My newborn (3 weeks) has moments of alertness amidst all her sleep and is pretty easygoing for the most part. However, in the evenings, she tends to have a couple of hours where she seems really unsettled and almost panicky. For example, when I'm feeding her, instead of dozing off as she usually does, she'll start bobbing around, pulling on and off the nipple (ouch) and frantically sucking on anything else she can find (her arm, my belly, my breast right next to the nipple). I usually take her off the breast and switch positions then, which might calm her down temporarily, until she starts bobbing around on my neck. She will often act like she wants more food, but I think she really wants something to suck on, as she sometimes seems to eat too much and will throw up. So we try giving her a finger to suck on, and switch positions, and burp her and change her positions until eventually she falls asleep.
I'm wondering if any of you have seen a baby do this and if you know why? I can't figure out if it's gas, over-stimulation, or just an end of the day thing? My midwife said when babies do this they are frustrated, but if that is true, then how can we ease her frustration? Can we do anything beyond what we're doing to make it better? The panicky part really can be so heart breaking. I'd love some thoughts.
Thanks everyone for the advice and reassurance. It really helped to know this was common and not something we were doing. It's clear in retrospect that she was just winding down from her day (she slept so much at 3 weeks it was hard to see that she needed that) and/or not enjoying sunset, which my dr. says is very common in infants (and the elderly) - they get anxious when the sun goes down. So your advice helped us turn our focus to comforting her rather than frantically worrying about what was wrong. She is now 9 weeks and she is much better at night - less full on screaming, usually only for 5 or 10 minutes. Thanks again!
Have you tried swaddling her? That seems to work a lot with my 2 1/2 month old son or if it is to hot I try and hold his hands midline (right at his chest area) and that seems to work to calm him down or we try and take a break for a few mins. with a pacifier.
Would you want to try a pacifier to see if that calms her down? if you are not one to use one normally..just try it at this one time of the evening and see if she can calm down.
my baby did the exact same thing (head bobbing, fussing, panicky cries)! it's normal and it will pass. A lot of moms think their babies aren't getting enough food in the evenings because of this behavior, but I think evenings are just universal fussy baby time. if I remember correctly, nothing, not food, swaddling, pacifier, or rocking worked. She just had to get some good hard cries out before falling asleep.
My son who is now 3 months did the same thing. I put him on the floor... Nice hard surface on a receiving blanket.. and let him fuss it out.. seems to me.. the pressure of laying on a hard surface fussing got the gas bubbles out. Cause he sounded like a full grown adult.. LOL.. after that which usually took about 20 minutes he would latch on and eat with no more irrability. Hope this helps! Best of luck.. Anymore questions please feel free to email me.
Hi S.,
My baby did the exact same thing (head bobbing, sucking on everything, nursing too much and then throwing up, etc) It's all very normal and will pass in a few weeks. Don't be surprised to hear lots of grunting as well. I found the pacifier at least helped with her sucking urge and was able to relax her a little. Try the Miracle Blanket as a swaddle- it worked while my baby was in the newborn to 8 week stage (they are a little pricey but worth it). Good luck!!
Hi S.,
Reading your email and switching the pronouns, we could have been the same person. I also have a three-week old and except that he definitely does not overeed and spit up, we've got the same problems. My midwives recommended swaddling. He hates it for the first few seconds, but then settles and feeds much better. Then he either falls asleep or starts to wake and complains for me to let him out of the swaddle (which I do). I feel your pain. Really. Good luck with yours!
Hello,
I have a 2 month old. When I was breast feeding for the first three weeks she would do the same thing. It is do to frustration from being hungry and tired. Try singing to your baby are rocking at the same time you are feeding. This might help.
Angie
Hi, I have a 3 year old and a 21/2 week old. My newborn does the same thing (mostly at night) and usually it's b/c he needs a good burping, or has gas. I think b/c he's laying down he is more apt to be filling with air or something. Try laying your little one down on your chest and (you)lay back in a reclined, but sitting up position. Pat her back to burp her and if she burps once - keep burping her (alternate between patting and rubbing her back). If she starts to fuss - try putting her back to breast. Also, really watch what you're eating. I'm finding with my little guy that nearly all raw vegetables make him gassy, although it wasn't such an issue with my daughter.
good luck.
p.s. a fresh swaddle after a good burp seems to help sometimes too!
