Not a "Picky Eater"... a Non-eater.

My 4 year old son is in the same boat. He will not eat kid food, doesn't complain but it isn't his taste. So while the other 3 kiddos can down spaghetti, corn dogs, pizza, pot roast, grilled cheese and tomato soup, he barely touches anything. I've started making sushi or other adult foods a few times a week, here are some of his favorite foods:
california rolls
eel (he drinks the sauce!)
sockeye salmon with dill and capers, octopus salad on the side
tuna with tomato and lettuce on whole grain bread,
kalmata olive antipasta,
eggplant parmesean and corn souffle,
rosemary lamb with couscous
etc. I also let him salt and pepper his own food and don't push. So 4 days a week my 3 kid-food kiddos eat well and 3 days a week my cute little odd ball has his fill.

Just wanted you to know you're not alone. Our seven-year-old also hates to eat. He was a super eater until he was two and then everything hit a brick wall. He's extremely, extremely picky, with maybe five meal items he'll consider eating. Zero fruits or vegetables and will simply not eat if presented with them -- in fact, will storm off to his room if we insult him with them. We can only get those in through apple juice that has veggie juice in it. He won't drink smoothies. Doesn't have a sweet tooth. We joke that the best Christmas gift we could give him would be to tell him he never had to eat again. He'd be thrilled!

Our son's doctors are also concerned about him dropping percentages (he was 99% when born, so he had a long way to fall), so I understand the pressure you're under so well. We've been told by two different doctors to give him as much fat as possible since he doesn't eat much, because it's critical to brain and body development at this age. Not an easy task when I'm maintaining on Weight Watchers! It's so counterintuitive. The doctors are far less concerned about nutrition and just getting our son to eat.

We've tried rewards, punishments, making custom meals, not making custom meals. Tried pressuring him, tried being very low-key and "whatever." I have yet to find the key to getting him to eat.

I also know what you mean when others say they'll eat when they're hungry and you have a child who truly won't do that.

I really wish I could say what works in our situation, but have had no luck. Our son already sees a psychiatrist and behavioral therapist for ADHD (and no, his medication isn't the cause of the eating problems ... started well before he was even on them and are at their worst when the medication is out of his system). We've asked about eating disorders and they say no, just reiterating that we give him fatty foods. Haven't decided whether it's a good or bad thing there's no definition for what's going on.

Good luck! I hope your situation is just a phase. At the very least, I've got to think our boys will eat when they reach the teenage years.

See if you can make some sushi rolls at home- use tofu or hummus so that he will get some protein. It's unusual, I think, but not unheard of. Listen to your doctor b/c it may be something... or it could be nothing. Better to find out!

Random thought... would he be more likely to eat something he helped create? Maybe the two of you could hit the library and check-out a kids' cookbook. Let him pick-out something to make. Make the cooking a fun activity and then maybe he'll want to "try" his creation!

Have you tried to use food coloring to make the food look different? Maybe he is a very visual child and will eat food if it stimulates his senses. Have you tried cutting his food into different shapes (ie, trees, dinosaurs, etc). If you make it interesting for him he might be more apt to try to eat more of it!

My son was a non-eater at that age. He basically lived off chocolate milk. But since he had always been like that, the doctor thought it was ok. He had always been 5th percentile on the growth chart but he was healthy, active and happy.
I would go with the doctor's suggestions, but if he is happy and active and doesn't get sick all the time, he is probably fine.
If he eats sushi rolls, maybe you could get some vegetarian rolls (the ones with avocado are really good), or maybe you could make some yourself and put some meat in it instead of fish. We had some hot dog rolls once at a restaurant. I thought it was the grossest thing in the world, but I could imagine that children may like that.
Good luck!

My son went through this same thing after he turned 4...and he has always been underweight, so this didn't help. And my son also loves sushi. He has actually thrown fits for broccoli in the the grocery store. So I know what you are going through, not picky just not eating....it's so frustrating!!! For a while dinner time turned into a battle. Please eat, you have to eat, just two bites...it goes on and on. So I asked for some advice from some mamas on here. And basically, I was told to stop fighting. If my son said he wasn't hungry, we didn't push. He had to sit with us, but he didn't have to eat. We put his uneaten dinner in the fridge. IF he mentioned wanting a snack later, we let him eat his dinner. The first time dinner was offered, he fussed and fought us. So we let him be. Told him it was that or nothing. This happened for a few nights. We had the same techniques for all the meals...don't eat breakfast? Fine. But if you ask for a snack it's going to be the breakfast you didn't eat earlier. Then suddenly we realized that he was eating a little here and a little there. And although we do have a rogue day here or there, we haven't had any issues in several months. I think in our house if was a big control issue. He wanted to show us he could be in charge of something. (I also did things to add calories...we put him back on whole milk. He loves to dip fruit, so we'd offer yogurt or whipped cream. Adding butter to things in case he did touch it. That sort of thing)

