New Mom Again Seeking Advice on 13 Week Old Sleeping at Night

Hi Jackie
I have a 1, 2 and 3, year old and they have all been great sleepers since they were infants. You have to read "Healthy Sleep Habits for a Happy Baby." by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. You have to follow his instructions and you will not regret it. He describes sleep as, "brain food," and that is what made me stick to it.
Good Luck
E.

You can definitely move your baby into the crib in his own room. Lots of times, even now when my daughter is 9 months old, she wakes up and maybe cries or makes some noise and then she goes right back to sleep on her own within a few minutes. If your son can't see you, maybe he will be able to go back to sleep on his own. Plus, I found myself able to sleep better without her in the room because then I couldn't hear her scooting around all night. We moved her into her own room at 4 weeks of age.

I'm not sure how big your baby is at this point, but is he "big" enough to sleep longer without eating? My daughter wasn't physically big enough to drink enough to sleep more than 3.5 hours at a time until she was about 9 months.

My pediatrician said that cereal wouldn't help with sleeping more so I didn't try it.

Congratulations

At about 13 weeks, this is normal. If you swaddle and had not before, change his room or his routine, it may work against you. He is still a baby and they are all different. Some children sleep for 8 hours straight right out of the womb but most don't and they grow and change at their own pace. You know this. At 13 weeks he is probably ready for his crib but there may be a transition stage involved that could cost you some nights of sleep....or not. If you want to try the crib do so, but don't do so assuming that it will make him sleep through the night.

I wouldn't advocate cereal in the bottle, especially at 13 weeks because it's a choaking hazzard. I especially wouldn't do it if you have him in another room!!!

It sounds like you are very tired and ready to try anything. Call Birthways 888.506.0607 or look them up on-line at www.birthwaysinc.com and get a doula for a night ot two a week while you make the transition to the crib in his room. This way you get a good nights sleep, a professional is caring for your child who has experience with sleep issues and you can get over the hump. Honestly, twice a night at 13 weeks isn't bad, once is better but you're almost there. But if you get up at 5:15 I can see why you're ready to try other options.

Good Luck,
L.

I must say that I disagree with the previous poster. For many reasons, a 12-week old should not sleep for 12 hours straight. For one, it should not go that long without food. 3.5 to 4 hours is very good, especially if you are breastfeeding. I would not put cereal in his bottle, either. Your co-sleeping helps, I'm sure. He'll be much more wakeful sleeping alone in another room. Hang in there. This is pretty good, and it will get better.
Amy

3 1/2 to 4 hours is great for that age. My 10 month old daughter just starting sleeping through the night 7:30-5:30. My oldest daughter, who suffered from reflux didn't sleep through the night until 11 months.

Try to remember that this stage is just a season and will pass quickly-before you now it and you will miss the baby stage.
K.

Congrats at being a new mom again. I too, was givin a gift from God when we had our third child 2 1/2 yrs ago. We have an 18yo, 17 yo and then our 2 1/2 yr old. Talk about remembering when, when alot of times, i felt like i was a first time mom, my infant was nothing like my older two when they were little. How time flies !!!

If you ever want to talk.... my email is ____@____.com

I would try the cereal it won't hurt. Both of my kids were you bigger than average and the formula wasn't cutting it for them. I gave my son cereal at 1 1/2 months and started my daughter at 3 months(she had reflux) and the cereal helped keep the formula down for her. Try it the worse that will happen is it won't do anything for him. My daughter is now 18 months and at 1 year just started sleeping through the night so I know how you feel. Try the crib for a few nights and see if it works. Try a bunch of things, at this point it's all about sleep and sanity.

Jackie,
Dr. Weissbluth is our pediatrician and to save you the time of reading his book, which I've heard is very confusing, here is the scoop. Your son should be in bed with lights off at 7pm. Soothe him until he is drowsy - if you have to start at 6 so be it. The theory is that if you put him to bed before he is tired, he gets better sleep and is able to sleep longer. The first couple nights, and every once in awhile after that, he may cry for awhile (and you might too), but then he learns that he doesn't need you to settle down all the time. He most likely will still wake up in the night, but he might put himself right back to sleep too if you give him a couple minutes. It has also helped our 7 month old daughter go back to bed on her own after she wakes up for night feedings. The whole concept seemed kind of contradictory, but an exhausted parent is willing to try anything - and we found it actually worked!!!
B.

