Newborn Sleep-- HELP!

Hello A., What you describe sounds like typical newborn behavior! To understand more about newborn sleep patterns and compassionate responses, I recommend "The No Cry Sleep Solution for Babies," by Elizabeth Pantley.

His patterns will keep changing. Hang in there!

~T.

He's only two weeks old! It takes a while to adjust to new sleeping schedules for anyone. I know it's really frustrating, but just give it time, keep doing what you are doing and you will see results. Mostly just give it time!

It's perfectly normal for him to do what he's doing. A lot of babies to that. I think it's too early to try to keep him awake or "train" him. Just give it a little time and he'll probably reverse it on his own. I know it's not what you want to hear right now, but tiny babies are always going to keep you up at night somehow. It comes with the territory.

You may already be doing this... With my first son I had to make sure there was a lot of sunlight in the rooms we were in during the day, and things going for stimulation like upbeat music, etc. While at night making sure there was only a night light on, very calm and soothing music turned down low, etc., making sure to not turn anything on just to feed him or change his diaper. Didn't talk to him at night... staying very quiet myself. I also used the heartbeat sound at night. I hope something there helps! You must be so tired!

This is such a hard one, my first born was the same way, and I like you tried all the "tricks" out there. In the end I just had to wait it out and continue pushing on, I believe it took about a month before he finally had it figured out. They do learn the difference. One suggestion I got and I am not sure from who I got it, was to make sure that the house was always bright during the day, and to try to keep it as noisy as possible, then do the opposite at night. I can't say that it made a difference but I did follow that rule of thumb, might be worth a try!

I have 3 boys and can remember the newborn days...Being just a couple weeks old, your still is on an in-utero schedule
--typically an unborn baby will be lulled to sleep most of our waking hours due to the rocking motion, and at night most unborn wake up and play and kick around, leaving the moms unrested....give it time, and slowly instil a rhythm of regular feedings and naps/quiet times and this should resolve itself. Best to not stress about it and enjoy this bundle of restless joy. Congrats!
A.

My newborn was like this too. A couple of things that helped me were: I made sure to expose him to sunlight first thing in the morning, just by opening the blinds, and play with him. And when he gets up at night keep everything as dark as you can, feed him ,and put him right back to bed. Newborns sometimes eat every two hours at night for the first month or so. Give him some time, he'll turn it around. In the meantime, try to nap when he does during the day for some sanity. Good luck!

That is pretty normal for that age... sorry! It stinks! But it does not have to last long. Read the book "On Becoming Babywise" and if you follow the directions in that book your baby will be sleeping through the night in about a month! We read it when my baby was two weeks and started the method then... and she was sleeping all the way through the night without waking up by 7 weeks! It was so nice for both of us to get the sleep that we needed, and everyone always commented on what a happy and easy baby she was... but it was just because she was on a great sleep and eating schedule. A bunch of my friends have also used it and have had great success! Good luck!

I'd like to recommend a research-based book about baby's sleep habits/needs (few of these books are research-based and mostly turn out to be fluff). The only great research-based book I know about is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." You don't have to take all the recommendations hook, line and sinker (I don't), but it will give you a good idea about the sleep habits/needs of children at various ages. I highly recommend it.

I suggest you let him sleep during the day when he wants to and take a nice long nap yourself. He'll straighten out his schedule by himself and in the meantime you will be rested enough to handle a newborn. Good luck, hope you aren't trying to work too.

My son was under 5lbs. at birth and the doctor wanted me to wake him at 2am for feeding even though the poor kid was trying to sleep. Fortunately that only lasted a couple of nights since I was falling asleep and he was too.

Not to worry. I know it seems impossible now, but hang in there and he will get turned around to the right time of day soon. I do suggest getting a book called "Baby Wise". This is a book all about getting your child into a healthy sleep pattern. (And also is research based. It is much like Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child) I have 2 kids and this saved my life!