Keep in mind that the serving sizes for a 4 year old are still pretty small. If he just has a small appetite, that's different than being picky about foods. I would not nag or pressure. That just turns it into a battle and you are not going to win.
I'd say at mealtimes, put out a variety of foods. Make a main dish you and hubby like and lots of sides. Breakfast could be muffins, cheese cubes, yogurts and fruit. Let him choose whatever he wants even if it's 2 bites of muffin and one tiny cheese cube. Dinnertime, make whatever meat/chicken/fish dish you and hubby like - serve with soup, brown rice, bread and butter, a raw veggie, a cooked veggie, a fruit, a bowl of olives and again, without begging or wheedling to just try a tiny bit of whatever, let him serve himself even if his whole dinner is bread and butter, and olives. Leave out some sort of healthy food at all times and don't look! If you have a snack platter out with peanut butter crackers, nuts, dried fruit and grapes, maybe he'll "sneak" a snack or two if he thinks you dont' notice or care.
Definitely keep in contact with your doctor and perhaps see a pediatric nutritionist.
Good luck!

I have a little girl who is the same way. I beg her to eat all the time! She always says she isn't hungry. Except she will eat sweets, to a point. She is below the 5th percentile for height and weight. The doc seems to think she is fine, since she is proportionate and shows no signs of malnutrition. I guess some kids just dont eat as much as others. (She was also a really pudgy baby and 2 yo)

First, it is true, he will eat when he is hungry. DO NOT put any merit into the whole growth chart thing...think about it. Currently 60% of the children in this country are overweight or obese....is that the chart your doctor is reading? Then good on your for having a son who is UNDER!

NUTRITION is super important. My daughters eat this every morning www.BestBreakfastEver.com and then I know they are set up for success for the entire day. Then if htey make different choices, i am okay with it.

My daughters ate when they needed to. I ALWAYS had snacks on the table or in the fridge cut up and ready. I always let them choose what they ate. Carrots, broccoli, grapes, apples, cheese, crackers, hummus, you name it, it was on the table ready to eat. (I found I ate better throughout the day too...that was a bonus!)

A couple of things:
...is he taking vitamins? (not all are created equally!) ask and I can recommend one.
...how long has this been going on? (growth spurts have an upside and s ad own side.
...what will he eat? How can you get more of that into him?
...what is the family eating?
...What are your habits teaching him? Is food a priority in your home or is it "something that happens in between running form here to there"? Maybe he doesn't place any value on food.

There is a lot going on here...sit back, observe and you will figure it out. Moms are brilliant!

B.
Family Success Coach

Dear K., I had a neighbor years ago who had a little girl who was very picky and hardly ate anything. She had a reason why for everything. She was also an only child. I invited her up to my apartment where she ate with my two sons at the time. She had pasta with fresh sauce (lumpy tomatoes) and anything I made was so much fun with the boys! Her mom was amazed. This may not be your sons issue but it is worth a try. Invite a friend over to eat with him... Grandma Mary (mom of 5) PS this was 40 years ago

This might sound crazy, but you're nagging him too much. I have a similar problem, except that my son is a picky eater as well. My MIL naggs him about eating more food, drinking more milk, eating more vegies; and guess what happens? He will eat a lot less when she's around than when she's not, because her nagging makes him too nervous to eat. My son actually drank a whole bottle of Strawberry Quick when MIL isn't around, but only drinks half a bottle when she's there. Just try to relax. I know it's hard, because I've bit my tongue many times. Let your 4 year old in the kitchen and let him pretend to be the "Iron Chef." Watch cooking shows with him, so he sees how much fun food is. Get creative. Buy cresent rolls and let him roll hotdogs up in them, then bake them. Don't forget to brag about how great a chef he is. Stuff pizza or bread dough with suggestions from your son. If he can't think what to put in it, then put cooked sweet sausage and cooked peppers in it, let him help pinch the dough together.