The place we're hopefully signing a lease to on friday has its master bedroom in a loft so there is no door or wall that would work to put one up temporarily!!! I know about the screen panel wall divider things, but there is no lock on them! what do we do about getting it on and the possibility my daughter can J. wake up and walk in? her bedroom will be through another hallway so she wouldnt be right there, but it kind of makes it impossible to get it on in the morning, night, or anytime she's home.
there is another bedroom we could use but that wouldn't have a bathroom attached to it...and we've never had that so we'd want to take advantage of it=)
What would you do?
cat- I offered that as a suggestion and apparently my boyfriend tinks it seems too dirty to have a "get it on" room=) i do not!
and that extra room would be possibly be the room next to my daughters, that freaks him out, although i reminded him that the tiny place were in now the rooms are closer than that!
8kidsdad- we love this place and the price is right so we cant find another place
Jo I offered the bathroom as a solution and got a no there too=(
also how do some people get intimate in the family room downstairs? what if a kid wakes up and walks in?
Hi J.-
Perhaps make the extra room a special nook (ie)??
And J. 'sleep' in master?
Best luck!
michele/cat
Wait until she's down. Hang a bell on the outside of her bedroom door before you start to get it on so you can hear if she opens it.
My husband grew up in a house where his parent's room not only had no door, but everyone had to walk through it to get to the bathroom (it was the only one in the house). They managed to figure out a way as he's one of 8 kids!!! They are both gone now, so I can only guess that where there's a will, there's a way!!
Couple of thoughts...
1. How often does your daughter wake up in the middle of the night and come to your room? If this is a regular thing, then solve this issue first. LOVE the idea of a walkie talkie so she can "call you" if she needs something. You could also pull out the baby monitor and use that.
2. Buy a heavy set of curtains and hang them over the doorway. This will also cut down on general noise coming up the staircase.
3. Start having conversations with your daughter about privacy in general and how to be respectful of it. Model it for her. If a door is locked, you knock and wait for an answer. If a curtain is closed, you shout for the person and wait for an answer. Model it for her all the time to set the expectation.
Good luck and yes, people do get it on in the living room with sleeping children... pretty sure that's how we ended up with baby #2! Oh- and children walk in on their parents all the time... believe M.. The things kids share in school would make you tinkle yourself with laughter! I know which parents have sex in the shower (Student drew a picture and wrote a story based on a "what kinds of things does your family do" writing prompt), which parents have um... toys in the drawer (student brough fuzzy handcuffs in her backpack), which parents are trying to conceive (I know what a thermometer is! Mommy keeps one by the potty because I want a sister), which fathers have been snipped (Mrs. P, daddy is home today because he had a procedure. Don't worry, he got snipped b/c they don't want more kids).
Young children hear and see everything and they LOVE to share!
why not turn the doorknob around on your daughter's door so you can lock her door from the outside when you need to?
You don't have to be in your own bedroom in order to "get it on." Keep the loft as your master bedroom. If the mood arises in the middle of the day or at a time when she might interrupt, J. move the action elsewhere.
We've been known to have intimate time in our family room in the basement while the kids sleep quietly upstairs. In the middle of the day (with the tv on) we've snuck off to our room and locked the door.
Be creative!
Well, since you haven't signed the lease yet, either find some place else or figure on getting caught, or become celebate. (I don't recommend the last choice.)
LOL
Good luck to you and yours.
I think using the extra room during the day as a "get it on room" (OMG, I love that term!) would be ideal. If you want to have sex after your daughter goes to bed, then you use your room. If the child is still awake, then use the "get it on room" or the bathroom...why not mix it up!?
What about putting a very large curtain? You could get some material to cover the openness of it and then that way it will provide a little more privacy. And then J. tell your daughter that she needs to wait on the other side of the curtain and call to you if she needs something. Or get her a walkie talkie and tell her if she needs anything at night then to use that, and you will go to her instead of her coming into your room at night.
What if the kids wake up? use a monitor so you can hear of the do. Think about it, years ago families all slept in one room homes...getting it on and having kids didn't seem to be a problem for them.
Most of what you are concerned about are things that are more in your head then what will really happen.
Take the other bedroom but put a bookshelf or something on the wall, and run a fan in DD's room at night, every night, for white noise. Our bedroom shares a wall with SD and SD shares a wall with DD. No way around it.
Seriously, you CAN find another place if it's such a concern. There will be other apartments that are more perfect than this one or priced as well as this one. It doesn't HAVE to be this one.
The difference is how patient you're willing to be.
I guess J. cut out the middle man and do it in the bathroom. :p
I think you should J. tell your daughter to not walk in your room, have her knock on the wall or something and at least hang a curtain.
You know way back in history parents shared rooms with the kids. And since humans are still on the earth I think they figured a way of getting it on without disturbing their children. I would also pick up a baby monitor and then you can hear if she wakes up.
If hanging a curtain is possible, I would do that. Explain to your daughter (don't know her age?) that when the curtain is closed, then you are wanting privacy/alone time. She is not to open the curtain without permission.
Also, could you get a motion alert to put somewhere in her path to your "room"? Have the receiver in your room so when she starts walking your way you will know!!
You have said in other posts that you have two nights a week that are adult only - I think you are good to go on those nights for sure and you can keep it simple the other nights.
I don't know how old your daughter is but could she take the loft room and you have one with a door? Otherwise I'd look for something else.