I feel your pain- my little one is just 4 weeks and has all of the sudden started to be up at night. For his first 2.5 weeks he was sleeping really well only up 2 a night now it is every 1.5 to 2 hours. He loves to sleep in the day and I too am a bit worried that he is confused. I have now read 3 books that all say until 6 weeks you have to roll with the baby and then you can work with them. I talked with my doctor about it as well and she did say taht at 4 weeks you can let them fuss for up to 10 minutes to learn some self soothing.

Good Luck!
S.

My mother in law had all of her children in Germany and back in those days, the nurses would feed the babies water at night when they woke up and let them cry themsleves back to sleep-I just thought that was very interesting.

I woke my baby up to feed him during the day. I made sure he ate every 3 hours. I regret doing this b/c the whole point was for me to get some sleep at night. But if you think about it, if you are up all day trying to keep him awake, and also up all night b/c your baby is up all night, when do YOU get to sleep? Marc Weisbluth (a well known Pediatrician) in his book "Healthy Sleep Habits: Happy Child" explains that infants start sleeping longer during the night time (b/w 4-6 hours) on their own b/c of physiological processes that occur in the baby at around 6 weeks of age. He goes on to explain the physiology behind this. So my suggestion to you is to love your baby and sleep when your baby sleeps so that you don't feel so sleep deprived. The only time I would recommend waking a baby for feedings is if they are not gaining enough weight.

Also, the lack of sleep that I was getting was seriously attributing to my postpartum baby blues. Once 4pm hit I would break down into tears every day for like a month. My advice to you is let nature take its course (b/c believe it or not your baby will start sleeping longer at night) and sleep when ever your baby does.

Oh... I tried Baby Wise and it didn't work for my baby-how do you get your baby on a routine when they wake up every 30 min's into their naps? I don't think Baby Wise is for every baby. So do what works for you and your baby.

My baby was like that in the beginning as well. It is really normal for babies to get their days and nights mixed up in the beginning. As he gets older and is awake more during the day he'll start sleeping longer through the night. Be patient, it will happen. They are just so confused in the beginning, but it does get better.
Good luck!

Oh, we went through that too! It's so hard when they confuse day and night. I don't have the best advice cause we just kinda went with it and after a while, he figured out the day and night thing. It was hard for the first while though. And I'll admit something...when we finally went against the books and put him on his belly, he slept at night! Yikes!

According to many things I have read, your newborn needs at least 16 hours of sleep. Sleep is the time when their growth and development is occurring. You could think of it as hard now for a great pay off later since he is sleeping so much. So basically, I would let him sleep, he needs it. My son is 4.5 months old and he still wakes up two to three times at night. I recommend the book "sweet dreams" I believe the author is Fleiss. Above all trust your instincts. Good luck!

This could go on for months. My best recommendation is, if you can, take naps during the day when he naps. Some babies do great at night and others continue to have difficulty for months. One of the first trials of motherhood is getting enough sleep! Have fun and good luck!
S.

I went through the same thing with my son. Trying to keep to a routine helps. It eventually passed but it was definitley hard on everyone. Don't be discouraged if you don't see results right away. It takes them awhile to adjsut.

Have you tried the Baby Wise book? It saved our lives!! We didn't start it until our 2nd son was 4 weeks old and he was sleeping the entire night by 7 weeks old. We started at about week 2 for our 3rd son and it took him awhile longer to actually sleep all night but with the schedule it was easier for him to sleep on a better schedule. I wish I had heard about this before our 1st son as he didn't sleep thru the night for over a year. Good luck.

i hope this helps,
i have a 4 onth old son who had the same problem! the advice i was given was to make sure when he sleeps during the day to make sure it is light in the room and there is light noise. then when it is bed time to make sure it is dark and no noise. it should only take a few days maybe a week to get adjusted. and i was also told that when they sleep during the day not to wake them up depriving them during the day wont help at night. there is a book called healthy sleep habits happy child, it is very very good!!! helps with ALL sleep problems.
best of luck!

