Niece Having Trouble Breastfeeding

I agree with just about everyone that posted.....call for help. In the mean time... tell her to put a little bit of milk on her nipple before she tries to get the baby latched on. My husband and I almost got a divorce the first night home, cause all he would scream is "give him a bottle, he wont stop crying!" and I screamed "I will not give him a bottle, never!" Its a stressful time, tell her to relax and everyone around her too! Relax, try the milk on the nipple, it gives the baby a taste and it then they try to suck to get more. It worked for us! No worries, were still married and my son has been breast feeding now for 7 months. Good luck and call for help, there is so much out there!
-J

She should contact her lactation coach. They should have given her the number when she left the hospital, if not her ped can give it to her. She may need nipple shield to help get started. My daughter never could latch because I had inverted nipples. The shields help direct everything until mother and baby are more comfortable.

She should call The Pump Station wither in Santa Monica or Hollywood. They can answer questions or she can go in there and they can help her. Tell her not to give up...everyone has some problem or issue with getting used to breastfeeding initially. The Pump Station is super supportive and helpful!!!!!

Does she have a nursing pillow? The one I couldn't live without is called "My breast friend." It helps position the baby and keep him/her in the right position to stay latched on. Don't bother with a boppy. It slips out and away. Also, she might want to consult with a lactation specialist. They'll watch her nurse and give her some tips on what she's doing right and wrong. I know that you could walk in to one hospital in San Francisco CPMC and they'd just give you the help for free. Check out Hospitals in your area.

She can call LaLeche League. Here's their number 1-877-4-LALECHE
website:
http://www.lllusa.org/

also Pumpstation has nurses that she can call and recieve free advice.

The Pump Station Santa Monica
2415 Wilshire Blvd.
Santa Monica, CA 90403
###-###-####

Hours:
Mon-Fri 10:00am-6:00pm
Sat 10:00am-5:00pm
Sun 11:00am-5:00pm

http://www.pumpstation.com/pumpstation/

Also, the first two weeks are always the hardest. Both mom and baby are learning to nurse. Once you get over that hump it's smooth sailing.

Be sure to keep formula and bottles out of the house. People give up breast feeding when they can turn to it because it's already sitting on the shelf. It's too convenient when you're most tired and frustrated.

Kudos to you, M., for reaching out to get some advice for your niece!

As a 28-year lactation specialist ...

"Positioning" is often the culprit. Have your niece try all four breastfeeding positions (football hold, cradle hold, cross-cradle, side-lying) to see if a change in position helps to achieve a better latch on.

Also, there's nothing GENTLE about the mechanics of getting a baby to latch on properly. Have mom hold the back of baby's neck (NOT the back of the head). Tickle baby's lips with her nipple and take notice of when baby's mouth is open wide. Then immediately "push" the baby onto the breast. I know it sounds "harsh", but it really isn't. Your niece will have much better results if she brings the baby to her breast ... NOT lean forward and offer the breast to the baby.

The most important thing you can do for her is to continue to encourage her, be a good listener, and offer empathy and compassion when she gets frustrated.

Warm regards,
~M. K.
http://melaniekissell.com

Hi, M.,

I read the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, visited The Pump Station in Santa Monica and got breastfeeding lessons, none of which made breastfeeding my first child any easier. My first child wanted nothing to do with breastfeeding and was famished the whole four days I was in the hospital (until I gave him a bottle). I quit pumping milk at two months, finally started tapering off (breastfeeding) at four months and completely gave up breastfeeding at six months. My second child, born 14 months after my first, virtually crawled to my breast as soon as he was placed on me. At 15 months of age, he's still there most of the time! Different kids are different. If I had it to do over again, I would not have pushed my first child so much to breastfeed and instead would have given him the bottle from the day he was born. Yes, I know, politically un-PC and not the view of the majority on this site. By the way, both of my kids seem quite (equally) healthy.

Good luck to you, your niece and your niece's baby.

Lynne E

In addition to getting help from a Lactation Consultant or Breastfeeding group... she HAS TO MAKE SURE her baby is NOT getting dehydrated! This is dangerous in a newborn.
She should ALSO tell her Pediatrician about this... if baby is not getting enough intake, it will affect his/her weight gain & development etc.

To me, this is EQUALLY important, if not more so.
Sticking it out is good, yes... but meanwhile what about the baby? If he/she is not getting sufficient intake because of latching on problems... then baby can get dehydrated and not be getting enough daily calories or nutrition.

All the best,
Susan

It may be hard for awhile, but remind her that when in the middle of a trial it's hard to see the big picture. Help her envision what she wants, for herself and the baby, and how good she'll feel in the future when she gets through this tough time and triumphs in breastfeeding! If she keeps her goal in mind, it will make this tough time more endurable. She'll become stronger by working through this and finding the proper help to succeed rather than giving up. SHE CAN DO THIS! Continue reminding her of her inner strength and abilities. Kudos to you being so supportive!
~N.

