No Money but...nails, New Tattoos, Hair....

What really annoys me is the women who have their hair done, nails done, latest fashions, while their child looks like a rag doll that is starving...

I do find that annoying, and I know several people like this. Sad thing is, lots of them have kids who are going without essentials so that they can spend money on nails and tattoos. Sad!

Oh my gosh... I'M NOT ALONE!!! I always thought I'm the only one thinking this way!!! I know exactly what you mean - I have nieces that are always getting their hair and nails done, etc. but yet never have any money for the things that are important - car, gas, food, clothing for their kids! Plus, on top of all the "frilly" stuff they have cell phones and computers WITH internet!!! How they afford this stuff, I have no idea! They don't stick with any jobs for long; they can't possibly have any savings, etc. I know in the past they've been on public assistance and may still be; I don't know! In fact, I know one of them filed bankruptcy but yet is right back in the same boat a few years later. I don't think she learned anything from that experience. I've tried talking to them but it's like talking to a brick wall! This is getting long....can you tell this is a sore point with me!!! Bottom line....YES, it's annoying!!!!

I stand in the checkout line at walmart, having selected the MOST needed items in my "i only have x amount of money to spend and cant go over" list. Wishing I could get more, but will have to wait till next time or next month. And what's causing the 30 minutes holdup in the checkout lane are people with OVER FLOWING carts of food and junk that they are paying with foodstamps - but their hair is done, their nails are done and too long, they have designer purses, and are on a cell phone that I would love to have but refuse to spend the money! gold jewelry, even gold jewelry on the KIDS, some have tats also.. I guess as long as there is government assitance or other way out for people, you can't tell them how to spend money.

Now If I could win the power ball....

It is annoying. Back when I was working we had a Medicaid worker in our office who helped with Medicaid for pregnancy and most of the clients did qualify for assistance but every now and then one would come in and list a new Linclon Navigator or Lexus ect as their vehicle, well the value of that car was counted as part of their assets and would disqualify them, many could not understand this and would get angry. Saying they didn't have an income or the money for the Dr/hospital ect. They would be told that the options were to sell the car and use that money to pay the hospital bill and maybe then they could qualify. Most people cared more about the car they drove than being resposible for their bills. Come one people if you can afford the $400-$500/mo payment on that car you should be able to afford the payment plans at the hospital. DH and I live well within our means and save what we can but if we don't have the cash on hand for something then it's not something we needed to have/do in the first place.

Wow, I see a lot of judgement and a lot of assumption in the responses. We live within our means and save a good deal of our money, but it doesn't give me the right to judge why people have those things. Mabey people are looking to fill a void in their life or they just want something to make them feel good or special. I'm not saying it justifies that, but come on people, have a little grace and realize that you are only seeing the small picture.

I know some wonderful, hardworking families that are on foodstamps for the time being, until they can get back on their feet. I won't begrudge them the little extra they may spend on something I would consider extravagant.

Because their nails are 30 a week and don't realize that is 120 a month. Because their mani/pedis are 50 a week and don't realize that is 200 a month. Because well I have no idea how much tats are.

The point is their mortgage is say 600 a month and they don't realize that giving up those two wants would put them halfway there. Apparently our schools really have failed the students cause a lot of people out there cannot do simple math. :(

Oh, yes, very annoying.

When I was going back to school for dietetics, we had an enlightening cultural diversity lecture and I learned these things:

Some people with very low incomes do this because it is part of thier environment or neighborood. Sometimes, things like hair and nail services are traded, not paid for. And people might live in a teeny little trailer with a big fancy TV because that TV is their vacation, because they can't afford a trip somewhere. Or they migt have a pimped out phone but can't afford a decent car. Everyone needs to enjoy and have an "escape" from life, even people wo don't have a lot of money. I agree, if you don't have a lot of money, the money you do have should be spent as productively as possible, but I do believe there is something to be said about the overall life they live and that it is human to have little escapes.

Since I am grateful and blessed to have enough money to afford bills and things for my children, I will not judge these people, although I do admit that it drives me crazy to see people buying cigarettes with their own money and then using SNAP or WIC coupons for food. But then, while they are addicted to cigarettes; I can't go for long without chocolate myself.

Overall, I think it is a cultural issue and I try to keep an open mind as much as possible.

It's why the bank is after their house.

And yes, I am surrounded by these types of people. Not so much those that "can't go out for dinner" but those that take their kids out of certain schools or cannot afford their house payment but still take vacations, get their nails done weekly, hair always done, shopping, etc.

Makes me crazy. But at the same time, it motivates me even more to not be that way.

