Nighttime Toilet Training Advice Needed!

have you tried a sticker chart to motivate him to try to stay dry? I think they may be able to subconsciously control it somehow like adults do. It sounds like when the alarm goes off he still isn't even motivated to go.

we made a chart and every time he filled up a row he got to pick out a toy or book. I told him if he filled up the entire chart we would take him to Disneyland and it worked.

Good luck.

My darling 7 yr old son has the same problem. It is SO frustrating!! He does well for a couple of months, then has 3 accidents in a week. He get's all upset if I insist he wear pull-ups to bed, but sometimes it has to be done. At this point he has ruined his mattress and it will have to be replaced if he ever becomes completely dry at night, that is.

Unfortunately some kids have smaller bladders than others, couple that with a hard sleeper and you get nite-time accidents. Like some of the other moms have said, I too wake my son up before I go to bed (around midnight). Occasionally he will get up himself and go (YAY!), and sometimes I let him go all night, if he hasn't had much to drink. He ususlly only has a little squirt to empty out, but I think waking him myself is a better solution than an alarm. That way I know how full his bladder is and I can monitor how the amount of liquids he has at dinner effect him.

I dont' understand how the alarm helps him realize he has to go to the bathroom? Hasnt' he already started going and already wet the bed at that point? And might the alarm scare the pee right out of him, instead of make him stop and go into the bathroom to finish? Those would be my questions about using the alarm. I mean, everybody gets annoyed when they are awakened out of a sound sleep, have to get up out of a warm bed, and stumble to the bathroom in the middle of the night, but it's something we all eventually learn. I keep telling myself, "He won't be going off to college in pull-ups."

Good luck!

Back when my son was at that age (he's now 15) I had a friend give me this suggestion and it worked wonderfully!
She told me that when her son was little he'd sleep so heavily he'd wet the bed. So she got in the habit of waking him at midnight every night (set her alarm to wake herself) and leading him into the bathroom. It got to be such a habit that after a while he started automatically waking up on his own. One night she heard him in there and she hadn't even gotten up to wake him yet. He looked as though he was sleep walking but did a wonderful job of getting there and back with no problems. She never had problems with him wetting the bed after that. It was an inconvenience for her, but it wasn't very long, maybe a couple weeks, and he was already in the habit himself.
Being that I used to get home at about midnight from working the night shift at Thriftys drug and discount store, it was easy for me to started doing this with my son. I would come home from work, go in and wake him gently and tell him to go try to use the bathroom. He did and I don't even remember how many times we did it before it became a habit. He never wet his bed, ever. Now crapping his pants was another thing.

Being he's a boy (I hear it's common) he was always too lazy to stop playing long enough to go. And to this day is still having bouts of diahreah and staining underwear, but as he's gotten older he's slowed down and started taking more time in there. (diahreah can also be caused by back-up problems, the stool becomes so hard that the looser stuff has to squeeze by the blockage and will come unexpectedly so the boy thinks it's gas and it runs out, yuck!) I have to remind him now and again that he needs to slow down. Always in a hurry to rush back to his video games or online chatting, he'll rush through and ruin his undies by waiting too long to go, or not wiping good.

As soon as he starts making his own money, which started last weekend when he got a work permit to go to work with his dad on the weekends, he will start paying for his own underwear and that should be an incentive for him to pay more attention! Plus girls help, he likes to smell good for them. I always knew that would eventually help.

So good luck with the toilet training during the night. It really worked for me! I am forever in my friend's debt for this.

My daughter, never had a problem with either. BUT she would not take enough time in the bathroom either and she developed another problem. She got so backed up she had stomach problems. She started missing too much school over it , I mean crying and in pain. So I took her to a specialist and he gave her perscription strength medicine to thin her stools, and told her that she needs to start taking more time in the bathroom, to concentrate on pushing and getting her muscles working again, they were starting to weaken from not being used. He told her not to be afraid of the pain, that sometimes it will hurt, but it will stop. He could feel the backup in her intestines when she laid down on his table. It was that bad! She got better over about a month, and since then has only had one rebound with it. He warned us that it could happen again, so to nip it in the bud if she starts to get sick from it again. If we go camping or to visit relatives make sure she drinks a lot of water and uses the bathroom still, taking her time.

Now she knows, if she starts to feel icky again to take more time in teh bathroom, to push more and keep those muscles working because they can actually stop working if she doesn't use them enough, making her even more seriously ill.

I never even thought I'd have to teach my kids proper bathroom edicate, I always thought it just came naturally. I never had problems with this that I remember. But I guess kids who like to play a lot of video games can get in the bad habit of holding it in too long. I didn't have video games as a kid, so ... there you go. Keep them active and make sure they slow down once in the bathroom. No quick moves, hahah.
Hope this helps! :)

I used the alarm and it did take my son a few weeks to get his brain trained to wake up and use the bathroom. I went back to the baby monitor at night when he had the alarm because he was such a hard sleeper, and it was usually me who heard the alarm first. Once he began waking to it I stopped getting up until after I heard him in the bathroom ( our place is small so I could tell), I praised him for getting up and gradually I was able to ween him from the alarm. He is 10 now and every now and then has an accident but it is very rare.
I found cutting liquids didn't help much as he was such a hard sleeper, but getting him up a few times a night in the beginning helped.

