Not Being Good Enough

Well, I am having a hard time understanding what you're saying, it is not written clearly. But it seems like you're having guilt for not doing enough for your baby and having to go to work. I had a hard time going to work when my daughter was a baby. I'm not sure it gets easier, but it's better than not having a house/electricity/etc.

Taking a small break from the baby also does not make you a bad mother. Everyone needs some time to themselves. I feel bad that sometimes I take my daughter to daycare on Fridays when I dont have to work, just so I can get cleaning done and take a bath by myself.

Parents today spend more time with their children than parents ever have in the past, yet we have the most guilt about the time we dont spend with them. I think it's silly, but with the internet and everything, it always seems like someone is a better mother/housekeeper/whatever than you. You just have to do your best and know that your child is loved and well kept, and that's much more important that being betty crocker and having the cleanest house in the world.

It sounds like you may be feeling overwhelmed and depressed. Not uncommon, as it hard being a mom and working. I wouldn't worry as much about the "time spent," but how you are spending your time with your son. It is about what you are doing, not how long you are doing it.
I noticed that you are a young mom by your profile (21), which adds to the pressure...it is hard being a mom when you want to go out and just be yourself, and worry about only yourself. You are busy being an employee, a girlfriend, a mom, and it looks like a stepmom. Take a breath, maybe find a counselor or someone you can talk to about your feelings.
My only concern by your post is having your baby's brother watching him "for the night." Not sure how old big brother is, but no "child" should be a baby's caregiver for the night....EVER (it is irresponsible, dangerous, and illegal depending on his age).
You need to maybe look at some resources in your area for free counseling that can help you with your feelings, your childcare situation, and even the problems you have with your boyfriend. You have a lot on your plate, and there are many resources out there to help if you look and ask (we have a Family and Children's Center, and Couleecap, among other places locally that provide childcare options, counseling, financial assistance, and other resources for familes). Good luck!
Please ignore the post about your punctuation and complete sentences. Though it does help to review your posts before sending, and try to adhere to grammar and punctuation (to make it more readable)...some of us are not as literate in those areas and should not be insulted for it...If you don't have constructive advice on the issue...don't waste your time being snarky...just don't reply. SaraB did an excellent job of commenting while explaining she wasn't sure of the post's question.

It sounds like you're carrying a lot of responsibility.
I think it would be a good idea for you to talk to a therapist
to help you sort out just what you can do and cannot do
so that you will be more pleased and satisfied
with what you __can__ do and are doing,
and will stop being so hard on yourself for what you cannot do.
Until you start seeing a therapist, I'd like you to remind yourself
NOT to think of yourself as a bad mother.
This kind of thinking does not do you or anyone any good.
Make a list of all the good things you do
for yourself and your sons every day.
Thank you for giving us an opportunity to give you some feedback.

Really, Momma11? Someone is obviously depressed and you're popping on just to say their style of writing isn't good enough for you and nothing else? Mean, lame, not nice.

N., you have a big heart, and your free time is short right now. You need to feel good about your time with your son, and DO NOT let your boyfriend make you feel bad about yourself. What do you mean you make him sad? I don't know the whole story there, but get the real picture in focus and solve it. Breath. It will be OK. Take one day at a time and focus on the moment. Even when you're at work, breath deep. Everything is OK. Try not to feel overwhelmed about the past present and future all at once. Many people are stretched thin working these days, your relationship with your child will be OK if you keep strong. Things will get better. Everyone goes through rough patches and it causes you to problem-solve and get better and stronger over time.
Talk to someone, a friend, therapist, please be good to yourself.

Dearest ____@____.com sounds like your love your little one. That is all he needs. Love and food and shelter and safety. If you love him, and he knows it, you are amazing. You are doing the best you can, which is awesome.

my mom loved herself and money more than her children. We had a nice house, money, etc. I would have rather had a mom like you.

Jilly

Hi,

Being a mom isn't easy. It sounds like you are doing the best that you can! Give yourself credit for working to provide for your family and spending as much time as you can with your kids. You can't be supermom or a perfect mom--don't try to meet anyone elses expectations. Do your best and thats good enough. Try to utilize the time you have with your child as quality time- reading books, riding his bike etc. (not sure how old he is---)

Write down all the things you are good at and the things you love about yourself-- better yet, have your b/f write some too! When you start feeling down, take the paper out and read it----Your doing a great job!

As for the mom who wrote about punctuation etc. I am kinda suprised you couldn't decipher the post- I read it just fine. If you don't have something nice to say or helpful to the one posting, don't bother leaving your comments.-

M

If you spent 8 hours with a 6 year old and you DON'T feel like you need a break THEN I would think there is something wrong with you. Come on, kids do not, and should not need that kind of attention. Our generation was lucky enough to have our parents attention as they fed us, made sure we were ready for school and drove us places. I think most have good attatchments and love their parents dearly. What is it that you are trying to prove? Set boundaries for him and yourself or you cannot be a good mother to him. It's quality, not quantity. Take him to the train museum for a few hours and when you get home let him go to a neighbor's house or play outside with friends while you do stuff in the house..IT'S OK! Don't make him into an attention freak....that will not work real well in the end.