A.,

I have the perfect thing, IF you are willing to try it. My Husband and I were about to lose our minds with the lack of sleep. Desparate, we talked to our pediatrician who told us to pick a time that you want you child to sleep, (eg. 8pm) whatever works for you. Before that time feed your baby extra well, change him, snuggle him for a while and then put him down for 8 hours. He may cry for hours, but after a day or two of this there should be some improvement. With our kids it took one night of this and they were on the schedule from there on out. It was very hard on me but well worth the outcome. Good Luck!!!

K. P.

I agree with Dellacvalk V and Michelle W! Nap when the baby does. Keep nighttime dark and quiet and he'll get the hang of it. But until then don't beat yourself up trying to keep him on a schedule-nurse him when he wants to nurse, let him sleep when he wants to sleep. Relax and enjoy your baby-you will look back and be shocked at how fast they grow and change.

Maybe you could really emphasize the lighting difference so that the baby's internal clock gets straightened out. Have the baby out in the sun during the day. Then in the evening have only essential lights on. At night try to get it as dark as possible - cover up clocks & windows.

The first six weeks or so are exhausting because babies want to eat every couple of hours. I would let him sleep when he wants to sleep during the night and day. You can begin working on fixing the days and nights around six weeks. He's only two weeks old and needs to sleep when he wants to.

Personally, I wouldn't do the doc recommendation. If you let him sleep during the day until he wakes up, he will probably stay awake for longer periods of time. You may be waring him out. He's too young to wean off the feedings at night or to try to get him to sleep all night through. He will work it out. As he gets older and you get into a normal routine of errands and visits and such, he will adjust to days being filled with activity and nights being quiet and for sleep.

I know your exhausted and still recovering from giving birth. You didn't say if you are breastfeeding? I breastfed and my children always fell asleep when nursing at night. So, when the baby would wake up, my husband would get up and change the baby's diaper and reswaddle the baby. Then he would hand the baby to me and I would nurse. After nursing or if the baby fell asleep, I would lay them back down in their bassenett that was right beside the bed. This way they didn't wake bed up with a changing.

If you're doing the bottle, take turns with your husband if he will do feeding. This way you get a bit more sleep.

I wouldn't try to get him on a routine of every two hours at night until he's about six weeks or so, but should you chose to go ahead, I would try the following. I would have your husband get up with the baby, change his diaper, and then rock your son until it's been two hours since the END of the last feeding, then he can hand you your son. This will get him in a routine of every two hours, rather than more often. If your son falls back to sleep with the rocking, have your husband put him back down and wait until he wakes back up. Then change his diaper and feed and put him back down.

And, the best advice ever given to me: Sleep when your son sleeps during the day and don't feel guilty about it. You will get more done when you are up and feel a lot better about everything and be to think more clearly.

I have found that my babies had a hard time with day and night confusion until they were about 4 weeks old. It sucks for us as parents but it is only temporary. I wouldn't wake him up at all during the day. He needs his rest. A great book that helped me understand my girls sleep habits in general is call "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". It was driving me nuts to be up all night but it was almost miraculous how at 4 weeks they started sleeping better at night.

Hi A.!
Wearing your son in a baby carrier can help with his getting his day/nights on the right pattern as well as help with his sleeping patterns. Sometimes these things take time, and babies don't know how to read clocks, but it will work out. Wrapping him in sling or wrap will help all aspects of his adjusting to his new world.
You can go to www.naturalchoices4baby.com for more info, and feel free to contact me with any questions that you may have.
Good luck!
H. Gaitten
____@____.com

Hi A.,
It's perfectly normal for a 2 week old to still have his days and nights backwards. Sleep when he sleeps to maintain your own sanity & try to get him to nurse as long as possible at night. The more he eats, the less he'll wake up. I did feeding on demand, rather than trying to schedule them. They eat when they're hungry, and trying to force a change is too frustrating.
Just stay the course; it wont be too long before he's awake more during the day. It just takes time.
Congratulations on your new little one! Enjoy every minute, because it's over in the blink of an eye.
God Bless!
PS Great advice from Julie C!

i also recommend babywise!! i love it!! i think you def can start trying to implement a routine right away, it will save your sanity which will make you a better mom. the baby should not be in charge, you are in charge. you need to meet his needs of course, but you can teach him the best way, he doesn't know the best way, how could he? you are the adult. read it. i am expecting twins and have 2 yr old. With twins on the way a schedule and routine is essential!! i have to believe in it and i really do. i think the best thing you can do is remember to take care of you, because a happy rested mother is the best kind of mother to her child.