S.,
Most babies have an hour or 2 in the evening when they get really fussy for apparently no reason. it is hard and frustrating because most of the time there is not a lot that you can do to get them to calm down and go to sleep. She is probably not panicky. There are two things I did with my daughter when she was like that. I would swaddle her and just bounce her up and down and if that didn't work I would put her in a sling. There are some great slings out there. You can go to naturallovingembrace.com and go to the products section. There are some great slings there. I have the sling ezee and love it and I'm waiting on my Karma baby pocket sling. The Ergo isn't a sling, but it's a great fron, side or back carrier. I also have that and my daughter (who is 6 months) always falls asleep in it while I do things around the house. I wish you luck.
We used to call this the bewitching hour. it's a phase and will pass. just try to comfort her and get thru it.. you can try a pacifier if she wants to suck, but doesn't want food.. she may need some soothing.. massage her or even put her in a warm tub.
Congratulations on your new daughter!! If you think she is looking for something to suck on, but not to eat, then go with that. We let ours suck on a finger, he eventually took a pacifier. Also, he would be very comforted by nursing the hind milk. If your milk production is really good, she might not be getting that. You could try pumping / expressing before you nurse. You could keep the milk in the freezer for up to a year in case you needed it.
Also, we found that with both our boys, the late afternoon/early evening was a difficult time for them. They could not be comforted. It was very difficult for all of us, but it got better. A lot better. :)
Good Luck!
From my experience (and from talking to other mommy friends), evenings can be tough for a lot of kids. It's often called the "witching hours" because babies tend to get more fussy, those who nurse want to nurse more, etc. So that's part of what could be going on.
Maybe the baby needs an earlier bedtime too...just a thought.
It also sounds like it may very well be gas. My daughter (6 1/2 months) often comes off the breast abruptly or kicks around or flails on the boob - then I pick her up and she lets out a huge burb and is able to settle back into nursing.
Best of luck!
Are you swaddling her? When my little guy was that age, I swaddled him a lot, and it really helped him to settle. Sometimes that is just soothing enough to let a baby relax and eat or fall asleep.
Hi S.,
This is totally normal. In fact, I have a 6 week old who has been going through this, too, but seems to be getting better, and I was just reading today that this is caused by "a temporarily uninhibited nervous system that causes excessive arousal." This phase will pass around six weeks or so as the baby's brain matures. I've had seven, and they all went through this. It took me until number seven to find out that it's just a phase! So rest assured, it's nothing you're doing. I've found that I just have to not plan on getting anything done at night, so I can just hold her and soothe her. She likes to be held when she's like this, and I also find that I need to keep switching positions. Your presence will keep baby feeling secure, even though it may not seem like it.
I have a little one as well and he does the same thing. I introduced the paci which helped but now we're dealing with him crying everytime the paci falls out. I'm looking forward to seeing the responses to see if there's something that I haven't yet tried.
I would try swaddling her. My son went through a phase like that only he did he all night so it would keep him awake. He typically wasn't a fan of being swaddled but when he would have these episodes, swaddling him was the only way we could get him to sleep.
Hi S.
Evenings are naturally times when kids are the neediest. It's a combination of overstimulation from the day and exhaustion. Even the smallest of babies can go through it. It usually happens around dinner time. Kids are trying to get attention, are hungry and are just plain old tired but not ready for bed. If you or your husband work you know how hectic it can get when you get home from work, need to get something started for dinner, have a pile of mail to go through, and are thinking about the pile of laundry that needs to be done, etc. Then you throw kids into the mix and it's melt down time. Maybe changing the atmosphere in the room where you are with her at that time...lowering the lights, putting on some soothing music, swaddling her anything that can signal to her that it's time to settle in and calm down. This can also be the start to a great bed time routine when she's old enough.
My son was a very 'high-needs' baby & that 'bewiching hour' was really dreadful for a long time. We found that just swaddling wasn't enough--what worked best (when nursing was not it) was the sling (like having the baby swaddled against you) & movement. I would dance around the living room or bundle us both up--winter baby--and walk around the block a few times. Hard to do at the end of an exhausting day, but it really settled him. Then he could nurse calmly (still in the sling) and fall asleep. We used the Maya wrap because it's super adjustable & on tough days my little one almost lived in it. The sling takes a few tries to get going, & some babies don't like it at first--the trick is to start moving the minute you tuck her in it. Good luck with everything.
My oldest did something similar. I learned much later that it was a symptom of acid reflux. I wish I had known earlier. It was extremely hard to breastfeed her. She'd pull off the nipple, then be frantic to get back on. Goes along with your "she seems to eat too much and then throws up" symptom also. I'd consult a pediatrician who is familiar with acid reflux - many pediatricians don't take it seriously. Good luck!
