but there are draw backs. We got a 2010 that was a lemon and had to fight to get the 2011. They made some changes from 2008 that have made the transmission not as smooth in an attempt to increase gas mileage, and it didn't help other than to make it pretty rough on some gear changes.
Before you make a decision, take into consideration that not all back seats are the same. The ability to put 3 car seats across is really dependent on where the latches for the car seats are located. My husband had a Chevy Lumina as a company car vs. my 2008 Taurus (also a former company car). My car was MUCH bigger and had a really big back seat, but when the 2 car seats were in the back, he had more room because of how the latches were situated.
If you have the 3rd row up, you'll lose almost all ability to have cargo in the car. In that case, I'd recommend a minivan instead.
However, if you're set on a SUV, I'd check out Motor Trend, Car and Driver, NADA, Kelley Blue Book, Edmunds and do side-by-side comparisons + reviews.
We had a 2006 Pathfinder (yes, we go through MANY cars) and hated it once we got kids. It's rated very poorly, but despite being horribly ugly (in my opinion), the Ford Flex was one of the highest rated SUVs recently because of space, versatility, safety, gas mileage.
Also, I was very much against captains chairs because, if you did need the 3rd row stowed, you are stuck with seating for only 2 people, not 3. We looked at the Acadia, with that option, and it's great for my parent's Enclave since they have mostly adult passengers, not so good for kids.
My last piece of advice is to take the car seats, put them in the vehicle, and see how easy it is to get babies, kids in and out of car seats. The Pilot is much easier than the Pathfinder. One thing I don't like about SUV's, though, as kids get more independent is that they're much more prone to open the car door into things vs. the sliding doors of a minivan that make getting in and out much easier.