Yes, definitely have her see a lactation consultant immediately. Might be paid for through her insurance. If not, it is an excellent investment of her own money. I saw one within the first week of giving birth, and it helped tremendously and I had no problems afterward. But she must do this ASAP. And your niece will need lots of encouragement, as BFing is not the easiest thing in the world at first. Once she and baby have their groove, it will go smoothly. Have her use Lansinoh for soreness of nipples. I highly recommend this product and it is safe for baby, too. Very best of luck to your niece!!

By "staying latched on" I am assuming you mean the baby is falling asleep on her breast and unlatching? If this is correct then tell her to have the baby breastfeed in daper only so she can have skin to skin. The cool air will also help baby stay awake. Also, pause and tickle baby awake. while feeding have the dad tickle the baby and/or apply a cool (not COLD) washcloth on the baby's skin/face if the baby falls asleep. These were all recommended to me by my lactation consultant and they worked. It is a lot of work and dad will need to commit to helping out in the middle of the night, but it's worth it. If baby is awake but just not latching, burp her. SHe may have some gas.
Lanolin and some milk on nipples will help with cracked/sore nipples along with cool gel pads (available at rite-aid,etc).

It's normal to be "down a bit" after the first week. There are many factors to be considered with the breastfeedig. Encourage her to phone La Leche League. If she can afford it, lactation counclers are availble.
How's the baby's latch? Lips flanged? How much did the baby weigh at birth? Was the baby full term? Has the baby gained back to it's birth weight? Mabey everything is fine, and the baby is just a "sipper" How long does the baby sleep? How many wet diager a day should the baby have (at least 5) what color is the urine? Has she supplemented? Has she given a pasy? Does she have inverted nipples?

This is the tip of the icegerg of questions. Does she have Womanly Art of Breastfeeding book? That has many pictures and is very reassuring to first time moms.

Good Luck
S. Wolcott, LM RN CLC
www.homebirthwaterbirth.com

Hi M.:

You are a wonderful aunt - God bless you for trying to help her! For some reason, BFing didn't come "easy" for my either with ANY of my children (I have 3 - you'd think it would be easier with each child, but not for me!) The support that you give her is crucial as is getting her to see a lactation consultant. They will grab the breast and the child and bring them together. They can teach her what methods will work for her and her baby since they're ALL so different. Most of all, tell her that it WILL get easier. Tell her that she is doing the MOST important job in the world tight now and the fact that she's trying SO hard to give her baby THE absolute best thing in the world is proof of what a WONDERFUL mommy she is! Tell her to hang in there - it doesn't always come naturally for some of us, but that she WILL be able to do it. Don't give up. Trust me, if I can do it and did it for at least 1 year for each of my babies - then she can do it. Tell her to feel free to email me or call if I can support her in any way. God bless you all! Mauree: ____@____.com or ###-###-####.

The Pump Station saved me! I used the one in Hollywood. They sent a lactation consultant to me that taught me everything!

1248 Vine St, Los Angeles - ###-###-####

I went thru the same thing that she is going thru and BOY was it frustrating. I spoke to the lacation specialist at the hospital. She was very helpful. The most important thing is to try to relax. I got so uptight and upset that it made what I thought was going to be a blissful experinece into a serious chore. My nipples were also SO sore that it was very painful. If she is having this issue, get her some nipple cream. It was a life saver. It did take me about 2 weeks to really get the hang of it. If she wants to chat with someone about it, she can email me at ____@____.com.

Have her seek a consultation with a lactation consultant. The hospital she delivered at should have lactation consultatnts on staff. This may be a free service. If she is in Los angeles, the Lactation Station at St. John's Health Center offers free consultations with a licensed nurse/consultant. Or, she could try an internet search for a local La Leche group.

First, I would recommend getting in touch with a lactation consultant. Most hospitals have at least one trained lactation person. If she is in the Inland Empire, there are other resources available as well. It may take a little research, but lactation ladies are out there (although last time I tried to schedule with my daughter, the next available appt was a week away, which wasn't particularly helpful).
Second, tell her not to be too hard on herself if it doesn't work out. The climate these days is heavy on BF (which I totally agree is important for baby), but it can be a bit stifling, especially when you are having trouble. Both of my kids had issues with BF, and both ended up being big time refluxers, which I think had a lot to do with it. I even took my son to the guru of BF in the IE who threw her hands in the air and told me she didn't have any more ideas. I had to pump for both of them, which was a terribly time consuming process, especially in the middle of the night. I pumped for 6 and 5 months respectively, then switched to formula. I did the best I could before the cow dried up...and I am comfortable with that. Let her know that as long as the baby is getting nutrition from somewhere, it will be ok. BF is best, but not the only option.

Have her contact the maternity floor and ask for the number to a breastfeeding consultant. They have classes that are free they meet in the mall. Also there are La Lache league mothers she could call and they come to the home. Tell her it is so important to help the baby bond with her and it is the best nutrition for the baby. Also rub the top of the babies mouth with the breast or finger it makes them move there tongue right so they can latch on. Good luck. M. R

Hi-

You have been given good suggestions and the only thing I would add is for me a Breast Feeding Support group really helped. I joined the one at my hospital and they had a lactation consultation facillitating the group, and huge support from the other moms. It also answered so many questions that new moms just don't know, or want reassurance.