I'm frugal with my money, yet, somehow, am not annoyed by other peoples spending habits. Why waste your energy keeping tally of other peoples expenditures? Everybody moans about finances to some degree. Doesn't give you the right to judge thier everyday purchases. Some people are planners and budgeters. Some people live paycheck to paycheck and when they get a little "found money" they splurge. It's called retail therapy when you have money.....

Know what I find annoying? Manicures, pedicures, and especially tattoos! Really, can't everyone file and paint their own stupid nails? And tattoos - don't even get me started! I just don't understand.......

There. Did I sound as judgmental as you?

In your SWH you state that you are open to other people's perspectives, but in truth, you're only open to them if they agree with you. Being told you're judgmental IS the constructive criticism. You're being told so that you can work on it.

And how kind of you to allow that there is nothing, nothing at all wrong with people using gift cards or trading for services! We can all breathe a sigh of relief.

I'm not saying that I don't think many people have screwed up priorities. Many people do. But, until I walk in their shoes, or ask them outright why they make the decisions they do, I don't think it's my place judge them. Judge not lest ye be judged........

Wacked priorities. SO annoying.

LOL, I know this isn't about me, but I've got a new tattoo and now I'm broke ;)

(Actually, I'm broke because of a series of unfortunate events, new car tires, broken AC in the Jeep, etc, not because of this tattoo!!)

I totally see your point. My husband is terrible with money. He asks me everyday for cigarette money. I'm like 'If you KNOW you're going to need smokes tmrw and you have no money, BUDGET YOUR SMOKES DUDE!!' Making 1 pack last 2 days is NOT that hard (I smoke too! I know!)

But people like the one you just described never properly learned the value of a dollar. I'm so frugal, it drives my man NUTS... BUT, if I wasn't frugal, we wouldn't have been able to afford those new car tires and to fix the AC in the jeep... Okay, I lied up top, we're not broke, I'm just not spending any of my savings!! Not really a lie, but that's how I am with money. Budget, budget, budget baby! Some idiots never get it!!

My brother does this!! It does bug me, especially since my husband and I bust our behinds to make ends meet and provide for our family. But, I learned a long time ago that while it used to make me crazy, I have way more to worry about that the complete drain on society my brother and his wife are.

Omigosh this burns my brownies but good! I have no respect for this type of person at all. I have a coworker who is married and living in her parents' basement rent free and has a closet full of name brand shoes and Vera Bradley purses. And then has the nerve to complain about having no money or privacy in her parents house. Yet, she can go out to eat all the time, buy many hundreds of dollars of products at those home parties like Pampered Chef, and of course has the top of the line cell phone with unlimited data. I know I am jealous, since my car is a rattletrap, I own one purse from WalMart and eating out for me means a coupon at McDonalds. So I hang on to my pride and happily eat Ramen noodles and pay my bills. :)

I have a friend that totally does this. Heck my husband would if I let him. We aren't poor, but there are sacrifices to my not working so I can stay home with the kids. One of those being that I do not own a pair of tennis shoes. I spent last winter pregnant with only flip flops that would fit on my swollen feet. priorities, there are just things i want more, none of those are trips to the nail salon (although I'd love love love too) but I'd rather have that 50 bucks in savings, or spend it on one of the kids, or go out to do something fun, than buy shoes that i will only wear a couple of months a year anyways. My husband doesn't get it at all. He doesn't understand how at christmas I want a new sweeper, or new curtains and not something for "me". It's sad but not everyone feels that if they have a nice home (and i don't mean expensive nice, just clean and safe nice) and their kids have what they need, and everyone is happy, that they don't need all the other stuff. All the other stuff sure would be nice, but it makes me happier to have and do the things we do. I'm not going to live in filth, so I can get my nails done. (i'd just ruin them anyways cleaning the house, or working in the yard, lol)

I don't get it either. People certainly splurge on things they don't need.

I just booked a Disney trip - it's so expensive - yet everywhere is booked. For the life of me, I can't figure out why and how??

I certainly do find it annoying. I have had this problem in my daycare for YEARS. I recently gave a mom with 2 kids a super rock bottom low rate for daycare because she was in school. She has since quit school. She cries all the time that her rent is late and the kids don't have shoes and as she gives me my money she tells me all the time that she isn't making any money at work. But she just took a trip to Texas and posted tons of nice pictures on Facebook. She was gone for a week, spend quite a bit of time on the beach. And she is always talking about her meals on facebook and since she has food stamps she is always eating better than most of us can.

Another daycare family came to me with sob stories, couldn't afford this and that. Then they both came one day and gave me 80 bucks cash to watch the kids while they got these really big and very colorful Tattoos. But the next week they suddenly didn't have the money to pay me my regular weekly rate.

