My parents had 5 children, with the youngest arriving later in their life. When my sister arrived, I had been the baby of the family for 10 years, so as you can imagine, I was a bit jealous!
I mention the age difference to show you how much older all of us were to my sister. When she turned about 6 years old she started having these night terrors. At the time we had no idea what was going on. I remember the first one vividly as it scared my sister and I into tears.
My parents were sleeping, as was my youngest sister Maria. At some point we heard her crying in her room. My older sister and I went in to check on her and what we found, we thought was a very distraught, awake, and afraid little 6 year old little girl. Her eyes were wide open, she was partially responsive but when she would talk it wouldn't make any sense. It was nearly Christmas as we had a large Christmas Tree in our living room. My sister and I tried to sort out what was going on but when we would try and touch our sister to calm her she would become violent.
We eventually began crying and realized that we needed our parents help. My sister ran to wake up my mom while I stayed with my sister. She eventually got out of bed and headed to the living room. My mom came up and found my sister appearing to be wide awake but behaving very strange and saying things that didn't make any sense. By this time all three of us were in tears and afraid. My mom got a hold of my sister, who started struggling to get away from her and she sat on the couch with my sister in front of her. She wrapped her arms around her and upper body and her legs around my sisters so that she wouldn't be able to hurt anyone or herself and she prayed outloud while rocking my sister to try and calm her and then she started singing to her. She sang Jesus loves me over and over until my sister was calm again. I remember this event as is if it happened yesterday because it was very traumatic to all of us. My mom sat there and rocked her and tearfully sang to her until she was able to get Maria on her lap and relaxed and then my mom and my sister and I prayed over her for peaceful sleep and then we put her back to bed. We stayed in her room for about 30 minutes to make sure she would be ok and then the next morning she had no memory of what had happened.
She eventually grew out of these after a few years but they were terrifying and disturbing. Her pediatrician explained what these were to us so we finally understood what was going on.
We learned to allow her to go through what was happening and that by our praying and singing to her she would settle down quite quickly. We learned to try and not wake her and to just make sure she wasn't hurting herself. She loved the song 'Jesus Loves Me' so we would sing that to her and we say a prayer and only when she would try and get up and wander around the house or her room would we intervene and hold her. Otherwise we just watched what was going on and our singing seemed to pull her out of what was happening.
I do feel bad for what you and your husband are going through because I've been there and I know how traumatic and emotional it can be. I hope that your son too grows out of these as my sister did, but in the meantime you just have to try things to see if any of them seem to help like the praying and singing we would do for my sister. We sing in a very soft tone to her and it was her favorite song so I'm not sure if that is why it had a positive effect on her during her night terrors or not.
There were times that it seemed to agitate her but we just kept singing and she eventually settled herself.
All I can suggest is that you make sure your son isn't in a position where he can hurt himself or others and as long as he's safe all you can really do is monitor the situation and if you find peace in prayers I suggest you say a prayer outloud asking for your son's comfort and peace while he sleeps and you can try singing to him. It may work for him as it did for my young sister. I don't recommend trying to hold him until he's settled himself down unless you need to in order to protect him from himself or to protect others in your home. They can get violent if they feel threatened so this is why we learned to just let her work through it.
Good luck, and if you need any other information or have any questions you're welcome to message me privately.
Now that I am a mother of a 7 year old boy of my own I can only imagine having to go through this again but having it be my child rather then my sister. I do understand the position you are in as a parent and how desperate you feel not being able to fix this for your child but just know that most children do grow out of these.
One more thing, before we would put my sister to bed at night we would have her take a long relaxing bath and then we would pray with her before she would go to sleep and pray for peaceful dreams and for God's calming grace to stay with her throughout the night. This praying made a difference to us. It made us feel comforted and protected in a way. If you and your family pray then I suggest you pray together at night when you put your son to bed. Also ask for the strength and knowledge to help your child through these and for God's comfort and emotional strength. You will be surprised how those prayers help you through this.
I wish you and your family the best while you work through this.
Regards,
BP