Hey M.,
Tell your niece not to give up. It took my son three months to be fully breastfed because of latching issues. Tell her to go to a lactation consultant. It is hard and frustating at the beginning, but oh so worth it. Just tell her to be patient and hang in there, it will all fall into place.
good luck
ceci

If your niece is anywhere near Burbank, I highly recommend the lactation consultants at Providence St. Joe's. They also have a breastfeeding support group that is great!

http://www.providence.org/losangeles/services/babywise/e0...

Hi!
You are a wonderful Aunt. I wish I had one like you!
Have her call La Lache League. There is usually a listing in the white pages or go online. They are wonderful and free. If not a lactation specialist can help.
Also, remember that the baby didn't read any of the book and probably doesn't agree with anything in them anyway. They are both first timers and some things just need a little more practice. Good luck and best wishes.

Along with all the LLL readings, please make sure(or buy for her) a tube of Lanolin and a nursing pillow. Apply the Lanolin after every single feeding. It really helps!

I was in pain for 2 weeks with sore cracked nipples. It felt like there was electricity going through my mammary glands as my milk came out. Taking hot baths while massaging my breasts to expell some of the milk helped with my discomfort as well.

After my nipples healed over a few times, they toughened up and after 2 weeks my baby was able to latch on with no problem. Also as my baby grew, her mouth opening grew too and that helps.

Encourage her to stick with it and nurse on demand (this is how you build up your milk supply and meet the growing needs of your baby). Doctors are wrong whenthey tell you to nurse on a 2-3 hour schedule.

Call A Mother's Haven in Encino. They have lactation consultants, about $150 per consultation, but it's worth it. Also, she should call the hospital she gave birth at to see if they have lactation specialist there or a support group. It's hard, I know. But there is help out there.
Also there is a good book you could buy for her: The Nursing Mother's Companion Book. There is also one for weaning.
Good Luck!

First, please tell her that many of us have had trouble and that she's not alone. What seems like a "natural" thing doesn't come easy or natural to many of us and we quickly feel frustrated and a failure. My best advice is to get her quickly to a propfessional lactation consultant. These beginning weeks are the most important for milk supply so she needs someone to see her and the baby and offer help in person. La Leche League offers free lactation support - they are a non-profit organization for breastfeedong mothers. They are in every city and will help day or night. Check the web for their website. Also check the hospital where she felivered. Many now offer free professional lactation help for as long as the mother is breastfeeding. If you do the research and get the telephone numbers for her, she'll be more willing and able to get the help she and her baby need. Good luck. I had a very difficult time breastfeeding but am so happy I sought out help and breastfeed both my sons with much success.

I think what she needs most right now is SUPPORT! Keep encouraging her in any way possible! La Leche leaugue is really good with that stuff. If she is experiencing any pain I recomend soothies. The are round gel pads you put in your bra between nursing. I would cut mine in quarters and just put it over the nipple. She is half way there! Nursing usually picks up about two weeks. Besides...I seem to remember being told that newborns aren't particularly hungry the first days of life, so she isn't starving her baby. The pediatrician should be watching the baby closely for weight, but losing ten percent of the baby's birth weight is totally normal! Encourage her and help educate her. Buy books, or print info from the web...whatever it takes so she knows she isn't alone and she isn't doing anything wrong!

I agree with the advice so far. I had similar problems and meeting with a lactation consultant was so helpful. It may be covered with her insurance? Good luck to her.

Get her to a lactation consultant. I am in Long Beach and through a local pediatrician / the hospital they offered a lactation clinic twice per week. Not only did they get my daughter nursing correctly, it also got me around other brand-new moms that were just as exhausted as me AND having nursing challenges!

I endured 8 weeks before my daughter got the hang of it... but we did it! Just stopped at 29 months ;)

Best advice I can give is to ensure that the atmosphere is relaxed. If she is getting upset - little one will sense that. Ensure that she is not distracted by anything, tv, emailing... She should be in a quiet calm room so that baby has her full attention and visa versa. This worked for me (- 2 boys) - Don't give up...it is soooo worth it for both parties

Please let your new mama know, HANG IN THERE. First time mama, and my little guy is now three months old. I had a c-section and the first time breastfeeding experience was a lot more challenging. I found encouragement in setting a goal. My mom (mother of four) said if I could just make it past the two week mark then I'd be fine.
Let her know it's completely normal to have cracked, at times bleeding nipples. (Lanisol really helped, also at times when it was unbearable the occasional use of a nipple shield helps)
The engorgement too will pass as her and her newborn continue to learn this process with each other and her body adjust to feeding needs.
Lastly please encourage to NOT GIVE UP! For me, it really did get better after the first two weeks. The bonding experience that occurs when breastfeeding is totally irreplaceable and indescribable.

Hope this helps!

have her try nursing in the bathtub ..it's relaxing..turn the lights low..also if she's using bottles then she needs to get a slow flow nipple..maybe try to make it hard for baby to get the milk out so that baby prefers mommy