Jackie,
My son didn't sleep though the night until 7 months. At that point I satrted looking for literature on the subject and found The Contented Little Baby Book by Gina Ford. I only wish I would have had it sooner!! Maybe it will help give you the peace it gave me. Good luck!

Jackie,
What helped with my son is that I started a bedtime ritual with him at 6 weeks. By 10 weeks, he was sleeping through the night (not the 12 hours like he does now, but a good 7 or 8) I started my son in his crib the first day he came home because my husband is such a light sleeper. If you haven't already gotten Dr. Marc Wiessbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" book, then I definitely recommend it. My son is 17 months old now and I swear that he is a happy, well rested child because of the guidance the book gave me, and I never had him "cry it out", though your little guy is way too young for that. Hope that helps!

My advice would be to put your baby in his crib to sleep at night. He will cry quite a bit at first (go in and comfort after 15/20 minutes of crying), but in the long run he will get used to it and learn to soothe himself to sleep which will result in a longer more peaceful rest. This worked with both my 3 year old and my 2 month old. The sooner they learn to put themselves to sleep, the better it is. Also, if you are breastfeeding, expect to still get up in the night to feed a hungry baby. Your baby is still very young and needs to feed a couple times in the night.

I agree with the last one you may want to move up his bedtime I was told at that age that they need 16-20 hours of sleep a day. The ped recommended not putting cereal in a bottle unless the child has reflux due to the breathing and sucking thing as they can get cereal in their lungs and then cause breathing problems. She also did not recommend cereal before 4 months old for allergy purposes. Not all babies sleep through the night, mine did not until she was 6 months old. Then we moved her to her own room and crib so that our movment would not wake her. We also increased the before bed bottle from 4oz to 6oz so she would have more in her tummy to sustain her longer. At three months our schedule was 8:00pm bed time, she slept until about 12-1 took a bottle then slept until 4-5 took a bottle slept until 8-9 took a bottle was up for a couple till 11 then took a bottle slept till 1ish, was up till 4 took a bottle and slept till 6ish and was back in bed at 8. All babies are different though but a consistant schedule is important. I hope that this helps.

How much formula is your son drinking currently? Once they go over 36 oz a day you can give them cereal, because that's showing they are too hungry. I never gave it to them in the bottle, but both my boys were about 11 weeks old when they did that.. I fed it to them on a spoon and they slept much better. OF course, they WERE sleeping thru the night and then started waking up around that time because they were still hungry. I believe I gave it to them twice a day at that point. Breakfast and dinner. Maybe about 2 tblspoons of dry cereal mixed with formula or water...

Also, are you sure he's not overtired at 9:15? that could cause him to not fall into a deep sleep. Though I sort of remember my kids going to be a bit later when they were that young... but it's an idea for you to consider. =)

Hope you get some sleep soon!

You should read how to get your 12 week old to sleep 12 hours.. it a quick easy book to read.. and any time your are ready to put him in his crib is a good time...

Hope this help...

Hi Jackie,

I also am a new first time mom of a 13 week old baby girl. Personally I think it is a little soon for cereal. Not that I really think it will hurt them as much as some people would have you believe, but cereal really probably won't make that much of a difference in the baby's hunger. I have to say that in my experience (I also have been a nanny for years) my daughter sleeps much better in her own room. She still sleeps in a vibrating bouncy chair (as she refuses her crib) but who cares as long as I get some sleep at night! She eats every 3 to 3 and a half hours during the day and usually drifts off to sleep after her 8 o'clock bottle. I always then wake her at 10:30ish and give her another bottle (somewhere between 4-6oz, change her diaper, and put her into her bouncy in her own room with the lights out and door closed (she takes a pacifier too). She goes back to sleep and then doesn't get up til about 7am. We were having the same problem with our daughter aking to feed at about 4am. I would much rather get her up before I turn in for the night then do a 4am feeding. You can still let your little one go to sleep around 7 or 8, just wake the baby again before you go to bed and feed him. If he gets up still in a couple hours try offering a pacifier or soothing back rubs, or rocking instead of offering food. Sorry this is such a novel, if you ever want to chat e-mail me at ____@____.com It would be great to talk to another mom with an infant the same age.

Oh, and just curious---how much is the baby sleeping during the day? If you take him to a sitter be sure that he is not being allowed to just sleep the day away. They need a lot of sleep but shpuld be going a couple hours at least between naps, and getting a couple short naps and a long one throughout the day. You want him to know when its time to take that really big nap at night (i.e. 8 hours for you)