I'm sorry honey but what your experiencing is pretty common 2 week old behavior! It is a hard time, but it passes by quickly. Try to sleep when he sleeps, even if it is during the day. I highly recommend Elizabeth Pantley's book The No-Cry Sleep Solution. She can help you guide your baby into being a good sleeper. You are going to have to be patient with his little tummy and it's need to be filled quite often!

It will take about 4 weeks for him to develop a pattern of days and nights. If you are breastfeeding, feed him on demand. That means he will wake up when he's hungry and then feed him. It is so hard trying to wake a baby every 2 hours ect... He'll probably wake on his own between 2 and 3 hours. I wouldn't go longer than a 4 hour stretch during the day. It is really hard to schedule a newborn, it isn't the healthiest thing for your milk supply and that baby really needs you. He has no other way of self soothing, his brain isn't wired that way yet, it won't be until he's about 1 year old. The greatest book I read for sleep suggestions with my girls was Healthy Baby Healthy Sleep Habits. I even use it with the mom's I help postpartum.

Try to sleep when he sleeps, eat well and enjoy this little guy. It gets better. :)

I had the exact same problem with my son. It is very frustrating but just know that he will adjust within the next couple of weeks. Newborns are tired! Try putting him in the sunlight by the window a few times during the day (even if he is sleeping). Don't worry...everything is so stressful as a new mom but just enjoy him and know he will adjust soon there really is nothing you can do and you probably remember him being more active in utero at night as well. Good luck and enjoy your new, wonderful, gift.

First of all,nap during the day when baby is asleep if at all possible. Second, keep the house bright and noisy during the day and dark and quiet at night so baby subconsciously feels that day is when things happen. Third, give it a little time. It usually takes three, sometimes four weeks, to break the prenatal sleep cycle. You remember that one...you walked all day, baby rocked in the uterus and slept and then stayed up all night kicking....

Your baby hasn't even been outside your womb for a month! He is still adjusting. Please let him sleep when he needs to and nurse (or feed) him whenever he needs it. He is much too little to start worrying about "scheduling" his sleeping or eating or anything. Please do not try the "Babywise" method, especially if you are breastfeeding. There are better books out there when the time comes (which will not be for many months). Try to nap when he naps so that you can get some rest, too. In the first year babies change their sleeping/awake/eating patterns often. Just enjoy your baby! They don't stay little for very long, and soon you will miss this "newborn" time.

One thing that helped me was to keep her awake for at least an hour before bedtime. I would give her a bath, tickle her face softly, whatever it took to keep her awake. Then she would sleep for at least a few hours. It is a great job for your hubby to do too, so you can start sleeping during the hour he keeps the baby awake. Just remember it is a phase and you will get some sleep eventually. :-)

I agree that you need to let him decide when and how long to nap/sleep etc...but you can help him too. When he is awake and it is during the day, play with him and make lots of noise/excitment for him, talk, sing tell stories it doesn't really matter as long as you are engaging him. Then when he is awake at night make it the exact opposite. If you need lights keep them really low, don't talk to him. Make sure that his needs are met, but do it in a way that is calm and non-engaging. Feed him, change him, whatever but do it without the interaction. Pretty soon he will no longer want to be awake at night because you don't play with him and it isn't any fun. As far as the waking him up to eat, I personally feel that is not the right approach. When a baby is hungry they will wake up to eat and it just makes it more frustrating for you to try and feed him when he isn't interested. Of my 6 kids I had one that I tried the waking them up every 2 hrs, per doc's orders, and it was just a battle for us. Good luck and congrats on the new baby!