It's all about priorities. I'll pay most anything for learning, books, home schooling supplies, gadgets, computer programs, updating my computers etc. Many people think I'm just spoiled when I see it as a real need because of what I do for a living and the way I raise my kids.

Easy question to answer - they live this way because the rest of us PAY for it.

My husband saw a panhandler the other day with a sign with her sad story on it, something about being broke and homeless, you know the ones. Well, he passed her a second time in the day and she was on a cell phone, an Iphone thing. I forget, but my husband recognized it as being a high end phone (technology geek). I don't even have a cell phone, could have really used one this weekend too (got misplaced during a HUGE convention).

How do they do? Most live off the system.
Is it annoying? absolutley

Don't forget full cable, fast internet, Wii, eating out at least one meal a day, yogurt shops, ...

I know what you mean. I worked with a home repair charity one summer and in the family we worked with, the house was literally falling down around them and yet they had cable TV and I could have made a mortgage payment with what her son's car rims cost.

It was challenging for me to accept that.

A colleague's wife works for the IRS and says that it's hard to see welfare moms coming in dressed in Gucci with Coach bags demanding their refund checks even though they don't work.

It is annoying, but people will make their own choices. You know they obviously aren't happy because money is still a constant stress, so don't let it dog you.

Very annoying, but life is all about choices. How you spend your money is a choice. Choosing to spend money on short-term/ disposable items is foolish (to me) but I don't pretend to understand how it makes sense to someone else. Just as an example... my BIL lived in my basement for a year while he went back to school (at 35) to get his nursing degree. He had a FULL scholarship and had no living costs (we didn't charge him for anything and there were no rules about food/groceries, etc). What did he do? Bought a new car (nicer than mine) and took out a student loan so that he wouldn't have to adjust his lifestyle. His lifestyle consisted of eating lunch out every day, dinner out twice a week, new clothing, new cell phone, new camera, new pillows... etc... all while living for FREE in my BASEMENT! Sound good? Except now he has to pay back those loans, along with his original undergrad loans, rent, car payment, credit card debt and everything else and his girlfriend is getting anxious about an engagement ring... choices.

It used to frustrate me beyond belief when a parent would request a "Free/Reduced Lunch" form carrying a Coach bag with the kids wearing brand new Nikes.

I just remind myself that I don't get my nails done (except on my birthday), we don't go on lavish vacations, we don't drive fancy cars, we don't eat out all the time... but we do own everything we have and are saving for retirement and college. Honestly, that security feels way better than a 30 minute mani!

Very annoying!!!

My hubby and I talk about my cousin all the time about this subject!! She has her hair done/ colored/ cut/ extensions etc. Her nails done. New clothes e/o week. Goes out singing at clubs 2-3x a week.
Etc... She never keeps a job for no more than a month then is w/o one for monthes at a time then cries about not having money while doing all the above.

I haven't bought myself anything new yet this year. Hubby and I go out on date night every 3mo. ( sadly normally home by 10 lol) our money is very tight. I would love to go do things more often but when the reality is that when you can't afford to you live with in your means... no matter how boring it may be!

It is very annoying. It shows you what really matters to them. In my opinion, they really expect everyone else to take care of them (welfare, food stamps, government programs) as if they are entitled to it! It is unfair that the rest of use take care of ourselves, and them too!

Like many have said before, "lousy priorities". That's why I don't give anything to the "homeless" if they are smoking. They made their choice.

I used to work delivering Fuller Brush items for a Fuller Brush Salesman. I delivered to mostly VERY poor areas. What I noticed was the poorest people had very bad homes needing the lawn watered and mowed, trash in the yard, spent way too much money on expensive Fuller Brush items they could have purchased much much cheaper at K-mart. Most of those homes had very nice cars parked in the drive ways. The cars said "middle class". Every thing else said, "very LOW class".

I've answered many questions here on mam-pedia where people were complaining about not having enough money for food, but went to the beauty shop, had their nails done, bought premade frozen dinner items, add water and cook "Hamburger Helper" type dinners and didn't want to cook from scratch. They buy boneless skinless chicken breasts instead of regular chicken breasts, and buy chicken tenders. The "appetizers" shown on TV cost right at $5 per pound. And they say they only shop at one store. NO store has a monopoly on the lowest prices. They buy onions at $.99 lb, when the store 2 miles away has them for 8 lbs/$1.