J., Personally I know all about wetting the bed at night. I had a bedwetting problem until I was 13 years old. I know it is frustrating for parent and child but sometimes there is nothing to do but let it run its course. Most of the time it's because kids are deep sleepers and do not wake up when they have the sensation to go. I would try everything possible but not push if it's not working. I'm sure it is stressfull but believe me you son is bearing the brunt of the problem. Have you tried Goodnights undrewear for older children with this problem? They sell them at Target. My husband and I both had the problem as kids and thankfully our son did not inherit the gene but we still have to cross our fingers for our daughter. Good luck and don't worry, it will eventully stop!

My Oldest daughter didn't have a dry night until she was almost 11. We never did try the alarm thing. She was and still is a very heavy sleeper. I think the whole bed-wetting at night is genetic, so don't feel bad or make him feel bad. The thing that finally worked for her were the nose drops. I can't remember the name, but you will need a prescription from your pediatrician. We were anticipating an over night with her school and tried it out a week before and trhen again the night of the school sleepover and she has been dry ever since.

My brother had the same problem, and wet the bed until he was 11 years old. My step-son also wet the bed until he was at leat 10 years old. This is usually an inherited bladder problem. The bladder eventually matures and the problem goes away. This may sound silly, but I would wake him when you go to bed, even as late as 11pm, and make him go to the bathroom. He'll be groggy, but must do his thing. Then I would sleep him in night-time diapers (pampers) for adults until he wakes up dry 3 nights in a row. The more you fuss, the more frustrated he gets, too. He will grow out of this. Oh yeh, and each morning he wakes up with a wet bed, he changes his own sheets and puts them in the washer, and remakes the bed -- that is if you don't use the pampers. This is not to punish him, just teaches him to take care of his own responsibilities. My husband's 40 year old son still laughs about his bed wetting.

Hi J.,

My nephew had an alarm and it scared him so badly the first time it went off, my sister never put it on him again. I tried everything from limiting liquids and getting a sleeping child on the potty to go at all hours of the night. Nothing seemed to work and we were going through pull ups like crazy. I mentioned the problem to our pediatrician and he recommended a simple pill at bedtime, can't remember what it was called, but my daughter was on it for one year and never wet the bed again. He said that their bladders sometimes don't grow quickly enough and the pill can help. She was a really solid sleeper too. Best of luck!

Hi,
my son is 9 years old and had betwetting problem till he was almost 8 and even after that, he would sometimes wet his bed. He doesnt have this problem anymore. What helped us was making him to go to the bathroom before bed, waking him up at around 11pm or before we went to bed and taking him to bathroom. Another thing that helped was finding out that certain foods triggered bedwetting. Eg. Chocolate.

One thing we took care to do was to not make an issue of this( on the advice of our doctor). Some kids have a smaller bladder and so it takes time for them to grow out of bed wetting. We involved him in night-time toilet training ie he did it for himself because he wanted it. When there were accidents, we just washed and changed the bedding with out embarassing him (we put a plastic protecting sheet on the mattress). Eventually, he grew out of it. Hope this helps.

I have a 7yr old girl, & about 2 mths ago I stopped the night time pull ups. It has been very trying for me also. I put her to bed at 8pm & have her go to the bathroom, then at about 10-11 I put her again, then at about 4:30 when I wake up my husband & get her up fisrt to go potty & have her go back to bed. There are times when I go in before I go to bed & she has wet the bed, & there are nights when I goin at about 3am & shes wet the bed, I just clean her up, put a pad on the bed & put her back to sleep & deal with the sheets in the morning, but then there are the mornings that she wakes up dry. I have noticed that she sleeps very hard & does not wake up she wets the bed. I just hope that someday it will click & she'll start waking up on her own, but until then I'll keep waking her up.
Hope this helped a little to know that your not the only one with this problem. Good luck.
J.

My daughter is only 2 and a half but I have found that she doesn't want to go potty when she wakes b/c she feels cold. She wears one piece pajamas. We have taken to putting on an undershirt so she is not completely naked when she takes them off to go potty but she still complains her legs are cold.

Don't know if this is helpful or not but maybe trying to make the bathroom warmer for him somehow will make it more enticing.

I never used an alarm. What I did was to wake my son up before I went to bed to go to the bathroom. I made sure that he went directly before bed and then again about 2 hours later when I was going to bed.

In about 2 weeks, no more bed wetting.

I do hop you find something that works. I really struggled with that stage and am really glad it's over.

