Im 6months pregnant and im getting married next month. I had my daughter when I was sixteen, and Kimora has had the same last name for 13 years. Should I change her last name??
I agree with others...unless Kimora's dad is not around or signed over parental rights, I wouldn't even think about that. But if that is the case, then I would definitely ask her for her opinion in this matter since it will affect her life forever.
Sounds like she's 13 so I would suggest asking her. She may want to have the same last name as the rest of the family but then depending on her relationship with her dad and/or his family, she may not. She's old enough to decide, IMO.
Unless her bio dad has signed away his parental rights (or has no involvement with her at all), I'm guessing you will need his consent.
She is definitely old enough to have an opinion. Ask her. This is a totally personal / subjective thing.
ETA: Adoption may not be required for a name change. It depends on your state's laws. You can call your local courthouse to find out.
If your daughter is 13, then she has a say in what she wants to do.
Where is bio dad? If you are getting any kind of support that might change if her name changes.
If fiance adopting your daughter?
If it were me and I were 13, I would keep the name I had all my life. Especially at this age, middle school, her name has been consistant.. I would keep that consistantcy. It does not mean you love her any less.
Bottom line, communicate with your daughter about it and see what she wants to do. Include her in this new family dynamic.
She's old enough to decide for herself. I would extend the invitation, but not demand it.
What about her dad? Regardless, bad idea to strip her of part of her identity. Unless your fiancé is going to officially adopt her, that's the only way it would be ok.
If she shares her father's last name and he's present in her life, then don't bother. If she shares your last name, ask her. She may want to maintain her own maiden name and identity and connection to the rest of her maternal family.
I believe her bio dad would have a say, unless he has already given up his parental rights or is not on her birth certificate, and your new hubby would need to adopt her.
Congratulations on your baby and upcoming marriage!
I would only change her name if your fiance adopts her, and that's a separate process. I'm sure your DD has an opinion on the matter, too. Is her father around?
FWIW, I rarely had the same last name as my mom. Never mattered. Some women don't change their names at all.
She's old enough to have an opinion, so I'd ask her what she thinks.
You can't just change her last name, or anyone's for that matter. Even if her father relinquished his legal rights to her, your new husband would need to go through the legal process to adopt her in order for her name to change.
You have to have a "reason" to change your last name, meaning that you get married, divorced, adopted, etc.
I would ask your daughter how she feels about the ADOPTION, not the name change. If she wants your new husband to be her father (legally), then the name change is part of that process. If she does not, then it's irrelevant. My father was adopted by his stepfather at 16 and changed his name. His younger sister (13) elected to do so as well. His older brother (17) did not change his name and legally is not my grandfather's "child". In practicality he is, but he didn't have any interest in changing his name at that point in his life and my grandparents respected that.
In light of your last question, I would hold off on this whole discussion with your daughter until AFTER the wedding and the babies.
Not enough info given to answer this question.
Is her father in her life?
Has he given up his rights?
Does your fiance intend on adopting her?
Your daughter is not marrying him.
Now, if he wants to adopt her, legally, through the courts, then by all means change her name.
Only if he adopts her or if she wants to. Otherwise leave it as is.
Not read the other answers but I know here in TN the only way a child can have their name changed is if the parent adopts them. As far as I know for that the bio parent doesn't have anything to do with that child and does not contest the adoption. I could be wrong but that's how it was explained when I was talking to a lawyer about adopting my step son.
I think 13 is more than old enough to have her opinion matter.
No, I would not. If you are concerned about her having a different last name, consider keeping your own name.
You don't actually need a reason to change your name. Just wanting to and doing the paperwork is enough. Plenty of people change their names simply because they do not like them.
I would definitely ask her for her input on this issue. A name change is quite a significant thinng, and it might impact her psychologically. Since she is already having a difficult time accepting the fact that she will soon no longer be the only child, I would give her the chance to have SOME control where you can, and where it is reasonable.
My ex's bio dad was never involved in his life. His mom gave him her last name at the time when he was born. When she married again, she changed his name but not legally. When he was 14 (and she was remarried again), his step dad adopted him and his younger brother and they changed their names. The name never meant a lot to him until we had children and they shared it. Given the option of changing it or not, he wouldn't have. It was important to his mom is the reason he did it.
It was a little challenging getting him a passport or having to sign any legal papers because he had his legal adopted name and then two "aka"s.
Talk to her and see what she wants to do.
Ask her what she wants!! I have a 12 yr old daughter with my ex and she has expressed several times that she wants the same last name as all of us but her dad refuses. So I am going to ask him again this year if I can hyphen her last name to have his and mine because I found out that when he and his wife married she hyphened her last name and they son they adopted is hyphened as well!!
But talk to your daughter, she is old enough to have an opinion and this will lay the path to future conversations with her as she goes though the teen years :)
S.
No, I would leave her name as is. You are marrying him, your daughter is not. If you are worried about having a different last name, you could always leave your name as is.
If you get the father to sign off on it there would be no legal issues. Otherwise I would wait. She may not ever want to have this man's name. She may want it too. But legally I don't think you can just change it unless the father has signed away his legal parental rights. And even if he's not on the birth certificate he could show up and demand paternity testing at some point and cause a fuss for the name change. I'd find out for sure about the legality of it.