Most of the time if you take the money spent on day care, fast foods and convienence foods, fancy clothes for the work area, car and gas, and insurance, dinner out because they "just don't feel like cooking" so they can work outside the home. If they became smart shoppers and became SAHMs, they would either make more money or they would find they are actually working for less than $.25 per hour. One of the major networks did a study on 4 women that were working moms. Only one made a "profit" by working outside the home. They added all of the expenses that were incurred when working outside the home and the one lady that made a "profit" was only making $.25 or $.26 per hour.

But we all make choices. And occasionally we even think about ALL of the ramifications of the choices we make.

Good luck to you and yours.

It's frustrating to me too as I am REALLY struggling with finances. I haven't gotten my hair done in 6 months and I only got it done then because my mom dragged me to the salon and paid for it. I was still trying to convince her that she should give me the money for my savings account instead, but she insisted.

Of course, then I realize that those people are going to eventually be struggling to have a place to live, food to eat, and will have creditors banging down their doors, but I will *hopefully* be secure once my debt is paid off. So then I stop caring. They want to mess up their lives because their hair is more important then their rent, then so be it.

My husband has a aunt and uncle that are very much this way. Last christmas his grandad gave all his kids 300, so the two sisters decided to take that money and pool it to buy grandpa a new tv. (His was turning green). The brother says, Oh i can't I need this money. Blah Blah Blah. Two days later we see dear aunt and uncle on a shopping spree at the mall. Auntie just bought a 100 dollar purse, when she already has like a hundred of them.....yuck.

It's funny you posted this because I was just on my "soap box" last Thursday stating the same thing. It's NOT just you. I'm annoyed by this as well!!!

ya like the gal I know who lived mortgage/rent free for 2 years and is now filed forclosure and bankrupsy but is going out ever night to eat, watch movies and has bought five vehicles used in the last 5 months. The person who could not afford there mortgage of $650 and is now renting for $1100, annoying beyond belief!!

I hear ya. Soooooo much of it out there. People always have "no cash" until they need a mani/pedi or a new tat.

This is a sore subject with me. My family is like this. In fact, my aunt has 2 homes and is behind on both payments and is considering cashing in her 401k just to get them caught up. Now I find out this weekend that she is PAYING for Farmville on Facebook because I guess you can better your farm...REALLY??? And this same aunt was talking to my mom yesterday, told her she "felt like pie" and was going to drive 2 hours one way to her fave restaurant to get pie!!! I have no tollerance, sympathy or respect for these people. Everyone has their "priorities" but don't put out the "I don't have any money" card to say you can't come out for a family holiday or bday. I just don't get it.

Unfortunately my family is like that as well: spending money for stuff they neither need nor can afford.
Though in their defense I have to say that my sis often barters for things like that instead of paying. She is friends with a guy that owns the tattoo place and has cleaned the shop for a month or so in return for a tattoo and she and a friend do their nails for each other so they only pay for materials.
I still think she would be better off getting a regular job and having a stable income rather than "making it work somehow" - but many people may not pay "full price" for those luxuries and well, those coach bags might be fakes as well (also something that my sis does, wear fake "name brands").

I don't get it either.
We knew a family that was in dire straits and gave them some money to make a house payment. Then I found out she still had a health club membership and several other things! I really regret having given it to them when I have family members that could have used it more.
Back when the Romanian orphans were the big news, a doctor came to the US from Romania. I was asked to be her host for a day. At one ECI program we visited, one of the moms went on and on about needing to go get her nails done. I just wanted to crawl into a hole. She probably spent more on her fake nails than that doctor made in a month.

Because they can't meet the big bills no matter what they do. I had cousins who did this while I was growing up and my mom and dad were best friends with them. My dad was next to the baby of 14 kids and all my first cousins were born in the 20's, 30's, and 40's. I was the odd ball and am the youngest in my generation. So I grew up hearing about relatives making the same kinds of choices.

I asked them about it once when I was an adult. They said if the house payment was $100 and they only had $50 they couldn't make the payment and the bank would not accept a partial payment so they had the money for other stuff that seemed trivial and silly to me. They had learned that if they could not afford the house payment then it was better to let it go.

They are now among my wealthiest relatives. They are in their 80's now but learned a lot of lessons as young adults, lost a lot of their possessions but that made them a closer family and eventually taught them to value a dollar.

Sounds like this is one of those learning experiences.

people have a difference of opinion on what to spend money on, my neighbors were inviting us over for steak dinners weekly just to have their house taken from them, a co-worker couldn't donate $2 for a thanksgiving meal but always smoked 2 pacs a day..... is it right -HELL NO...but they just don't get it...annoying - YES!!! And I'm with you - you don't like the question - DON'T RESPOND!! sometimes this site annoys me - LOL!