My mother suggested to me as a new mom about the night and day difference and I have found success with all three of my children. Here are a few suggestions:

Make sure there is plenty of light during the day in your home and baby's room. Sit with baby by a window for periods of time during the day to feel the difference in the day. Other than that, I just kept baby awake through feedings as much as possible. They do need a lot of sleep as newborns.

Use a dim night light at night, but try to keep it as dark as possible at night or in the evening. I remember not talking to much or stimulating with too much touch at night.

Try your own morning and evening routine that soots you and baby well. They love routines! Try a different song or something.

Above all, my mom always reminded me to be easy on myself. Babies in the womb are used to sleeping while you rock around during the day and being awake when you try to sleep at night, whatever you do is right!

Hope it helps!

Most babies are "confused" about day and night until about 3 months old. Some take much longer--I've heard of 2 year olds still not sleeping through the night. So I guess my suggestion is to just be patient and tough out those long nights just like the rest of us. And if he's tired during the day, then let him sleep. Remember, doctors don't know everything, and not all of their advice is current and/or wise.
Also, I personally think "Babywise" is not wise at all. Newborns shouldn't be on a schedule--they should eat and sleep when THEY need to, not when it's convenient for the parent.
Hang in there! These first weeks/months of sleepless nights may seem to last forever, but they'll be over before you know it. You'll make it, just like millions of women all over the world have!

When my little girl was 2 weeks old I decided to start feeding her on a schedule. Are you nursing - if so, it becomes easier for you if you can feed your baby on both sides every 3 hours during the day. Just make sure that when it's time to nurse again you start on the same side you ended on (in case you are). If he likes to fall asleep while you're feeding, rub or tickle his back to wake him up. Colic could definitely be part of the problem. If so, there isn't too much you can do other than try to comfort him. If you need a break, just let him cry for a little while & try not to get too overwhelmed. Most importantly, sleep when he does if he won't sleep through the night. Everything else can wait, but you won't have the energy you need to take care of yourself or your baby.

Oh boy, I've been there. My first decided that 3 am was time to go to bed. He would wake up and be his most alert at about 11 pm. It was so utterly exhausting for me!
One thing I did was to discover what helped him sleep and when he was likely to sleep (3 am). I started at 2:30 and put him in his swing, and he zonked out right away. Then I moved him to his crib. The next night, I did the same thing at 2. 15 minute increments work better, because they're more gradual, but I was in a hurry and had a lot of time to make up! Each night I put him in his swing a little earlier, and each night I got a little more glorious sleep. After about 10 days, he was going to bed at 10. Not exactly the normal bedtime for babies, but I could live with it. And it turned out the best for our situation (daddy was a student, and didn't get home until 9 pm). It wasn't until baby #2 that we moved it to 9 pm.
My doctor also told me to try to keep him away during the day, but my babies were good sleepers and wouldn't wake up or would fall asleep even if I was bouncing them. I wasn't about to do anything drastic like putting a frozen can of juice concentrate on his back (which one mom suggested!)
Another thing I did was let him stay up alone. I put him in his crib, turned on the mobile, and propped up a black-and-white "poster" (I drew black and white patterns and shapes on a square of posterboard--I pinned it behind his car seat in the car, normally) for him to look at. I left a small lamp on and went to bed. He stayed interested until he fell asleep, and he didn't mind having some quiet time on his own. And I knew he was safe in his crib.

I found a book titled "Babywise" to be very helpful in establishing a schedule for my newborns. It sounds like you are doing a few of the things the book suggests. Maybe it could help you hone in on some techniques a little better. Also, give yourself some time. Your 2 week old baby is doing the same thing most 2 week olds do. Very few babys out there figure night and day out by this age.

Sleep when your baby sleeps.

At 3 months, you can start him on a schedule. 2 weeks is way too early. Also remember that a 5 hour block at some point during the night is considered 'sleeping through the night'. Your baby shouldn't go longer than that without eating until he's 3 months old.