I wet the bed until I was older than I'd like to admit (-: My Mom tried the alarm with me and when it would go off, I too would wake up crying mostly because it scared me. For me, I just had to grow out of it. My Grandparents wet the bed, my Mom, my Uncle and myself, brother and sister so it was in our family. My Mother in Law had two kids that wet and she swears by her method. For two weeks she would get herself up twice in the night and have her child go potty. She swears that with both kids, two weeks and they never wet the bed again.

Hi J.,
Instead of using a bedwetting alarm that goes off when he urinates, set an alarm to go off 3 or 4 hours after he goes to bed. Wake him up, and take him to the bathroom. This way he is still emptying his bladder at night and not wetting the bed anymore. This will train his body to go at that certain time. Eventually he will start waking up on his own at that time to go to the bathroom.
Be patient, lots of moms go through it. I did, and this technique works:) Sometimes their little bladders just can't make it all night long.
Bedwetting can last till puberty, when their bladder finally develops completely.

Good luck!
S.
Mom of a 15 year old
Babysitter of many
Biology Teacher

Dear J.,
If your son is waking up annoyed that is a good sign. His nervous system will begin to respond to the annoyance and make a connection with the bladder's activity. His brain will wire for a more aware response to the activity of his body.

It might also be helpful to not give him milk after noon. The calcium in milk is a nervine. Not having it for a few hours before sleeping will give him more ability to respond if he needs to urinate.

You might also look at family history. He might have a small bladder that takes more time to develop. This sometimes runs in families and the act of researching will provide some stories of other people who have had similar experiences. Have your son participate in the research by interviewing and hearing the stories. You might find that it is fascinating and fun for him to ask about yours and your families history of "pee". Read "Everybody Pees", a great book.

It also sounds liike there is a lot of focus on "peeing" and some financial investment. Having the family as a whole become aware of how much they are invested in the "problem" and putting it into perspective might support resolution. "This too shall pass" might be the best way of considering it.

I am a mother and grandmother of three kids and three grandchildren. I am also a psychotherapist and anthropologist. Peace, C.

I've never been exposed to the alarm so my advice/opinion is of no help in that regard. Have you tried setting your alarm to wake him up (or help him to the bathroom while he's still groggy) to go to the bathroom? It's pretty much training yourself to wake up when you need to go. Most children sleep really deeply. That's why you can carry them to bed, to the car, next to a freight train, etc and they don't wake up. Make it a routine. My mother woke me up every day from the time I could walk until I was 11 or so at 3:00am. She'd take me to the bathroom then we'd have cookies and milk and go back to bed. When I was older, we continued - except we'd meet at the bathroom. It was a habit. I still do it to this day and I'm 32.

My husband told me he was a bedwetter when he was younger. This is what his grandmother did, always go to the bathroom before bedtime and limit the amount of liquid consumed. She would also wake him in the middle of the night (around the same time) and make him go to the bathroom. No alarms (for your son anyway - you may need one for yourself) they just made waking him up a part of his sleeping routine. I am told he did fight a lot at first (who wants to be woken up) but after a while it became an automatic response to wake up at a certain time and use the bathroom. Good luck.

I have a 8yr old son and he as well has a bedwetting problem. What we have done and it works is we dont let him drink any fluids after 8pm and make him go potty before he goes to bed. I constantly get up at night to make sure he is covered, i believe sometimes because they uncover themselves and get cold they end up wetting the bed. What i would also do is get him up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet. He gets up everyday at 6am so he goes to the toilet at that time as well. On weekends we have to get him up at the same time or else he does tend to have accidents. Good luck don't give up just keep him on a schedule.

I had the same problem with my younger son. Bedwetting alarms hadn't been invented yet. I tried to pay attention to what time he would typically wet the bed. At first I thought it was stupid, that kids don't wet the bed at the same time every night but to my amazement it was fairly consistent. Once I had an approximate time, I set a regular alarm clock for about a half an hour before the time he usually wet the bed. For the first week the alarm was in my room and I got up and helped him to the bathroom. The second week I put the alarm in his room. He was so happy from the first weeks results he actually wanted the alarm clock in his room. The other thing that helped A LOT was to limit the fluid intake after 7:30 - 8:00 at night. I let him have as much as he wanted to drink up until about 7:00 and then started monitoring him until 8:00 and then cut him off. Naturally the times are dependant on the bedtime. If he goes to bed at 8:00 them I would cut him off at 6:00. I hope this helps, I didn't think I would ever get him to stop wetting the bed at night but it only took about a month and hasn't happened since. He is now in college.

Night time potty training is hard thing for some children to master, however he will outgrow it soon. It is very un-natural for a child to be scared out of a deep sleep by a blaring horn and parents running into his bedroom. It must be a very scary thing for him, which is probably going to make the situation worse. Stress is known to make the problem worse. Boys do a lot of things later than girls, including all stages of potty training.
I say invest in a good waterproof pad and Goodnites (they have the new boxer style) and he will out grow whatever is causing the issue.