This makes me crazy. I knew someone who was constantly sick and so was her young daughter...missed many many days of school. She would cry claiming she couldn't afford to pay the $50 to go to the doctor. But could take an exotic vacation and then another one to Disneyland soon after. What the heck!

Call me judgemental then. It's difficult to not be judgemental when often...NOT ALWAYS but often...these people with the done nails, designer purses and clothes, are also the people that drive around in shiny new Escalades or other fancy cars, without car insurance! Besides this being completely irresponsible, it's illegal...at least in California. The person they hit is -- excuse the saying -- screwed. Some people need to get their priorities straight.

Yep, this is my BIL. says he can't get a job because it will affect his welfare payments. Sent his child to a private Catholic school which waived the fees, then went on vacation to Malta, bought a lot of chunky gold jewellery, and gets some new tats. Then his house gets taken off him. It's all crazy. I don't understand how everyone else seems to be taking vacations either!

Aimee M. Took my answer!!! :)

I have to believe it is they look at things a certain way that we don't and can never understand. Each one of us has a compass that points a certain direction based on our moral beliefs. I wonder how those see people who try to be frugal and careful with their money.

Nails, new tattoos and hair don't equal a mortgage payment in most cases. When you fall behind on the mortgage, they just don't want one payment or a portion of a payment they begin to request the entire amount due on the loan. So what ever money you may have won't even come close to the three or more months you have fallen behind or even at worse case scenario is them asking for the entire balance of the loan.

So when faced with that some people get their hair done, nails did or a new tattoo. Doesn't make it right. When you know better you can do better. They just don't know and may not be willing to learn any better which is how a poverty mentality works.

You can get a mani for $10, a house payment is way more than skipping a mani could ever pay!!! Tattoos are more expensive, but they could also be using trade to pay, like doing art or clean up for the store. I try not to judge others based on these types of things, you never really know someone's situation.

totally understand!!! I think they put all of these things on credit until there is no more credit. Then suddenly, they are actually strapped for cash.

I was just talking about this with someone, we couldn't make sense of it. I knew a guy who got married & had 2 babies right away, and his parents had to pay for their groceries & rent, but he was always getting big elaborate tattoos, and unnecessary purchases for the kids like a giant trampoline and kid sized jeeps, stupid things that they were way too little to even use. I don't get it!

That behavior just verifies WHY they are in the poor financial situtationt they are in! Yes - there are some folks who fall on hard times - they don't make these choices and do the best they can to get out of debt. Then there are those that continue to make poor choices even whent they "have no money". Just my opinion.

I could not agree with you more!!!! I too have family members like this. My brother-n-law and his wife. They spend more money than they have and just don't pay their bills and somehow they are fine with that. I don't get it. They have had their house taken and a car taken back by the bank, but they can still go out all the time, go on vacations, and buy new clothes for both of them for that vacation. But their son has no clothes that fit him. It is so sad to me. But for some reason his parents gave him money that he promised to pay them back that was like over 6 years ago and they have not paid them back 1 penny. This drives me crazy!!!! We work and pay our bills are fortunate enough to have money to do what we want to do but we work hard for it and also provide for our child. So when people say don't judge those people who receive assistance and still choose to spend money like they have I say they bring judgment on themselves not the other way around.

Call it socieconomic or a lack of priorities. Someone mentioned that in certain neighborhoods you have to "fit in" so the hair, nails and purses are the thing. The kids sometimes are kept up to the 9s but most times it's mom. Until you can break the mental thought process you will have these differences. It burns my butt as well but I cannot make them change anymore than they can make me change. We have several levels to our society and in that there are several more layers that must be changed/adjusted in order for people to be responsible for their own and not feeling "entitled" when they are not.

I won't get on this soapbox or it will be an all day thing.

The other S.

read Ruby Payne's A Framework for Understanding Poverty. I worked for 17 years in a very low income school district. This book made all the sense in the world to me.

.

Well one thing I have observed is that people with poor money managing skills often do spend their money on extravagant items, goes with the territory I think. I always think it is so weird when people I know, and am friends with, are like on gov't assistance and have the internet on their phone and nicer phones than me etc. Like I really marvel at that. My mom works with young girls who are pregnant and need some help and she says that they all have better phones than her, nails etc. I think poor planning and use of finances is a big part of why they are in the situation they are in. Nails just aren't a necessity ;) Hair can be combed and fixed nicely without weekly trips to the salon and a phone that makes and receives calls does just fine when money is tight. I think when people have these revelations they are on the road to financial health. I just shake my head and keep moving and I NEVER loan those particular friend money ;)

I work in a dental office and the best in when we get patients who come in with designer boots and manicures or tattoos But can't pay their dental bill or take their kids to get braces because they "cant't afford it."