You are going to think this is crazy, but it is an old Indian thing. My neighbor who used to live in New Mexico experienced this first hand. You do what is called flipping the baby. I don't know how it works, but it is worth a try, I think. Hold your baby upright, facing you. Then, while supporting head and neck, rotate him, head over heals, once. It doesn't have to be fast, but just do one rotation. I would be curious to know if it works for you. (I have a great way to get rid of warts, too! And it really works! I got rid of warts on my daughters face.)

Hi A.~
With your son being just over 2 weeks, I think his sleeping pattern is very normal. I'm kind of surprised your doctor recommended waking your baby during the day at his young age. Basically babies at his age know two things...eating and sleeping. Our son is almost 3 now, and he had the same habits...he was up every 90 minutes each nite for feedings. Our son did not get into a good sleeping routine until he was about 11 weeks. Eventually your son will get into a routine, but it comes with time, at least 3 months. -O, One thing our doctor did recommend was having our son nap in the "dark", don't have him nap with a lot of light in the room, otherwise he will not know when it's "sleep" time. If your son is napping in his nursery with daylight, he will think that daytime is the time to sleep and that nightime is his cue to wake up. You can buy those window shades from pottery barn kids that completely block out the sun...blackout shades. Those shades do help a great deal, so maybe that is something that you can try, but again your baby is only 2 weeks old so how is he sleeping is very normal for his age.
I would also recommend www.babycenter.com -this site helped us with so many questions, and still does :)
Good luck to you! :)
T.

It will get better, seriously! Hang in there, it is so hard the first 6 weeks, it WILL get better!

With a 2 week old baby, I agree that they are too young for schedules - or to make them cry it out. I've had three babies in the last 4 yrs., all of whom had their days & night reversed (it really is pretty typical). This is what worked for me all 3 times. I woke my baby every 2-3 hours during the day to eat. After they ate, I wouldn't try to keep them awake - I would only keep them awake long enough to finish a full feeding. Then I would keep them in a very well lit room during the day & expose them to a lot of natural light. At night I would keep the room where they slept very dark. Also at night, I would only pick them up when they cried (not just fussed), and I would soothe them with a pacifier or by just holding them if it had been less that 2 to 2-1/2 hrs. since the last time they ate. During the night, I would also only change their diapers if they were poopy. Within about a week of doing this, all three of my children starting having their longer sleep periods at night rather than during the day.

I agree with Jana's advice. During the day, have your baby nap in the light around the noise of everyday life. At night, keep things dark and quiet or just with lullabies. At first they wake up frequently at night because the day and night feedings are important for growth and development. Over time they do not need to wake up as much at night and will develop a sleep pattern according to light exposure during the day.

Hi A.,
My daughter is now 22 months and I remember well the phase you're speaking of. We found it almost impossible to wake our newborn from her daytime sleep. And we actually didn't try very often. I'm not sure what other moms would say, but I'd say 2 weeks is still very young and babies that age can sleep up to 22 hours in a 24 hour period, according to our pediatrician. So that will mean there will be many hours of daytime sleep for a normal 2 week old. Our daughter began to have more nighttime sleep at about 6 weeks old. It was at 6 weeks that I was actually able to "put her to bed" at nighttime and she stayed a sleep for a few hours (maybe 3) and then would wake and go back to sleep pretty quickly.
L. C.

I would recommend "On Becoming Babywise" by Gary Ezzo. It worked well for both our kids and we plan to do it for our next. Basically they say a baby should eat for 20-30 minutes, be awake, and then take a nap. Feedings should begin about 3 hours after the last one started. There is a 30 minute give, so eating 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 hours. You might try now for the shorter periods. It was very helpful.

The other thing I loved with my second was "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. I watched the video. My cousin did not like the book.

We plan to do both of these with our next baby, due in July. Hang in there and Congratulations!

There's unfortunately not much else you can do, you just have to give it time! Mine was the same way, but at 4 months he's doing better now. We're still not getting as much sleep as we'd like, but we can sometimes get him down before midnight and he usually only gets up once or twice.

Just hang in there!!