Not Ready for My Son to Start Puberty! How Old Was Your Son?

Both of my sons were 12 outward signs puberty were emerging in various ways. The first thing I remember was the stink. lol

As for facial hair, it hasn't progressed much past fuzz for my 15-year-old.

Their voices changed at 13. There wasn't much warning, they didn't have the intermittent 'cracking' that many boys do. One day I heard a strange man talking in in the living room and wondered who had come to visit. It was my baby! The same thing happened with his brother. From child voice to man voice without warning.

No one knows. It's individual. And if he's almost 12, you really are late in getting yourself "ready"! Start having regular talks about body changes, both in terms of sexual characteristics and things like body odor. Then there are sexual feelings and masturbation and hormones and....more. You do not want a child who gets his info from his friends, all of whom have parents who "aren't ready"!!! Get some books if you have to - the public librarian is an often overlooked resource. Kids who don't get this info are truly handicapped and it's unfair to them and others to fail to prepare them. If there's a sexual health class at school, be sure he attends.

Ready or not, here it comes! Hang on.

I agree with Diane B on this one. Do get the books from the library and have him read them after you have read them. If he has questions answer them truthfully and if you don't know tell him that. But also tell him that you will look up the information and get back to him.

If you have a husband, have him get involved in the changes that are/will/have taken place. Your son might not want to tell mom his inner feelings and thoughts about what he is feeling.

Create an area that is safe for him to "pleasure" himself privately without you barging in on him. If he put a tie on the door knob to his door you know to stay out.

Welcome to the wonderful word of the teen and the ups and downs and all that go with it.

the other S.

PS I have a son and daughter and they both were late bloomers to the world of puberty. In fact they kind of went through it together even though brother was three years older than sister. Oh the joys.

I wasn't ready for my daughter to start puberty at 8 but nature didn't ask what I wanted so I had and still have to deal with it. I don't have a son but I would start talking to him about the changes he is going to see in his body. Let him know that he is developing into manhood and the responsibilities that come with it. If he has a peach fuzz I'm sure he is fuzzy in other places so let him know the importance of being clean. We want them to stay babies longer than they do but unfortunately their bodies have a different plan. Good luck!!

I cannot answer specifically, as for each child it is different.

I will share a funny story though...my youngest of four son's had peach fuzz in 7th grade. His brother's 'tormented' him to grow a mustache.

As the 'evolved' and experienced parent I was (ha!) I told him to go ahead (thinking, naturally, on my VAST experience with three older boys that it would be futile).

Joke was on ME! In his 7th grade school pics, he sports a mustache! A 'shadowy' one, but it is there! lol

Be open to his questions and concerns. And, sorry to tell you...GET READY!

He is becoming a young man...the goal of childhood for a male, yes?

Best luck!

puberty doesn't care if anyone's ready or not.
12 is plenty old. like girls' periods, boys' whiskers seem to be coming on earlier than ever.
both of my boys were 12 when they started, but they had lots of friends their ages who started younger.
your husband is your best barometer for your individual boy, although that's not a sure thing either.
as for your last question, my kids both had skimpy facial hair all through their teens but weren't able to grow thick bushy beards (gods give me strength, i'm so glad their women have put the kibosh on that) until their mid-20s.
khairete
S.

How old was your husband when he had to start shaving every day?
My husband was in college.
Some guys get facial hair early (my son had friends who had full mustaches in middle school) and some are way older before they have to shave more than once per week.
If he's had advice from the gym teacher about using a deodorant (and most get this speech in the 4th grade) then - puberty has already begun!
Get yourself some books about what he can expect as he matures and changes - and read them first before he does.
Your husband's been through this - he should be a great resource to talk to about it.

I was told the average is now earlier for boys too than when we hit puberty so around nine or ten. And they finish up earlier so around fifteen. One of mine went from a faint bit of hair over lip to he will probably need to do something about it in about a year so maybe three years? But my other son that age has no hair over lip. One has oily skin other has dry. The older one hasn't grown the younger one is now taller than me. So it's highly individual and they don't seem to to get all the signs at once. Nothing you can do to change it! I know it's shocking at first but I am used to it now. For me it's the growth spurts. The pants we bought at start of school year are now up to ankles. Time for new ones.
Eta I don't mean finished puberty and changes by fifteen but I think they should have hit it by then - that was the age range I was told. Some happens overnight, others start at nine. But I'm sure there are are bloomers, I was.

I read the book "its perfectly normal" with my sons and there were a couple of times during the chapters on puberty my 11 year old son said things like "so that is what is happening to me", so I knew I was just in time with the book.